Kentucky Derby Pick & Other News

They scratched morning line favorite I Want Revenge, but I wasn't going to bet on him anyway. However, having him scratched means my pick will probably go off at shorter odds. Which sucks. Although with 18 other horses to beat, still a good chance of losing so losing at 10-1 odds is the same as losing with 4-1 odds. Actually, I was able to throw out most of the horses pretty quickly. Not counting I Want Revenge, the only horses I seriously considered were (in order of post position) Hold Me Back, Friesan Fire, Papa Clem, Chocolate Candy, General Quarters, Dunkirk and Pioneer of the Nile. After watching Colonel John not run well at last year's Derby, I'm avoiding horses that have never run on dirt. So as much as I like Pioneer of the Nile (and think he could make the dirt move pretty well), I got to toss him. And that means Chocolate Candy goes too. Hold Me Back had me interested as a long shot, because he can stalk a fast pace, but I don't see a fast pace. And he hasn't beat anyone. General Quarters ran well in the Bluegrass Stakes, but that's synthetic which isn't good, but he has dirt wins too. But they weren't top dirt races, and his pedigree doesn't make me confident of his ability at the distance. Papa Clem has me very interested because he's probably going to be a price. And while he has only really beaten one top horse (Old Fashioned who has been retired), he has run well going against other top horses and does as well on dirt as he does synthetic. If better horses get stuck in traffic, he could have a shot. He's not my choice, but I'll certainly consider him for place/show and in exotics.

That leaves Friesan Fire and Dunkirk. Dunkirk lost the Florida Derby, but barely. And I think he'll do better on Churchill's track. I really liked the way he finished. The downside is the horse didn't run as a two year old which is a concern. The trainer is Todd Pletcher who is one of the best in the business, but has struggled in the Derby. Jockey Edgar Prado is one of my favorites, one of the best and has won the Derby, but I lost every time I bet him at the Keeneland spring meet. Still, he seems to be doing good at Churchill. Friesan Fire won the Louisiana Derby, and the track there is almost exactly like Churchill. And he's won in the mud which may be important here. He's a stalker and has a good post for that. The only concerns are a seven week layoff since his last race. Some are concerned about the distance, but I'm not sure that'll be an issue. So, who to bet? Leaning towards Dunkirk because I can probably get a better price. But I think I'll wait until I see them on the track and decide which horse looks ready to run.

This is beyond a doubt one of the greatest health stories ever. Scientists have found that one of the best cures for a hangover is a bacon sandwich. Because everything is better with bacon. Well, actually it's because of some amino acid thing, but still, it's just another excuse to eat bacon. In fact, I think I'll eat more bacon as a preventive measure to hangovers. Even if I'm not drinking. Contrary to some opinion, I'm not always drunk.

A report came out that the father of one of the children who starred in Slumdog Millionaire tried to sell her. How come when Madonna uses her money to take a child with a family, it's called adopting? Personally, I think the story is a sham, but let's look at it closer. The producers of the movie decided to leave their slum dwelling child actors in the slums because giving them very much money would have a "transformative impact on their lives." That's true. They might move to a house that isn't next to an open sewer. I'm always happy to see wealthy people concerned about the well-being of poor people having money. Sure, they're saving some money for them when they reach 18. Assuming they can reach the age of 18 while living in a slum. And besides, why shouldn't her father sell her? She's peaked. Living in a slum is hard. She'll become less cute. Lose her earning power. Sell when her price is high.

How do they deal with ground squirrels in the American northwest? They blow them up. Probably while drinking coffee and wearing flannel.

I've joked before about the problems Obama appointees have had with tax issues (although I still think it's absurd that the Sec'y of Treasury didn't pay his taxes since he's over the IRS). For all the talk of professionalism, it makes them look like buffoons for not vetting them well. Then I read this little blurb. One of the members of the auto task force (you know the one that kept GM and Chrysler from going into bankruptcy by giving them a bunch of money which led to them to going into bankruptcy or about to) was under investigation by the SEC for alleged kickbacks. But the good news is that he was vetted. But still put in charge of the task force. Hmmmm. That may be more amateurish.

General Motors and Chrysler have either declared bankruptcy or plan on doing so. GM hasn't yet, but they will if their restructuring doesn't go. And if it does, the feds and United Auto Workers will own 89 percent of the company. Chrysler already did the bankruptcy route. After giving up over half the company to the UAW. Supposedly, the deal with Fiat will come in to run things and make the company a success again by bringing in their technology and knowledge. Because with all the success that import cars have had in the U.S., none have been better than Fiat. Well, except Toyota, Honda, Volkswagon and well, do they even sell Fiats here?

Where does that leave Ford who wasn't bailed out by the government? In the short term, they're screwed. Good luck trying to win federal government contracts against General Motors. Oh, and your two main competitors are owned by the union that represents your employees. I'm sure their national leadership will be more than happy to make concessions for Ford. Now, long term, Ford is....well, probably still screwed. Sure, union or government owned industries generally don't work. They're inefficient and money losing operations. However, Ford is already struggling. Since the government has a stake in those companies, they can handle the losses for awhile in hopes that things turn around. Ford may not have that kind of time.

Why do I think government operations are inefficient? They have a long history of proving it. Want a real good example? In Hawaii, an access road was damaged by flooding in a state park. The state didn't think they could repair it for less than $4 million or less than two years. So, local people whose livelihood relied on the park being open fixed it themselves in a very short time. I imagine for a lot less than $4 million.

