Unrest in the Middle East & Charlie Sheen. Are they related?

Big news in the Middle East. Lots of protest have already brought down regimes in Tunisia and Egypt. Libya is pretty much in a civil war. Yemen is close. Bahrain is having some troubles. It seems some people have suddenly realized they have lived for years under autocratic regimes. Oh, and ethanol production has led to higher food prices which caused rioting in those regions. Too bad no one ever thought making the connection between ethanol subsidies and food prices. But we've got revolution and a lot of people seem to like that. Viva la revolution or something. Nice in theory. But while I have no love for Hosni Mubarak and would dearly love to see Moammar Gadhafi-Qaddafi-Khadafy have his intestines stretched across the street, be careful what you wish for. Know who else likes revolution in the Middle East? Al-qaeda. Sure, in Libya, who cares. Can't get much worse than Khadafy Duck, but Egypt is another story. It's much larger and the most organized opposition to Mubarak was the Muslim Brotherhood which despite some fools saying it's a secular organization, the Muslim Brotherhood may not lead to the the free society envisioned. Sure, it's easy to say that the revolt in Egypt is the "youths", but just because they are leading it doesn't mean they'll keep it. After all, Khomeini in Iran and the Taliban in Afghanistan were just part of a larger anti-government group, but both gained control and turned their country into a third world Islamic theocracy.

Ah, Charlie Sheen. Is there nothing he can't do? Drug fueled rampage with a porn star in New York? Check. Attempt to start a porn family? Check. More porn stars and a suitcase of coke leading to a funny Taiwanese animated news story (that poor teddy bear)? Check. Blowing off rehab to take your ex-wife, new girlfriend and another porn actress on a cruise? Check. Get your highly paid gig shut down early because you went on an insane rant against your bosses? Check. Challenge your producer to a MMA fight and have another MMA fighter threaten to kick your ass? Check. And then it gets better. Sheen gives interviews. Which was his finest moment? Saying crack is okay if you can "manage it socially"? Calling on his fans to "walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice"? Telling ABC that "I'm on a drug; it's called Charlie Sheen"? Nope. I think the winning interview was claiming he turned his TV show "into pure gold" and that "I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips". Okay. Now, he's beyond delusional and just plain stupid. I've seen Two and A Half Men. It's a decent show. I don't think it's good enough to set the DVR, but I often watch it if I catch it on. It's a show where Sheen plays a misogynistic womanizer with a substance abuse problem. Boy, that's some range. I'm just waiting for my big break as a single fat guy who loves chicken wings, might have a substance abuse problem and wishes he was a womanizer. But I have magic in my wang. Besides, I've seen The Wraith and I'm not impressed that much with his acting. He's probably still pissed they killed him off early in Young Guns while letting his brother get top billing. But face it. How often does he even change expression while acting? Now, will his TV show survive without him? Probably not. Will the world be a poorer place without it? Nope. And some may think he's acting out because he's bi-polar. I disagree. He's probably just an asshole. If they want to make money off of him, they should bring the show back and run it live. People will tune in just to see if this is the week he dies on stage.

But in our never ending quest to find a replacement for the soon to be dead Sheen, we've discovered the 8 year old drunk in Scotland. Not sure why the surprise. After all, the country was named after a type of whisky (I think that's the order it went in). Apparently this child is from a family of alcoholics. But it is claimed she now has the support she needs. What? A new family? Happy tree friends? Is she already collecting welfare payments? But what's the worry? The United Kingdom is already in a buttload of trouble. I've already mentioned how a guy went on vacation for a week and squatters moved in. Well, these stories keep popping up. Here's another one where a man bought a house and a bunch of deadbeats moved in. Now he's being told it could be a couple of months before squatters can be evicted. On the first story, I thought it was utterly asinine that police said it wasn't a criminal manner because they didn't break in. How is that even rational? It's not their house. The person who has the title to it has stated that they have no right to be there. Ergo, they must have broken in to get inside there. If I leave the windows down on my car, you can't legally take the radio. But this instant takes it to a whole new level of rank European stupidity. The government is giving the shiftless maggots free legal aid to fight the eviction because they're shiftless maggots who don't have a job (and probably couldn't or wouldn't keep one if they did). Even worse, those sons of bitches have posted a notice against anyone trespassing. What the Hell is going on when a man who has made something of himself and works hard has fewer rights than some limpdick layabouts?

