Sex, Politics & Weiners

Ah, those politicians and their inability to keep it in their pants. Some big sex scandals. Let's jump right in with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now, I guess you could say this isn't really a political scandal as much as Hollywood decadence. After all, Arnold fathered an illegitimate child with the maid fourteen years ago. Long before he became governor of California. Then he was out of office (and apparently out of politics) when it came out what had happened. But I think I'll talk about it anyway because the woman he knocked up was kind of ugly. Which leads to fun discussions about the fact that apparently those are the kind of women that Arnold liked. Ugly chicks. Because he doesn't want to chance them being prettier than he is. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I think it was less because they were easier and so flattered enough to be boned by a wealthy, famous person that they were willing to keep it a secret. After all, this woman hid a love child for over a decade. And continued to be his maid when she could have earned some boucoup child support.

That said, I don't quite have much respect for Arnold anymore. I wasn't surprised this came out. After all, there have been rumors about him for a long time. A man seen as a serial groper would also seem the type to bang the maid, impregnate her and do nothing about it. And I'm not really buying the story that Arnold was unaware until Maria Shriver figured it out. There seemed to be a bit of a resemblance. So at the very least, he should have strongly suspected. Should have suspected enough to maybe ask. Would that have been too hard? Shriver and everyone else had an excuse to be in denial, but Arnold had a little more info on it. Namely, he knew he was banging the maid. And let's look at the scenario. You're doing the Mexican maid with the Mexican husband. She turns up pregnant. The boy has blonde hair and blue eyes just like an Austrian child might have. Just like you. And even though the boy is around quite a bit, you never suspect? Nope. Not gonna believe it. If Arnold never asked, it's because he didn't want to know. And that is why he has lost my respect (which I'm sure is crushing him). If he had any inkling (and he had to have) that child was his, he should taken responsibility for it. For God's sake, at least stop making the mother of your child be your actual maid.

Now, I don't care for children. They are disgusting creatures that cost money and don't really produce any economic benefit. Well at least for me. But, that child is about the only I feel sorry for in the whole saga. Well, Arnold's other kids are bystanders who have to suffer the family embarrassment. Actually, I'm kind of glad the maid continued working for the last fourteen years. Something wrong with being monetarily rewarded for sleeping with a married man. I can't even feel sorry for Maria Shriver. There have been too many stories and rumors for her to act like she didn't suspect his infidelity. And defend him to the last breath in his gubernatorial race which makes me believe she was okay as long as he was going to get political power in California. Then it blew up in their face. But why should she have been surprised about it. She's a Kennedy (and made her career off that). That is a family almost proud of their caddish behavior with women. Only an idiot like Rosie O'Donnell would think Arnold doesn't fit in with that Kennedy legacy. Arnold may have been boning the help, but unlike Shriver's cousin Michael, he didn't start when she was 14. But you might point out a person can't choose their family, but I was about to vomit every time I read a news excerpt that mentioned her recent rough times included the death of her "beloved" uncle Ted. Yeah. Old Uncle Teddy. He knew how to treat women right. Drown 'em.

Actually, the most fun with this type of story is they do news roundups on the all day news stations and need filler so they show clips from other news shows. Not real I consider The View a news story but I caught a clip of Barbara Walters asking why men can't keep their pants zipped up. Would that be the same Barbara Walters who once had an affair with a married man? A married man who also happened to be a sitting Senator? I think she should be able to answer that question pretty easily. Because sluts like her put out for them.

But the Schwarzenegger story came out pretty quickly and then kind of died since he was out of office and had no immediate projects. But then came Anthony Weiner. I was so sad when he resigned over this because he was truly the gift that kept on giving. A college coed gets a picture of an underwear-clad erect penis sent from a Congressman's twitter account which he follows with a post that he was hacked. The regular media report it as a hacking even though Weiner does not go to the authorities about this federal crime because he doesn't want to waste the police's time. Others don't think that isn't the real reason (not helped when Weiner is willing to waste the police's time running off a reporter). Weiner says he is done talking about it. Then he really begins to talk about it. Always smart to lose your cool and call a reporter a jackass. I love that video clip. The best part how Weiner refuses to give a simple yes/no answer, but keeps trying to tell this analogy about hecklers in a crowd (I bet he spent at least two hours in front of a mirror the night before practicing that exact speech as a default answer to any question). I think he got mad because after all that hard work, they correctly understood it was irrelevant to the question of whether or not a married Congressman was sending dic-pics to college girls and wanted a real answer.

Then he is forced to admit it because as it always seems to happen when a sex story breaks (think Tiger Woods), more women come out of the woodwork. With more than a simple underwear shot. Some was pretty explicit. And so soon after his marriage. Even then he didn't want to resign. Probably because he has no skills or ability for gainful employment that doesn't include political connections. Which may be as pathetic as sending dick pics across twitter. But he eventually resigned. And the best part of that article is reading that Bill Clinton is livid at Weiner's behavior. Seriously? Bill Clinton? Mad at someone messing around on his wife? But what may have made Weiner resign? You may want to scroll down in his initial press conference admitting to his deeds. Where he says the women were all of age - "at least to the best of my knowledge." Well, except that 17 year old high school girl that Weiner was sending direct messages to. Oh, they all say there was nothing explicit in the messages. Sure, because Weiner would never do anything reckless like that. But the fact that he was emailing a high schooler was a bit too much. So he resigned.

What made this most interesting to me was how the press behaved. I have seen many people (usually celebs or sports people) who put something indelicate on their twitter feed and them claim they were hacked. No one ever believed them. Yet, when Weiner said it, it was taken as gospel. Or they attacked Andrew Breitbart for reporting it (Cenk Uygur was my favorite because it was all so wrong). I even saw some reporters on a roundtable saying the fact that Breitbart first reported the twitter pic was a reason not to report on it. Sorry. That's complete crap. The moment Weiner tweeted that he had been hacked, there was a story there. Either a congressman was sending pictures of his junk to college girls online or a congressman's account was hacked. Both would be stories.