This is good. Sweden taxes stripper webcams. And thinks about 500 strippers may be skimping on their taxes. To the tune of 40 million Swedish kroner which may or may not be actual money. But according to a currency exchange rate, that's about $5 million in lost taxes. That doesn't really pass the smell test. That'd be $10K in lost taxes per stripper. I really doubt they're pulling in enough cash to meet that amount in taxes. But the real joke is that they're looking for Swedish strippers by manual searches of webcams. So, someone has to surf sex webcams and try to match them with known Swedish strippers. Where do I apply?

I haven't really paid much attention to that Sarah Boyle chick who wowed people on that show Britian's Got Talent because she sang well even though she was old, frumpy and a virgin which some apparently think is related to singing ability. Personally, I find it hard to believe that the producers of the show weren't aware of how well she'd do, but I don't really care because these type of shows are pretty dumb. Then I read this. Some "film" studio is offering her a million bucks to be in a porno. As I hold back the bile rising in the back of my throat, I have to ask who the Hell would want to watch that?

When will the nanny state's war on clowns cease? In England, a circus clown was told he couldn't wear clown shoes because they weren't safe. Does this mean people will really big feet shouldn't go to work? Give me a break. This guy broke his foot doing a stunt that could have happened no matter what shoes he was wearing. What's next? Making trapeze artists wear hard hats? Oh wait.....

A couple in Singapore were arrested for walking naked in a bar. I find a couple of interesting points from the article. One is that the writer felt the need to point out how prudish Singapore it. Which is true, but I have a feeling that walking naked through a bar might cause legal issues in Lexington. Unless it's a hot chick. Then it's acceptable. The other point the writer made was to say they showed up wearing clothes to their court appearance. Yeah, but my assumption was they'd show up naked to it. We've got some Pulitzer material right here.

Dead Pirates & Other News

While I don't think much of Barak Obama's foreign policy, I will give him credit on the Somali hostage situation. Bullets to the head pretty much ended that hijacking. Now, I find it hard to believe that Obama really approved the actual operation as claimed. As in, he told the Navy to shoot them in the head if they had a shot. In fact, it makes more sense that he only allowed action if the captain was in imminent danger. Which seems like it should have been standard operating procedure. But at least he did allow them to shoot pirates if they were going to shoot the captain. And to be honest, I'm just glad that for once an American President can have third world thugs gunned down without criticism. I can only imagine what would have happened under a recent administration.

But if Obama is going to take the credit for the successful operation, I expect a lot more from him now. To begin with, put the only bastard you caught in jail for life. No plea bargains. And if he's acquitted (he will be tried in NYC), drop him off where he was captured. From a plane. Don't be like Canada who captured a bunch and let them go (that'll show 'em). Actually, there are two things that need to be done. Attack them before they get to sea. They know what ports they use. Blockade the ports, and if you see any boat coming from Somalia with guns, sink it. That's how the Royal Navy ended piracy in the Caribbean. Or how about arming the ships? These guys are in speedboats. Do you think they'll keep coming if you blast them with a .50 caliber machine gun?

Now is it fair to be suspect of Obama's foreign policy decisions? Maybe. Let's see, he reacts to a North Korean missile test by asking the UN for more sanctions in addition to the ones that North Korea had been ignoring already. Blandly took a tongue lashing from tinpot dictators. He also lifted some economic restrictions on Cuba, and then thought Cuba might want to release some political prisoners. Silly me. Since lifting the restrictions could easily pour a lot of hard cash into Cuba, I would have thought about asking them to release them in exchange for lifting the restrictions. What incentive does Cuba have to do it now? Oh right, Obama asked them to. That'll work. But at least he is "deeply disappointed" that an American journalist has been jailed on trumped up charges. I imagine his response will be a sternly worded letter and a care package of smokes. Especially when his previous efforts with Iran seems to consist of asking the only pro-American country in the Middle East to capitulate to the demands of anti-American groups in order for the U.S. to help them keep from getting nuked by Iran. Almost makes you long for the days of Jimmy Carter's hard edged diplomacy.

But let's look at some other things. Like a prostitution story because we all like hooker tales. This one is a strange one. Woman breaks into an apartment. Demands the men there pay her for sex. Ten dollars. Which looking at the picture may be too much. They call the cops instead and she's charged with solicitation. I have to wonder if she'd done this a lot and they were just fed up. Calling the cops is such a hassle. There were three of them. Everyone chip in a few bucks and have one of them take one for the team.

A university in Taiwan is proving that the U.S. doesn't have the market cornered on silly, wasteful classes. They have a class to learn "how to appreciate and analyse porn movies." Not sure I'd want to sit in front of the guy who appreciates it too much. What's the deal with these classes? What do you analyze on this? "Look at his aim. Didn't get any in her eye." Give me a break. And why take it? It's not like it was during my college days when there was no internet porn. And one schmuck is worried what his parents will say if he does well in the class. I'd be more concerned with not doing well because they'll know he spent the whole semester spanking his monkey instead of analyzing.

And to prove I can defend Barak Obama, I will. Sure, I ridiculed him for giving the Prime Minister some DVDs as a gift. Especially when it was found they didn't work in England. But I don't have a problem with him giving the Queen of England an iPod. To begin with, the gift she gives everyone is pretty damned egotistical. An autographed picture in a silver frame? Is she that out of touch with reality that she thinks that's what everyone wants? I think Frank Drebin said it best.



