Politics, Sex & Other News

I'll be honest. I did not watch any of the Democratic Convention. Has nothing to do with my dislike of socialism. I won't watch the Republican convention either. These things are completely pointless since the primaries have already told us who the nominee will be. So, am I supposed to be impressed that they pick a bunch of party hacks to give a speech (that a whole team probably worked to write)? I can read the transcript of the speech the next day. Mainly because things that sound great when spoken often look ridiculous when you read them. Case in point when I was reading Obama's transcript and came to this line about how he would cut taxes for 95% of working families. Really? Which taxes would those be? With deductions and earned income credits, only half the people in this country pay federal taxes. How do you reduce that? Conventions are just big pep rallies that cost a lot of money for no real purpose. Sure I could have tuned in to watch Obama walk on water (I'm assuming that must have been in the program somewhere), but I saw Ric Ocasek do it in the video for Magic. I think there is a trick to it. Although a few years later, an ugly as ever Ocasek was married to supermodel Paulina Porizkova. If that's not magic, I don't know what is.

The other big news was Vice-President picks even though every study has shown that the V-P pick really doesn't make much of a difference. After teasing the press for a few days, Barak Obama picked Joe Biden. I can't remember where I read this, but it was the best analysis of the situation. "After all that buildup, the pick was Joe Biden?" The pick was popular with the political pundits because they actually know something about him. However, I have to question how popular he is outside Washington (and Delaware) since he was fighting Christopher Dodd for last place in a very abbreviated Presidential campaign. Not sure how good a pick it is. Supposedly, he has foreign policy experience although his response to 9/11 was a little (actually stunningly) stupid. Plus, when you're whole campaign is based around "CHANGE" and being an outsider, does it make sense to pick someone who has spent almost all of their professional life in the Senate?

Then John McCain makes his pick and chooses Alaskan governor Sarah Palin in an obvious effort for disgruntled women still pissed that Hillary lost the Democratic nomination. Or he's trying to shore up the three electoral votes from a state the Republicans have only lost once. Unless we're talking MILFs in politics, she wouldn't have been my first choice for V-P, but then again, McCain wasn't even in my top three for President. There is a lot to like to like about her. Some of it political. The best being her fiscal policy of flipping the bird to dillweed Don Young and hopefully-soon-to-be-in-jail Ted Stevens. I half wondered if McCain counter intuitively chose her because her biggest drawback is inexperience. Democrats would look pretty silly saying a governor of two years is inexperienced, but a Senator of three years is perfectly fine. I figured the Obama camp would just ignore her, but I was wrong. They jumped right in. I guess the Democrats believe experience (no matter how stupid that experience is) is only necessary for the vice-presidents. It's beyond me that they would want to make that an issue.

Speaking of that Alaskan dumbass Don Young, Ron Paul has endorsed him. Paul has lived on a myth that he's some kind of fiscal conservative constitutionalist. Well, that sham should be well exposed when he endorses his old buddy who happens to be one of the pork gluttons in Congress.

Interesting study about British anti-Americanism found that one reason it's prevalent is Brits don't know crap about America. Which shouldn't be surprising since they don't know much about themselves. Why should we be surprised by this? Their news comes from the BBC which is considered very anti-American. Funny how other countries complain we don't care enough to know about the rest of the world. Douchebags.

I used to have a place in my heart for Sweden. Well, at least the Swedish Bikini team and Swedish Erotica movie series. But this is about the most pathetic story I've heard. A couple of men in Sweden, who obviously have too much time on their hands (and apparently nothing in them), are whining because the state run pharmacy only has women's sex toys. Don't they have the Internet there? I was confused by the women who defended the practice by saying, "there are no products of good quality on the market for men." How does she know? Does she test them? How? The other thing that confused me was a comment that women used to get better rates on taxis and haircuts. Why? I can see bars doing it because it brings in women who bring in men who blow money on women. But do cabs smell so bad there that they have to discount the trip in order to get women to ride them? And haircuts? Usually women are charged more because they take longer. Are Swedish men such poofters that there hair takes longer?

And why don't they do like the guy in Hong Kong who stuck his wang in a park bench? Oh right, because he got stuck.

Or go to a hooker. Someone went to this hooker in New York who only had one leg, was in a wheelchair and performing her services in a hallway of the building she lived in. What a good neighbor. And so inspiring that she didn't let her handicap get in the way of a fulfilling career. And then her john killed her. Not very sporting.

In other sex news that involves criminal prosecution, a woman is being tried for illegally having sex with a 15 year old. Yet, the victim of sexual assault has been told he has to pay child support because the criminal got pregnant through her crime. Now, the boy's family is trying to get custody. Let's ask this question. If an adult male impregnated a underage girl, would any court give him custody of the child? I don't think so either.

Somewhere in Tennessee, a woman shot a porno movie in a playground at a local park. Well, they said porno, but it sounds like she just flashed the camera. Still, it's a crime that should be punished (although the TV report says they may not be able to arrest her). Or at least fought against. I offer my services to patrol those local parks to see if she does it again. And I will watch as long as necessary so I can describe every detail of it to the police.

FOOTBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. College football began on Thursday and the big UL/UK game is coming up. Usually, I try to break down the different issues to pick a winner. Well, I don't want to touch this game at all. No way in hell would I bet on it. I have no idea what's going to happen. UK lost a good chunk of its offensive stars. UL has no experience at receiver or linebacker. UK thinks they've got a good defense, but I think that's been overblown. Nor do I think UL's was as bad as they looked although they did look bad. Both teams may rely on the run, but statistically, both were pretty mediocre at it last year. UL reshuffled the coaching staff which can give me some hope as they looked ill-prepared way too often. Although that begs the question if coordinators are so important, why do head coaches make so much more money? Even as bad as UL was at times last year, they had the lead with just over a minute left when these teams last played. The game's in Louisville which meant something before last year. The one thing that gives UL an edge is the fact Hunter Cantwell has started games at quarterback before and did well. Which I think could be enough. I'll probably be happy if they don't go out on the field and look like a bunch dumbasses like they did last year.