But once it became obvious that something was going on, we got the excuses. The first was "It's his personal life, so it doesn't matter as long as he does a good job. And we only reported on Republican sex scandals because they were hypocrites unlike Democrats who don't preach family values." Well, a good job is subjective but for all the talk about Weiner being a rising star, he wasn't known for much legislatively. I follow politics as much as anyone so I knew who he was, but not for any piece of legislation that he pushed. Even his wiki page lists some things he was for, but he didn't sponsor or write the big stuff. Well, except trying to get more supermodels to work in New York. That's important work there. Weiner's value to his party was based on him being an ass. He could rant and rave on the floor of Congress or rip Republicans on news shows and get away with it because he's a New Yorker and they're rude anyway. But that's why Democrats finally told him to go. He was useless to them. After getting caught doing this, who is going to take him seriously after that? And no hypocrisy? Yeah. I remember all those ads the Democrats ran opposing family values. Anthony Weiner's campaign bio listed "cybersexing with strange women I meet online." And his wedding vows ended with "and I promise to only commit adultery with women I meet online and won't start until next month" (and for those who believe it's not adultery, try running it past a divorce judge because it counts). I'd be pissed if I was a Democrat. Because they seem so grumpy, but also because the press is telling them that they are immoral. All Congressmen play up their happy family image. And they don't have a private life. Not in this sense anyway. If their constituents are okay with sexual indiscretions, that's fine. I personally find it rather bizarre that I'm being told that a member of Congress is being held to a lower level of behavior than I would expect from a local school principal. But that's up to them. However, telling me it's not a story is crap. I want to know if my Congressman is messing around like this.

After all, if doing a few porno movies means you can't teach anymore, then why should you be a Congressman? Teaching means you can screw up five or six classes worth of people a year, but a Congressman can screw up a lot more. Actually I don't see a problem with former porn people teaching at the lower levels of education which may seem counter intuitive. As I've said before, elementary school children shouldn't even know what that means. Obviously at the high school level, how much respect can a high school teacher get if her students know she did porn? None. Plus, you've got a bunch of horny high school students thinking their teacher is willing to sleep with anyone. Which I think I said before when this woman was fired from a school in Kentucky five years ago. But I can't find it on the blog. Must have been on the fantasy football website with all the naked pictures I used to run.

Speaking of porn, this is a sad tale. Well, maybe not sad. Pretty pathetic actually. The girl from some show called Teen Mom has been offered a role in a porno movie. The moment I saw this story, I said it was sad and despicable. Well, first I thought "what the hell is Teen Mom?". Then I thought sad and despicable. Well, after I saw the picture of the girl. Who would want to watch that?

And finally, one last porn story. Chyna wants to do another movie. Enjoy your dinner after hearing that.

Ah, Libya and other stuff

I kind of ignored the Libya story because while it has some amusing moments (for example, Barack Obama has launched more cruise missiles than any other Nobel Peace Prize winner), there really didn't seem to be much to it. For all the problems with Libya, it is a jerkwater craphole even by middle eastern standards. As much as I like the idea of Khadafy catching a bullet, I didn't really care that getting involved was complete amateur hour (mostly by the Europeans), but now we have the mission creep where helicopters are being engaged. That means this isn't just a cost issue, helicopters are much easier targets. We could start seeing allies getting killed and if the helicopters don't work, next step could be ground troops. This whole situation has been handled ridiculously. Look at the quote where Obama says we're going to "finish the job", but we don't even know what the job is. We want him to go but every time we hit a location he may be at, we're told that killing him isn't a goal. Well, that's just stupid. Say what you will about Bush and Iraq, at least he let it be known that we were there to eliminate Saddam Hussein. Because unlike Obama and Cameron and Sarkozy, he probably noticed that a no fly zone didn't do squat about eliminating Hussein. They actually thought this was going to be short. And obviously it isn't. It's been proven over time that it's really hard to bust a dictator loose just with some bombing. Unless you have a solid ground force, he'll just wait you out. And the Libyan rebels have proven to be less than stellar soldiers even with NATO bombings. Which means the NATO bombings could have actually made things worse. The rebels aren't strong enough to beat Khadafy's forces and he's not able to finish them off. Now Libya is in a civil war which is could get bloodier the longer it goes on.

So why did we get involved? Well, they said to protect civilians. That was a joke then because there was no evidence that civilians were being massacred. Or massacred to a surprising level. This is the Middle East. Killing civilians is a hobby. Now, we're being told Obama and David Cameron would like us to think that they are supporting Arab uprisings but a bunch of dead Syrians may disagree. This happened for two reasons. One is oil. Surprise, surprise. All that criticism in the past about wars for oil and it's Obama who gets involved in one that is truly about oil. But it's not oil for the US. It's for England and France. They screwed up. France and England jumped in early and opposed Khadafy. Then the Arab League was all for it until they weren't. Of course the French and British were for it. They took the opposition side when they were on the outskirts of Tripoli. Gee, I wonder if it was because they thought Khadafy was going down and they wanted to get in good with the future rulers because getting oil from Libya is a short (cheaper) trip. But they were stupid. Khadafy hadn't used his mercenary army or air force. Suddenly Libyan government forces were kicking around the rebels. And Khadafy was talking about shipping oil anywhere but France or England. Gee, wonder if that had anything to do with the sudden desire to get rid of him. The other reason is they did it is because they thought it would be easy. Libya isn't Iran or Syria (who is allied with Iran) who are doing pretty much the same thing to their civilians (guess Syrian civilians rate lower than Libyan civilians). The rebels had been on the outskirts of Tripoli. No one outside of Venezuela and some poor African countries he gave money to liked Khadafy. The Arabs opposed him (although that diplomatic coup was based on Khadafy once trying to kill the Saudi Crown Prince). Easy? Not quite. Let's not be too stupid here. Khadafy has no incentive to leave. The only countries that would take him in are other poor jerkwater countries. He knows they might eventually sell him to the International Criminal Court.

