Major News

The Democratic National Committee is cracking down on Florida for moving their primary into January when DNC rules state that only Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina can have their primary/caucus before February 5. The Republican National Committee could follow. I think it would be rather funny if the conventions rejected the Florida delegates. Funny and quite stupid. I’ve always thought the primary schedule was borderline retarded. Of those four states, South Carolina is the only one in the top 30 in population, and it is only 24th. Nominees are often decided very early in primaries because front runner status means more media attention and campaign donations. Should a bunch of pig farmers really have that much say in who the nominee favorite is? In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever voted in a meaningful primary because Kentucky’s primary election is in May when the race has been long decided. Plus, Donna Brazile mentions that one reason states want to move up is campaign and media spending that is brought in, but why should Iowa and New Hampshire be the ones to get an economic benefit from political campaigns?

The main reason I believe it’s stupid to take Florida’s delegates is because they have so many. Only California, New York and Texas have more. In fact, it has more than Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina combined. By not seating delegates, you have two problems. The first problem is candidates skipping Florida during the primary season. Presidential voting has been tight there recently so Florida votes are valuable. If your candidates won't get delegates in Florida, they won’t campaign there during the primary. Then they lose valuable face time for the general election. Not smart. It's especially dumb for Democrats because they are almost certainly going to win New York and California's electoral votes anyway. Florida can be a toss-up. By taking that state out, an advantage would have to go to the other party's eventual nominee.

The other problem is if there is a close primary race. Suppose no one runs away with it and two candidates are fairly close, but the second place candidate won Florida's "beauty contest" quite handily and would have won the nomination with those delegates. I wonder if there would be controversy? Well, duh. The loser will want the delegates seated (do I hear the word disenfranchisement?). The winner will insist that the only reason he/she/it lost Florida was because he/she/it knew the delegates wouldn't count so why campaign there. No matter what happens, someone's supporters will be pissed, and they may not wholeheartedly support the nominee. Whoever wins the nomination for the Democrats will want Bill Clinton to campaign for them. If Hillary is the one shafted, will his anger that she's always home keep him from supporting Obama? If Obama is the one screwed, that could affect the black vote. No, they won't for Republicans. The Democratic Party could run a Klansman and get the black vote. Actually, they do every six years in West Virginia. So, the Republicans won't be the recipient of more black votes, but the Democratic nominee would certainly be hurt by low black turnout. So, does it really makes sense to take a chance on these type of problems just so Iowa gets the first vote.

I hadn't planned on watching CNN's God's Warriors series, because Christine Amanpour is an idiot. Plus, comparing Christian and Jewish fundamentalists to Islamic fundamentalists is laughable. I guess there's some Jewish terrorists from the West Bank settlements, but I can think of one guys shooting up a mosque and another killing Yitzhak Rabin. Recent Christian terrorism consisted of ........well, Timothy McVeigh makes it hard since he was really a practicing agnostic. As for Islamic terrorism, where to begin? Two seperate World Trade Center bombings, the London subway, the Madrid trains.........actually, I don't think blogspot gives me enough memory to list them all. However, it's one thing for me to rip CNN for...well, anything, but the surprising part of God's Warriors is that MSNBC criticized the program's lack of objectivity. Let that sink in. Keith Olbermann/Chris Matthews' MSNBC (i.e. the most liberal news network) is criticizing CNN for a lack of objectivity. Let's be honest. Why would anyone expect it to be anything but a whitewash for Islamic terrorism? For one, Amanpour has always carried water for Islamic fundamentalists. Why stop now? Two, reporters know as well as anyone what criticizing Islam will get you. Look at the Washington Post. They refused to run an "Opus" comic strip that makes fun of radical Muslims. As noted, they didn't have a problem with one that made fun of Jerry Falwell. Does anyone think they made a point of asking staff members who were Baptist (they probably would have to leave the newsroom to find a practicing Baptist employee) whether or not they would be offended by the Falwell strip? Of course not. Baptists don't have a history of driving cars full of dynamite to people's front steps.

Shane Ragland pleads guilty to second-degree manslaughter in the shooting death of Trent DiGiuro. A man was slaughtered. Of course, when you're accused of sniper assassination of a specific target, I don't see how it's "negligent". How incompetent is Commonwealth's Attorney Ray Larson? First he screwed up the original trial when a prosecutor improperly mentioned Ragland refused to testify which led to a new trial. Oh, and picked an expert witness who perjured herself. Now, the decision has been made to let Ragland plea out. What did Larson get? The same thing he would have gotten with an acquittal in a retrial - a walk. Oh, and an admission of guilt that rings somewhat hollow when I have to agree with Ragland's attorney that he pled guilty because it's smart to take a free pass over the possibility of life.

So, why give the plea deal? Larson explains that he wasn't going to make the main witness testify again. That would be Ragland's ex-girlfriend who says he admitted to her that he killed DiGiuro because he was blackballed by a fraternity (ex-girlfriend? How stupid is that?). Why didn’t she want to testify again? Larson says she was afraid for her life. Is it any safer with Ragland walking the streets? Actually, if Larson thinks Ragland is a threat to people’s life, what is he thinking making a deal to put the guy back on the street? For public safety, shouldn’t he be trying his hardest to put Ragland away for life? The only reason I can see this deal being made is if Larson didn’t think he could win and is simply protecting his conviction rate.

The Deuce was Juiced. Too easy. I did want to make a point about the steroid issue that is now surrounding Tim Couch. I’ve said many times before that sports need to clean up steroids. It’s not fair that players who don’t want to take the risk feel compelled to because they know other players are. I don’t really care what Couch is doing now since he’s been a Floridian for several years. However, I take issue with him treating me like a moron when he says he would have flunked a drug test taken in July when he signed with Jacksonville if he had been using. That’s just insulting my intelligence. The article clearly shows his last regimen would have ended in late January. Of the steroids mentioned, all would have been out of his system in three months so they wouldn't be detected when he signed contract. And there isn't a piss test for HGH yet, so that's completely undetectable by an NFL drug test. Picking up 35 pounds while dropping your body fat from 17.5 percent to 4 percent in that amount of time just doesn't seem probable. He wanted back in the league and probably took a shortcut. Personally, I think the NFL should make him the poster boy for steroids. They can hold him up to high school kids and show that steroids won't necessarily make you any good.

Senator Larry Craig (R-SD) was charged with disorderly conduct for trolling an airport bathroom looking for gay sex. Thankfully, he says he's not gay, and I'm sure a lot of straight guys cruise the airport bathrooms and know the universal come-on. It was interesting to see a liberal like Chris Matthews describe homosexuality as "deviant". My question is how public toilets became pickup joints? I guess since my clumsy advances are directed towards women, it would be difficult to act inconspicuous following them into the can. Yet, even if I could, what's the attraction? One thing I discovered a long time ago was that public bathrooms often have what I like to call a stench. Not what I really consider a turnon.

