The Greatest Story of the Year & Other News

Okay, maybe not of the year, but it certainly made my day when I heard that Tony Kornholer is no longer going to do Monday Night Football. He was the absolute worst broadcaster I ever heard. He'd spend half the time rambling about nothing. Or fawning over whatever schmo they pulled from some ABC show they were pimping. Or worse, asking absolutely stupid questions that make me wonder if he ate lead paint to prepare for the show. Dennis Miller had better knowledge of football than Kornholer. I think I took a dump that had more football knowledge than Kornholer. Now they're replacing him with Jon Gruden. What an idea. Having an actual broadcaster doing play-by-play and two football guys doing color. I wonder if that will work.

I didn't bet the filly in the Preakness, but only because I almost never bet at those odds. But I thought she was clearly the best horse in the field. She wasn't even running her best race and still won by a full length. They aren't sure if she'll go to the Belmont which is too bad. She's the best 3 year old running. Of course it helps that a good chunk of the top horses have been hurt. Old Fashioned got hurt early. I Want Revenge was a late Derby scratch. I was hoping Quality Road would be back for the Belmont, but it looks like he won't. I think he could be the best 3 year old out there. Could be some interesting inbound horses for the Belmont though. Dunkirk has the talent so he could be there. But I'm looking at Charitable Man coming out of the Peter Pan. I think that could be the one if Rachel Alexandra skips it.

There's been talk of the Preakness moving from Pimlico Racetrack because nobody goes any other time and it's in a ghetto. But it's not like Churchill is in a great neighborhood. No, the problem is people in Maryland just don't care that much about horse racing anymore. Attendance at the Preakness was down a bunch this year. Because they banned BYOB in the infield. Might want to bring that back. What's a horse race without guys running on top of porta-cans. I'm not surprised that's the case. Growing up in Louisville, the Derby was huge and so was horse racing in general. When I lived just north of Baltimore, Preakness Day was fairly big deal, but not much more than a college football game big. Otherwise no talked about horse racing.



John Edwards is the story that keeps on giving. To begin with, I should feel sorry for his wife. He cheated on her while she had cancer. Granted, she was in remission but I was never sure that was better. Most likely knocked up his mistress. But she makes it tough when she talks to Oprah and blames the other woman. Lying incoherently didn't help matters. Does anyone really believe she was told about it and didn't want the mistress fired? Now, we get the story that some of Edwards' campaign staff had a plan to derail his campaign if it looked like he'd get the nomination because they were concerned the rumors were true. That's great. I'm sure all the shmucks who shelled out a lot of money for his campaign were happy to hear that.

A poster of Bill O'Reilly being assassinated is hanging on the wall of a restaurant in Venice, CA. I thought it was conservatives that were hateful.

I don't understand this. There is only one pig in Afghanistan. In a zoo. I do understand that Muslims don't eat pork because it's unclean, but banning pigs is silly. There are plenty of animals that we don't eat that aren't banned from the country. Chinchillas. Iguanas. Bald eagles. Homeless children.

Two employees somewhere at Yellowstone were fired and charged with crimes for taking a piss in Old Faithful. There is no mention of whether alcohol was involved. God, I hope so. I've been drunk before but never thought about pissing in a boiling pot of water. That'd be a good punishment. Have them stand around with their wangs hanging out next to a geyser that isn't always on time.

Cat Stevens is going to sue Coldplay over some Coldplay song sounding like some Cat Stevens song. I can't really make a determination if it's really a ripoff because I didn't feel like listening to either song.

I shouldn't laugh about this because these kids are probably going to be screwed up in the future. But a woman in Dallas (probably a Cowboys fan which explains everything) gave birth to fraternal twins and just found out they have different daddies. She says she did cheat on her man but manages to try to sound like a victim when she says "Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me". Yeah. It's God's fault. Or the fact you're a ho who can't keep her legs closed.

What kind of story is this? Two chicks get busted for prostituting themselves with a minor, and the article doesn't even mention his age? If he's a 17 year old minor, so what? If he's 11, that's more interesting. Besides, I don't see where he got busted for solicitation. Sure he's a minor, but he was buying. And at $5 to $30, I'm curious what he was buying. Sure, I assume that you're getting something for $30 but from a skank. But $5? What kind of junkie whore gives away anything for $5?