But if the rebels win, isn't it worth it? Good chance it isn't. One of the biggest concerns has been that we don't know who we're dealing with among the rebels no matter how many people want to call them "pro-democracy". We have no idea if that is true or not. We do know some things about them. They like to summarily execute captured soldiers which may not be a good thing. Oh, and one of their military leaders was once held at Guantanamo after being captured in Pakistan. But no concerns. We've known for years that the rebel strongholds were actually one of the top recruiting grounds for al Qaeda in Iraq. Ooops. Of course the reaction to the Arab uprisings by diplomats in the West has been laughably naive. They really seem to think because the protests are against thuggish dictators that they are being led by pro democracy liberals. Sorry. Not the case. Just because Hosni Mubarak was a dick doesn't mean his absence is a good thing. Guess who is aligning themselves with the military rulers in Egypt and is considered the best organized political group in Egypt? If you said the very anti-western Muslim Brotherhood, you win a falafel. And it doesn't appear that the military is all that reform minded to begin with. Might explain the upsurge in anti-Christian attacks in Egypt. But it's not just Egypt. A lot of people think Iran is behind a lot of the protests in Bahrain. But I'm sure Iran has the best of intentions. It gets even better in Yemen. There is a possibility that al Qaeda could end up in control there. Wouldn't that be awesome.

I'm sure some might think that having an Islamic government isn't a big problem. Some sound thinking there. In Saudi Arabia, a woman was arrested for driving a car. Then re-arrested for posting a video about it. The scary thing is the ruling monarchy is actually one of the more moderate elements there. But some might argue that Saudi Arabia isn't a good example because of how Islamic it is. It's not a moderate Islamic country like ........say Indonesia. Nothing says moderate like caning a woman for "being in close proximity" to a man. No word on whether she drove to meet him.

Here is a heart warming tale about a man letting a 10 year old girl drive his car. Because he was apparently too drunk to which means he was sort of responsible. In a half assed way. Too bad it all fell apart when the car was hit by a train. Don't worry. No injuries. Obviously the man was totally irresponsible here. Letting a woman drive his car. What was he thinking?

But is 10 years old too young for a push up bra? Not if she's shopping Abercrombie & Fitch. Although in their defense, they don't sell the ones for 7 year olds anymore. At least not on their website. I'm not sure which is worse. That the company thought it was a good idea to sell something like that. Or the fact that it took people complaining to remove it. Which means idiots were buying these for their kids.

Ah, a story from my youth. A story about that poster of a woman playing tennis and lifting her skirt to show her butt. I remember it well. We would go into Spencer's Gifts just to see it. Probably where my perverted behavior all began.

I'm sure some might see me as being overly critical about the foreign policy direction of our country. And you would be right. But Obama did one good thing in the midst of all the stupid. He approved a mission to kill Osama Bin Laden. I'll give him credit for that, but it became absurd the level his flunkies in the media went in lionizing him by saying it was a "gutsy call". The most pathetic was the woman who essentially claimed Obama was just as brave in authorizing it as the guys who actually went in on the job. Seriously? Comparing a potential political embarrassment to flying into an armed compound with the potential to get killed? Actually the only reason this was considered "gutsy" is because of who the President is. I can't think of any President who would not have made this decision. Believe it or not, there were other special forces raids into Pakistan predating Obama. The fact is Barry is the only one that there was any doubt about doing it.

And the aftermath of the whole raid shows just what a bunch of clowns are part of the national security apparatus now. Everything was done wrong. They were in such a hurry to get the story out that they couldn't even get it right. Which caused them to look stupid as they backtracked to tell what really happened. There was conflicting reports about whether or not we'd get to see the photo of his body. How do you not make that decision beforehand? Here's a thought. Why not hold off making the announcement for........even a week. He's dead. That's not going to change. Get your story straight. Make sure every question can be answered. Maybe get the Pakistanis on board with your story so they don't rush headlong into the arms of China. Then we can't even dump the body in the sea correctly. Supposedly it was done in proper Islamic fashion (who cares? I would have dump his body in a pig sty and let the hogs eat him) even though it wasn't. And it was done to make sure there wasn't a grave for radicals to make a pilgrimage to, and that's working about as well as expected. But we also got a lot of intelligence information. We know because they couldn't wait to announce how many thumb drives and laptops (and porn) were found. Guess they never thought keeping that a secret would be a good idea. Maybe we could waited a little longer than a week to announce his death to go through this treasure trove of data. I doubt al Qaeda was going to immediately announce his death, and as decentralized as they had become, it would have taken time to get everyone notified. Maybe time to find and kill them too. But I'm sure they didn't stay around their hideawaysafter watching CNN.

NFL Draft - Round One Live Blog (plus other crap)

We're getting ready to. Carolina has their pick in early. Of course, that's not surprising. They've known since the end of the season that they'd have this pick. Well, longer than that. They were crappy all year. First pick isn't that surprising either. They took Cam Newton. I think he'll be a bust. Not really a bust. I think he'll have career, but I'm not buying him as a superstar. Not accurate enough and I'm not sure he's got the willingness to work at getting better. But the good news is that with Newton's next signing bonus, the government will actually get its cut. Unlike the one from Auburn boosters, this one won't be in a duffle bag and will be taxable.

The Broncos take LB Von Miller. This will probably be the oddest moment of the draft. He got choked up after being announced and took his sweet time going up on stage. I thought maybe he didn't want meet the commish since.........well, he's suing the league over the labor unrest. Actually, I'm quite confused why he's even at the draft if that is the case. But then he went and hugged Goodell like he was his long lost father (even though they looked nothing alike). Probably stole his wallet.

Non-football Story Alert - Ah Boston. Land of the perpetually stupid. They are banning the selling of coke on city property. Not cocaine (that's probably still okay). Sodas and other drinks with sugar. Because they make people fat and cause health problems and banning them will save money in the long run. Well, no it won't. Not city money anyway. I'll clue you in on something. People who want to drink cokes can bring them in with them. People will leave the park and go to a convenience store and get a coke. That means money made from concessions and vending machines will be a lot less. And people will still be fat.