And a sad death to report. Marilyn Chambers who probably caused several cases of teenage carpal tunnel syndrome has passed away. I clicked on the video. It wasn't what I was hoping for. She was looking bad. All used up and knockers almost on the floor (not often I think a female porn star needs to zip up her jacket). And apparently not doing all that well. She was found in her mobile home. So sad when a cultural icon falls on such hard times.

Some hack psychiatrist is suggesting that the recession may make us happier. I know I'm popping wood.

God, I wish I could play the guitar.

Did anyone see where the government is thinking that GM should go into bankruptcy? I'm so glad the feds loaned them all that money. If they were smart, they'd run an ad campaign around those loans. Tell Americans that by buying GM cars, they can help the company pay back the loans.

A 53 year old woman got busted for reckless driving when she was pulled over doing 103 mph. With her grandson in the car. Who she was teaching not to drive that fast. With those genetics, that kid probably can't remember anything. Still probably wasn't as bad as the Norwegian who got busted for driving 123 kph. While having sex with his girlfriend. The position sounds like reverse cowgirl. Wait a minute. That's not even 80 mph. Sad day in this world when you can't get your rocks off while doing about 75 mph.

When I first heard that Madonna fell off a horse, my first thought was wondering if she was strapped on underneath.

Maybe this should have been near the pirate story. Two people are dead. From a sword fight. In Indiana. Here is the line that says it all. "That escalated when one of the men grabbed a sword, prompting the other man to also brandish a sword." Are Hoosiers now walking around with swords in case they need to fight a duel?

Who among us hasn't passed out on the crapper after taking too many prescription drugs and washing them down with bourbon? And then let the 2 year old we were babysitting wander out into a alligator infested canal? Actually, that never happened to me. Nobody is stupid enough to let me babysit a 2 year old.

What is with people going to some wannabe doctor for plastic surgery? A couple of months ago it was silicone injections in the ass. Now, it's boob jobs. With vet equipment. How stupid can you be? You think getting a boob job from some guy working out of a dirty house with pets running around is a good idea? I'm going to pretend to be a plastic surgeon. Not to inject people with silicone because that sounds gross. I'll just do pre-op screening and feel around some.

Let's end this blog posting with a good boob story. The War on Flashing Boobies is continuing. But at least a lawyer is fighting back. When nightclub out in Denver had it's liquor license suspended because some bimbos were flashing their boobs while there, their attorney decided to fight it as a 1st Amendment case. I'm not sure the 1st Amendment should protect that, but I like the effort. And I think women should be able to make a statement by whipping out the goodies. In fact, if any woman feels like showing me her boobs at any time, I won't complain.

Catching Up

Been kind of busy so have quite a few stories saved up that I figure I need to get out. Let's start with the United Nations referring to the United States as "deadbeat" for being late on dues which our Exalted Ruler wants to take care of (too bad appropriations are done in Congress). My response probably would have been different. Would have begun with "F" and ended with "You". I might have pointed out that the U.S. doesn't owe the U.N. 22% of their budget if we don't want to pay it. It's a voluntary organization. So, we can volunteer to leave. Which isn't a bad idea. Let's see what our money is funding. Widespread corruption which doesn't seem to be much of a concern to the U.N. because they're holding up appointing a new boss for their investigation unit. The problem seems to be that competence is not valued as much as being a Ugandan woman. The U.N. also wants to spend $2 million on another racism conference. What's wrong with that? The conference on racism was so inherently racist that Obama didn't want to be involved. Oh, and if that's not enough, our money is funding sex tours for UN peacekeepers. I don't know why some members of Congress would be averse to throwing money at that organization.

Now, these are the stories you love. A Jewish restaurant mistakenly serves non-kosher hot dog and a riot almost breaks out as "a hundred enraged people" go after the cook who fights back with an electric knife. Actually, I watched the video and that hundred people seems exaggerated, but the cook did pull out the electric knife. He would have been better off with a butcher knife. Slashing blade and sharp point. Much more effective.

Here was a part of the AIG bonus foolishness that I missed. A bunch of state attorney generals are now "investigating" the AIG bonuses. By investigating, I think they mean "political grandstanding". Common sense tells me they don't have real standing since the money given to AIG was from the federal treasury. Assuming their excuse to get involved is really the reason, I must say I have a problem with a state AG thinking he has standing to investigate a company based on lost shareholder value. But 19 of them are just making hay. The 20th is a certified moron. He's the AG of Connecticut. Where a lot of the bonuses were paid. What's he want to happen? The bonuses be given back? Hey genius, if they keep the bonuses, your state gets to tax them for it. If they don't, you get nothing.

LeAnn Rimes is cheating on her husband. So sad. She was such a clean, wholesome girl. But I know where it went wrong. She did Coyote Ugly. Biggest dick tease of a movie ever. Previews made you think it was going to be a T&A fest. Nope. Cheesy girl-moves-to-big-city-to-follow-her-dreams-even-though-Bruce-Springsteen-didn't-need-to-drive-20-minutes-from-New-Jersey-to-make-it-in-the-music-business movie. When the previews show me women dancing on bars, I think full frontal female nudity is involved. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, here's a good one. A woman who is ordained in the Episcopal Church was defrocked for the minor transgression of converting to Islam. How intolerant of the church. Gee, how could that possibly affect her ministry? One person asked about it had this to say - "It's hard for me to understand how a Christian minister could have dual loyalties." Not me. She's an idiot and has no real beliefs. She'll probably be an Orthodox Jew or Scientologist next month.