Mike Vick apologized and said he found Jesus. That was quick. I’m assuming he didn’t mean some Mexican convict named Jesus who will be his cellmate. I thought I was through with Vick, but then people started believing the apology. It was one thing for morons like Keyshawn Johnson and Emmitt “I can’t speak proper English” Smith to take buy his line on Monday Night Countdown. They aren’t very smart. However, when Mike Greenburg actually said he believed Vick was truly contrite, I knew something was wrong. How stupid can people be? This is the P/R scandal to the letter. When caught doing something you aren’t supposed: 1) apologize; 2) act contrite and 3) get religion. Paris Hilton would be so proud.

Then we get the “he made a mistake” and “used poor judgment”. Poor judgment leading to a mistake is generally poor judgment leading to an unintended consequence. Greenburg compared him to Leonard Little who drove drunk and killed a woman in a car wreck. Now, I do agree with Greenburg that Little wasn’t punished nearly enough by the courts (3 months in jail, 4 years probation) or the NFL (8 games). However, Little made a mistake as a result of poor judgment which had the unintended consequence of someone dying. I’m pretty sure he didn’t plan on killing anyone, but he did go to Tennessee so that isn’t a given. Vick intended to run a dog fighting ring. The only unintended part for him was getting caught and prosecuted. Pardon me if I seem a bit cynical about this miraculous transformation, but I find it hard to believe that someone who has been heavily involved in dog fighting for years would have a sudden epiphany that it was wrong.

Weekly News Report Part II

Lot of snake stories recently. Some poor schmuck wants to go flying in his plane and discovers a gray rat snake "licking" him. Now, I looked up this perverted snake, but I couldn't find anything about its tendency to "lick" things. Personally, I would have thrown it into the propeller. In Albany, two pythons got taken to the animal shelter after being spotted slithering down the street. Rest assured if I had been the one to spot an eight foot python in the middle of the road, the phone call would have been requesting someone to come out and pick up some roadkill. You might notice from the previous sentences that I'm not a big fan of snakes. In fact, I have no problem with the drunk Irishman (redundancy alert) biting the head off his girlfriend's pet snake. I don't know why the writer felt the need to mention he was drunk. He headbutted his girlfriend (twice) and ate her pet snake. Doing that while sober would have been news.

At least he didn't eat a puffer fish. In Thailand, some people are dying because potentially poisonous puffer fish is being sold as salmon. No mention whether or not it actually tastes like salmon. Just gives me another reason not to eat fish. The main reason being the taste. Secondary reason being the smell. I always liked what PJ O'Rourke wrote about fish in The Bachelor Home Companion. "You have to wonder about a food that everybody agrees is great except sometimes it tastes like what it is."

Speaking of tastes like what it is, some drunk Serb was found half-eaten in a bear cage at the zoo. No mention whether the bears claimed he tasted like chicken. And these bears probably don't crap in the woods.

There are certain momentous occasions where I remember where I was when I learned of something. On the personal side, I'll always remember where I was when I found out my grandfather died. Overall, I don't think I'll forget watching the second plane fly into the World Trade Center tower. I remember where I was when I found out about the Challenger exploding, but mainly because my junior high science teacher told us, and he had tried out for that teacher-in-space program. I even remember where I was when Magic Johnson announced he had AIDS. I was trying to take a nap on a lounge couch, but some jerkass friend of mine kept prattling on about how he would always remember where he was when he heard this which has caused me to remember it even though I really didn't care that much. That said, I can't believe a poll found that 60% of Americans remember where they were when they heard Princess Diana was dead. Brits I could understand. They are stupid about their royalty, but Americans? Why? She was either a harpy shrew who gained a loyal following strictly through a loveless marriage to some dorky prince. Or she was a beloved icon who used her position to engage in great works of charity (although it's easy to be charitable when you marry great wealth and don't have a real job). Either way, the basis of her celebrity is the fact that she married someone whose only basis for celebrity was the womb he fell out of. Sorry, just can't get worked up about it.

Speaking of Brits not pulling their weight, David Beckham is sitting out the LA Galaxy's next game because he's tired. Let's see. He joined the Galaxy over a month ago, and in that time, he's started five games and subbed about 20 minutes in two others. It's amazing he's survived. Oh, and the team only won one game. Really earning that $250 million.

In other sports news, the Texas Rangers scored 30 runs to beat the Baltimore Orioles by 27. Not surprising since the Rangers have Chuck Norris. It was the first time a team had scored 30 runs in over a hundred years, but I can't get too worked up about two crappy teams doing anything. The saddest thing was how stupid the save rule is in baseball. A relief pitcher got credit for a save by pitching the last three innings, even though he had a 10 run lead when he came in.

A Pennsylvania woman was charged with paying for hookers for her 12 year old nephew who apparently wasn't taking his father's death real well. Kind of makes the presents I used to get from my aunts seem kind of lame. A few things stood out in this story. One, they didn't identify his mother to protect his identity, but they put his aunt's name and picture in it. My guess is a lot of people who know her, know him. Second, she took him to two different places. Horny little bastard. Third, she had $80 for two hookers. To be honest, I don't really know the going rate, but when that first grade teacher got busted for prostitution in Lexington several years back, she was bringing a friend and the price was $360. So, either he was getting a child's discount or being taken to some skanks.

You know there was a time people considered Rosie O'Donnell "the queen of nice". Of course, some people thought she was a funny comedian. I never thought either was accurate, but seems to be some corroborating evidence that I was right about "the queen of nice" thing. It's an old article, but she told a cancer survivor that people who lie "get cancer". How inspiring. And as medically improbable as the old hairy palms diagnosis. Yet, people are surprised that Rosie can't get along with so many others.

Fortunately for the woman, she didn't live in England where they have some of the lowest cancer survival rates in Europe. Actually, the most interesting thing about the article was the fact that the writeup didn't mention the United States at all, but when you look at the chart, we have a higher survival rate for cancer than any European country, regardless of gender. Gee, I wonder if Michael Moore had that little nugget in Sicko.

When he read about Travis Henry having nine kids by nine different women, Shawn Kemp is believed to have said, "Damn, that's a lot of kids."

Weekly News Report

Should probably try to get as much on here before football season starts (Thursday Aug 30 UL beats down Murray State to open the college season). Once the pro season starts I'll have to spend too much time updating my semi-pornographic fantasy football site. But until then.....