The Bills took someone. I wasn't really paying much attention since all their first round picks don't do much. It's only because of the absolute disaster that Detroit consistently produces with their early picks that the Bills have not been properly recognized for their own ineptitude. And then the Bengals take AJ Green. I liked AJ Green. Damned shame he went there. But I'm sure he's excited for the beginning of the Jordan Palmer Era. Then Arizona grabs CB Patrick Peterson out of LSU. There was some surprise that Arizona took him since they weren't seen as needing a cornerback. Yeah, that bottom 10 pass defense certainly wouldn't need that.

Alright. Atlanta traded up to get Julio Jones out of Alabama. I remember when he was on Sanford and Son. Then the 49ers draft some guy named Aldon Smith. No word if he's related to Aldo Nova.

Jake Locker just went 10th? That's a lot higher than I would have thought. Which led to Jon Gruden telling us how much he loves Locker. But for someone who hated everyone he coached, Gruden now thinks everyone is great. Oh, and it also led to Adam Schefter discussing how far the next QB in line, Blaine Gabbert, will fall. In the course of his soliloquy, Schefter referred to Gabbert by his full name about eight times. Because no one would have know which Blaine or Gabbert he was talking about if he'd shortened it.

Non-football Story Alert - Sometimes mothers can be a pain in the ass. An Italian babe was sunbathing topless and since she didn't want to get a burn, she began rubbing lotion on her apparently massive knockers (damn you news media for not getting the pictures we all want). Some wench went and complained to the cops because her boys (12 and 14) were "troubled" by seeing that. Is that what they call boners these days? Sad day when hot chicks can't rub their boobs in front of me.

Uh oh. Dallas just took a sensible pick. No nonsense offensive lineman. Although with their scouting, they'll move him to left tackle and find out later that he should be at the less valuable right tackle position. Uh oh. Schefter's great freefall of (Blaine) Gabbert ended two picks later (#10) as Jacksonville traded up to get Gabbert. And Gruden didn't understand it because he loves Gabbert but he also loves Jacksonville's present starter David Garrard. Obviously, Gruden never had Garrard on his fantasy roster.

Texans take some white guy for the defensive line. Nick Fairley is still waiting after being projected as a possible number one pick. I'm sure he will use that as motivation. He'll probably take a cheap shot at the usher who comes to lead him up on stage. Personally I hope he keeps dropping which isn't surprising. For all his talent, his intangibles are consistently listed as "dirty player who doesn't give maximum effort". Except when he's blind siding someone five seconds after he passed the ball. HOLY CRAP!!!!!!! CHRISTIAN PONDER WITH THE 12TH PICK?

Non-football Story Alert - What is it with Europeans and boobs these days? First the whiny woman bitching about the topless bather. Then a French mayor wants to take down a statue of Marianne (not real clear who she is; probably a prostitute) because she was designed with oversized boobage. And exactly what is wrong with that I say.

Ah, Detroit takes Fairley. That was nice of them. Then St. Louis takes Robert Quinn out of UNC after a season he had to sit out because of an NCAA suspension. Sweet. On a related note, having 58 (give or take a few) draft prospects at the show doesn't enhance the draft process at all. I don't really want to see them hug a bunch of people and run up on stage. But the part that sucks is you see them on the phone before the pick is officially made so there is no suspense when the commish actually reads off his name. More clips, less hugging. Because there's no one hear to hug me.

Heart warming story about Mark Ingram. He's very close to his dad. Who is in jail for money laundering. And his dad is doing extra time because he jumped bail to watch his son play a football game. And Suzy Kolber is saying she got an email from dad at the federal pen to give to his son. Probably asking for some smokes because that's like cash. But Ingram must wait. The Dolphins went o-line and took Mike Pouncey whose twin is the center for the Steelers. I was more interested in seeing the chick in the tight Dolphins jersey in the upper deck.

Off to make some jiffy pop.

Ate some popcorn while watching a handful of guys go. The only one I found interesting was Prince Amukamara (or something like that) to the Giants. I wasn't sure he should have been so highly rated at cornerback. I watched him get lit up by Oklahoma State. Personally I like the corner from Colorado, Jimmy Smith, who probably still won't be there when the Steelers draft. Although they probably wouldn't take him. I heard he fails drug tests.

Non-football Story Alert - Guy loses his credit card. Another guy finds it. Guy who finds it decides to use it to buy pizza. Even though he was worth millions and had a few hundred bucks in his wallet. Some people are just dicks.

I like Peyton Hillis, but how did he win a vote for the Madden cover? Well, I know how he won. It came down between him and Michael Vick who is still hated out there. But how did he make the final round?

Cute. The Colts take some o-lineman who wasn't even at the draft. He is pretty dorky looking. Perfect running mate for Peyton Manning. Was pretty cool how the girl next to him didn't realize the camera was back on them as she was shoving her thumb down her dress to fix her bra.

Ironic. After the pundits talked up the Ravens organization as being great at the draft, the Ravens miss their pick. Berman tried to excuse them by saying they were attempting to trade with the Bears. But I remember in the 2003 draft, the Vikings were widely ridiculed because they had to pass on their first round pick. In that case, their trade partner agreed to the deal, but decided time was running out and didn't call the NFL to inform them or the Vikings. So, I find this ironic because their trade partner at the time was............the Ravens. I'm kind of pissed now because finding that link forced me to read Len Pasquarelli who is a smugly arrogant bitch. More irony is the Vikings were ridiculed for losing out on Ryan Sims to have to take Bryant McKinnie one year and then had to take Kevin Williams the next year as other teams grabbed Byron Leftwich and Jordan Gross. Well, Sims was a bust while McKinnie has been a solid starter at left tackle for the Vikings. Leftwich has mostly been a backup. Gross has been a solid tackle but Williams has been to six Pro Bowls in that time.

