Meat Eating Plants and other news stories

A team of Brits who like plants have discovered a very large meat-eating one in the Philippines (no verification if one of them tried to put his junk into it). They say it can eat a rat, but do they know that? And did they find out by dropping rats into it? And did they say how big a rat it would eat? Like maybe one as big as a small cat? Maybe that's this guys next step. A man in New York has been arrested for killing four (possibly five) of his girlfriend's cats and maiming a sixth. Two at a time over a three month period. Let's be clear that I am not condoning his behavior which is certainly extreme. However, how stupid is that woman? You have two cats die in October. You get two more in November and one dies and the other becomes seriously damaged. At this point, even if you aren't smart enough to suspect someone is trying to intentionally kill the kitties, don't you think God is trying to tell you that you shouldn't have cats? Nope. She goes to get two more.

It's times like these that I find it hard to fathom that anyone would consider making the District of Columbia a state. And it doesn't even involve the continuing electoral career of serial criminal Marion Barry. Washington consistently has one of the highest poverty and murder rates in the country. Want to know who a DC councilman is blaming for it? Single slice pizza stands. Now when I lived in Maryland, big greasy pizza slices did have a drug connection. Namely, the guy who owned Frank's Pizza trafficked cocaine out of his. In this case, it appears that drunks from the local bars stop for a slice of pizza and get into fights. So, wouldn't closing the bars seem the more appropriate way to stop drunken violence? It would unless you're an elected official in Washington DC.

After all, Washington is where they've begun ticketing people who are parked in their own driveway. Not people who are letting part of their car hang over the sidewalk or even street. It's people whose cars aren't completely passed the front of the house. How can they do that? The law is that the property between the sidewalk and front of the house is public property. Although the "owner" still must maintain it. Does this mean that homeowners are going to have to begin repaving the street in front of their house? Does this mean I can have a picnic on someone's front lawn? After all, it's public space.

Major college basketball coaches in Kentucky aren't having a good time of it lately. Rick Pitino's problems come from off the court while John Calipari's are on it. As a Louisville fan, does the allegations about his one night stand/alleged rape/abortion connection change my opinion about him? Not really. On a personal level, I've never liked him much anyway. His "I meant it at the time I said it" pattern means I never believe a lot of what comes out of his mouth. I don't believe him when he says this was a one time thing. There were rumors about him philandering when he was at UK. Why would I think it suddenly stopped. However, I don't believe he raped her. And I only need one reason to figure that out. Why would she marry the guy who worked for her rapist and at whose home the second alleged rape occurred? That means in six months, she decided to marry a man who didn't stop her from being raped and whose job would make her have to spend time around that rapist? Sorry, not buying it. And while I assume Pitino knew it was possible that she might get an abortion, I actually believe him when he says the money wasn't for that. He did give her a lot more money than what it would cost. Of course, I doubt the baby was even his. She told him 2 weeks after which is about as early as it would show on a test. Was she checking every day? Plus, if it was his and she wants money, why kill the golden goose? Not that she's shown herself to be really bright. She could have nickle and dimed him for years or asked for a few hundred thousand at once and probably got it. Instead, she asks for $10 million to keep her mouth shut. Well, he makes about $2.5 million a year which means his take home pay is less than half of that. That means she was asking him for eight years of take home pay which means he's no longer worried about losing his job over any embarrassment because it'd be a lot cheaper to quit than pay $10M. Oh, and she's also probably going to jail over it.

Now, I don't think my coaches need to be saints so since I don't think he broke the law, I wouldn't fire him over one count of adultery that happened several years ago. However, if I thought the potential distraction outweighed keeping him, I'd want him gone. However, I don't want Ralph Willard as the interim coach (fine at WKU & Holy Cross, just plain bad at Pitt) so for this year, I don't see any choice other than keeping Pitino. And I'm not sure the conditions at road games will be that terrible. UK is already wanting blood so who cares about there. I laugh whenever I see "pundits" point out all the Catholic schools on UL's schedule and their reaction to the abortion claim. Yeah, right. Catholic schools are being criticized a lot lately for honoring pro choice politicians and allowing pro choice (and gay) groups and activities be sponsored on campus. It's pretty clear that most of their students aren't going to get bent out of shape over things opposite of church teaching. And the other claim that it will hurt recruiting is pretty silly too. How many college basketball players do you think are that concerned with a coach messing around like that? Probably a lot want to pick up some pointers on picking up chicks willing to not just sleep with you, but put out at the bar itself.