No reason to have one hooker story without another. Some Polish dude took his 14 year old son out to get himself a whore to lose his virginity with. Too bad the kid picked out the cop. Freshman. They don't know the clean one is a cop. Oh, they were in England too. Maybe in Poland, that's okay. But it says the deal was only for 20 pounds which is $30 so maybe I always thought hookers cost more. Crap, you can get a lapdance for $30. Am I wasting my money or are these guys going after really nasty hookers?

Let's do some "Your Government At Work" stories. Number one is only if you live in Massachusetts which makes you a Masshole. The state is giving cars to welfare recipients so they can drive to work. Unless they go back on welfare. Then they can keep the free car and just lose the insurance and AAA membership. Why the Hell they would buy deadbeats AAA insurance that most people who pay for their own $hit don't have is beyond me. And I'm sure they're running out and buying liability insurance. Just because you don't own squat and have no reason to fear a lawsuit when you get high on meth and ram into another car is no reason to think these people won't get insurance. So, let's give high risk people a car and put them out on the road with no insurance. Great friggin idea.

Great. The government is funding a study through the NIH to find out why gay men like to take risks with their buttsex when they're drunk. Except the study was to take place in gay bars in Argentina. Now, I'm not gay, Argentinian or drunk. Well, maybe drunk. But I can answer this question. To begin with, drunk people make lousy decisions. Secondly, it's two guys. Both are trolling for sex. What did they expect to happen? And why would they think gay bars in Argentina would be different from home grown gay bars?

But gay bars in Argentina aren't the only places that are getting US government money. Chinese whorehouses are too. Apparently if they have bars. Wayne State got a grant to teach Chinese whores to drink responsibly while selling their cootchie. Granted, there is nothing worse than a drunk chinese hooker, but the point is to stop the spread of HIV. Do they really think these women are spreading disease because they are drunk and not because they are whores?

NBA Playoffs & Other News

I'm having a good laugh about these playoffs. If I had to bet, I'd put quite a bit of money on the Cavs winning it all. I see that Yao Ming broke his foot. Does anyone know where David Stern was when that happened? I'm guessing that the NBA would very much like to see a Kobe-LeBron matchup in the finals. Can't let those damned Rockets get in the way. But the most interesting part has been the fouls. Rajon Rondo makes no effort at the ball, hits Brad Miller upside the head and doesn't get a flagrant foul called. Which meant a dazed Miller could only be substituted for the choice of Boston's coach and it wouldn't be two shots and the ball as if it was flagrant. The defense of the call was that it was in the closing seconds and only the most blatant should be called. Okay. Then at the end of the latest Dallas/Denver game, a Dallas player was swiping at Denver's Carmelo Anthony in the last few seconds of the game to get a non-shooting foul. Nothing was called and Anthony hit a last second three for the win. Dallas complained because they thought the foul should have been called. It was a foul, but pretty tame. Which do they want? Hold the whistle at the end of the game or not?

Thought this was interesting. The University of Missouri is requiring journalism students to have an iTouch or iPhone. They say they are doing it because by making it a requirement, students can include it on a financial aid which I think it pretty stupid. If you've got a computer, you can re-watch it on iTunes so why should the federal government be buying iPods for students? And I like my iPod, but why shaft an incoming student who has another mp3 player and isn't on financial aid by making them buy one?

And come to think of it, why do they still have journalism school? Newspapers are dying. Local TV news hires former beauty queens and network news hires former Democratic aides. I only get the paper if I feel like doing the crossword puzzle or seeing what ad specials are out for strip clubs. I used to think newspapers were declining because of the absence of Calvin and Hobbes, but now I think it's more than that. The internet is definitely taking a toll, and the newspapers weren't sure how to handle it. But I think it's more than that. The business structure sucks. The Louisville Courier-Journal has a full time reporter in Washington DC (they call him a bureau) which makes no sense because most of their national news is pulled from the AP wire. Newspapers routinely send sportswriters to cover the Final Four or Super Bowl whether or not there is a local angle. Why? Just pick up a national feed. That's just wasting money. I'm not all that concerned with the loss of newspapers. If they were smart, they'd go to fewer days of the week and be smaller to save money. Most of what's in them comes from wire services so I can read it online before it gets printed. Major local stories also hit the local TV news before they get in the paper. So, go with a three or four day a week tabloid with in-depth local news. Not that they've shown an ability to do that as it is. The Boston Globe was almost closed because it's losing millions of dollars a week. So, how did they cover a story in their own backyard? They ignored it and based the story from Kentucky. Yep, newspapers are vital for local coverage.