Damn. The Ravens took Jimmy Smith.

Since the Jets are picking, lets look back at their last season. The Steelers shut them up in the playoffs and we found out after the season that Mark Sanchez was schtupping a 17 year old. Carry on.

Hey, the Steelers drafted Ironbutt Heyward's son out of Ohio State. Then the Packers took an offensive tackle to finish out the round. And Jon Gruden loved every one of them. They will all be stars.

Dirty Mormon Sex & Other Stories

Just when we get to the stretch run for college basketball, the big story is about a BYU basketball player getting a little nookie. Brandon Davies was the leading rebounder and third leading scorer for BYU, and then he was suspended for the rest of the year for boning his girlfriend. Which is against the honor code and which has caused some controversy over whether or not the honor code isn't some archaic blast from the past. My take? The school can take whatever action they want, and Davies signed up for it so too damned bad for him. Although the story is Davies confessed, but it hasn't come out if he just blurted it out or was turned in by someone else and admitted it afterwards. So, there is a certain weirdness about a school for adults investigating a student's private sex life. And of course it's archaic and unrealistic. Signing a no sex pledge at an age when you're a walking erection with low impulse control is easy to do, but hard to maintain. If any basketball or football player worth a crap asked my opinion of playing at BYU (and of course they wouldn't), I'd call them an idiot for even considering it. If you want to live a chaste and wholesome life, you can do that anywhere as long as you stick to it. You don't need a signed statement with your school for that. The difference is that BYU will suspend you from basketball for a non-criminal mistake. Davies is considered the next best pro prospect from BYU after the weirdly named Jimmer Fredette. He's probably a borderline player, but I've seen a lot of borderline players have a great NCAA tournament and suddenly show up in the first round. Which won't happen to Davies because he won't be playing. Bet he wishes he'd stuck to playing with himself.

Now, what I find especially interesting about this whole situation is how many sports pundits have jumped up and taken BYU's side by essentially saying how great it is that a school will put its honor code above winning. Yawn. Sportswriters are so predictable. They rip into schools for putting too much emphasis on winning, and then rip them for losing too much when they do put emphasis on things besides winning. Of course, it makes it easier to cheer for BYU dumping a player and hurting their chances in the NCAA tournament when it's BYU. Most sportswriters don't want to go to Ogden, Utah to cover a BYU basketball team. But what is most hypocritical about all this support is they keep leaving out a big chunk of the BYU honor code. Namely that you can claim to be gay, but if you show it in any way, you're breaking the honor code. I just have this feeling that if Davies were suspended for admitting to walking around campus holding hands with some dude that he loved, those same sportswriters might be a little harsher on BYU. In fact, I have a feeling you'd have to go far and wide to find any sports writer defending them.

I've had more than a few people say I need psychiatric help. But maybe I'll start with some nude therapy. Some chick in New York hosts one hour therapy sessions for $150 a pop (insert your own joke here) where she takes her clothes off during that time. Oh, and she's not licensed. She does it as a hobby. And often online. So, her online hobbies involve female nakedness as much as mine. Sounds like she's just an exhibitionist who thinks she's too high class for chatroulette. Oh, and she probably wouldn't make $150 an hour there. And would have to deal with nasty naked guys too. Or so I've heard.

Some Republicans want to cut funding for public broadcasting and NPR. About damned time. Why would any Republican vote to subsidize NPR when it is incredibly hostile to your party? Oh, of course the pantywaist liberals will accuse them of trying to "kill Big Bird". But that's a level of stupidity that only a retarded person would believe. To begin with, as Jim DeMint points out, any organization that can pay its execs hundreds of thousands of dollars can survive without being stuck on the federal teat. But even if they can't, so what? Sesame Street will. I worked in a toy store that had a whole aisle devoted to that show. With 8 billion other channels out there (give or take a few), Sesame Street would find a place to land if PBS disappeared. Besides, let's look at who watches PBS. They actually brag about how rich and successful PBS viewers are. Which begs the question of why the rest of us should see our tax dollars (or money borrowed from China) being used so these snooty bastards can watch public television? This is nothing but a subsidy for the rich. And they're snobbier than Hell about it. I remember some years back, the public radio station in Louisville bragged in an ad about how they had the fewest Big Red drinkers of any radio station in a listener survey. Which stations had the most Big Red drinkers? Hip hop and country. So, the elites want the money of the unsophisticated crackers and homeboys, but thank God they don't listen to NPR and sully those listener surveys.

Ah, this is funny. If you try to claim asylum in the Czech Republic for being gay, they'll hook you up to a "peter meter" to see if your willie gets up watching gay porn. But since they also check to see if regular porn does it for you too, I may just claim asylum if I ever visit the Czech Republic just to see if they got some good pornography.

Oh, darn. The electric cars aren't selling. Why anyone is surprised is beyond me. I have nothing against electric cars. If they ever make them efficient and practical, I think it's a good thing. Too bad these pieces of crap go about 60 miles and die. They're not going to sell in this country until they get better battery life. You might notice a lot of people live in non-urban areas. Plus, for someone like me, it's pointless. I live in an apartment. Am I supposed to run an extension cord out the bedroom window to the parking lot? Not while living in the barrio of Lexington I won't. And these cars are too expensive anyway. Even with a government subsidy, the Volt will still be well over $30K meaning that much like NPR, the government money is a subsidy for the rich. It would be nice to think that the price will come down when they make more electric cars. Except the batteries are lithium and there could be issues with supply for that. Under the law of supply and demand, the less supply you have in relation to demand causes prices to rise. Our government doesn't understand that. Gas prices keep going up because of fears that a bunch of Arabs killing each other will disrupt oil supplies. But our own government is trying to restrict our ability to produce our own oil supplies. Apparently they aren't aware that adding domestically produced oil will stabilize the price of oil and lower gas prices. Or maybe they are aware and just don't care.

Speaking of Arabs killing people, it's nice to see that the revolution in Egypt is ending in peace and harmony. And dead Christians. Glad I haven't blogged about this all leading to problems recently.