Now Calipari has a different problem. His best season ever was a 38 win runner up in 2007. Well, it's gone. Vacated because star player/imbecile Derrick Rose cheated to pass the SAT to be eligible. My favorite part of the whole thing is watching the feuding columnists at the Herald-Leader. You have Mark Story who has been against Calipari's hiring from the get-go due to his sketchy rep. Then you have John Clay who is so embarrassingly fawning over Calipari that he should be paid for his PR work. Come on. A headline that says "Calipari Guilty of Trusting NCAA"? Please. I freely admit there isn't any way to connect Calipari directly to Rose's cheating, but to pretend he's some kind of victim is laughable. I initially thought he was a good hire even with the Umass problem. Then I thought it was nuts that UK hired him when I found out that Memphis was being investigated and UK knew it. UK is not a program that can get away with hiring a cheater. It would be like Alabama hiring someone with probation in his background.

Do I think you can prove that Calipari knew Rose cheated? Nope. Do I think he did know? Hell yeah. Top athletes who have committed to a program don't send their transcripts to the NCAA clearinghouse. The school handles it. The school and staff are well aware what's going on with their academic life if they aren't qualified. Does anyone think Calipari wasn't aware that Rose had failed a standardized test three times and suddenly passed one in another state? I don't and I'm not alone. Georgia refused to admit Robert Dozier because of a very sketchy test score. Calipari was okay with it and Dozier did graduate with degree in interdisciplinary studies. Wait, did he get a degree in Undecided? A degree. I'll take that with a grain of salt. James Brooks graduated with a degree from Auburn and couldn't read. Calipari also got a bunch of other geniuses from a really suspect prep school that Dozier attended. Add that to his Umass problem and it's hard to give him the benefit of the doubt. Does that mean he'll get a Final Four vacated at UK? Don't know. I do know that a friend at work was completely correct about one thing. If Calipari stayed at Memphis and this came up, all the UK fans would insist he was a cheater. I also think that if UK does get a Final Four invalidated because of Calipari, they'll still hang a banner at Rupp Arena for it.

Here's a teacher with a degree who is stupider than James Brooks. An idiot fourth grade teacher thought it would be okay to have fake wedding ceremony with a student. One of his students. A fourth grader. Which we know is bad because fourth graders are such jealous, harpie bitches towards each other and will hold the favortism against her. Oh, and fourth graders are like ten years old. WTF could he have been thinking? Really. WTF. How could that turn out anything but bad?

This teacher knew that certain things should not be known. She got it on with a 15 year old student (of the male gender). And gave him $1500. I really hope that the money was to pay for his silence. She's not a great beauty but she could easily get one night stands by offering herself. I can't believe she'd find sex with a teenager good enough to pay for. $1500? That's what....$1500 per minute?

Then we get this one. A teacher in California decides to make a home DVD of class activities for her elementary school kids. And somehow includes a clip of her fingerbanging herself for a handful of seconds. But fear not. She's probably not going to be fired. I guess I could look for a follow up story but I don't feel like it. But it's nice that everyone is convinced that it was just an accident. Who knows what kind of freak she really is? And the father who wants counseling for his kids is classic. He also wants someone to answer his kids' questions. I can do that. Just tell them that she's looking for her keys.

Michael Vick & Other Stuff

So the Eagles signed Michael Vick. I knew someone would. Didn't think the Eagles would. In fact, no matter how I look at it, the deal makes no sense to me. Let's ignore for the moment the whole PR disaster that could result from it. Let's look at the football part of it. To begin with, Vick may not even be able to play until almost halfway through the season but will take up a roster spot until then. The idea is that Vick can run the "Wildcat" formation for the Eagles. But that's a limited formation that bad offenses use because defenses struggle to prepare for it. Of course, the reason defenses struggle with it is because it's not a base offense and is essentially a trick play. And it's value goes down the more you use it. I'm not sure Vick running the offense will be that effective because the Wildcat is essentially a running back with the ability to make a decent throw playing quarterback. Which is basically what Vick was in Atlanta. An inaccurate passer who could tuck it and run. What's worse is the Eagles apparently didn't even try him out before they signed him. He looked chunkier than before. Who knows if he's even going to have his game breaking speed anymore.