Speaking of football, the Michael Vick story has almost come to a close (pending sentence). He entered a plea of guilty to conspiracy to run an interstate dogfighting ring. There were reports that he wouldn't confess to gambling or killing dogs. Except he did. Sort of indirectly. He can say all he wants that he didn't place bets or receive money from purses, but I think anyone not completely stupid (which does leave a lot of people out) sees that for the B.S. that it is. He admitted to bankrolling it (gee, I wonder if anyone pointed out that it was obvious Vick was the only person involved with enough money to run that operation?), so who really believes that he was putting up that kind of money with no expectation of a return on his investment? I can believe he's a poor businessman, but not so stupid that he didn't expect to make money on it. Actually, that makes him look worse. If he was getting money back, at least there would be a monetary factor. Without it, he's just getting his jollies with animal cruelty. It's obvious he's avoiding the gambling question in the hopes that the NFL won't suspend him for consorting with gamblers, but I have to think it's worse to finance an illegal gambling ring than to simply place a bet at one.

Yet, more stupids come out to (sort of) defend Vick. One schmuck is actually ripping the players union for not standing up more for Vick. I must have missed something. Vick's big problem wasn't an NFL suspension. It was a federal investigation. Apparently this doofus is unaware that unions typically don't get involved in non-work related criminal issues of its members. I'm sure every time some Ford assembly line worker gets drunk, beats his wife and molests the dog next door, the UAW shows up to defend him. I can't quite figure out the belief that the NFLPA should always be adversarial with the league. Considering the NFL is by far the most popular and revenue generating professional sport in country, cooperation seems to work. I think the union is smart enough to realize that damaging the image of the league by defending the occasional thug at the expense of other players just isn't smart. A thuggish image sure doesn't seem to have done the NBA any good.

Then there is the jerk-ass from the Atlanta NAACP. He thinks the NFL should let Vick back in once he serves his time. Actually, he goes beyond that as he thinks Vick's sponsors should stick with him. We've now reached a new level of stupid. I must have missed the amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing the right to play pro football. Oh, and sponsors should never take into account someone's image before letting them hawk their products. We also got the "hunting equivalent" argument. Now, I'm not a hunter, but I've known several and the point of hunting is normally to make a quick kill. It's a little different than putting two animals in a ring to maim and torture each other for my viewing enjoyment. The fun part of this was the national NAACP didn't quite agree which led an MSNBC moron to write a column about Vick splitting the black leadership. The fun part is the correction block where the writer mentions an earlier version linked to what was thought to be Al Sharpton's blog, but turned out to be a "hoax". Actually, it was a parody blog site (fellow bloggers on it included Kim Jong-il) which was very obviously a parody site, and the "post" was too ridiculous for anyone with any sense to believe. If I was that guy, I wouldn't go to work for a month.

Well, on to other stuff. A study just came out that says dinosaurs could outrun David Beckham. Can we get a dinosaur to run him down and eat him? That would certainly be more entertaining than soccer. Which in Brazil is a macho, straight sport according to a judge there. I'm not saying the guy is gay, but when you go by the name Richarlyson, questions could be asked. I think the important question from the article is "Should the fact that someone poses for gay magazines indicate possible homosexual tendencies?"

Another story got me excited when I read that women prefer cavemen, but then I found out that they were talking about guys who look like cavemen, not men who act like cavemen. Which reminded me of an older article where cavemen preferred blond women. The reason was because blond women were mutants. Brunettes, feel free to use that info.

Sadly for Big Jon, Jenna Jameson has announced her retirement from porno movies, and to prove it, she's had her breast implants removed. Not sure she's as interesting without the porn career. I guess I won't be buying the follow-up to How To Make Love Like A Porn Star (especially since I didn't buy the first book). Shouldn't that be a two line book? Lay on back. Open legs. Maybe she'll be replaced by China Barbie unless Mattel wins their lawsuit and she has to change her name. In the name of research, I took a look at her site, and she didn't look too much like Barbie. Or, fortunately, Chyna from the WWF whose foray into adult entertainment is most likely a crime against nature. I'll let others view it and decide while I avoid that video like the plague. One thing I noticed from the China Barbie article was she described herself as "cordial" which doesn't seem to be the best terminology to be used to entice people to your porno site. Actually, Barbie and porn should go together. Barbie gives girls an unrealistic idea about the female body. Porn gives them an unrealistic idea about the size of male genitalia. At least, that's what I always say.

Speaking of male genitalia, a festival dwarf in England glued his junk to a vacuum cleaner. That alone should tell the story, but it doesn't. He was embarrassed to go to the hospital with the vacuum cleaner stuck on his johnson. So, your act includes wearing a vacuum on your hog, but being seen at the hospital that way instead of at some wackjob festival is what's embarrassing? We must always protect the dignity of the dwarf humping the vacuum.

You're tax dollars at work. Well, not really. Federal wildlife people are spending $27 million to set up a habitat for the ivory billed woodpecker. That money is being spent even though the bird may not actually exist with only one possible sighting in three years. I would have thought they could find more by following the maniacal laughter, but maybe not. I guess I should be happy about one thing. God knows how much money they would be spending on this if they actually knew there were ivory billed woodpeckers out there.

Final thought for the day: "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

NFL News

Well, I wonder if any major pro football news hit the wire today. The Broncos traded an underachieving player to an underachieving team. By underachieving, I mean lousy. The Dolphins have picked Trent Green as their starting quarterback over some guy named Cleo Lemon who may or may not have a psychic hotline in the offseason. I'm sure the fact they gave up a draft pick and gave Green a $13.5 contract had nothing to do with the decision. The Rams haven't made a decision on their starting center.

Oh, some guy named Vick is planning to plead guilty to some dogfighting thing. To tell the truth, I was very curious how Vick would handle the plea offer. Common sense says take the plea. A bunch of dead dogs are dug up on your property and seven people are going to testify against you. Your only real shot of winning is to point out that the people testifying against you are scumbags. Unfortunately, some of them are long time friends, so it's hard to call them scumbags without people thinking you're a scumbag too. Especially when you really are a scumbag. So, take the plea and serve a couple of years instead of getting sentenced to a longer term when you are convicted.