Hmmm. The President flies in a pizza cook from St. Louis to serve a "casual lunch". That's the man of the people right there. I always have my pizza delivered by plane. I will now hold my breath waiting for the environmental psychos to complain about the carbon footprint generated by such an unnecessary trip when there are plenty of pizza places within walking distance (not to mention an entire cooking staff at the White House). Of course, this is the candidate who stated "We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times...and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK." Until he got to the White House where he cranked up the thermostat. I guess "we" means "people other than Barak Obama".

Speaking of rules that should only be followed by the little people, several Congressmen have been found to be taking a homestead credit for homes in Maryland. Which is a credit for home residence. Which would be fine except these Congressmen are from states other than Maryland. And based on a little technicality called the United States Constitution, their home residence should legally be in the state they represent. I do like how they contend that what they did was perfectly legal, and they were willing to pay whatever the county says they owe. Pardon me if I find them completely full of crap. They knew when they filed for it that they were claiming the house as their primary residence. If I was their constituents, I'd be asking how a man is supposed to represent me if he considers his home to be 2500 miles away and just rents an apartment for the few times he comes around.

A deadly spider may or may not have been found at a Whole Foods Store. I don't care. I will now avoid health food. Well, I won't start buying health food. But that's neither here nor there. The part that caught my attention was the statement that its bite will cause men to have an erection. Man, I must have been bit a lot when I was in high school.

I've never been that big a fan of video games, but I'm wondering if I've just been playing with the wrong people.

Man, what a relief this news story is. Here I was wasting all my time doing the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper. Now some professor has come up with an algorithm that will allow people to solve a puzzle in just quite a bit more time than normal. Truthfully, I find both sides to be rather stupid. The Sudoku lovers are in a tizzy because it'll spoil their game. Well, not really since you don't have to use it. Some people can still do math in their head (I know it's a stretch to believe). As for the guy who did it, doesn't he feel like he wasted a lot of time? He came up with a more inefficient way of solving a puzzle. He really should be more involved in government work.

Normally, I find stories about pornography to be interesting and insightful. Well, usually just amusing. A female pilot won a settlement because she kept finding pornography (actually sounds like naked pictures of women) in the cockpit of planes that she flew. Apparently, her pre-flight check included searching every nook and cranny for leftover pornography. She doesn't know how lucky she is. I was in high school in the pre-internet days. Does she not know how valuable "found" pornography was? Now, I would prefer my pilots be more professional than looking at dirty pictures while flying. However, I'm glad the bitch is out of the cockpit. She claimed that finding pornography made her go on meds and have to stop flying. Yeah, that's who I want flying my plane. Someone who is so mentally fragile that a picture of some chick fishhooking her crotch will give her the shakes. Wonder what would have happened if she'd been on Flight 1549. She probably would have tried a belly landing on top of an apartment complex. She probably put that crap there herself just so she could sue.

And much like finding someone I wouldn't want as a pilot, I've found someone I wouldn't want as a shrink. But I didn't need to see a picture of a 61 year old psychiatrist doing blow off her leg to know she would never handle my mental health (or lack of). The fact that she was Anna Nicole Smith's psychiatrist pretty much lets me know her competence level.

There are certain places in the world that you begin to think that they deserve whatever happens to them. Four Oakland police officers were killed by some scumbag criminal. How did citizens of this city respond? Marched in support of the scumbag. Want to know why this scumbag probably did it? Probably because he knew the cops were looking for him over a small matter of raping a 12 year old. Well done, morons of Oakland. Congrats on having the Raiders. Your sorry ass city deserves it.

I was driving down Versailles Road the other day and saw something I never thought I would see. A slightly banged up, gray Chevette. With an antique car tag. One of those that usually is only seen on classic cars. I guess it's technically an antique car. I think the criteria is that it has to be 20 years old and since GM stopped making that POS in 1986, it has to be that old. To be honest, I'm shocked it was still running.

I've already pointed out that I can't take Oakland seriously as a city. Nor can I take the state that it's in seriously either. California is actually thinking about banning black cars. It has something to do with global warming which is now called climate change because we are no longer warming and to continue to warn about warming that isn't happening might seem silly to rational people. Climate change can still be used because the earth's climate has changed drastically throughout history with no help at all from us. Want to know who the happiest people are about this latest nonsense from the land of wackjobs? Car dealers just across the border in other states.

Some British newspaper ran a piece about Rod Stewart and his wife who may have a name but I don't really care wanting to put their child in some private English school. Which is something else I don't care about. The only interest I had was when I saw the picture. Good lord, look at the nipples on that woman. And Stewart better watch out. They're at eye level and with those nipples jutting out like that, he could get his eye poked out. Whenever I see an unattractive singer with something like that, I curse this horrible singing voice I have.

Billy Clyde

How sweet was it to be a UL fan on Friday. UL puts an absolute beatdown on Arizona (told you they didn't belong in the tournament) in the Sweet Sixteen (for UK fans, that's part of the NCAA tournament) while dysfunctional UK is firing their coach after only two years which means paying some cash to two guys. I'm not sure that Gillispie was that good of a coach. His decision making seemed flawed. Recruiting an eighth grader makes me wonder where he got his rep for recruiting. But who knows. Most people don't think two years is enough for a coach to be given a chance. I'm not in that group because of a certain football coach who just finished his second year up the road and should have been fired. Who knew Edgar Sosa missing a shot would be so bad for UK. If he hits a three to beat Texas A&M two years ago, the Aggies don't go to the Sweet Sixteen and I bet UK doesn't hire Gillispie. Now, I'm sure UK will continue the mantra that the firing was not about his record as coach. While I'm sure that's part of it to an extent, does anyone believe that if UK had made the NCAA tournament that I'd be discussing the firing of Billy Gillispie right now? He had real poor timing to miss the NCAA at the same time that their in-state rival is a #1 seed.