A Little More On The Olympics

Considering the fact that I'm up past 3 in the morning to watch the gold medal basketball game, should I still consider the Olympics a sham? Oh, Hell yeah. Mainly because NBC has pissed me off completely. I wasn't happy with their coverage to begin with. One of the summer events I really look forward to is men's indoor volleyball because it's about the only time I can see it. Earlier this week, I stay up to catch the semifinal match between the U.S. versus Russia. Local news cut out most of the first game. Okay, I blamed that on the worthless affiliate because any channel that thinks having Alan Cutler anchor it wouldn't have a clue how to run an operation. So, what happened earlier? The U.S. played Brazil in the gold medal match which started at midnight. Seems great because it would run until the gold medal basketball game. Which it did. Too bad NBC decided not to televise it. They're going to run a replay fifteen hours after it ended. So, what was on? Friggin' table tennis and mountain biking. Great job, NBC.

It's a good thing the U.S. won the gold medal in men's basketball or else ESPN.com's Chris Sheridan would swell to an unhealthy level since he insinuated that the U.S. would lose just about every game beginning with Greece (without actually predicting the loss).

Not to bag on local boy Tyson Gay who had a bad time in the Olympics as he failed to make the finals of the 100 meter and then was part of the fumbled baton on the 4X100 relay, but in hindsight, it probably would have been better if he'd stayed home. He was coming off a hamstring issue that kept him out of training. One part of that missed training was the relay where they get comfortable passing the baton.

Then there is the story that won't go away no matter how much the IOC wants it to - preteen gymnasts. A computer sleuth found a cache file of a list of gymnasts compiled by China's sports administration which showed them as being too young. So, the IOC demanded an investigation. The Chinese coach can't understand why anyone thinks they would lie. Just because they used underage gymnasts in the past. Just because they lied to the IOC about reforms for the Olympics. Just because every document or report that comes out shows the gymnasts are younger than they are supposed to be. The excuse before was that the media reports wouldn't have known the gymnasts ages. Even though as I pointed out before, the media and gymnast are both owned by the Chinese government. Now that government documents show the real age, the new story is that it was simply a paperwork error. Sure that's believable. This is a country where life is so regimented that they can ban having a second child (and enforce it). So, yeah, I can believe that all these paperwork errors kept occurring.

And I see where some people here are following right along. I've seen it argued that they provided passports. Sure, because fakes are next to impossible to find in China (that really is a $30 Armani suit for sale) even without the willful complicity of a government wanting to win the gold medal count. Do they really believe that the Chinese government won't provide other documentation (with wet ink) to prove otherwise? Hell, I wouldn't put it past them to "find" a photo of all the girls holding a 1993 newspaper. I've also seen the argument that it's just sour grapes because even if the gymnasts were underage, they were still the best (considering I saw a Chinese gymnast win bronze after falling on her face on the vault, that's a dubious assumption). Except, the countries following the rules could have left home good gymnast because they were too young. I guess I should give people like moron Jim Caple credit for at least admitting that the Chinese might have cheated before excusing it with the classic "everybody cheats." Sure, except in the U.S., cheaters like Marion Jones (funny, Caple doesn't mention her) can end up in jail at the hands of the government. In China, the government has a full role in the cheating.

So, will the IOC find anything? Possible, but it'll never see the light of day. No way they embarrass the host country. Sure, they'll strip an athlete of his medal for getting pissed about getting screwed, but no reason to look to closely at a big country. Let's look at the dumbass who runs the Olympics, Jacques Rogge. He's all up in arms about Usain Bolt showboating, but then says he's happy with the way China ran the Olympics. He feels they opened up China. Much the way they opened up Nazi Germany in 1936. Literally. Sure there may have been some glitches (some that didn't involve 12 year old slave gymnast). There's a report they shot some Tibetans (but don't worry, they closed off the territory so we don't have to concern ourselves with that). They set up some protest zones in the Olympic spirit, but denied every permit and basically used the process as a way to get the names of potential dissidents. Including some little old ladies sent to labor camps for reeducation. And the worst of all, they banned iTunes because it has some Tibetan freedom album on it. Yep, the Olympics have busted that country wide open. Rogge also said "people will understand China with all its challenges." What challenges? Too many dissidents, not enough labor camps? Not enough lead paint to keep industry humming along? Too many ugly girls that can sing well?

I also love how concerned he is over the instability in the Abkhazia region of Georgia which is 25 kilometers (I think that's about 328 miles) from the site of the 2012 Olympics, but he's not really that concerned because "the Russians have pledged total security." Which should be pretty easy to do since they are the main cause of the instability. Nice to see Rogge is blissfully unaware of what's going on in the world. He's also been quick to point out that the Olympics aren't about politics, but then when speaking of China's medal tally says "the world has to learn to live with a change of geopolitical nature." Which is it? Are the Games non-political even though countries use them to advance politics? And you gave them to a country that freely admitted that politics was their goal in them?

But it's nice of him to say that baseball might be back if Major League Baseball lets the pros play. I'm sure that will happen. I'm sure they'll either shut down for two weeks right as the pennant races are heating up or tell teams to lose their top players for two weeks just as the pennant race is heating up. This is why the Olympics are so stupid. Baseball is played all over Latin America and most of the Pacific Rim not to mention the United States. It's not an Olympic sport, but ping pong is even though half the competitors are Chinese playing for other countries. I don't even like baseball, but to not have that while you've got crap like synchronized diving, trampoline, rhythmic gymnastics and windsurfing is a friggin' joke.

Now, he doesn't mention softball which was dropped even though the best players show up. Word is that American dominance (until this year) was the reason. Doesn't seem to bother them with China and ping pong. I think they bring in these weird ass sports because Americans don't give two craps about and would make no effort to win. They have canoe. How can Americans compete in this sport? Americans don't know how to canoe without a cooler in the boat. And shooting? They use air guns. Is this high school? Send some deer out there and we'll find out who the best shots are.