So, why did it take so long to take the deal? Easy. With Vick, you've got the football contract issue. If he doesn't play this year due to a prison sentence, the Falcons can get signing bonus money back from him and void his contract. And that's just a start. Rumor has it that the feds offered a recommendation of 12 to 18 months if Vick pleads guilty, but the judge can make it longer, and word is the judge is a hard ass on sentencing. I could easily see an 18 month sentence which will kill two seasons of football. Add to it the almost certain year long suspension the NFL would give him, and you've lost three years of football for Vick. Considering the fact that Vick relies on his speed and athleticism for his career, a three year absence will hurt. Working out in prison normally consists of walking around an exercise yard, lifting weights or making weaker prisoners your bitch. He won't be able to work on his speed or passing, and he already sucks as a passer. And he'll probably take up smoking because that's prison currency. So, with his one "unique" abilities eroded by time and carcinogens, teams would be hesitant to sign him simply for football reasons.

So, why take the deal? Because he was going to lose the case, and if he didn't take the plea, they would have added more charges which would have most likely included gambling charges. Those would weigh more heavily with the NFL than dogfighting. Take the plea and act contrite. Hope the judge gives you a year or less. Hope the NFL runs your suspension concurrent with your prison time. Get out in time to sign a new contract before your speed goes and you have only your laughably inept passing ability to depend on. Plus, you are also rehabilitating your reputation. As others have noticed, Vick isn't just taking a plea, he's already accepted responsibility, so he's admitted to doing it. He's hoping the public will accept his contrition and give him a second chance. Public gives you a second chance, and teams won't be afraid to sign you.

Will it work? I really don't think so. For one, I think three years out of football is much more likely than one. It wouldn't surprise me if the NFL suspension is longer because Vick lied to the commissioner earlier this year by telling him he wasn't involved. Plus, running an illegal gambling ring really has to be seen as a major violation of the NFL's gambling policy. I also don't think forgiveness will be what Vick gets from the plea. In fact, I think it will be the opposite. If his agreement admits to killing under performing dogs, I think he will be toxic to any team when he gets out. Defenders won't be able to say he was screwed by the system. He admitted. I think he was highly overrated already. Add the declining skills and I can't see any team that wasn't absolutely desperate for a quarterback taking a chance. People love their dogs. Who is going to alienate a large chunk of their fan base for a quarterback with a career 53.8 completion percentage? PETA won't let it go. Vick's been their biggest fund raising tool ever. You'll have to hire extra security because of the nutsacks from the wackjob wing of the animal rights movement. They've attempted to firebomb eye doctors at UCLA for using animal tests to attempt to cure eye disease. What will they do to some guy killing dogs for fun and profit? I still can't believe someone would be dumb enough to risk a humongous contract just to fight dogs. There's dumb, moronic, stupid, incredibly stupid, completely retarded, but Vick has surpassed that level of brain dead.

Fortunately, Vick isn't the only NFL story out there. Personally, I would like to discuss how the Steelers will do this year under a new coach, how many Bengals will get arrested by week four, how many other pregnant chicks will claim Tom Brady is the father of their unborn child and will New England shills blame his paternity leave for the Patriots not winning the Super Bowl this year? Or I could write about how good my fantasy football team should be or how bad Phil's will be. Actually, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a huge hardcore fantasy football freak. Ask anyone in the league how I feel about the trophy that certain members of the league bought. I do like fantasy football, but I've discovered there are some really sick bastards out there involved in fantasy sports. According to an ESPN The Magazine article, there are at least four (pay) websites that will adjudicate disputes in a league. Obviously, the TRU Fantasy Football League does not need such a service because I rule with an iron hand, and I'm always right.

I had high hopes for the Monday Night Football broadcast when ESPN kicked Joe Theismann to the curb and brought in Ron Jaworski. Jaws has been fine, but unfortunately Tony Kornheiser is still in the booth. I really prefer my in game commentary to have a point and not sound like it's on a third grade level. Of course, ESPN screwed up the Monday Night countdown the same way. They got rid of loud, stupid and irritating Michael Irvin and replaced him with loud, stupid and irritating Keyshawn Johnson. Then they threw in Emmitt Smith who is apparently so dumb that he listed seventh year veteran Travis Henry as a rookie he thinks will make an impact.

Not that other networks are immune from gross stupidity. On NBC, Cris Collinsworth and Tiki Barber declared they could only come up with ten quarterbacks in the league that they would trade Eli Manning for. My first thought was they may have a point because the NFL is awash in mediocre quarterbacks. Then I started listing ones I would definitely trade Manning for. Off hand, there's the other Manning, Brady, Roethlisberger, Palmer, Brees, Bulger, Hasselbeck (Matt version), and Rivers. That's eight off the top of my head. Vince Young and Matt Leinart have more upside, so throw them in. That's ten. So, does that mean they are right? Not really. To begin with, they were defending Eli by saying there were only ten, but he was a number one overall pick which means there shouldn't be ten players who are worth trading for him. Plus, when you talk trade, you have to factor other things in. Chad Pennington, Alex Smith, JP Losman and even Rex Grossman are on about the same level as Eli so the Giants wouldn't be willing to admit a mistake and trade him away for them. Plus, guys like Brett Favre and Steve McNair are probably better than Eli, but their age means they aren't tradeworthy for a quarterback Eli's age. Hell, I would throw Jon Kitna and Trent Green in that category. So, it's still safe to safe Eli sucks as a number one pick.

Random News & Notes - Completely Random

French commandos stormed the compound of some gay pedophile cult to rescue a 12 year old boy that the nutsacks thought was the next messiah. The head boy-humper was on the run for three years even though he lived in a compound on an island the size of Louisville. Oh well, at least France can claim their first military victory since the Franco-Austrian War of 1859.

I really hope John Edwards manages to stay in the Democratic primary race. Everyone else running for president this year (for next year) is just doing your standard flip-flopping, but Edwards' level of hypocrisy is simply astounding as well as entertaining. I thought a man who just built a mega-mansion declaring poverty as his main issue was pretty bad, but Edwards recently challenged other Democratic contenders to give back any money they got from anyone employed by Fox News Channel's parent company New Corp (because Edwards wants to be president for all Americans). Yet, Edwards refuses to give back the $800,000 he received from HarperCollins for a book he "wrote". Why do I find this hypocritical? HarperCollins is a part of News Corp. Apparently, in the fantasy world that Edwards resides in, $1000 from low level Fox employees into campaign coffers is tainted, but high six figures directly from the company into his pocket is perfectly fine. Does he have any shame at all? Actually, I already knew he didn't.

Why is Flavor Flav suddenly so popular again?

After reading this article, I have decided to become an environmentalist. This guy is claiming that walking to the store causes more global warming than driving. To be honest, I find this as full of crap as most environmental hysteria, but anything that says I should be a couch potato is OK in my book.