You know, I'm not sure that emphasizing the outside aspects of the UK job is such a good idea now that you're hiring. Good, ambitious coaches don't think they're going to lose. But they may not want a job where they get fired for being snotty to boosters. I always thought a John Calipari would want to go to UK because he loves the limelight, but he makes about as much at Memphis and doesn't have reporters stalking him. It makes a guy like Tom Izzo even less likely to go there. Why would an established head coach want to leave a program that is in better shape than UK's to take a job that also requires you to be a secular pope? Rick Pitino loves attention so he didn't mind. Not sure how many coaches are like that? I think Tubby Smith even hated that part which is why he left. Of course, he won enough to stay.

I also don't think it's helping that Mitch Barnhart is saying that he doesn't plan on paying out the buyout that's in Gillispie's Memorandum of Understanding because it isn't a contract. Good luck with that. You signed it, Mitch. It doesn't have to have "CONTRACT" stamped at the top to be considered a contract. How are you going to go into litigation on that point when Barnhart himself has essentially called it a contract in the past. That's the problem for UK. Both sides have treated the MOU as a contract. You might notice that the Herald-Leader checked with attorneys who don't actually work for the University of Kentucky and they say it's a contract. It's obvious why UK is doing it. First, they hope Gillispie does settle for less to avoid litigation. Second, the fan base won't be happy giving a mediocre coach that much money not to coach. If they can at least put off the payment until later, it may not be as noticable until then. However, would a big name coach take a step back if offered if they thought their contract wouldn't be honored?

And this part of the story is why Barnhart should get fired too. How incompetant is he? It was a panic hire after Billy Donovan turned the job down. Is he aware that he held the leverage in this case? Gillispie wanted to be here (or thought he did at the time). He wasn't going to turn down the job. Why include such a ridiculously high buyout for a relatively unproven quantity? Really, what has Barnhart done? Hired Rich Brooks and stay with him through the down years? Big deal. That's all relative. Yes, they've won three straight bowl games but they were minor ones that included a win over an FSU team missing half the team. His win record the past three years have consisted mainly of beating a weak non-conference schedule (aided the past two by one Steve Kragthrope) and just enough SEC teams to get enough wins for a bowl game. Think of it this way, in six years at UK, Brooks has one win (GA 2006) against an SEC East team not named Vanderbilt. And believe it or not, this isn't a knock against UK. I think UK has enough going for it (fan support, facilities, etc) that a lot of coaches could have a few years in a row with 8 or fewer wins. It doesn't mean Barnhart is some AD savant. Yet, he gets to hire the next coach.

Which brings us to my favorite part. Who will be the next coach? Well, I'll tell you who it won't be. That Mike K guy at Duke and Bob Knight. I don't hear their names from delusional fans like I did two years ago, but I thought I'd mention it. They would not leave their teams for this job. But Lute Olsen is available. Roy Williams isn't. They also aren't getting Rick Pitino. I said it last year and those same issues (age, malicious rumors spread about him spread by UK fans etc) are still there. Plus, he's one win away from a Final Four at UL and they're building him a new arena.

So, who is out there? Surprisingly, most of the same names as last time because it's only been two years. Maybe that Gillispie guy who did wonders with the Aggies. Word is Billy Donovan and John Calipari have indicated they don't want it, but that means nothing. I'm still not sure Donovan is all that. He caught lightning in a bottle for two years, but he's only had one other good year. As a UL fan, I don't want UK hiring Calipari. At all. As for others, I didn't realize that Jay Wright and Rick Barnes told UK "no" (under the table two years ago). Considering he's got Villanova in the Final Four as we speak, I don't see Wright changing his mind. And Texas may look the same now, but UK looks less desirable so they may have to spend to get Barnes. I still think Izzo won't leave, but that's just a gut feeling. I still think Thad Matta would. Though I have to question why so many Ohio State players go one-and-done, though. It was one thing when your one year wonders get you to the finals, but when you lose as an 8 seed and someone goes pro, it's a little different. I still think Barnhart won't look at Bruce Pearl.

New names to consider are Darrin Horn, Jamie Dixon, Mike Anderson and Jeff Capel. The last two are black so even hiring them as your second black head coach won't save you from being called racist by Merlene Davis of the Herald-Leader if they leave. But in a couple of years, there may not be a Herald-Leader, so no worries. However, there is a real problem with them. At least for UK fans. Anderson is a Nolan Richardson protege. Jeff Capel played at Duke. That'd be sweet. A Dookie as UK's coach. Horn really only gets mentioned because he's from Lexington. His record isn't far enough along to consider. Well, other than bringing him in lessens the chance of UK losing two to him next year. Dixon has done moderately well. He made the Elite Eight this year, but Pitt was known for blowing it in the Sweet Sixteen before. Plus, if you thought Gillispie's offense was ugly, watch Pitt's grinder offense. If Barnhart wants to go mid-major route, there's Sean Miller at Xavier or Mark Few at Gonzaga, but I'm guessing Barnhart will want someone from a bigger program. I'd like Few to get it because I'm in a pool at work on who will be UK's next coach and I pulled his name.