As for the really boring sport of diving, I've got one word to spice it up - CANNONBALL.

Car News & Other Stories

This is how I want to go. It has revenge and a horrifyingly awful suicide. A rich man marries a gold-digger who worked at his gym and tanning salon and thinks five years of marriage entitles her to what he worked his life for. So, he cancels his life insurance, blows all his money, and goes into debt. Then he tied a rope to a tree and his neck. Then he sped away in his car so his head would rip clean off. Word is the Chinese are trying to get it added as a demonstration sport for the Olympics.

CNN.com had an informative article about things not to do with your car. Well, it would have been informative if I actually washed my car. Funny, I didn't see anything about not using your car in a decapitation suicide. Nor did I see one saying that you shouldn't speed and masturbate while video taping it and transporting two marijuana plants in the backseat. Good to hear. I was afraid I was engaging in dangerous behavior, but CNN is okay with it. Cops seemed to have a problem with it so speed up if you see them.

Now, this is a great story. Guy steals a car. Then he gets car jacked. But he bravely escapes (well, he runs away). Then showing the intelligence normally found in a brick, he calls the cops to report his stolen car stolen. Did he think the cops were going to give it back to him?

Speaking of suicide, I stumbled across an interesting story about Michael Hutchence, late lead singer of INXS. He's been listed as a suicide after his hanging death over a decade ago. Now, a lot of people don't believe he died from suicide. More along the lines of accidental death whacking his willie while strangling himself (the other way I want to go). Now, his brother is pushing that theory. He says he wants to do it because he doesn't want his niece to think her father killed himself. Yes, dying while jerking off is so much better.

Speaking of........, on national TV Ernest Borgnine attributed his long life to spanking a lot of monkeys which gives me great hope for my own longevity. For entirely different reasons, of course. It also explains why he used a pump action shotgun in The Wild Bunch. No theory why he was the only one of the four who didn't grab the big machine gun in the climactic scene, but it may be why so much of the other stuff was necessary. Borgnine is also talking about his navy days when he'd visit a whorehouse and it would cost $2. That was like the Spanish-American War or something. I bet you could get a lot for $2.

And continuing the hooker theme, a cop in Texas is in trouble for screwing hookers while doing a vice sting. His wife is defending him. That is the most understanding (or dumb) wife out there. Dinner talk must have been fun. "Hi honey. How was your day?" "Did some whores". "That's nice. Want some more peas?" I'll defend him too. Vice isn't a glamor job with the cops. How else are you going to get volunteers for it if you don't let them screw hookers?

I think in the long run that Russia screwed up with their attack on Georgia. Supposedly they agreed to a cease fire and pullback. Not that they're actually doing it. Maybe they were lying. Which I find interesting. Why didn't they just take the capital? Everyone (with a clue) knows the Russian excuse that they were protecting their citizens in breakaway parts of Georgia was a sham. And everyone else should have known when they began bombing parts outside those regions. It's obvious the U.S. and Europe aren't going to war to protect Georgia no matter how close an ally. So, why not take the country over? Wonder if it might have something to do with the less than stellar performance of their military? Sure, it pushed the Georgia Army back, but the Georgia National Guard could probably do that without the overwhelming force Russia employed. I think their fear may have been turning a conventional war into a guerrilla campaign which didn't work out to well in Chechnya. I think it may have backfired because the goal seems to be intimidating former Soviet satellite countries into keeping their distance from the west. That may be backfiring. Poland doesn't seem too worried. Nor do others. Makes you think they were a little less than impressed. What Russia needs to worry about is whether China was less than impressed. They have the same ideas on territorial expansion plus a population that isn't dying away. Plus, the Chinese can't be too happy that Russia took attention away from their fraudulent.........er, model Olympics.

As I said, Europe and the U.S. aren't going to war over Georgia, but they certainly can hit them economically. Throw the Russians out of the G8 (where they don't belong anyway). Throw them out of the World Trade Organization. There's a myth that Europe's economy needs Russia. Georgia proved that when Russia tried (and failed) to destroy the Georgian economy. The myth is built on Europe buying oil and natural gas from Russia, but that relationship runs both ways. Russia's economy is heavily dependent on energy export. They can stop shipping to Europe, but they can't shipping oil somewhere because they need the money it brings in. Oil and natural gas are sold on the global market. If Russia only sells to China, then those already selling to China will gravitate to Europe to fill that market. China might side with Russia out of nothing more than knee-jerk anti-Western attitudes, but they can't be that stupid to run up energy prices over it. Why? Same reason as Russia not pulling their supplies off the market. China's economy would be seriously hurt by it. China is highly dependent on exports to the U.S.. Manufacturing moved to China for cheap labor. However, without cheap transportation, that advantage is lost due to the shipping distance. High oil costs means Mattel starts making toys in Mexico.

But enough with geopolitics. Let's talk about movies. Porno movies. A company in Canada is starting a pay-per-view porn channel that will feature primarily Canadian porn. I'm sure the Canucks are so proud. When you say Canada and porn, about the only thing I can think of is that I once heard that Traci Lords' underage movies are available up there because once a porno is approved as legal, it stays legal. So, I did some research on Canadian porn stars and discovered that Peter North is Canadian. And his real name is Alden Brown. And he did 12 gay pornos. I don't know what the big deal is. I've seen a few porno movies in the past, and I didn't care if the actresses were American. Actually, I like the Eastern European ones because they need the money so they do some sick stuff.