But let us get back to cars. Up in New York, some yahoos were doing about 145 mph while drag racing on the expressway. They jumped off to avoid the cops. One drove into a gas pump and burned up his car. That would have been a fairly interesting story. Then I read that car was a Dodge Neon. A Dodge Neon was doing 145 mph? Unless it was really a Dodge SRT-4, I'll only believe it got that fast driving over a cliff.

But this driving story is a lot more fun. A guy in Louisville got pulled over and charged with a DUI, but he had a novel excuse why he was weaving. He wasn't drunk. He was getting a hummer from his female passenger. I tend to believe him. He only blew a .054 which is below the legal limit. It doesn't say what his passenger blew. Besides him.

Oh, here's a good one. Some airline in Australia fired a steward for putting a year and a half old child into the overhead compartment and closing it. I was surprised at the firing because I've always advocated that children should be put up there on all flights. But it really got good seeing that she said "I was devastated. I was absolutely devastated. I was crying. My husband was in shock. For days on end, I was crying." Did the child suffocate while he was up there? Was he up there the entire flight? He was up there "for up to 10 seconds." Meaning 10 seconds was the maximum. Now this ignorant woman is taking him to see all kinds of "specialists". Do any do nude therapy? Seriously. Is this woman deranged? The kid was in the dark for 10 seconds. He's Australian. Which means he is descended from convicts. I'm sure he's tougher than that. If he's got emotional problems, it isn't from being in the dark for a few seconds. It's because his mom is a psychopath.

Here's a story I've been saving for awhile. A federal judge in Georgia is apparently the Charlie Sheen of the judicial system. He was buying coke and other drugs to snort with a stripper. That's just tacky. Give her the money. Make her buy the drugs. You just can't trust strippers these days. So sad. And dangerous. Some guy in Miami won $650K for getting poked in the eye by a stripper's high heel shoe. Not sure what he wanted her to do, but I prefer they rub someone softer in my face.

Unrest in the Middle East & Charlie Sheen. Are they related?

Big news in the Middle East. Lots of protest have already brought down regimes in Tunisia and Egypt. Libya is pretty much in a civil war. Yemen is close. Bahrain is having some troubles. It seems some people have suddenly realized they have lived for years under autocratic regimes. Oh, and ethanol production has led to higher food prices which caused rioting in those regions. Too bad no one ever thought making the connection between ethanol subsidies and food prices. But we've got revolution and a lot of people seem to like that. Viva la revolution or something. Nice in theory. But while I have no love for Hosni Mubarak and would dearly love to see Moammar Gadhafi-Qaddafi-Khadafy have his intestines stretched across the street, be careful what you wish for. Know who else likes revolution in the Middle East? Al-qaeda. Sure, in Libya, who cares. Can't get much worse than Khadafy Duck, but Egypt is another story. It's much larger and the most organized opposition to Mubarak was the Muslim Brotherhood which despite some fools saying it's a secular organization, the Muslim Brotherhood may not lead to the the free society envisioned. Sure, it's easy to say that the revolt in Egypt is the "youths", but just because they are leading it doesn't mean they'll keep it. After all, Khomeini in Iran and the Taliban in Afghanistan were just part of a larger anti-government group, but both gained control and turned their country into a third world Islamic theocracy.

Ah, Charlie Sheen. Is there nothing he can't do? Drug fueled rampage with a porn star in New York? Check. Attempt to start a porn family? Check. More porn stars and a suitcase of coke leading to a funny Taiwanese animated news story (that poor teddy bear)? Check. Blowing off rehab to take your ex-wife, new girlfriend and another porn actress on a cruise? Check. Get your highly paid gig shut down early because you went on an insane rant against your bosses? Check. Challenge your producer to a MMA fight and have another MMA fighter threaten to kick your ass? Check. And then it gets better. Sheen gives interviews. Which was his finest moment? Saying crack is okay if you can "manage it socially"? Calling on his fans to "walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice"? Telling ABC that "I'm on a drug; it's called Charlie Sheen"? Nope. I think the winning interview was claiming he turned his TV show "into pure gold" and that "I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips". Okay. Now, he's beyond delusional and just plain stupid. I've seen Two and A Half Men. It's a decent show. I don't think it's good enough to set the DVR, but I often watch it if I catch it on. It's a show where Sheen plays a misogynistic womanizer with a substance abuse problem. Boy, that's some range. I'm just waiting for my big break as a single fat guy who loves chicken wings, might have a substance abuse problem and wishes he was a womanizer. But I have magic in my wang. Besides, I've seen The Wraith and I'm not impressed that much with his acting. He's probably still pissed they killed him off early in Young Guns while letting his brother get top billing. But face it. How often does he even change expression while acting? Now, will his TV show survive without him? Probably not. Will the world be a poorer place without it? Nope. And some may think he's acting out because he's bi-polar. I disagree. He's probably just an asshole. If they want to make money off of him, they should bring the show back and run it live. People will tune in just to see if this is the week he dies on stage.

But in our never ending quest to find a replacement for the soon to be dead Sheen, we've discovered the 8 year old drunk in Scotland. Not sure why the surprise. After all, the country was named after a type of whisky (I think that's the order it went in). Apparently this child is from a family of alcoholics. But it is claimed she now has the support she needs. What? A new family? Happy tree friends? Is she already collecting welfare payments? But what's the worry? The United Kingdom is already in a buttload of trouble. I've already mentioned how a guy went on vacation for a week and squatters moved in. Well, these stories keep popping up. Here's another one where a man bought a house and a bunch of deadbeats moved in. Now he's being told it could be a couple of months before squatters can be evicted. On the first story, I thought it was utterly asinine that police said it wasn't a criminal manner because they didn't break in. How is that even rational? It's not their house. The person who has the title to it has stated that they have no right to be there. Ergo, they must have broken in to get inside there. If I leave the windows down on my car, you can't legally take the radio. But this instant takes it to a whole new level of rank European stupidity. The government is giving the shiftless maggots free legal aid to fight the eviction because they're shiftless maggots who don't have a job (and probably couldn't or wouldn't keep one if they did). Even worse, those sons of bitches have posted a notice against anyone trespassing. What the Hell is going on when a man who has made something of himself and works hard has fewer rights than some limpdick layabouts?