Which brings us to the alumni. How about a UK alum who has been tutored by a national champion coach? Who won a national title and three SEC titles as a player? Even spent a couple of years as a pro? A player that UK fans felt very strongly about? This guy. Okay, the two former UK players talked about for the job are John Pelphrey and Travis Ford. I don't think either would be even remotely considered if they weren't UK grads. Neither has a resume as good as Gillispie did two years ago. When you omit Ford's NAIA record, Gillispie's pre-UK winning percentage was higher than both. He had a better tournament record. Ford didn't even take UMass to the tournament and Eastern Kentucky once. Pelphrey took South Alabama once and Arkansas once. Neither has made it out of the second round. Gillispie only had one losing season while those two had at least four each.

And the people I talk to seem to prefer Pelphrey which doesn't make much sense to me. Most of Ford's losing was at Eastern Kentucky which was a complete joke. Pelphrey's overall record at South Alabama wasn't as good as his predecessor. So, taking four years before your first winning season isn't that swift. And he's now coming off a losing record (with a 2-14 conference mark in a weak SEC) while Ford made the second round in his first year at Ok State. I realize Ford wasn't a beloved Unforgettable, but he actually made the Final Four. I guess some people just can't get over a season 17 years ago which had a moral victory (also known as a loss) as the high point.

So, who should they get? I still think they need to make a run at Calipari. No doesn't mean no forever. After the Gillispie hire, Barnhart thinks that he needs a big splash. If he decides to try Izzo (I'm sure he'll get a big boost among the UK fanbase if he beats Pitino in the Elite Eight), he'll have to offer the job directly. Someone with Izzo's record isn't going to interview as part of a coaching search. I wouldn't put it past him to go back to Donovan either although I'm sure he'll do it less overtly this time around. Wouldn't look good to be turned down twice. I saw a funny comment from a friend of mine who said if Donovan says no again, he better not get a third chance. If he says no again coming off two non-tournament seasons, I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't want the UK job and won't be bothered if he's not asked again. Unless Barnhart thinks he can shake Pitino loose or Jay Wright wins the title, those three are really the only realistic names that would make a big splash (maybe a decent one if it's Barnes). Ironically, I would take Wright over all of them except Calipari.

So, who will it be? I think Barnhart will screw this up. He tends to overestimate the attractiveness of his positions. Remember, he was talking names like Bill Parcells when he was replacing Guy Morriss. Rich Brooks was hired out of semi-retirement when no big name would even interview. Maybe he learned coaches didn't flock to his last men's basketball opening, but I doubt it. I think he targets a couple of names. Dithers around with them and they decide not to take it. Panics again and Travis Ford is the new head coach because he's the only non-established coach that would mollify the UK fanbase. Which is probably not the best thing. Those types of fans aren't who you should be taking your cues from. In the next-UK-coach pool that I'm in, the guy who drew Jamie Dixon was complaining that he got some guy he'd never heard of? Do you really want to take advice from someone who is so full of basketball knowledge that he never heard of a guy whose team is a 1 seed in the tournament?

NCAA First Weekend & Other News

Note - I will highlight all basketball posts in red so Lisa can skip them.

Chalk City going into the Sweet Sixteen. The East and South regions are all 1 through 4 seeds. The West had 1-3 seeds with only 5 seed Purdue out of the top 4. The Midwest also had 1-3 seeds, but at least they had one outlier with Arizona being a 12 seed.

And those DVDs that the United States gave the British PM weren't in the right format after all. Is this what Hilary Clinton refers to as "smart power" in diplomacy?

As I said, only two teams seeded outside the top 4 made it to the Sweet Sixteen. The Big East led the way with five. The Big 12 was second with three. The Big Ten and ACC had two each. The Big Ten didn't surprise me because I didn't think they were that good, but the ACC only having two was a bit surprising. Especially since Florida State, Clemson, Boston College and Wake (got thumped) all lost in the first round. I thought they were better than that. With the PAC-10 getting one team in the Sweet Sixteen and the SEC with a goose egg, that means mid-majors had three teams make the second weekend, but it's tough to call Memphis, Xavier and Gonzaga mid-majors anymore.

Woman goes to jail in her wedding dress. She calls it her "greatest nightmare". I can think of worse ones, but as a man, there's always the horrors at the thought of getting junk caught in machinery. She's complaining because a picture of her in her wedding dress was taken while in the courtroom. Not sure why since that's kind of in public. I'm just mad because I searched for the picture that was supposedly making the rounds but didn't find it. I did find one news article with her mug shot (or the worst wedding picture ever), but then I lost interest.

I said from the beginning that Arizona didn't belong in the tournament. The fact that they won their first two games doesn't change my mine about it any more than Wake losing to Cleveland State means they didn't belong. Arizona didn't deserve to be there. And they just beat Utah and Cleveland State to get there. So what? UNLV beat Utah too. They also beat UL who ended up being a one seed. No one considered UNLV to be a serious contender for an NCAA bid. Maybe they should have been. Know who else UNLV beat? Arizona.