Let's talk about other movies. Retarded movies. I got an email from my aunt with some plea not to go see Tropic Thunder because it uses the term retard a lot. That was after bitching that Robert Downey Jr.'s character was racist because he did blackface to play a white actor portraying a black man. Now, part of me wants to see this because I think Robert Downey Jr. is a great actor and Jack Black is funny. Another part of me doesn't and it has nothing to do with retards or blackface. I don't think Ben Stiller is funny. Sure, he does funny movies, but I think they'd be funnier with someone else (he damned near ruined Dodgeball). People need to get a clue on this. Downey isn't playing a black man. He's playing a white man. I saw one person ask why Downey's character couldn't be played by a black actor. Right. As a white man, I would be offended by a black man playing a white man even if the white man is playing a black man. Come on, people. It's parodying the pretentiousness of actors. Women portray whores or fat chicks to win an Oscar. Men play retarded to get it. I think mentally challenged activists should protest Sean Penn for I Am Sam for making retarded people believe that a mentally handicapped person screwing a hooker will lead to them having a child prodigy.

But enough with that. Let's talk sports. The Olympics are still on. A big controversy is the Spanish basketball team taking a team picture while slanting their eyes (rumor is that the Spanish women's basketball team did it too; other rumor is that women actually play basketball). Well, it's a big controversy here. It doesn't seem to be doing much in Spain. Or in China. I think because political correctness isn't that big a deal there. Plus, how much can China complain? They had a bunch of kids come out in the native dress of their minority groups. Come to find out, all the kids were from the Chinese majority. That would be like having celebrating our minorities by having white kids in baggy pants and gold chains. Now, you do see that at the mall a lot, but it's not really a minority. Of course, compared to what the Chinese normally do to their minorities (see Tibetans), this isn't that big a deal. White guys acting black has an important connection. Not really, but it is ironic. A persecuted Muslim group in China are called Uighurs. It's pronounced wee-gur. That's almost wigger. See? A connection.

This is why the Brett Favre situation bugged me so much. The damned sportswriters threw away all objectivity to worship the ground he walked on like he was Barak Obama or something. In one sense, I should be glad that Peter King didn't spend half his time talking about his daughter's field hockey team and whatever overpriced coffee he was buying this week. But to call Jets' fans a disgrace for not filling the stadium for Favre's preseason debut was a joke. Gee, Brett's playing a preseason game. Did they send the uniform to Canton? He played two series with a lot of handoffs. One ended in a touchdown. The other ended in failure as Favre took two bad sacks. Real exciting. Sorry if I don't get worked up that a bunch of New Yorkers weren't concerned about watching a game that would include two thirds played by guys who won't be on the roster in two weeks.

Damned NBC & Other News

Here's the biggest problem with the NBC Olympic coverage. During the overnight and early day, they may have events on NBC, USA Network, CNBC, MSNBC, Telemundo and Oxygen (and no, I didn't add Telemundo and Oxygen to be funny). Yet, during prime time, they stick with NBC only. That means if I want to watch swimming, I have to sit through gymnastics. I'll give gymnasts credit. What they do is incredibly hard. I still haven't figured out how they can do have the high bar or rings stuff without yanking joints out of their socket (weightlifting has that covered). Still, why do I want to watch a "sport" that has an incomprehensible scoring system? I would explain it, but I can't. It's almost like you get degree of difficulty points before you even try it which means flubbing a hard attempt may still get you more points than someone who did something more mundane.

Now, the big controversy with women's gymnastics is that for the Chinese, it isn't really women's gymnastics. It's not even young lady gymnastics. Preteen gymnastics may be the better term. Accusations are flying that the Chinese were using gymnasts under the minimum age of 16. OMG. The Chinese might be cheating? Who would have thought that? And funny. Previous Chinese news articles seem to flat out say that the girls have somehow aged three years in only months. Gotta love the quote from the coach that says the government owned media would have no idea how old the government owned gymnasts were. I guess they just randomly picked ages. But don't worry. The International Gymnastics Federation is on it. A totalitarian government with a history of cheating in international athletics has given them passports for the childre..........I mean teens. Those would be impossible to fake. Just because China has done this before is no reason to assume they'd do it at an Olympics when winning the most gold medals is a point of national pride. That'd be silly. Dan Wetzel thinks the IOC needs to do a real investigation (ain't gonna happen) in order to maintain any credibility. He also seems to recognize (as I have) that we're already beyond them having any credibility.

Let's be serious. I don't normally watch women's gymnastics. I may be a pervert but sexualized girls too young to drive aren't my thing. However, while waiting for one of the swimming events, I caught part of the team all around and thought two things. One, if the U.S. and Chinese were the two best, that's sad. It was a match to see who screwed up the least. I've been drunk and looked steadier than the girls from both teams did on the balance beam. Two, I didn't know there was an age requirement and my first thought about the Chinese team was they had a bunch 0f 12 year olds. I didn't think that when I looked at any other squad. Even worse is the fact that the commentators mentioned (without a hint of disapproval which shows how much NBC is bowing and scraping to the Chinese) that three year olds who seem to have gymnastic skills are recruited (ripped from their homes) and sent to special sports academies (gulags). Whether they want to or not. But I'm sure veritable serfdom is part of the Olympic ideal.

China has lots of problems with exploiting children. Another controversy was the news that the cute little girl who sang some song that I didn't see because I skipped the opening ceremony didn't really sing. She was lip syncing to another little girl who was deemed too fat and ugly to be seen. So, they told one that her singing sucked and the other would make viewers ill if she was seen. Classy. I like how the ugly one said it was just an honor to sing. Sure it was. Plus, if she said anything else, Daddy is shipped off to a work camp.

NBC is probably making a lot of money with a pedophile fan base. Like this guy who was busted for trying to hook up with (what he thought was) a 14 year old girl. While wearing a shirt that said "World's Greatest Dad". Best part? They aren't even sure he has children. But maybe he does. Maybe he was thinking about them. Maybe they want a new mommy and he decided to get them one that they could relate to. Or maybe he likes porking teenagers.

But let's give some equal time to the women perverts. A baby sitter has been arrested for having sex with one of her charges. A 14 year old boy. I'm trying to figure out how big a dumbass you have to be to still have a baby sitter at age 14.