Tucson is experimenting with a program to pay high school students $25 a week to stay in school. And study some. However, as much as they've dumbed down high school, it shouldn't be hard to make some coin. This program is borderline stupid. By borderline stupid, I mean completely retarded. If these students aren't smart enough to figure out finishing high school is in their best interest, too bad. The world needs ditch diggers. I have a better idea. Fine students who drop out. They pissed away a publicly paid education, so they should pay it back.

Pearl Jam is upset that AT&T "censored" some anti-George Bush lyrics on a cybercast of their concert, and they blame media consolidation. You know, I might take their complaints about media consolidation more seriously if it wasn't for the fact that they were being sponsored and broadcast by AT&T which is one of the largest media companies in the country. Or I might take them more seriously if Eddie Vedder wasn't a whiny, pretentious prick.

A Minnesota man paid an unlicensed surgeon to cut off his balls because they pained him. Ouch. One thing confuses me. It says that regular medical people wouldn't remove them. Why not? I've always thought that sex change operations should be illegal, because they are doing complete body mutilation for something that is basically a mental problem. Doctors are willing to do that, but they won't remove rather small, unnecessary (he's 62) body parts to relieve chronic pain. Does that make sense?

A British teacher's union wants Youtube shut down because of cyber-bullying. Let's see. Google paid well over $1 billion for Youtube, and some whiny teachers think it should be shut down? Does going into the education field kill brain cells? Okay, cyber-bullying is not a good thing, but shutting down a billion dollar company will do what? Probably make kids go back to old fashioned bullying where wimps get their ass beat at school.

Maybe they should be spending more time checking on important things. Like whether the pipes are mixed up and sending toilet water to the sinks. It's not used toilet water, but in Japan, there are different grades of water and water to be flushed will make you sick.

I saw one of the oddest things. Bravo was showing Eddie Murphy: Raw, and it was edited for language. Which means every third word was silent.

I didn't like Tom Daschle when he was in the Senate, and I certainly don't like him now that he's a lobbyist. However, his latest email decrying Republican attempts to win Tim Johnson's Senate seat is pretty galling. Yes, it's sad that Johnson almost died from a brain hemorrhage, but it's ludicrous to think Republicans shouldn't run a candidate for his seat because of it. I've never heard the theory that illness protects a seat. I guess the Republicans shouldn't run anyone against Robert Byrd because he's old and could die soon. Actually, Johnson has missed the past eight months, and who knows if he'll fully recover. It seems a worse thing to do would be running someone in poor health just to protect a seat.

Microsoft is using a hot model as a poster girl in an effort to change the image of the computer industry from "geeky" to "sexy" (take my word for it, it ain't happening). Their concern is that not enough students are going into computer fields, and the reason they give is that it's "not one of the sexier professions." Yeah, that's the reason. I call BS on this one. People in Australia aren't going into IT professions because those jobs are being sent to low cost countries. Microsoft is probably just covering themselves with this little stunt. They can say they need to outsource because there aren't any IT graduates available, and then they'll send more jobs to China and India to save a buck while Bill Gates pontificates about other things being more important than money. Kind of funny about India. The big complaint there is western big box retail stores moving into the country and hurting local stores. Guess they didn't realize global markets run both ways.

British fire chiefs are defending their actions in responding to an emergency call to rescue a pet duck from a drain. Now, I'm not going to be heartless and say they should have let it die (or killed and eaten it) to save resources, but why the Hell did it take three crews and a rescue boat to get a duck out of a drain?

I heard a little blurb on the news that the Counting Crows recently got back together. I'll be honest. I wasn't that big a fan, and in fact, Mr. Jones is the only song of their's that I remember. And as far as songs titled Mr. Jones, I would have to definitely put their's behind The Maverick's and quite possibly The Psychedelic Furs'. So, the only interest I had in the story was no interest until they mentioned that the Counting Crows would be playing Farm Aid this year. Farm Aid is still around? Can someone tell me why a fund raiser is still needed for one of the most heavily subsidized industries that has been making record income in recent years? How do farmers go under? They can get all kinds of federal money if something goes wrong even if they have subsidized insurance. They can get federal drought aid without having a drought, government handouts even when profitable and free money without actually planting anything. So, why are a bunch musicians wanting me to donate to help someone in an industry with an average household income over $80,000? Funny thing is they aren't. Instead, now they spend the bulk of their money on other things like "teaching urbanites about where food comes from." That's stupid. Food comes from Kroger. So, is Willie Nelson singing "Whiskey River" and following up with an in-depth lecture on crop rotation? Actually, with Willie Nelson fans, their main agricultural interest does not involve an edible crop. Another thing they are pushing is organic farming which means they are taking sides between different types of farming. Certainly they wouldn't pit farmers against each other. Would they? I doubt this is included in the brochure.

A woman auditioning for American Idol went into labor while waiting her turn. Bet she hit the high notes. I bet it sucked to be in line next to her when her water broke.

Too bad. The Weekly World News is halting its print edition. It was at least as accurate as Reuters.

A man is suing McDonald's after he became sick due to eating a Quarter Pounder. Not for the obvious reason that McDonald's has really lousy food, but because they didn't hold the cheese that he was allergic to. Now, on one hand I think McDonald's should help pay some medical costs because he did ask them to hold the cheese. However, $10 million? Give me friggin break. His attorney said he told three people he was allergic to cheese, but two of them either never see the food (pay window) or get it after it's been wrapped up (pick-up window). The best line was that his client "took five independent steps to make sure that thing had no cheese on it". Interesting. So far, I see three steps, but his client seemed to leave out a major step. How about opening the bun and looking to see if there is cheese on it? If a bite of cheese puts you halfway into the grave, doesn't it seem stupid that you wouldn't check the burger yourself ? You're putting your life in the hands of zit faced high school dropouts (it is in West Virginia).

50 Cent says if his latest album doesn't outsell Kanye West's new one, he'll stop recording solo albums. Why not just pop a cap in his ass?

Random News & Notes - The Religion of Peace

I mentioned last month a little extortion attempt by Libya over a death penalty imposed on some medical people who they convicted of bogus charges of giving kids AIDs. Well, France stepped in and made a deal to help Libya with nukes. Let me repeat that. France is helping Libya develop a nuclear reactor, because they are unconcerned about Arab countries with nukes. Friggin genius. Oh, and they're selling some missiles to them too. It worked as the medics were released to Bulgaria. And yet, that wasn't enough as Libya tried further blackmail on Bulgaria for pardoning them. It was almost like Willie Horton except these people weren't murderers and rapists. Anyway, Bulgaria capitulated by forgiving a $57 million debt Libya owed them. My guess is that this was what Libya wanted all along. Why do I believe this? Gaddafi's son has come out and admitted that HIV cases preceded the medics arrival. And followed their arrest. Basically said they were innocent. Oh, he also said they were tortured, but not that badly. And he doesn't think anything will be done to Libya, and he's probably right. The EU has already shown they won't stand up to a tin-pot dictator who spells his name about 23 different ways.