Big controversy because insurance company AIG was bailed out by the federal government to the tune of buying 80% of the company, but is paying out $165 million in retention bonuses to people who ran the company into the ground. Politicians are outraged. Barak Obama is taking responsibility because his treasury department approved them. Of course, he's saying he's taking the blame but saying it's not his fault. I like how he says some people are blaming the Republicans which makes no sense at all. You see, Senator Christopher Dodd (NOT A REPUBLICAN-CT) changed the language of the stimulus package (passed with only three Republican Senators, no Republican Congressmen and signed by a non-Republican President) that exempted those bonuses from being withheld. Now Congress is trying to backtrack and fix things by taxing all of the bonuses which is most likely unconstitutional and will result in the bonuses being paid and the US blowing money on the suit. Outstanding. The truth is that the bonuses are part of contracts that were exempted and have already been paid. Can't get them back. Well, they could have stopped it by doing what I said - don't bail them out. No money means no bonuses. Why the Hell are they paying to retain people who did a bad job to begin with? It's not like there aren't plenty of out of work financial types if AIG tells its people they have a choice between taking their bonus or getting let go.

Living in Lexington should make the NCAA viewing experience better because the local CBS affiliate also owns the CW channel which means they can show two games at once. If they wanted to. I don't know how many times the same game was on both stations even though there was another game on.

I wonder if Dodd removing the AIG bonus language from the stimulus bill and the Obama treasury department approving the bonuses was in any way related to Dodd and Obama being the two biggest Senatorial recipients of AIG campaign donations in 2008. Just asking. Of course, if they want AIG to give back their bonuses because they accepted taxpayer money, shouldn't Obama and Dodd give back those donations?

They keep running a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial that has the restaurant chain signaling a sideline photographer to use a giant flash to cause a player to miss so the game goes into overtime. Is Buffalo Wild Wings admitting that they fix games?

I thought the feds should have kept out of bailouts because I don't think government does what it's already supposed to very well. Why would I think they could actually run a bank or insurance firm? Want confirmation? One of the biggest drivers of the economic problems we face was banks being pushed to extend credit to high risk candidates. Well, one New England bank stayed out of trouble by actually looking at the credit rating of customers. Did they get a government award for their foresightedness? Nope, they got dinged by the FDIC for not lending enough to high risk applicants. If government regulators are too stupid to figure this out after we ran into these economic problems, why would we want them to have more control?

I mentioned above that Memphis was one of the non-BCS teams that made the Sweet Sixteen. Some dumbass from the University of Maryland stuck his foot in his mouth by saying that Memphis would have had a losing record in the ACC. Well, Memphis smacking down Maryland doesn't really prove that false since Maryland had a losing record in the ACC. But the fact that Memphis made the Sweet Sixteen which five ACC tournament teams couldn't do does. Oh, and Memphis making the finals last year (something the ACC didn't manage) means Vasquez is really stupid.

Speaking of foot in the mouth, our vaunted leader took time from giving unworkable DVDs and approving/disapproving of retention bonuses to make a visit on the Tonight Show where he commented on his bowling ability by comparing it to the Special Olympics. Which somehow caused some controversy. Well, only a little. So much for that Obama eloquence I keep reading about. I like that the White House statement said it wasn't meant to disparage the Special Olympics but was instead making fun of his bowling ability. Because making fun of your abilities by comparing them to a mentally challenged event would in no way disparage them. Granted, I'm not clean on this since I use the term retarded. But usually about non-retarded people being stupid. Oh, and I'm not the President of the United States.

I usually keep up with sports pretty well, but until the tournament started, I didn't realize former Stanford coach Mike Montgomery was the head coach at California. Or that the former California coach Todd Bozeman was the head coach at Morgan State. Actually, I'm not surprised I didn't know who the head coach of Morgan State was.

And I'm not attacking Obama just to be attacking, but there is clearly a double standard. Would George W. Bush have been ridiculed a lot more for that kind of crap? I think that's pretty obvious. I don't know why conservatives like me believe there is a liberal bias in the press. Sure, Slate is still running a stupid Bush quote of the day even though he's been out of office for over two months. That's no reason to see bias in the media.

I'm still concerned about UL's focus in this tournament. They keep going into brainlock during games. The entire first half of the Morehead State game. Part of the second half against Siena. Can't keep relying on Terrence Williams to pull their ass out of the fire. Need to focus. But looking at what Williams has done for this team, he's knocking out guys from the '86 championship team in popularity. He probably can't surpass a Darrell Griffith, but I know I'll be buying his bobblehead from day one if they make one of him.

This story is quite disturbing. It involves possible child pornography. Well, they never found child pornography. A woman was in jail and decided to get back at her ex by telling the police to search her laptop because he may have been downloading child porn. Instead they found videos in the recycle bin of her getting licked in her private parts by her beagle. And by beagle, I mean beagle. Which she blamed on the booze. I've done some stupid crap while loaded, but bestiality never really came up. Obviously she needs to learn how to empty the recycle bin before giving her laptop to the cops.

In hindsight, Western Kentucky got screwed in the seeding. They made the Sweet Sixteen last year. Sure they lost some players, but they beat Louisville this year so why were they only a 12? Siena got a 9 based on making it out of the first round last year, but they didn't get out of the second round either year.

Finally some good news. The Baldwin brothers are teaming up to get Lindsay Lohan the help she needs. Well, born again Christian Stephen and former junkie Daniel. I guess Daniel will show her that she's a drug using amature compared to him. But hey, he was in John Carpenter's Vampires which I found to be a great movie. And I could make a crack about Stephen understanding shame since he played Barney Rubble in The Flintstones live action sequel except he got the better end of the deal. Betty Rubble was played by Jane Krakowski in the sequel while she was played by Rosie O'Donnell in the original. But Lohan wasn't the only former-pedophile-wishlistee that popped up on my radar. Fred Durst (he was once known for something) has opened up about his relationship with Britney Spears by saying "it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her." Apparently he thinks they were dating. Granted, he's right. She's half crazy and borderline white trash, but she's still way too good for him.