But enough about underage types. Let's talk about women. Specifically those with breasts. Big heaving breasts. Cracked did a list of "The 6 Most Gratuitously Cleavaged Women On TV". First thought questioned whether it could ever be gratuitous. Until I saw that Mrs. Garrett was on the list, and had to agree. And I never watched Ghost Whisperer because the plot seemed...well, stupid. However, if Jennifer Love Hewitt is running around in a bra, I may have to check it out. Or record it so I can fast forward to parts where she's running around in a bra.

I think the Telegraph could have used a gratuitous cleavage picture for this story about German policewomen being issued bulletproof bras. What? They couldn't find a big titted Teutonic cop to pose for a picture wearing it? What I found most interesting thing about the story is it mentioned their normal bullet proof vests do stop the bullets, but regular bras had plastic and metal that poked the women when the vest got hit. Are that many German policewomen getting shot?

This breast story is even worse. Some professor at Iowa was arrested for improving coed grades if they'd let him motor boat their knockers. Yeah, bet attractive big busted women often struggled in the early portion of his classes. While I'm often viewed as a sexist, I have to question why he was only charged with accepting bribes since there seemed to be some coercion (and flat out grabbiness) involved. Plus, if it was just simply accepting a bribe, then shouldn't the women be charged with giving one? However, what really frosts me is that it's a story about boob fondling and the only picture is of the perv. Surely they have file shots of boob fondling they could have used.

But I can talk about more than boobs. An EKU student made national news after being kicked out of a mall over her whorish outfit. Apparently she wasn't wearing the required lower hair net with that dress. Actually, I've never been to the Richmond mall. Is it common to go shopping in a cocktail dress? Fortunately, she's only an EKU student, not a graduate or I would be telling everyone I know with an EKU degree to hide it because they've got some stupid people. The local rag ran the headline "You can buy it at the mall, but you can't wear it there." Well, Fayette Mall has a Victoria's Secret, but as much as I might like to see (some) women prancing around the mall in their outfits, that might be inappropriate. However, the stupidest part is the girl thinks it's illegal discrimination and is talking about suing. Yes, it's only been a few years since women in short dresses were forbidden to vote. Does EKU require government class? She needs to take them to learn (maybe) that you can't discriminate over certain things (race, gender), but short dresses aren't among them. Since the mall is a private entity, it can enforce a dress code no matter how silly that is, so as long as the mall also throws out men wearing short skirts (and they better), she can't really claim discrimination. So, in answer to her sister's question, that gives the mall security guard the right to escort her from the mall.

In other clothing bans, Crocs have been banned from an Austrian hospital due to their ability to build up static electricity which could break electronics or kill people. How about banning them because they look really stupid?

One last thought on the Olympics. It's very impressive what Michael Phelps is doing, but watching the swim meet has led to confusion. How the Hell did they pick the winners before the electronic touch wall? Some of these races are decided by a tenth of a second. How could someone see through splashing water to decide who touched first?

Pregnant Hookers & Other News

One was eight months pregnant. Another was six. Another was three. The fourth whore busted in a Missouri prostitution ring wasn't pregnant at all. What the Hell is up with her? This sounds like they cater to a fetish crowd. Is she fat and passing herself off as pregnant? The story leaves so much out. Do you have to pay more for the one who is about to drop? Did they get pregnant on the job? Did they get knocked up intentionally to attract real degenerates? Did they meet at the doctor's office? After reading this story, the first thing I did was check to see how far away it was from my parents home in southeast Missouri. For research reasons of course. The next thing I did was look for better pictures. Stupid news only has pictures of them looking away, and they certainly didn't look like crack whores from that angle. Still, I think it's newsworthy to see it all to know whether it's worth paying for.

They should have just said they were running a church and people were donating, not paying for sex. This guy tried it. Didn't work, but can't fault him for trying. I wonder if he said his massage parlors were just "laying on of hands"?

And it's not like it's the worst thing a pseudo-preacher has been accused of lately. Some dude in Alabama was being investigated for sexually abusing his daughter and she let it slip that he'd been caught by her mother three years before, so he killed his wife and stuffed her in a freezer. They arrested him while preaching at a revival which had to be somewhat embarrassing. I do understand putting the body in the freezer. You leave them out, they begin to smell. I've thought of buying a freezer for just that reason. However, it's pretty stupid to leave the body in there for three years when there was a witness. A witness who may not like you due to your propensity to spend her formative years sticking things into places on her that she may not have necessarily wanted filled.

This is promising news. A new drug apparently is working wonders against Alzheimer's in tests. The people in the drug group had their mental decline stopped while the ones in the placebo group kept going downhill. How would you like to be the ones in the placebo group? Talk about losing the lottery.

Down in Texas, a bunch of teenage cheerleaders decided to see how many of them would fit in an elevator. The number was 26. And then it got stuck for a half hour. That must have been quite the scene as a bunch of nubile, young women in short tight outfits were crammed in a tight spot rubbing up against each other.............I'll be back in a sec...........okay, this was a highly dangerous stunt and they should have known better.

Maybe it was hazing. That seems to be common in Texas cheerleading. This story about it is missing some detail. First, it has this marvelous quote, "When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl's head, that's just disgusting." Well, I want to know what was beeped because it can only be a couple of things (which are disgusting without putting it on someone's head). However, the level of disgusting could go up. Then it mentions flicking body parts. Which parts? Inquiring minds want to know.

Speaking of inquiring minds, anyone see where John Edwards finally came out and admitted the National Enquirer was right when it accused him of an affair with a campaign staffer? This was the worst kept secret of the year even if the major news agencies embargoed the story. Let's think about it for a minute. He's paying some amateur film maker that he met in a bar named Rielle Hunter to make a few web videos for his campaign. Phil's videos were of higher quality, yet the woman was getting six figures? Right. Nothing was going on. I like how Edwards stressed that his wife's cancer was in remission. That makes it so much better. I'm not sure if it wouldn't have been better to say it was going on after remission. At least then he could claim he didn't want to badger a woman undergoing cancer treatment for sex. Because he's a gentleman. He says the love child isn't his and he'd willing to take a paternity test to prove it if the mistress wasn't be so darn stubborn about it. He knows this because he hadn't screwed her since 2006. I certainly believe that. It makes perfect sense that a philanderer would have spent several hours late at night with his former mistress at an expensive hotel without any sex occurring.