What the heck. How about another depravity story from the old country? A teenager tracks down his long lost dad. Finds him. Starts sleeping with his new stepmom. They break up because the situation is causing problems within the family. Then she starts seeing her stepson's best friend. Then I saw the picture of her. And thought "Really?". I guess if you find an English girl with good teeth, you hang onto her.

But can't really say that level of crass behavior is in vogue only in England. After all, it was in Phoenix that a wife of a local supervisor was arrested for having sex with a 14 year old boy. Then her adult daughter was arrested for having sex with that same boy, except he was 13 when she went after the young stuff. And in case you just assume that behavior is something yokels out in the sticks do, a professor at Columbia has been charged with incest. They keep saying with a "young relative" (heard it was his daughter), but then it says the relative was over 18 when it all started. Which makes me confused. If she was above the age of consent, how can she be a victim? Why isn't she being charged also? I smell sexism in the judicial system.

Here's a story on how far the regulatory nuts have gone in this country. The Easy-Bake Oven is going to have to change because their heating element was a 100 watt incandescent light bulb. Which have been banned beginning in 2012. Oh, they'll add some other heating element but how easy will that be to change? Besides, what the Hell business is it of the federal government whether or not I use a regular incandescent light bulb or one of those silly fluorescent (and toxic) light bulbs? I pay for my electricity. If I decide that I have to sit under enough fluorescent lights at work and want the better looking incandescent light source at home, that's my damned business. Rot in hell with your mercury filled lamps you regulatory bastards.

I have finally found an excuse to use when I get drunk and smash up my hotel room. I'll say I got a phone call and to save the midget locked in the next room while destroying the secret surveillance cameras. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Some of you may be surprised to learn that I don't really care much for Michael Moore. Something about him being a low life hypocritical hack just rubs me the wrong way. What's the latest thing that makes me roll my eyes? He's bitching about rich people having money. He wants to take it. Let's start with the most laughably absurd part of his interview. The use of the word "they". As if he doesn't belong in that category. You see that money grubbing bastard already made almost $20 million off Fahrenheit 9/11, but he's now suing the Weinstein brothers for another $2.7 million. My favorite line is from Moore's attorney that an audit found "the Weinsteins had re-routed at least $2.7 million dollars that belonged to Michael Moore." See, in the interview, populist Moore says rich people's money is "not theirs.....that's ours." But in court, plaintiff Moore says those millions belong to him. Personally, I believe that if you're owed the money, you have every right to get it. The difference is that I've never railed against rich people and capitalism like this dumbass has. Oh, and the way to get that money for Moore is to do it through the tax system. Tax the rich and get their money. Which is coming from a guy who championed (and got paid) a big tax credit for making movies in Michigan. It's almost like Moore insists on things that he doesn't let happen to himself.

Earlier in this posting, I mentioned depravity in America versus Europe (leaving out the goat humping in the Middle East). Let's go head to head. In Oakland, a teacher was suspended when several second graders in her classroom just took off their clothes. Oh, and then later two of the students had oral sex with each other. Now, that seems..............well, bad. It's even worse because the teacher was there for both incidents. Which really begs the question why was she just suspended and not arrested? Granted, it's the bay area, but I was once in the second grade. I really don't remember students leading a big strip off in the classroom. But in Spain, a 10 year old girl just gave birth. Which makes sense that it wasn't a 10 year old boy. What makes this rather sad is that the girls mother said that "10 years old is not considered young in Romania." I hate to point out to her that 10 years old should be considered young for sex.............well, anywhere. Why do I see all the sex tourists changing from Thailand to Romania?

I missed this story during the football season. Mainly because it involves Duke football and I'm not sure that really exists. Apparently Duke had a "Tailgate" event set up for students. They canceled it when a teenager was found passed out drunk in a portable crapper. Personally, I laughed out loud when I read that. Come on. Does Duke's administration think removing a sanctioned event will lead to less drinking? I think the event went rather well. At least they didn't turn the port-a-can over while the person was passed out in it.

It's been a good day. First I found an excuse for trashing a hotel room. Now I have one in case I get caught trying to rub one off in front of a teenage cheerleader on a plane. I spilled tabasco sauce on my junk causing it to itch. Not sure what excuse to use for the lecherous looks and drooling but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

The Grammy stuff and other things

I don't watch the Grammy Awards. Or pretty much any award show. It would get in the way of surfing dirty web sites and picking lint from my belly button. That and I find them very boring. But as a news junkie, I still see what goes on. Namely people whining about who wins what and why. This year the first big catastrophe I heard about was some jazz singer who plays a standup bass (maybe they thought she was Sting) beating out Justin Bieber and his ridiculous hair for best new artist. The next was Eminem being the heavy favorite for Album of the Year and losing to some band I've never heard of. First off, I can't figure the nomination process. I know Bieber was around two years ago and apparently the jazz singer has recorded since 2006. Yet, both were nominated for Best New Artist. But what do people really expect to happen? The voters for the Grammys are member of the National Academy of something or other. Most of them are music execs and technical staff. Justin Bieber lost because the Academy isn't made up of 14 year old girls (whether that is a plus is up to the individual reader). Now, to be fair, I did look up a Bieber video to find out what exactly his music style is. Found out it was crap and his bowling form isn't that good. So, a lot of adult industry execs like jazz over generic teeny bopper pablum? Like OMG!!! Who couldn't see that coming?