I guess we should be happy that Gaddafi is willing to settle for some racketeering rather than overt terrorism. One who tried, the shoe bomber Richard Reid, had some jailhouse letters made public. I was surprised his father released the letters to the press until I noticed that Reid apparently tried to console his old man on the death of his sister. Reid did it by telling Daddy that dear old auntie is burning in Hell. Oh, and Reid also expects Allah to bless him in the near future. Funny, Allah certainly didn't seem to be on his side when tried to blow up a plane. I would think only a small "blessing" would be needed to light a fuse in your shoestrings. Also, Allah seems to have cursed him with an unnatural level of ugliness.

It's probably a good thing that Reid was caught with explosives in his shoe or else the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), a noted ally of Islamic terrorists everywhere, would be campaigning for his release. Oh wait, two guys were arrested in South Carolina with pipe bombs in their trunk, and CAIR called it racial profiling. Let's see. Two guys named Mohammed and Yousef. From a college awash in Islamic fundamentalism. With pipe bombs and a bogus story about what they were. And another roommate who has since fled the country. Yeah, nothing suspicious here. Just how far in the sand can some people stick their head?

It's amazing that local police were able to make this capture. After all, isn't that why airport security was federalized? To make it more professional? So that some guy can't bring a monkey into the country hidden in his hat? I think the best line is that people were asking if he knew he had a monkey in his hair. Actually, he's probably kicking himself. If he can sneak a monkey out of South America, through customs and onto a connecting flight without being caught, he could have brought in some coke. Actually, this wasn't the most depressing recent story about airport security. In Charlotte, a guy wandered past the airport screeners. And somehow (and I can't fathom how) ten planes managed to leave before security started looking for him. But there is good news. He may not have had evil intent. He might have just been confused. Actually, that's bad news. If someone gets through security by accident, how are these nimrods going to stop someone putting in an effort to sneak in?

Not that all local authorities are doing that swift of a job. At least in Oakland. Not that I would expect anything different. A local newspaper editor was murdered by the handyman of Your Black Muslim Bakery because the newsman ate too many baguettes. Or was checking their finances or something. Even better, everyone seemed to know these people were running amok, but it took a newspaperman getting assassinated in the street for anything to be done. Not too surprising considering they were based in the American equivalent of a third world country - Oakland. Really not surprising since they were under the patronage of Mayor Ron "former congressional wackjob" Dellums and Barbara "present congressional wackjob" Lee.

A New York City principal was fired for sprinkling chicken blood on the school in some Santeria cleansing ritual. I'm assuming that it wasn't part of a cookout. Certainly makes sense to let her go except NYC is also establishing an Arabic public school. Supposedly it is simply a school that will deal with Arabic language and culture and not Islam. Why do I find this hard to believe? Muslim activist as principal, religious advisory committee, internships with Muslim attorneys as a goal, an attempt to have halal meals (sanctioned under Islamic law) served. How could I have been so wrong about the noble purposes here? So, one principal gets fired for a Santeria ceremony, but a religious activist is given her own school? No wonder Johnny can't read, but can probably make a pipe bomb. Fortunately, the jihadi principal did resign, but only after it came out that an organization she was affiliated with was selling T-shirts glorifying Palestinian terrorism. But the school will still open so Johnny can learn about the 72 virgins he'll get when he reaches blessed martyrdom.

Random News & Notes - Booze & Sex Edition

Well, Barry Bonds set the all time home run record. I thought there was a load of irony when the record tying home run was served up by a pitcher once suspended for steroid use. However, the record breaker had even more irony as baseball commissioner Bud Selig wasn't able to be there. Why? He was meeting with George Mitchell who is leading baseball's investigation into steroid use in baseball.

It's nice to see Lexington's airport make national news as a flight attendant was booted from a flight because she was blotto. A couple of things perturbed me about this story. One was some passengers who decided not to fly on other planes because of the incident. A drunk stewardess was enough to make them question the idea of manned flight? Another was the flight being canceled because they didn't have enough crew members. She's a flight attendant. She hands out peanuts. "Oh no. The pilot and co-pilot are dead. At least we still have the stewardess." I did learn one thing after seeing her picture. Small flights always get the ugly flight attendants.

Now, a heartwarming story involving drunks. A bunch of bar flies chipped in to buy their one legged buddy a new scooter after he was run over by a horse drawn carriage hijacked by some drunk chick. No, I'm not making that up.

And in another booze related story, a woman has been charged with a crime because her 18 year old son was drinking beer at her home. Let me point out, this wasn't for providing alcohol to a minor. This was for letting a minor drink at her home. Let's cut the crap. By every other definition, her son is an adult. He can vote, go to war and most stupidly, be tried as an adult for "underaged" drinking. I've always thought the 21 year old drinking age was dumb when the age of adulthood for everything else is 18, and this does nothing but reinforce it.

Amtrak now has a special service that gives certain passengers a $100 credit worth of alcohol on overnight trips. I want to know when the government is going to start subsidizing my drinking.

Rumors came out that in the past astronauts flew on shuttle missions drunk or hungover. I have my doubts about how much there really is to the story especially since they don't mention whether it's the pilots or just crew members. Charles Krauthammer has the best defense of them as he points out that being strapped to a giant roman candle would make a lot of people want a drink. I would just add that astronauts routinely have to spend time in space with Russian cosmonauts and must keep proper standards.

Someone played a pretty cruel joke (or didn't want to use their own picture) by taking a photo from a site set up for a missing woman and using it on dating sites for seniors and lesbians. So, either they are dickheads or ugly losers. However, some good did come from this. Using one of the links, I hooked up with an 82 year old woman.

You know, I've been drunk. And bored. And horny. Sometimes all at once. But having sex with a traffic sign would be pretty far down the list of things I want to do.

While rapidly falling, making out with a topless Britney Spears would still be on the doable list (after making her gargle with bleach). I'm just curious why Us Weekly thought her playing topless truth or dare was front page info. That's pretty mundane for her. In fact, she'd probably have to do something pretty extreme like trying to mount Michaelangelo's David (or the Washington Monument) to regain my interest.

Rosanne Barr says an intern was responsible for some indelicate remarks posted on her blog. Then she said a sex tape was stolen. I just threw up in my mouth. On further reflection, this has got to be a joke (please God, make it be a joke). I wouldn't put it past someone to have sex with Roseanne Barr (there are freaks everywhere), but I can't imagine they would allow their shame to be taped.