If you're a cop and dating an ex-con, maybe you should re-think that one. A Florida deputy threw away a 21 year career because his wife took her mother and some teenage dude on a joyride in his patrol car. Looking at his wife's picture, I'm sure he could have done better. Although she seems adept at picking up 19 year old losers.

A 15 year old girl was spray tanned naked by a man running the tanning salon. Now Indiana is in an uproar (and blaming Kelvin Sampson, I assume) because they discovered that it isn't illegal. I'm shocked. I could learn how to do that. Uh, I mean that this is a travesty and must be made illegal immediately.

Imagine that. CIA agents don't trust Barack Obama because they think releasing the interrogation memos stabbed them in the back. So, basically, they don't want to do anything they can be second guessed on. Which I'm sure will make us safer. The whole argument over waterboarding is getting ridiculous. It must not have been torture because torture is illegal. If waterboarding is torture, Obama would not have needed to sign an executive order banning it. It would have already been illegal. Or since we've heard stories that the CIA was using it several years ago, why didn't Democratic Congressmen introduce a bill directly banning it. Especially since while Nancy Pelosi is lying about it, it's pretty obvious she knew it was going on. At the very least, she thought it was legal. And do I really care about the three scumbags getting waterboarded for info? Considering who they were, I wouldn't care if they were waterboarded for fun. As for the argument that the U.S. doing that to them helped Al-Qaeda recruit, that's laughable. Al-Qaeda chops the heads off of electrical contractors for fun. Do you really think they find harsh interrogations to be offensive? If anything, telling them what they may go through if captured will spur recruitment. They know they don't have to fear anything now.

There was a story awhile back questioning whether a boob job will help lawyers get ahead. I don't think it'd help men too much, but it probably wouldn't hurt women. Now, we get some woman in Australia who had her legs broken in four places so they could be stretched and she'd gain three inches of height. She thinks that will help her legal/political career. I'm not so sure since it's come out that she did that. I broke my arm once. In one place. I didn't like it. I don't think I'd be so quick to hire a nutsack like that.

Ah, England. They released a list of people banned from traveling to their politically correct country. It had skinheads, hamas leaders and radio host Michael Savage. Now, I'm not a Savage fan. I find his voice to be grating and he intentionally stirs up stuff, but so what? I've never heard him advocate going around killing people. What makes it worse is that he wasn't even planning to go there so some bureaucrat just decided arbitrarily to keep him out. Actually what makes it worse is that person just got dinged for expensing her husbands porno movies. Wait. That's not right. The absolute worst part is these are the people they let come in and stay. Frankly, I don't find Michael Savage to be that dangerous. But we are talking about a country that has become so retarded that arresting a 10 year old for using a playground insults results in more criticism of the judge for letting him go than for the idiots who arrested him.

When talking about the Somali pirates recently, I expressed concerns about the present administration following up with action against the pirates. And it looks like I was right. A Navy vessel was attacked by some pirates. And ran. Shouldn't the Navy be engaging pirates who attack them?

At a DC food bank, Michelle Obama was seen wearing a pair of $540 sneakers. Now, I don't really care what she wears. Hell, I became a cynic when I was in college volunteering at a meal center. I'm wearing a pair of Converse sneakers (not Chuck Taylors which go in and out of style but the cheapo sorta leather ones) and serving free food to someone wearing a pair of Nike Air Jordans. But I can imagine how different the reaction would have been if Laura Bush had shown up to help the poor wearing those things. Actually, my first thought is what the Hell makes those things worth $540?

Why can't Johnny read? It's a question I've tried to answer many times. And I keep getting new reasons. The latest is the LA school system where firing a teacher is almost impossible. Surprisingly the LA Times had a long article that actually seemed to oppose teacher's unions on this. Basically, a teacher has to do a lot to get fired and not be reinstated on appeal. The part that really got me was where they investigated some instances where a teacher's firing was overturned. One of them was fired for keeping "pornography, marijuana and vials with cocaine residue at school." And reinstated. Why wasn't he in jail?

The Count of Monte Cristo would be proud. A woman decided to get revenge against some woman whose daughter got into a fight with her daughter or something. Since it was between 9 year olds, this was obviously the mature action. She set up a sex ad on Craigslist and directed the people who sent an email to call the other woman who apparently wasn't happy about getting so much action. The problem is that she must have done it from her home computer and got caught. Idiot.

Ah, who says dumpster sex isn't the best sex? A man and woman were caught doing it in the bottom of a dumpster. I thought I was cheap. And if they couldn't afford a room, couldn't they do it behind the dumpster? I'm very disappointed in the police who responded. They let the woman go. I don't really care about her behavior, but if she'd been arrested, there would be a mug shot and we could see what kind of woman agrees to have sex in a dumpster.