It's the same with Eminem. Just because record company people are willing to make money off of his crap doesn't mean they actually like to listen to it any more than I do. Just because a bunch of wannabe tough guys think he's "dangerous" doesn't really make his product that good. And who really thinks he's that dangerous. Of all the 'gangsta' rappers out there, he's the least threatening. Think about it. He's been caught carrying a gun twice. Unloaded. And that was during a "feud" with the Insane Clown Posse? Ah, those Eminem feuds. I guess Everlast may have the top of the heap considering his others were with his mother, his wife and Mariah Carey. I guess that's close to the Tupac Shakur and Notorious BIG feud. Eminem can't even get a good street drug addiction. Crack? Heroin? Meth? Nope. Prescription drugs. The drug of choice for middle aged mountain women. If that ain't gangsta, I don't know what is. Unless you count the commercials he was in during the Super Bowl. Brisk tea? Ooooh. And Chrysler? All the big pimps are cruising in the Sebring. Oh wait. They did away with the Sebring. And replaced it with the Chrysler 200. Which was the car Eminem was advertising. But also the city of Detroit because nothing says quality like the city of Detroit. Great line from the commercial where Detroit is referred to as "a town that has been to Hell and back." Uhm, yeah. It never made it back. Actually, Eminem and Detroit deserve each other.

Awesome hooker story. Woman travels from Michigan to Louisville to give naked massages for $250 a pop. When the vice cops ask her if she'll do anal (I guess asking for a BJ or just regular sex was too inappropriate), she said sure. For an extra $50. So, a massage is worth five times as much as buttsex? Her kiester is the Walmart of her retail enterprise.

John Stossel once did an interview with the chief of the New York teachers union, and she actually believed (or was lying, but what's the difference) that private sector employees routinely only work "six hour, 40 minute" days. Yeah, if you work fast food or retail and have a maximum limit on hours worked so you don't lose your welfare check. I thought of that when I saw all the fun in Wisconsin as the public employee unions threw a massive hissy fit as the new governor of Wisconsin pushed a bill to restrict the items that can be collectively bargained which would make it easier to make the state employees actually pay some of their health insurance premiums and contribute to their retirement. You know, like just about every private sector employee in the country does. But no, the teachers all called in sick and held a massive rally to demonize opposition (so much for the new civility) and generally make asses of themselves.

Now, I have nothing against teachers in general, but I hate to tell them that they aren't all that special. There are a lot of good teachers out there, just like there are a lot of good employees in every industry. There is also a lot of garbage pretending to teach. I went to college with a lot of people who majored in education who freely admitted they wanted to be a teacher to have summers off. But I don't know why good teachers put up with it. Unions mean that they won't be paid commiserate of their abilities. A high school physics teacher could easily be making less than a second grade teacher who has a few more years under her belt. One is teaching almost at a college level. The other spends half her time getting her charges not to wet themselves. Yeah. They should be paid the same. I'm not even convinced an elementary school teacher requires a four year degree. They could be taught all they need at a two year technical school. Personally, I don't believe any public employees should be allowed to unionize since they are negotiating with a monopoly who pays them with someone else's money. Very corrupting to see a group donate to the campaigns of people who vote on how much money they can make. But I think the teachers and other unions are going to find out they are overreaching badly. They may get a big crowd (easy to do when you bus them in) and make a lot of noise, but I guarantee you that voters who haven't received a raise in two years and fear losing their job entirely probably don't have much sympathy for people doing better than the average while working a lot fewer hours. Oh, and making those voters scramble to find babysitters because you couldn't wait until the weekend to hold your rallies isn't going to help either.

But I think my favorite part of the whole thing was the accusation that the Wisconsin governor was acting like a "dictator". And that somehow the process is undemocratic. Yeah, okay. That's very laughable. Democratic senators have fled to Illinois so they won't have to vote on it because they know they'll lose. Scott Walker was elected (you know, as part of the Democratic process) governor on this platform. Republicans also took control of both houses in the same election. Somehow, blocking a vote is democracy and following through with your vote isn't. I think there is a large group of people unclear of that concept. Besides, if this measure is so bad and unpopular, Democrats should want the Republicans to vote on it. Won't they end up being voted out of office over it if it's that bad? Yeah. Democrats and union leaders know I'm right. The support is for the bill, not against. And no amount of screaming and vote blocking is going to change that.

But as long as we're talking about teachers, I don't think I've done a teacher-bangs-student story for awhile. This one is nice because the teacher was doing five different students, mostly football players. Very supportive of the team. And it appears to be working. I looked them up and they kind of stink, but they more than doubled their win total from 2009 to 2010. Incentive based athletics if you ask me. Then there was this story that on the surface seemed a relatively common story of these situations although getting caught by the cops while flopping naked on top of a 16 year old boy in the backseat of her car was a little more titillating (ha, I said tit) than most. But that's not what makes this one special. It's the fact that as part of her job, she counseled other teacher. On how to avoid banging students. I guess she was doing some really in depth research into the subject. Or was just a whore.

Tom Brady won the NFL MVP this year. He had a good season. Probably deserved the award. But he's done. Can't call him an elite player anymore. And not just because he's looked like crap in his last three playoff appearances. But mostly because he's now the face of Uggs boots for men. I wasn't aware that they had a men's version of their ugly boots. But I have to guess they are as performance deflating as they are soul destroying.

If you want to know what public unions lead to, look no further than the Cranston police department. A police officer gets fired and thinks he should have get his job back. Why was he fired? He and his partner were having sex with some bimbo while on duty. In uniform. In a threesome. I do like the line from his supervisor about how the officer didn't seem to be doing much work - "I don't know what he was doing out there." Well, he must not have been listening to the testimony in court, because I now know what he was doing out there.

A woman in Idaho pretended to be a plastic surgeon and performed breast exams on a couple of other women. At a bar. Real geniuses there. Most doctors don't make house calls and you think they'll do some doctoring at a bar? And the name Berlyn Aussieahshowna doesn't sound made at all. I don't know why I never thought to try this. Oh wait, I did. The women just didn't buy my act. Probably the heavy breathing and drool running down my mouth. Oh, and the fact I wasn't wearing any pants.