I used to think having an affair with a big name Democratic politician was a bad thing, but that's based on Bill Clinton's bimbo eruptions. Spin control was always labeling them trailer trash or stalkers until things like audio tapes or spunk globs pretty much killed his denials. I thought this one was going to follow that pattern. The first thing Edwards did was find a fall guy......I mean married (with kids) campaign aide to say he was the real father. He was apparently sure enough of that to move her into his neighborhood and invite her over for dinner with the wife and kiddies, but not sure enough to actually put his name on the birth certificate. Then Edwards says he doesn't love Hunter so she's now labeled a piece of tail giving it up for the whole campaign. But I was wrong. Apparently, Clinton's bimbos made the mistake of not getting pregnant. One of Edwards big money men is apparently paying hush money.......I mean helping out his dear friend by moving her out of the North Carolina limelight. And into a $3 million house on the coast. What a true friend.

Since I find Edwards to be a condescending prick, this whole thing is humorous to me. Even better is the major news organizations trying to explain how they got scooped by the National Enquirer. And then proceeded to ignore it. I guess the first is that it's his private life, but that doesn't wash when he uses his marriage as a prop (or his wife's cancer to raise campaign money). A couple of others that I've seen were that Edwards was no longer a candidate and besides they needed absolute proof. Right. Edwards was now retired. Well, except for the fact that he was on Barak Obama's VP shortlist and frontrunner for his Attorney General if that didn't work out. As for proof, it's easy not to find it if you don't look. Plus, that didn't seem to matter to the New York Times when they insinuated a McCain affair with no proof whatsoever. Still, my favorite excuse for reporters not looking into this was the fact that Edwards had originally told them he didn't have an affair. Oh well, then of course he must not have. One gullible moron actually feels like a victim. Gee, maybe you should change your policy of accepting anything a Democratic politician says at face value.

Some mega-church's preacher's wife is being sued for shoving a flight attendant. Not sure it's something that should be done, but I am definitely sure it's not worth 10% of someone's net worth. Actually, I didn't really care about this story until I got to the part where the stewardess is claiming this has led to "anxiety and hemorrhoids" along with affecting her faith. Well, if your faith is affected by the trophy wife of some preacher with a starter mullet, your faith wasn't in good shape to begin with. It's the hemorrhoids that get me. How does being shoved give you hemorrhoids? Maybe she just needs to eat more fruit.

Russia is invading Georgia. I'm not sure if they've made it to Dunwoody yet. Maybe after watching the Beijing Olympics, Russia thinks this will help their next bid. This is a pretty serious state of affairs. Russia is trying to claim they were protecting ethnic minorities in northern Georgia (which is the same claim Hitler made when invading Poland), but it appears to be a move to re-establish dominance over a neighboring country that was allying itself with Europe and the US. Which brings me to my big question? When the U.S. invaded Iraq, there were large anti-American demonstrations all over Europe. Will we see the same over this? I realize there are big differences. We invaded a peaceful country run by a benevolent patriarch elected with 99% of the vote and only attacked his neighbors out of concern for them. Russia is invading a country run by a bunch of thugs who had the gall to try to align themselves with those repressive dictatorships of western Europe.

When I first read that Australia was banning "designer vaginas", I thought "huh?". I had never heard of designer vaginas and assumed they were those foam things sold at Hustler Hollywood. But apparently women can have surgery to tighten things up down there. I wonder if they can get it done to look like a celebrities like they do with some nose jobs. After all, from what I've heard, those foam things at Hustler Hollywood are often patterned after some porn star. Which doesn't really make sense because wouldn't the opening be the size of a KFC bucket?

Some fat guy on death row is claiming his weight means that he shouldn't be put to death by lethal injection. I've used my weight as an excuse for things, but mostly along the lines of "I can't help you carry that upstairs, I get winded." This guy raped and murdered two women. I've got no problem with using another method. Like throwing his ass off a building. But I really don't see a problem with lethal injection for him. Supposedly, being fat means that it'll be harder to find his veins (boo friggin hoo) and they may not give him enough anesthesia (like I care). Fine. Shove a hose up his ass and fill him with a power washer. He'll get enough then.

The Olympics Vs. the NFL

The Olympics have become such a joke. I've always watched them because they show sports that you can't normally see (still waiting for hot oil wrestling though). Yet, the whole atmosphere sucks due the little fact that I've mentioned before - putting the games in China was stupid. And this is from a guy who hasn't bought into the "Olympic Spirit" myth in years. I already assume there is a high level of doping. I know money is the main driving force as big money Olympic sponsors want access to a billion screaming Chinamen. I know it will be overtly political no matter how many people say the Games are above it. And as much as I hate to agree with Gregg Doyel, I'm in complete agreement that some American will probably get screwed. Still, I still can't get over giving the Olympics to a country that seems to think having them is a good excuse to round up anyone who might think about protesting (or engaging in an innocuous exercise based religion) while at the same time thinking the prestige from their hosting duties will make others forget their bitter repression and arming of genocidal African dictators.

But it's not just the political and religious repression that makes me think it's dumb to let China host the Olympics. There's also the athletic part to it. To begin with, China controls every aspect of their athletes' lives which seems like that "governmental interference" that the International Olympic Committee so opposes. Also, one of the biggest scandals for the Olympics involves performance enhancing drugs. Guess which country is the place to go for your steroid supplies? As Doyel pointed out, the U.S. (and pretty much every other country) has had problems with steroid abusing athletes, but the U.S. government actually led the way for our cleanup. The way Chinese athletes get busted, it's pretty obvious that the government there not only sanctions the use, but they probably encourage it. By encourage, I mean forcibly inject it. And I don't think it's stopped. I think the WaPo writers missed a major point in their article about China's desire to win the most gold medals. Sure, I'll be sorely disappointed if China wins the most golds through their domination of badminton and ping pong. If we're going to include family reunion games, how about adding Lawn Darts to the 2012 Olympics? But the point the writers missed is that China will be sending a large contingent of "barely known" athletes. Why are they barely known? Probably skipped international competitions. Why would they do that? So, they can dope while training and not worry about drug tests.