And the Eagles didn't have a bad offense overall last year. They were the fifth highest scoring team in the regular season and made the NFC title game. Will a few boosts really make that much of a difference? Especially at the expense of team chemistry? Sure everyone says the right things. Donovan McNabb insists he pushed for it. But behind the scenes, that doesn't sound true. And why would anyone think McNabb is for it? He was unhappy when the Eagles drafted Kevin Kolb in the second round. Why would he suddenly be happy that they signed a quarterback who was once a star? And as Jaws says, Vick is a threat to McNabb. Philly has a passionate fanbase, but they've never been accused of being very smart about the game itself. They'll be screaming for Vick if McNabb has a bad series. That could be a problem for McNabb who is overly sensitive.

Then there is the whole PR problem surrounding why Vick was out of football for two years. Sure, America's village idiot, Jesse Jackson, actually claimed the NFL was colluding to keep Vick out and he deserves a second chance. Sure, he may deserve a second chance, but that doesn't mean an NFL team has to give it to him. Playing pro football is a privilege, not a right. He can go dig ditches for all I care. Teams have to measure how he'll impact their win/loss record plus their image which affects the bottom line. The Eagles' owner is already taking a hit to his reputation by signing Vick after saying a couple of years back that he'd never have a dog fighter on his team. And let's remember that Vick was doing more than fighting dogs. He was pretty much torturing ones that didn't pan out. Does this mean I don't believe him when he says he was remorseful about the "horrible mistake" he made while engaged in it? Of course I don't believe him. They were hanging dogs to kill them. I refuse to believe he thought he was doing something wrong but couldn't at least switch to shooting the dogs to make it quicker. He's only remorseful that he got caught. The Eagles are going to have a distraction of people very unhappy with this signing and they're stupid if they didn't know it was coming. This writer hits the nail on the head. Why are so many people out there risking their reputation to support Michael Vick?

But let's get to some stories that I've been saving for quite some time:
Let's start with England. A few months back, I mentioned a story where some 12 year old boy supposedly knocked up his girlfriend. Well, he wasn't the father. So soul-searching in England will now have to shift to asking why a 14 year old girl has so many people claiming to have fathered her baby.

Speaking of teen sex, we have another story of a cougar sleeping with teen boys. Except she has a novel excuse. This woman wanted to keep predatory boys from messing with her girls. By sleeping with those predatory boys. Oh, and because it made her feel young and attractive. But it was really about protecting her daughters. If my "she-was-warming-her-hands-in-pants" excuse didn't fly, this one shouldn't.

Ah China. A man is feeling suicidal and climbs a bridge to jump off. Another man decides he's tired of people trying to get attention by pretending they are going to kill themselves. Which seemed an accurate idea in this case since the guy was only 26 feet up. So, the passerby pushes him off the bridge. Problem solved.

I find this story from Britain more concerning than the one about 14 year old sluts. Pringles will now be taxed under their VAT because it has too much "potatoness". Something not quite right in taxing Pringles as a non-food because of too much food content. Also something very wrong with a 17% sales tax on potato chips.

Nice to see Yale is training their students to come up with big ideas. Even if they are incredibly dumb. One student decided to live in a "sustainable house". She calls it sustainable because she's able to power it with solar cells. Well, her definition of sustainable seems to include things that my definition wouldn't. Like being the size of a dorm room. And being built with donated material. And having a neighbor let you use their bathroom because this house doesn't have one. This is ridiculous to think she's proven anything. She essentially is living in a solar powered garden shed. Does anyone really think that this is a realistic model for future dwellings?

Interesting marketing plan by Cheap Trick. They're going to release an album on 8 track. Not necessarily a way to get younger fans who won't even know what an 8 track is. As someone whose first stereo was a hand-me-down that included an 8 track player, I wouldn't be real thrilled to go back to that format. Cassette tapes replaced 8 tracks for little reasons like being more portable, cheaper and the ability to rewind. Oh, and cassettes didn't have the wonderful "8 Track Click" that would often happen when you were in the middle of a song. Certain irony for me with this story. I didn't have very many 8 track cartridges (the stereo also had a record player and 8 tracks weren't readily available anymore), but one that I found at a garage sale was In Color by Cheap Trick.

How about some hooker stories. Here's one about your government at work. Well, if you're in Amsterdam. The city council is very concerned about the ability of whores to get bank loans. I have no idea why banks might think hookers are bad credit risks and not want to give them money.

In Mexico, two midget wrestlers were killed by female robbers pretending to be hookers. Damned shame when little people have to worry about their whores not really being whores.

And finally, I stumbled across this video from Thunder Over Louisville Air Show this year. It's two Chinook helicopters dipping themselves in the Ohio River while putting on their show. My brother was flying one of them.