Wie/Patrick: Gimmick?

You know, I really hope that Danica Patrick wins a race or Michelle Wie makes the cut of a PGA event. Not because I really care about them or their sport, but because maybe I won't have to put up with nauseating wall to wall coverage of their non-winning careers when I pick up a sports section. Wie can't even make a cut when she plays a PGA event full of nobodies like the John Deere Classic. About the only golfer I recognized in the field was the immortal Stewart Cink. Yet, I had to put up with idiot sportswriters hyperventilating about her "chances" to make the cut. Dumbass Dan Shanoff from ESPN.com has basically become her publicist. He said she was the most talented golfer if you factor in things like gender and age and experience. Well, shit. If you factor in my lack of athletic ability or coordination or the simple fact that I've never actually played a round of golf, I can say I'm the most talented golfer. I don't care what you factor in, she hasn't won an event on the LPGA, let alone made the cut at a PGA event. That means to me that she obviously isn't the most talented. Shanoff expanded on that later by saying she was the most talented golfer younger than Tiger Woods. Strange. Didn't she just choke in the U.S. Women's Open to finish tied for 23rd while a girl only two years older took second? Yeah. She needs to win on the LPGA before I start calling her the best female teen golfer, let alone the best golfer.

At least Danica Patrick has an excuse. She drives in the IRL, which is a minor league series, and gimmicks are expected in the minors. And it is a minor league series. Formula One is the most popular open wheel racing in the world, even if they can't really finish a race in this country. Hell, it's only been the past couple of years that the IRL was the best open wheel racing in the U.S.. Until the top CART teams (Penske, Rahal, Ganassi and Andretti) defected to IRL, CART was easily better. For a few years, the Indy 500 was the biggest joke in the world. It was the equivalent of Busch series drivers making up the field of NASCAR's Daytona 500. Speaking of NASCAR, that is by far the top dog American racing. It is so much stronger that rising stars like Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon made the jump from open wheel. Hell, John Andretti (whose family is the most famous name in open wheel racing) rides for NASCAR. IRL racers were bragging about how high their Indy 500 ratings were, and that they beat the Coca-Cola 600 ratings that same weekend. So what? I remember not that long ago when the Indy 500 was must-see TV, but now they are happy with a 6.6 in their signature event (with a gimmick) when a regular NASCAR race pulled a 6.1. Hell, a regular race at Talledega pulled a 7.6 for NASCAR. That's not to mention the Daytona 500 which was 10.9. So I think I'm on solid ground when I say that IRL is minor league. That's not to say Danica Patrick is not a good driver. She's a top rookie who is 10th in the IRL standings. Yet, every race I have to read about how she should be considered a favorite. A favorite? She has two fourth place finishes. Outside of that, her only other top ten finish was 9th. As for all the talk that she would have won the Indy 500 if she had more gas, that's bullshit. She was in 9th when most of the other leaders pitted. That's the only reason she was in the lead late, but her team took a huge gamble. They needed to be under caution for most of the end of the race to have enough gas. That's why she let off the pedal. If it wasn't for two late cautions, she would have run out of gas and finished very far back. So, she's a pretty good rookie. That doesn't justify the press she gets, and I just don't understand the appeal. She is cute, but I've seen better tits on a snake, so I don't think the sex appeal is all that, especially considering she's in a helmet, car and fire resistant suit during the race.

I'm sure some might think all this is based on sexism. It's not. Wie would kick my ass in golf. Since I let myself get out of shape, she could probably win an arm wrestling match. So, I can't have too much male pride about it. Besides, when I was in college, I was a big supporter of women's sports. I went to women's basketball and volleyball games, even traveling to some. Last year, I went to Louisville to root on UL's volleyball team in the NCAA tournament. So, I don't have a problem with successful women athletes. My problem is the media saturation for events that are not new. Check the news articles about Michelle Wie. They say she's trying to be the first woman to make the cut in a PGA event since Babe Zaharias did 60 years ago. If a woman could do it 60 years ago, it's not that stunning that a woman can do it now. I would wager that the growth of the LPGA is the reason more women haven't tried. You can probably make more money as a top LPGA player than someone who barely makes the cut in the PGA. In auto racing, three women (Sara Christian, Ethel Mobley & Louise Smith) were in the 1949 Daytona race (pre-cursor to the Daytona 500). In Indy Car racing, Janet Guthrie qualified for the Indy 500 before Patrick was ever born. And in the 70s, I would say that's more impressive because top drivers were still driving the 500, unlike today. This is nothing new, so I think it stinks that these two are sucking all the publicity from the people who are actually winning these events.