I'll be traveling for work in the coming weeks so I may not get my Preakness predictions in. Unlike a lot of Preaknesses, several Derby horses are entering it. Gee, I wonder why. I'm taking the filly. Assuming Rachel Alexandra makes it into the field. The owner of Mine That Bird was going to enter another horse just to keep her out (gee, I wonder why) and freely admitted it. Then he changed his mind. Probably because he realized what a gutless douche he was being. Or more likely didn't really want to pay the entry fee for his second horse, and D. Wayne Lukas was going to drop his second horse if it kept Rachel Alexandra out. Oh well, maybe he can just bribe someone instead.

Stupid Horse & Other News

I can't believe that nag won the Kentucky Derby. This is embarrassing. The most prestigious horse race in the world is won by a horse who lost his last two races in ungraded stakes races at Sunland which is a crappy little track outside El Paso. His last big race was the Breeder's Cup Juvenile which he finished last. Stellar. I've said time and again that the field is just too big. The track secretary was repeatedly calling Mine That Birds connections to remind them that he had enough earnings to be in. That's pretty sad that Churchill Downs needs the entry fees so badly that they'll take the fourth place finisher of the Sunland Derby. It's really sad that POS won. It didn't run a lick in it's last race and suddenly it explodes down the stretch? Mine That Bird is the worst Derby history in history. At least in my lifetime. I thought Giacomo was bad, but at least he'd hit the board in the Santa Anita Derby before the Kentucky Derby. That's a slightly better race than the Sunland Derby.

I'm a snob about horse racing. I don't mind long shots coming in when it's a regular race, but I want the top horses to win the Derby. I saw some saying it was good for racing that a long shot won. Is it? Based on what? How did Giacomo help racing when he was a non-factor the rest of his career? I think racing would have been helped a lot more if Afleet Alex had won the Triple Crown that year. Cinderella stories are for college basketball. Now, I'm not saying a cheap horse becoming a star is a bad thing. Seattle Slew and Smarty Jones weren't expected to be much, but they were top horses going into the Derby. Not some low rent nag from the sticks.

Gee, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter left the Republican Party to become a Democrat. And freely admits that it's because he can't win the Republican Party primary for his 2010 seat. Crass political pragmatism. That always goes over well with voters. And it's not the first time he switched parties just to get elected. It screws things up with the Republican filibuster attempts, but he wasn't a solid vote anyway so I'm not sorry to see his worthless ass go. I didn't need him supporting the stimulus joke to begin disliking that douchebag. I thought Republicans were stupid not to try someone else in 2004. They're looking foolish now for raising money and campaigning for him. And he's not a lock to win re-election even though Pennsylvania always trends Democratic. Mainly because I'm not sure Specter is going to even win the Democratic primary. Specter always needed a big Republican push to hold his seat, and they really had no choice but to vote for him. But what do Democratic voters owe him. The party leadership is backing him, but are the rank and file going to? Wouldn't they want someone who hasn't been a Republican Senator for the past 29 years and isn't running on the campaign slogan "My Only Principle Is I Like Being A Senator"?

An Akron strip is in trouble. For having a 14 year old stripper. Oh, and not having a licence to run a strip joint. So, if you have one of your dancers wearing a Hello Kitty g-string, wouldn't it be smart to have the rest of your paperwork in order so you don't get checked on? When Camelot West had a 14 year old stripper here in Lexington, they got busted because her mom followed her to work.

Ah, criminal masterminds. A couple of dumbasses were arrested for stealing a county truck. They got caught because they were pushing it. Because it didn't work. And stealing a working truck would be way too much work.

I am happy to announce that I am not one of the 1539 people who has the swine flu (just because I eat slop and wallow in my own filth doesn't mean I have swine flu). But I think it's apparent that it will kill us all. Just because it doesn't seem to be spreading that quickly or more lethal than regular flu is no reason to believe we can survive this. If you have a gun, use it on yourself. It will be quicker. But fortunately Kathleen Sebelius has been confirmed as Secretary of Health And Human Services which was "essential" with the swine flu running amok and making people sick. Because medical doctors with long schooling and expensive degrees need the guidance of someone whose suitability for the job was based solely on endorsing Barak Obama early.