There was a bit of controversy when the U.S. Olympic team said they would be bringing their own meat for their athletes because of concerns of stuff the Chinese inject into their's. Hell, I think the U.S. is stupid not to bring all their food with them. I wouldn't put it past China to spike the food with something to cause a failed drug test. Which is a whole nother problem as the IOC really didn't seem to care about athlete health and safety. How great an idea was it to put the Olympics in a country with unreliable food supply and in a city with some of the worst air quality in the world?

The biggest travesty is no matter what happens, the IOC takes the side of China. Censor the press? Go ahead. Deny open access that was previously promised? No concern. Crack down on human rights' activists, democracy organizers and people who had their ancestral home taken away? Pardon me while I stick my head in the sand. Deny a visa to a former Olympic gold medalist? Well, Joey Cheek was a winter Olympic athlete so he doesn't need to be here anyway. Smog so thick that it's a physical presence? Agree with the Chinese government that it's only mist (obviously water molecules in China are gray and have burnt cinders in them), and besides, it's not that bad for you. Sure, it's just mist. No big deal. As I said, it's obvious that the health and safety of the athletes was the primary concern of the IOC when they picked Beijing.

I've mentioned before about the hypocrisy where Iraq has been banned from the Olympics due to what the IOC considered excessive government interference which they never did when Uday Hussein was the head of the Iraqi Olympic committee and used torture as motivation. And as I pointed out above, why isn't it considered excessive government interference when China basically owns their athletes? Or how about this little nugget? For the second straight Olympics, an Iranian athlete has withdrawn from an event rather than face an Israeli (Iran says it's done in protest; I think they don't want to lose to a Jew). That doesn't seem to be in the spirit of the Olympics. After doing it in 2004, why was Iran allowed back into the Olympics? Things like this is why I think the Olympics are run by a bunch of jackasses. That's why I will watch some events, but I'll still spend more time watching preseason football.

Plus, the NFL has more drama right now thanks to Brett Favre. I've always been a fan, but he really looked bad in that whole situation that led to him being traded to the New York Jets. To begin with, I don't believe anything he says anymore. He's trying to float the idea that he wanted to come back to play for the Packers, but those bastards didn't want him so that's why he wanted to play elsewhere. I think if you look through the timeline, it's pretty obvious that he was trying to get out from early on. We know that he tried to unretire around the draft and then changed his mind again. Then the LA Times reported in early April that Favre's agent was shopping him to other teams. So, it wasn't a case of Favre wanting only to return to Green Bay, and then asking for his release because they had moved on. When he did an interview with ass-kissing Greta Van Susteran, he trashed the GM. That's the type of behavior that comes from someone trying to lose their job. Try it with your boss. So, I truly believe that he has wanted out of Green Bay and into Minnesota since the end of the season.

So, why would Favre want out considering that Green Bay lost in overtime of the NFC Championship game? I think the interview trashing of the GM wasn't just to get released. There definitely is a dislike between Favre and Ted Thompson who apparently doesn't idolize Favre above all others. I think Favre's ego thinks he's the main reason they got there, and that he can do it with another team. Why Minnesota? They have a good defense already. A good offensive line in place. They also have Adrian Peterson who, barring a sophomore slump, could be the second best running back in the NFL. I'm not sure how Peterson ran so well due to the incredibly bad quarterback play the Vikings got. Tavaris Jackson stinks. If Minnesota got a quality quarterback, they would have to be consider strong Super Bowl contenders. Plus, Favre looked like garbage in his last two games in really cold weather (loss at Chicago; NFC championship game in Green Bay). He would probably like playing late season games in a dome.

That's why it's my belief that the Packers played hardball with Favre. They weren't going to trade him to an NFC North team nor were they going to release him so he could sign with division rival Minnesota. They really weren't interested in playing him because his waffling every year somehow made them question his commitment to them. And they have to look to the future. Aaron Rodgers is a free agent in after 2009. Keep him on the bench for another two years and who knows what you have when Favre does retire for good then (or in October). Is Rodgers as good as Favre? Nobody knows. Highly unlikely that he'll have a career as good as Favre. I doubt he'll be as good this year as Favre was last year. However, he could be as good this year as Favre was the two years before that. With our short attention spans, too many people forget that 2005 and 2006 were horrible years for Favre (11 more INTs than TDs). Green Bay had to decide whether last year was the aberration or the previous two. When you're dealing with a soon-to-be 39 year old quarterback, that's a bet you might think twice about.

I thought it was cute how so many people said Green Bay should just release Favre so he could play where he wanted if they didn't want to start him. I guess the argument was that if you think he's not good enough to start for you, why would you worry about him helping another team. That's a load of BS right there. Favre could be the fifth worst starting quarterback in the NFL and still be an upgrade over Jackson in Minnesota. Teams are not going to trade value to a division rival. Kurt Warner wants to start and is ten times better than any quarterback on San Francisco's roster. There is no way Arizona trades him to the 49ers. So, it's not in the Packers interest to make Minnesota better when they don't have to. So, they pretty much shafted Favre by sending him to the Jets.

And they did shaft him. They traded him to the last place he wanted to go. While the Jets got a lot of free agent pickups in the offseason, they stank last year. A Super Bowl isn't a serious option there. Making the playoffs might be a stretch. But at that point, Favre was painted into a corner since he pontificated so much about how he just wanted to play football, and it didn't matter where (and it still wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't retire again after some more thought on this). So, he was shafted. He jacked them around so much that I can't help but think the Packer's management were happy that the Jets made the best offer. Favre screwed up their plans, their draft strategies and tried to make them look like a bunch of asses.