What the heck. How about another depravity story from the old country? A teenager tracks down his long lost dad. Finds him. Starts sleeping with his new stepmom. They break up because the situation is causing problems within the family. Then she starts seeing her stepson's best friend. Then I saw the picture of her. And thought "Really?". I guess if you find an English girl with good teeth, you hang onto her.

But can't really say that level of crass behavior is in vogue only in England. After all, it was in Phoenix that a wife of a local supervisor was arrested for having sex with a 14 year old boy. Then her adult daughter was arrested for having sex with that same boy, except he was 13 when she went after the young stuff. And in case you just assume that behavior is something yokels out in the sticks do, a professor at Columbia has been charged with incest. They keep saying with a "young relative" (heard it was his daughter), but then it says the relative was over 18 when it all started. Which makes me confused. If she was above the age of consent, how can she be a victim? Why isn't she being charged also? I smell sexism in the judicial system.

Here's a story on how far the regulatory nuts have gone in this country. The Easy-Bake Oven is going to have to change because their heating element was a 100 watt incandescent light bulb. Which have been banned beginning in 2012. Oh, they'll add some other heating element but how easy will that be to change? Besides, what the Hell business is it of the federal government whether or not I use a regular incandescent light bulb or one of those silly fluorescent (and toxic) light bulbs? I pay for my electricity. If I decide that I have to sit under enough fluorescent lights at work and want the better looking incandescent light source at home, that's my damned business. Rot in hell with your mercury filled lamps you regulatory bastards.

I have finally found an excuse to use when I get drunk and smash up my hotel room. I'll say I got a phone call and to save the midget locked in the next room while destroying the secret surveillance cameras. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Some of you may be surprised to learn that I don't really care much for Michael Moore. Something about him being a low life hypocritical hack just rubs me the wrong way. What's the latest thing that makes me roll my eyes? He's bitching about rich people having money. He wants to take it. Let's start with the most laughably absurd part of his interview. The use of the word "they". As if he doesn't belong in that category. You see that money grubbing bastard already made almost $20 million off Fahrenheit 9/11, but he's now suing the Weinstein brothers for another $2.7 million. My favorite line is from Moore's attorney that an audit found "the Weinsteins had re-routed at least $2.7 million dollars that belonged to Michael Moore." See, in the interview, populist Moore says rich people's money is "not theirs.....that's ours." But in court, plaintiff Moore says those millions belong to him. Personally, I believe that if you're owed the money, you have every right to get it. The difference is that I've never railed against rich people and capitalism like this dumbass has. Oh, and the way to get that money for Moore is to do it through the tax system. Tax the rich and get their money. Which is coming from a guy who championed (and got paid) a big tax credit for making movies in Michigan. It's almost like Moore insists on things that he doesn't let happen to himself.

Earlier in this posting, I mentioned depravity in America versus Europe (leaving out the goat humping in the Middle East). Let's go head to head. In Oakland, a teacher was suspended when several second graders in her classroom just took off their clothes. Oh, and then later two of the students had oral sex with each other. Now, that seems..............well, bad. It's even worse because the teacher was there for both incidents. Which really begs the question why was she just suspended and not arrested? Granted, it's the bay area, but I was once in the second grade. I really don't remember students leading a big strip off in the classroom. But in Spain, a 10 year old girl just gave birth. Which makes sense that it wasn't a 10 year old boy. What makes this rather sad is that the girls mother said that "10 years old is not considered young in Romania." I hate to point out to her that 10 years old should be considered young for sex.............well, anywhere. Why do I see all the sex tourists changing from Thailand to Romania?

I missed this story during the football season. Mainly because it involves Duke football and I'm not sure that really exists. Apparently Duke had a "Tailgate" event set up for students. They canceled it when a teenager was found passed out drunk in a portable crapper. Personally, I laughed out loud when I read that. Come on. Does Duke's administration think removing a sanctioned event will lead to less drinking? I think the event went rather well. At least they didn't turn the port-a-can over while the person was passed out in it.

It's been a good day. First I found an excuse for trashing a hotel room. Now I have one in case I get caught trying to rub one off in front of a teenage cheerleader on a plane. I spilled tabasco sauce on my junk causing it to itch. Not sure what excuse to use for the lecherous looks and drooling but I'm sure I'll come up with something.