But there is a plus to this. It means they might stop using Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano in that job. She brings a different skill set. Well, actually not. She got the job by supporting Barak Obama too. Might be why I find most cabinet secretaries to be useless. Sure Napolitano is doing a bang-up job at Homeland Security. Her department releases a report telling cops to keep an eye out for returning vets joining radical groups. She defends it by pointing out that Timothy McVeigh was a vet and got his training in the Army. Yeah. And is the only good example she can come up with to be suspicious of a whole group. Who committed his crime 14 years ago, and if I think about it, making a fertilizer based car bomb isn't part of standard army training. Oh, Napolitano is concerned about foreign terrorists too. She wants to guard the Canadian border as much as the Mexican one because the 9/11 terrorists entered the country through there. Except they didn't. But don't worry, she's not really that worried about the southern border either. She's of the opinion that illegal immigration isn't against the law even though it's actually in the penal code, and that might be why it's called "illegal immigration". Yeah, she's an idiot.

Here is one guy who is willing to be sent back. In fact, he wants to go to Mexico. So much that he ran naked down the street so he'd be arrested and shipped home. Yeah, I say let that one go.

Love the call of censorship. Especially since it's not censorship if it's someone turning your painting around while they're teaching in the art room. Especially when they are teaching children and your painting is a 6 foot by 7 foot picture of a gerbil jacking off. I don't want anyone telling me the print of Dogs Shooting Pool over my dining room table isn't art. You can call something art, but I think a serious art student painting a rodent playing with itself is an indication of that I shouldn't take that art department too seriously.

Hmmmmm. "Leading Chinese dissident claims freedom of speech worse than before Olympics." I wonder if anyone out there thought it was a bad idea to give the games to a dictatorship. Let me think.........

Hey, spanking can make a couple closer. Especially if handcuffs are involved.

Kentucky Derby Pick & Other News

They scratched morning line favorite I Want Revenge, but I wasn't going to bet on him anyway. However, having him scratched means my pick will probably go off at shorter odds. Which sucks. Although with 18 other horses to beat, still a good chance of losing so losing at 10-1 odds is the same as losing with 4-1 odds. Actually, I was able to throw out most of the horses pretty quickly. Not counting I Want Revenge, the only horses I seriously considered were (in order of post position) Hold Me Back, Friesan Fire, Papa Clem, Chocolate Candy, General Quarters, Dunkirk and Pioneer of the Nile. After watching Colonel John not run well at last year's Derby, I'm avoiding horses that have never run on dirt. So as much as I like Pioneer of the Nile (and think he could make the dirt move pretty well), I got to toss him. And that means Chocolate Candy goes too. Hold Me Back had me interested as a long shot, because he can stalk a fast pace, but I don't see a fast pace. And he hasn't beat anyone. General Quarters ran well in the Bluegrass Stakes, but that's synthetic which isn't good, but he has dirt wins too. But they weren't top dirt races, and his pedigree doesn't make me confident of his ability at the distance. Papa Clem has me very interested because he's probably going to be a price. And while he has only really beaten one top horse (Old Fashioned who has been retired), he has run well going against other top horses and does as well on dirt as he does synthetic. If better horses get stuck in traffic, he could have a shot. He's not my choice, but I'll certainly consider him for place/show and in exotics.

That leaves Friesan Fire and Dunkirk. Dunkirk lost the Florida Derby, but barely. And I think he'll do better on Churchill's track. I really liked the way he finished. The downside is the horse didn't run as a two year old which is a concern. The trainer is Todd Pletcher who is one of the best in the business, but has struggled in the Derby. Jockey Edgar Prado is one of my favorites, one of the best and has won the Derby, but I lost every time I bet him at the Keeneland spring meet. Still, he seems to be doing good at Churchill. Friesan Fire won the Louisiana Derby, and the track there is almost exactly like Churchill. And he's won in the mud which may be important here. He's a stalker and has a good post for that. The only concerns are a seven week layoff since his last race. Some are concerned about the distance, but I'm not sure that'll be an issue. So, who to bet? Leaning towards Dunkirk because I can probably get a better price. But I think I'll wait until I see them on the track and decide which horse looks ready to run.

This is beyond a doubt one of the greatest health stories ever. Scientists have found that one of the best cures for a hangover is a bacon sandwich. Because everything is better with bacon. Well, actually it's because of some amino acid thing, but still, it's just another excuse to eat bacon. In fact, I think I'll eat more bacon as a preventive measure to hangovers. Even if I'm not drinking. Contrary to some opinion, I'm not always drunk.