You know what? I don't blame them at all. Like I said, I was always a Favre fan, but I lost a lot of respect for him throughout the whole episode. It wasn't just because he appeared untrustworthy. I expect that in all the negotiations between teams and players. It was that he came off as petty and egotistical. His whining about Thompson during the Van Susteran interview was embarrassing. Favre's beef was that Thompson didn't sign players Favre wanted or hire the coach Favre wanted (that little admission probably didn't put present coach Mike McCarthy in his corner). Golly gee. I can't believe a General Manager would put the long term interests of the entire organization's above those of a player who has been ready to retire for the past four years. Sorry, Brett. I've always said the NFL is bigger than any player and that includes you.

Still, it's nice to see Youtube is getting more mileage out of the Hitler rant from Downfall. One of these days, I'm going to watch this scene with the actual subtitles.

Olympic Censorship & Other News

The Olympic committee is admitting that contrary to what China promised when they were given the 2008 games, the press will not be given unfettered access to the internet at the media center. And they definitely don't want to do it from their hotel since a Senator has revealed that China is instructing hotels to let them spy on the internet activities of guests (although my guess is that this isn't a new thing). Like, OMG, I can't believe a dictatorship that has always censored information would decide to back out of any commitments to the contrary to censor the outside world. Good news is that porn is available. I like the fact that the IOC douchebags are pretending that this was somehow negotiated although they've since flipped on this. But as I've said before, the IOC was plain stupid to give the Olympics to China. The idea that handing a giant PR prize to a dictatorship would somehow open it up more is rather ludicrous. Based on the past, they should have expected the exact opposite. Two years after Nazi Germany hosted the Olympics, the Germans celebrated with Kristallnacht. The next year, they invaded Poland which led to a localized little conflict. The IOC had already awarded Moscow the Olympics when the USSR invaded Afghanistan. Although since the Soviet Union collapsed due to crushing economic problems, maybe having to pay for a giant event like that hastened their demise. Since Russia seems to be sliding back to old style Soviet repression, maybe it's not too late to move the 2012 Olympics from London to Moscow.

We are talking about the IOC. They recently banned Iraq from this year's games due to government interference in the local Olympic committee. Because appointing your own Olympic officials is such a horrible thing that a country deserves banishment, but if a dictator's son runs the committee and likes to torture athletes, welcome aboard.

I don't really like baseball. I don't really like the Yankees. I'm actually indifferent about Alex Rodriguez. Yet, I was happy to read that he wants his prenup to be enforced. And not just because I speculated once that he must have a good one. Let's face it. Based on her previous behavior at allegations of his philandering, she was well aware of what type of relationship she was in. He'll stick his dick anywhere. But that has nothing to do with it. I just don't want her to cash in based on nothing other than the fact that she got a rich man to marry her. They've been married for six years. He was a major star long before that. What has she really done to add to the family income?

I was trolling through some British news websites in my usual hunt for stories with scantily clad women that they were trying to pass themselves off as news and ran across this heart-warming story about a woman born with one arm who has won a competition for the best disabled model in England. After reading it, my first thought was obviously "I'd hit that". Does that make me a bad person? Well, a worse person than my reputation already is?

A couple of good shooting stories. First one is a man who shot his wife while trying to shoot the fox eating her leg. But it was an accident. Why do I get the feeling that someone down the road is going to get a fox to attack his wife and "accidentally" shoot her in the head? Second story was a guy shooting his lawnmower when it didn't work. Shockingly, drunkenness may have been involved. Of course, I would have viewed it differently. Lawnmower doesn't work? Great. Means I don't have to mow the grass.

Screech is writing a book about Saved By The Bell. Now, I watched the show with some minor amusement, but unless I find out that the guy who played Mr. Belding nailed a couple of the actresses, I don't really care. Yet, some people probably do. Which is what I find interesting. Why did Screech think of doing a sex tape to earn money before writing a book?

Newest info from the Florida missing toddler case is that her lying bitch of a mother was photographed at a club party after the child disappeared. Kind of makes you wish they'd bring back the rubber hoses for questioning.

There are people in Germany who think the voting age should be dropped to......well, infants. Are these people retarded? Have they never been around children? I've previously made it known what I thought of young voters who were at least voting age. Now they want to go younger? Again, are these people retarded? We're talking about giving the vote to people who can't decide what juice box they want. Or know how to use the toilet.

Now, my laziness when it comes to getting up early and exercising at any time means a military career was out of the question, but since many family members served, I take exception when some stupid bastards don't recognize the sacrifices made by members of the military. Like video taping themselves having sex on a memorial to Canadian soldiers who died in France during World War I. I realize that people in France can be confused about the concept of victory monuments, but they still should have more respect. Plus, what's the friggin' point of having it there? When I watch porn (which only happens very frequently), I don't really look to see if they are having sex on something I recognize. Unless it's the hood of my car, because that can damage the paint job. Since it's a Canadian monument, my suggestion to stop that behavior is to play Celine Dion songs 24/7. That will kill the mood.

DRUNK BRITISH CHICKS: Usually that phrase isn't scary (outside of hygiene issues). It can often be quite fun. Unless it's a couple of stupid British chicks who get drunk on a plane and try to open a door. I like the fact that the report says they "may" be charged. WTF? Trying to open the door at 30,000 feet "MAY" lead to charges? How is that not a slam dunk indictment? Do you wait until she gets the door open before you indict? Hate to tell you, but at that point, she won't be worrying about the legal system.

Ali Lohan (sister of famous actress/whore/lesbian/junkie Lindsay) auditioned for some horror flick (which I'm sure will be Oscar nominated). Apparently the producer running the audition was some dude who normally produces porn, but must be trying to mainstream himself. Reportedly, Ali's mother, Momma-Needs-A-New-Meal-Ticket, is pretty angry about it. Porn is such an exploitive industry. Unlike doing a reality show around your 14 year old daughter even though your last project was her older sister who became an actress/whore/lesbian/junkie.