The Grammy stuff and other things

I don't watch the Grammy Awards. Or pretty much any award show. It would get in the way of surfing dirty web sites and picking lint from my belly button. That and I find them very boring. But as a news junkie, I still see what goes on. Namely people whining about who wins what and why. This year the first big catastrophe I heard about was some jazz singer who plays a standup bass (maybe they thought she was Sting) beating out Justin Bieber and his ridiculous hair for best new artist. The next was Eminem being the heavy favorite for Album of the Year and losing to some band I've never heard of. First off, I can't figure the nomination process. I know Bieber was around two years ago and apparently the jazz singer has recorded since 2006. Yet, both were nominated for Best New Artist. But what do people really expect to happen? The voters for the Grammys are member of the National Academy of something or other. Most of them are music execs and technical staff. Justin Bieber lost because the Academy isn't made up of 14 year old girls (whether that is a plus is up to the individual reader). Now, to be fair, I did look up a Bieber video to find out what exactly his music style is. Found out it was crap and his bowling form isn't that good. So, a lot of adult industry execs like jazz over generic teeny bopper pablum? Like OMG!!! Who couldn't see that coming?

It's the same with Eminem. Just because record company people are willing to make money off of his crap doesn't mean they actually like to listen to it any more than I do. Just because a bunch of wannabe tough guys think he's "dangerous" doesn't really make his product that good. And who really thinks he's that dangerous. Of all the 'gangsta' rappers out there, he's the least threatening. Think about it. He's been caught carrying a gun twice. Unloaded. And that was during a "feud" with the Insane Clown Posse? Ah, those Eminem feuds. I guess Everlast may have the top of the heap considering his others were with his mother, his wife and Mariah Carey. I guess that's close to the Tupac Shakur and Notorious BIG feud. Eminem can't even get a good street drug addiction. Crack? Heroin? Meth? Nope. Prescription drugs. The drug of choice for middle aged mountain women. If that ain't gangsta, I don't know what is. Unless you count the commercials he was in during the Super Bowl. Brisk tea? Ooooh. And Chrysler? All the big pimps are cruising in the Sebring. Oh wait. They did away with the Sebring. And replaced it with the Chrysler 200. Which was the car Eminem was advertising. But also the city of Detroit because nothing says quality like the city of Detroit. Great line from the commercial where Detroit is referred to as "a town that has been to Hell and back." Uhm, yeah. It never made it back. Actually, Eminem and Detroit deserve each other.

Awesome hooker story. Woman travels from Michigan to Louisville to give naked massages for $250 a pop. When the vice cops ask her if she'll do anal (I guess asking for a BJ or just regular sex was too inappropriate), she said sure. For an extra $50. So, a massage is worth five times as much as buttsex? Her kiester is the Walmart of her retail enterprise.

John Stossel once did an interview with the chief of the New York teachers union, and she actually believed (or was lying, but what's the difference) that private sector employees routinely only work "six hour, 40 minute" days. Yeah, if you work fast food or retail and have a maximum limit on hours worked so you don't lose your welfare check. I thought of that when I saw all the fun in Wisconsin as the public employee unions threw a massive hissy fit as the new governor of Wisconsin pushed a bill to restrict the items that can be collectively bargained which would make it easier to make the state employees actually pay some of their health insurance premiums and contribute to their retirement. You know, like just about every private sector employee in the country does. But no, the teachers all called in sick and held a massive rally to demonize opposition (so much for the new civility) and generally make asses of themselves.

Now, I have nothing against teachers in general, but I hate to tell them that they aren't all that special. There are a lot of good teachers out there, just like there are a lot of good employees in every industry. There is also a lot of garbage pretending to teach. I went to college with a lot of people who majored in education who freely admitted they wanted to be a teacher to have summers off. But I don't know why good teachers put up with it. Unions mean that they won't be paid commiserate of their abilities. A high school physics teacher could easily be making less than a second grade teacher who has a few more years under her belt. One is teaching almost at a college level. The other spends half her time getting her charges not to wet themselves. Yeah. They should be paid the same. I'm not even convinced an elementary school teacher requires a four year degree. They could be taught all they need at a two year technical school. Personally, I don't believe any public employees should be allowed to unionize since they are negotiating with a monopoly who pays them with someone else's money. Very corrupting to see a group donate to the campaigns of people who vote on how much money they can make. But I think the teachers and other unions are going to find out they are overreaching badly. They may get a big crowd (easy to do when you bus them in) and make a lot of noise, but I guarantee you that voters who haven't received a raise in two years and fear losing their job entirely probably don't have much sympathy for people doing better than the average while working a lot fewer hours. Oh, and making those voters scramble to find babysitters because you couldn't wait until the weekend to hold your rallies isn't going to help either.

But I think my favorite part of the whole thing was the accusation that the Wisconsin governor was acting like a "dictator". And that somehow the process is undemocratic. Yeah, okay. That's very laughable. Democratic senators have fled to Illinois so they won't have to vote on it because they know they'll lose. Scott Walker was elected (you know, as part of the Democratic process) governor on this platform. Republicans also took control of both houses in the same election. Somehow, blocking a vote is democracy and following through with your vote isn't. I think there is a large group of people unclear of that concept. Besides, if this measure is so bad and unpopular, Democrats should want the Republicans to vote on it. Won't they end up being voted out of office over it if it's that bad? Yeah. Democrats and union leaders know I'm right. The support is for the bill, not against. And no amount of screaming and vote blocking is going to change that.

But as long as we're talking about teachers, I don't think I've done a teacher-bangs-student story for awhile. This one is nice because the teacher was doing five different students, mostly football players. Very supportive of the team. And it appears to be working. I looked them up and they kind of stink, but they more than doubled their win total from 2009 to 2010. Incentive based athletics if you ask me. Then there was this story that on the surface seemed a relatively common story of these situations although getting caught by the cops while flopping naked on top of a 16 year old boy in the backseat of her car was a little more titillating (ha, I said tit) than most. But that's not what makes this one special. It's the fact that as part of her job, she counseled other teacher. On how to avoid banging students. I guess she was doing some really in depth research into the subject. Or was just a whore.

Tom Brady won the NFL MVP this year. He had a good season. Probably deserved the award. But he's done. Can't call him an elite player anymore. And not just because he's looked like crap in his last three playoff appearances. But mostly because he's now the face of Uggs boots for men. I wasn't aware that they had a men's version of their ugly boots. But I have to guess they are as performance deflating as they are soul destroying.

If you want to know what public unions lead to, look no further than the Cranston police department. A police officer gets fired and thinks he should have get his job back. Why was he fired? He and his partner were having sex with some bimbo while on duty. In uniform. In a threesome. I do like the line from his supervisor about how the officer didn't seem to be doing much work - "I don't know what he was doing out there." Well, he must not have been listening to the testimony in court, because I now know what he was doing out there.

A woman in Idaho pretended to be a plastic surgeon and performed breast exams on a couple of other women. At a bar. Real geniuses there. Most doctors don't make house calls and you think they'll do some doctoring at a bar? And the name Berlyn Aussieahshowna doesn't sound made at all. I don't know why I never thought to try this. Oh wait, I did. The women just didn't buy my act. Probably the heavy breathing and drool running down my mouth. Oh, and the fact I wasn't wearing any pants.