A report came out that the father of one of the children who starred in Slumdog Millionaire tried to sell her. How come when Madonna uses her money to take a child with a family, it's called adopting? Personally, I think the story is a sham, but let's look at it closer. The producers of the movie decided to leave their slum dwelling child actors in the slums because giving them very much money would have a "transformative impact on their lives." That's true. They might move to a house that isn't next to an open sewer. I'm always happy to see wealthy people concerned about the well-being of poor people having money. Sure, they're saving some money for them when they reach 18. Assuming they can reach the age of 18 while living in a slum. And besides, why shouldn't her father sell her? She's peaked. Living in a slum is hard. She'll become less cute. Lose her earning power. Sell when her price is high.

How do they deal with ground squirrels in the American northwest? They blow them up. Probably while drinking coffee and wearing flannel.

I've joked before about the problems Obama appointees have had with tax issues (although I still think it's absurd that the Sec'y of Treasury didn't pay his taxes since he's over the IRS). For all the talk of professionalism, it makes them look like buffoons for not vetting them well. Then I read this little blurb. One of the members of the auto task force (you know the one that kept GM and Chrysler from going into bankruptcy by giving them a bunch of money which led to them to going into bankruptcy or about to) was under investigation by the SEC for alleged kickbacks. But the good news is that he was vetted. But still put in charge of the task force. Hmmmm. That may be more amateurish.

General Motors and Chrysler have either declared bankruptcy or plan on doing so. GM hasn't yet, but they will if their restructuring doesn't go. And if it does, the feds and United Auto Workers will own 89 percent of the company. Chrysler already did the bankruptcy route. After giving up over half the company to the UAW. Supposedly, the deal with Fiat will come in to run things and make the company a success again by bringing in their technology and knowledge. Because with all the success that import cars have had in the U.S., none have been better than Fiat. Well, except Toyota, Honda, Volkswagon and well, do they even sell Fiats here?

Where does that leave Ford who wasn't bailed out by the government? In the short term, they're screwed. Good luck trying to win federal government contracts against General Motors. Oh, and your two main competitors are owned by the union that represents your employees. I'm sure their national leadership will be more than happy to make concessions for Ford. Now, long term, Ford is....well, probably still screwed. Sure, union or government owned industries generally don't work. They're inefficient and money losing operations. However, Ford is already struggling. Since the government has a stake in those companies, they can handle the losses for awhile in hopes that things turn around. Ford may not have that kind of time.

Why do I think government operations are inefficient? They have a long history of proving it. Want a real good example? In Hawaii, an access road was damaged by flooding in a state park. The state didn't think they could repair it for less than $4 million or less than two years. So, local people whose livelihood relied on the park being open fixed it themselves in a very short time. I imagine for a lot less than $4 million.

This is good. Sweden taxes stripper webcams. And thinks about 500 strippers may be skimping on their taxes. To the tune of 40 million Swedish kroner which may or may not be actual money. But according to a currency exchange rate, that's about $5 million in lost taxes. That doesn't really pass the smell test. That'd be $10K in lost taxes per stripper. I really doubt they're pulling in enough cash to meet that amount in taxes. But the real joke is that they're looking for Swedish strippers by manual searches of webcams. So, someone has to surf sex webcams and try to match them with known Swedish strippers. Where do I apply?

I haven't really paid much attention to that Sarah Boyle chick who wowed people on that show Britian's Got Talent because she sang well even though she was old, frumpy and a virgin which some apparently think is related to singing ability. Personally, I find it hard to believe that the producers of the show weren't aware of how well she'd do, but I don't really care because these type of shows are pretty dumb. Then I read this. Some "film" studio is offering her a million bucks to be in a porno. As I hold back the bile rising in the back of my throat, I have to ask who the Hell would want to watch that?

When will the nanny state's war on clowns cease? In England, a circus clown was told he couldn't wear clown shoes because they weren't safe. Does this mean people will really big feet shouldn't go to work? Give me a break. This guy broke his foot doing a stunt that could have happened no matter what shoes he was wearing. What's next? Making trapeze artists wear hard hats? Oh wait.....

A couple in Singapore were arrested for walking naked in a bar. I find a couple of interesting points from the article. One is that the writer felt the need to point out how prudish Singapore it. Which is true, but I have a feeling that walking naked through a bar might cause legal issues in Lexington. Unless it's a hot chick. Then it's acceptable. The other point the writer made was to say they showed up wearing clothes to their court appearance. Yeah, but my assumption was they'd show up naked to it. We've got some Pulitzer material right here.