Singer Ricky Martin has announced that he wants to adopt a bunch of children. "One from each continent" even. How.....trendy. I guess he doesn't want to start a family the old fashioned way because that would mean touching icky women.

Now, my job isn't preparing trysts for pandas, but if it was, I would probably check to make sure the daddy panda had a penis before shipping it to another country to knock up a female panda. Sure, putting two females together might allow them to have a little drunken weekend lesbo fun that they'll later blame on college experimentation, but when your object is to make little pandas, it probably would work better with pandas of the opposite sex. I did notice in the article that "the penis of an adult male panda is only about 3 cm long" which makes me feel better. Because it would explain the mistake, not because I have a..........forgot that last remark. It's an interesting biological factoid, and probably explains why breeding pandas is hard. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Some good news for whoremongering tourists. The World Famous Mustang Ranch has reopened Nevada for a little legal prostitution. Get a little nookie (and probably a t-shirt) on your next vacation. Of course, I always liked stories about the Mustang Ranch because the 1990 IRS seizure proved my basic belief in government bureaucratic competence. They couldn't run a whorehouse. One concern I would have about the re-opening of the place is that it mentioned a hooker returning who worked there previously. It was closed in like 1997. New wallpaper. New furniture. Old whores. Not that I would go there. I'm too cheap to begin with, let alone with a "name brand" premium.

Not like Pikeville where a guy could get a 15 year old by paying some woman's bills. Can't really figure out how the woman could control access to jailbait since there doesn't seem to be a family basis. Further study indicates that prostitution may not really be the cause as the man says he was banging the teenager, but not paying for it. Which actually seems to be true since the guy is being charged with third degree rape which is simply statutory rape. I assume forcible rape would be the crime if he was paying an adult for "access" to a minor. So, it could just be a typical Eastern Kentucky dating situation. Well, not that typical since they don't mention the dude being related to the 15 year old.

Bridges

Considering a major bridge collapsed during rush hour traffic, it's a miracle the confirmed dead only number five and the missing could be as low as eight. Of course, a collapsed bridge causes the press to go into overdrive to let us know that all of our bridges are about to collapse by stating that most of the bridges are "structurally deficient" just as the Minnesota bridge was. I will give credit as some actually pointed out that "structurally deficient" does not mean the bridge is ready to drop (this bridge has been structurally deficient for 17 years). It means that there might be some flaws as little as bent guardrails. However, a lot of people just read the headline and don't go into the body of the story so they may not even drive on New Circle Road because overpasses are bridges.

On my drive to Missouri, I had to cross an Ohio River bridge, make an immediate left and cross a Mississippi River bridge. Was I concerned? Not really. Mainly, my airplane crash theory that it's safer to fly right after a plane crash because there is more focus on staying safe. After another plane goes in, do you think some grease monkey might be a little lax about tightening every bolt? Plus, it's not like bridges are dropping all over the country. I tried to think about recent bridge collapses and could only come up with one in Mobile and another in Oklahoma. I went looking for others and found that there have been more than a few collapses in this country, but there hasn't been one since 1989 that involved a bridge that wasn't hit by a barge or tornado.

So, what does it say about our 'crumbling infrastructure"? Maybe it's not so crumbling. So, you can feel relatively secure driving across bridges. Well, unless some barge captain drunk on vodka and bilge water plows into the pilings. Then you might want to take an alternate route. Does this mean things are fine? Of course not. Crap gets old and needs to be maintained or replaced. And yet, in one of the big ironies of life, the Minneapolis bridge was under repair when it fell. And there is some belief that the construction could be a contributing factor in the collapse. So, in spite of maintenance being done, a very rare bridge collapse occurred. What's the solution everyone is calling for? Blowing wads of cash......I mean investing in our infrastructure.

So, is that the answer? Probably not. The government has shown time and again that throwing money at a problem doesn't work. Why won't it work? To begin with, replacing a bridge isn't easy. The Minneapolis replacement bridge is expected to be finished in late 2008, and that's being fast tracked. That's sixteen months for a bridge when they already have some essential parts like river pilings and access ramps. Try starting from scratch. Louisville has been trying to get new Ohio River bridges for years, and they still haven't broken ground. You have to find a location (the old bridge has to stay in service until the new one is built), do environmental impact studies, use eminent domain to steal the land on the riverbanks, build access to it. Not surprising that long term plans are made for bridges. Hell, maintenance can be a bitch. It's going to take $50 million and ten years just to get a bridge painted in Louisville.

Plus, government is not the most efficient managers of money. In fact, they suck. Some people have complained about priorities because Minnesota approved funding for a new baseball stadium, but didn't fix the bridge. Please. As a rule, I oppose building baseball stadiums because it's baseball and I don't like it. However, the ballpark was funded with a sales tax increase which is separate from road funding. It's highly unlikely the money would have been used for (more) bridge repairs. As Thomas Sowell points out, transportation money is routinely spent on other crap because it will get politicians headlines. The use of earmarks in transportation bills has exploded. Yet, check what some of them are for. Bike trails and recreation centers.

However, truth be known, stupid transportation spending priorities aren't just about headlines. One of the most notorious transportation plans in American history was Boston's Big Dig. Massive cost overruns, leaking tunnels, dead people. I heard the project came about because a transportation commissioner in Boston didn't like walking under an elevated highway to get to his favorite restaurant. Always a sound basis for a $15billion project. Then there was my own personal Hell when I was in college. Whenever I traveled from Kentucky to Maryland, I had to drive through West Virginia, and every year, they seemed to be repaving I-64 between Huntington and Charleston. Every year. Either they were incompetent in the first (second, third) re-paving or the King of Pork, Robert "KKK" Byrd, was again siphoning federal dollars into his personal welfare state. Yet, when I went to watch Louisville play the WVU Brokeback Mountaineers in Morgantown two years ago, they were re-paving I-64 between Huntington and Charleston. Again.

So, why do you have "bridges to nowhere" and constant re-paving of West Virginia goat trails? Earmarks and influence. Ted "National Embarrasment" Stevens of Alaska and Byrd have both been in the Senate since the War of 1812 which means they hold senior positions in appropriations. And neither has any shame about using their influence for wasteful boondoggles. It's not just directed spending through earmarks. You think the bureaucrats who spend the rest of the money don't know who writes their budget? Yet, a lot of the earmarks get appropriated, but don't get spent because local governments don't think they are important enough to add their share of the funding. So, you have funding priorities based on vanity projects or having Senators older than gravel. Until that changes, any new money appropriated will just be wasted.

This Week In Sports

Barry Bonds ties Hank Aaron's home run record, and short of his massive steroid enlarged head suddenly exploding, he'll probably break it soon. That will further the debate how Bonds is perceived by history - as great, but misunderstood ballplayer or the truth, a complete ass who set the record thanks to performance enhancing drugs. Taking the false side was Todd Boyd and I found his column quite amazing. He's arguing that Aaron is "hatin'" on Bonds by not showing up for the record breaking hit. Apparently, Aaron doesn't approve of the hip-hop generation. Come again? Oddly enough, Bonds is not usually the athlete I think of when I think hip-hop. Actually, I don't think of too many baseball players when I think hip-hop. Granted, I'm sure Aaron is completely devastated that the people who made Flavor Flav into a cultural icon don't look up to him or that a Gucci loving "hip-hop professor" at a film school wants to take away his Ghetto Pass.

Let's face facts. I didn't need one of Bonds' former teammates to say it's hard to dispute that Bonds cheated. It's obvious. I hear the silly argument that steroids won't help you hit a fastball. That's true. I'll give Bonds that he was always a good hitter, but there's a difference between hitting well and crushing homeruns. It would be easy enough to look at his connection to BALCO or the fact that he's become much larger. But let's look at his stats. Bonds has hit at least 45 home runs in six season. Five of which came at the age of 35 or older, and while playing in a park that is considered unfriendly to left handed hitters. Common sense tells you that is highly unlikely. Ironically, the pitcher who gave up the record tying home run was once suspended as a minor leaguer for using performance enhancing drugs. I guess he regrets going off the junk.

I'm trying to figure out something in golf. Tiger Woods won the latest golf tournament and the big story was that he was facing Rory Sabbatini who infamously said at the Wachovia Championship that "Woods looked beatable as ever". Supposedly, Woods winning really showed Sabbatini how wrong he was. Of course, the Wachovia was in May and was the last time Woods had won until Sunday. Yeah, Woods sure showed Sabbatini that he was still capable of winning a tournament every three months.

Apparently, scumbag nee Titans' cornerback Pacman Jones has signed with TNA Wrestling while serving his year long suspension from the NFL. Sure, when you're trying to clean up your image, getting involved in a pseudo-sport awash with drugs and steroids is the way to go. Of course, maybe Jones figures his transgressions don't look so bad when compared to Chris Benoit. I thought up a good gimmick for him, but Doink the Clown was already taken.

Michael Vick got another celebrity endorsement recently. Fellow overrated quarterback Donovan McNabb followed the Vick party line that he's being taken advantage of by his friends. Sure, just because (as I pointed out before) it's highly unlikely an operation of this scale could have been paid for by any of the people involved not named Vick, but I've never said McNabb was too bright. Come to think of it, I don't know anyone who has. I did find a video of an animal fight. Word is that Vick had 20 large on the black dog.

Steve Spurrier is pissed at the University of South Carolina's admissions office for not letting in a couple of recruits. I've got to side with Spurrier on this one. How do the Gamecocks expect to compete with in the SEC if they don't let the dumbasses in? What's next? Boosters not giving money to players under the table?

Proving once again that Youth Sports are constantly run by morons, I give you American Legion baseball from Washington. Two teams were forced to forfeit their games because they had screen printed American Legion logos instead of patches. To begin with, there seems to be some confusion about what happened. Best I can tell is the league commissioner first said it was OK for them to play. Then he made them forfeit the game because the other team protested. Except the other team protested at the commissioner's insistence. Which means the commissioner is either senile or a dick. Considering the two teams were allowed to play even though they knew about the patches, I'm guessing dick. To be honest, what really gets me is that they made the teams forfeit games over a uniform violation. Not a fine. Not a warning. A forfeit. Real mature.

Speaking of youth sports, cheerleaders from two Texas high schools got into a "scuffle" at a Texas State U. cheerleader camp. Actually, from the sound of it, one group went looking for a throw down with a group on another floor. Throw in some lingerie and pillows and we got pay-per-view. Oh wait, they were high schoolers. Forget what I said before.

One heck of a wreck at the latest IRL race in Michigan. Mr. Ashley Judd (the Scot with the Italian name) got airborne, flipped upside down and wrecked to the point I assumed he was dead. He wasn't. And yet, after the race, the story is getting back to Mrs. MeMeMe herself, Danica Patrick. While running in third place, her back tire went flat causing a late pit stop which led to a 7th place finish. Yet, she insists (along with her media enablers) that it was her race to win. Interesting theory, because she was in third place with 14 laps left, not first. In front of her were her teammates Marco Andretti and Tony Kanaan so she wasn't going get help from behind. She had taken the lead earlier in the race when Andretti pitted, but she was behind him again which is a good indication that getting by him wasn't all that likely. Considering Kanaan is a much better driver than Patrick, I have my doubts that she would have been able to pass him even if she got by Andretti. At least in her pathetic whining, she agreed with me when she said, "But we didn't win the race and it's frustrating. It's not often you get eight out of 10 good guys out of the race and leave the rest." Pretty much what I said a long time ago. She could eventually win, but only if all the top drivers wrecked. She almost got that, but unfortunately for her, one of the top drivers was still ahead of her.

Actually, this race became what is now the norm for Patrick. She doesn't win, claims she should have and then blames (take your pick): God, fate, her crew, Dan Wheldon. Ironically, she's blaming Dan Wheldon for the big wreck in this last race, but taking out a good chunk of the drivers helped her out. She should thank him. If I didn't know any better, I would think she's a bitch. Oh wait, I do think she's a bitch. However, as I mentioned before, sportswriters are so politically correct that they give her a pass on everything. Of course, this PC behavior does lead to some amusing stories. I was reading this NASCAR column by Lee Spencer. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong at first. Other than the fact that she was bragging about open wheel racing's diversity over NASCAR's because black driver Lewis Hamilton won on the Formula One circuit, and apparently, she is unaware that Wendell Scott was a black stock car driver at the highest level over 40 years ago or that three women drove in NASCAR's first sanctioned race at Daytona in 1949. Definitely give her the NASCAR beat. No, what got me about the article was the fact that she didn't seem to want to mention the ethnicity of Hamilton which means if you don't follow open wheel racing, you had to check elsewhere to find out he was black. Why? I believe it is because African-American is the only PC term sportswriters can use for black, but the problem is Hamilton is from England so African-American doesn't really work. In fact, African-American as the "correct" term for black is so prevalent, ESPN had to print a correction because one of their morning updates said Hamilton was the first African-American to win a F1 race. They had to correct the fact that he isn't an American.