Speaking of Western Kentucky in the tournament, Seth Davis is a moron. There was a controversy at the end of the Western-Gonzaga game as Gonzaga scored a go ahead basket and Western wasn't awarded a timeout that was called before they inbounded the ball. Seth actually said it was the right call not to award the timeout because apparently WKU didn't ask hard enough. He said, "You only had one player for Western Kentucky, AJ Slaughter, and he didn't really emphatically call a timeout." Davis said all five players should have been calling for a timeout. To tell the whole story, Davis is full of shit because Slaughter was the only player calling a timeout, but the WKU coach was also calling for one. Greg Anthony (showing maybe a Duke degree isn't really worth more than one from UNLV) pointed out that the rules don't specify a timeout has to be called emphatically. "If you call a timeout, Seth, that's a timeout." Western only had .9 seconds left so it was unlikely that they could have scored, but the fact is that they should have been given a timeout and for Davis to insist that the refs didn't blow the call is plain stupid. Retarded even.

Apparently Alex Rodriguez wasn't just cheating on his wife with Madonna. He was also dating/banging a New York madam. Normally I would cringe at thinking about knocking it out with a hooker, but then I saw the picture. She's stacked. If he had that in the wings, what was he doing with Madonna who has never been that attractive?

I've got Louisville winning my brackets (on CBSsports.com; didn't have time to enter it on ESPN). However, UConn is looking awful tough. They're the only 1 or 2 seed not to let a team hang around deep into the second half. I was concerned about their depth with Jerome Dyson out, but maybe only playing two games a week negates that.

Isn't this nice? Russian dictator.........I mean Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has outlawed.....I mean made statements that led to the Natural Resources and Ecology Ministry to outlaw the slaughter of baby seals. Don't worry. The slaughter of reporters investigating Putin is still going strong.

Damn, the University of Tennessee women's team is getting their ass kicked by Ball State while I type this. I think this is the first time Pat Summit has lost in the first round. Louisville's women's team is up 31 in their first round game. Never thought I'd see that. Never thought I'd care.

And finally, the stripper stories. A Rhode Island (is that really a state?) strip club had a job fair. Most of the people who applied were looking for non-stripping jobs. The AP article seems surprised that most were men wanting to be bouncers. Well, duh. There is probably a finite amount of women willing to work as strippers. So, common sense says there aren't a bunch of women going to a job fair to become a stripper. But it's not like New York where some Brooklyn council member thinks $500 million by taxing a cover charge of $10 for every patron going to a strip joint. How many times do I have to explain that if you jack up the taxes on something, you aren't going to get near as much money as you think? Sure, increase the taxes on strip joints in New York City. Guys will just go to New Jersey or surrounding counties that don't have the extra tax. I can't say from personal experience, but I've heard strip clubs are expensive. Make it even more so and you can drive the business down the road. And that jurisdiction can collect the taxes.

College Basketball & Other Stories

Well, it's been a nice season for UL basketball. Winning both the Big East regular season and conference tournament titles. Now the overall #1 seed in the tournament. Going into the weekend, some dumbdicks, I mean pundits didn't think they deserved a 1 seed in the tournament at all even if they won the Big East tournament. Then UNC and Michigan State lost early and there you go. I don't see how they don't. What other major conference had both the regular season and tournament won by the same team? I think the Big East and ACC are the two best conferences (I don't care how many teams the Big Ten gets in, I don't see it). So, how could a team that swept both titles of one of the top two conferences not be a one seed? They did have three non-conference losses, but all three teams ended up with 20 plus wins. Plus, UL has only lost two games in 2009. Other top teams have really struggled down the stretch. Still, I was surprised that they were the top overall seed.

Here's a cute story. A rumor was going around that a Swiss Zoo didn't have space for a baby hippo and were going to kill it and turn it into tiger food. Well, that's not going to happen, but it's apparently happened before. I like the fact that they point out that European zoos don't use birth control on their animals. Let me get this straight. You have situations where overcrowding causes you to occasionally feed some of your animals to others. Yet, you don't think sterilizing some of them is a good idea? Yeah, that's a great idea. Why don't we feed unwanted children to stray dogs?

I think Morehead State got screwed. How did they get the play-in game? Check out conference RPIs. The Ohio Valley is higher than eight other conferences. And it's not like Morehead is some last place team that got hot in their conference tournament. They were two games out of first. Yet, they are a play-in team while East Tennessee State isn't. ETSU just happened to have lost to Morehead this year. Actually, they need to dump the play-in game altogether and just lose an at large team. Is the tournament enhanced by having an Arizona team that can't win a road game? But not only does it screw the losing team which doesn't get an actual tournament game (I don't care what they call it), it also means some brackets have to be turned in two days after the teams are announced.

Here's a good one. A state legislator from West Virginia (figures) wants to ban Barbie dolls from his state (but sister humping is still okay). His rationale is that the doll emphasized beauty too much for girls. He's a Democrat so I'm surprised that he just didn't try to tax it. But he took page two from his party's playbook and is trying to suck up to the feminist left. Must be hot to trot for one in particular. Let's think about this. He doesn't want girls to know that beauty is valued whether we like it or not. Does this mean that he plans to ban hot chicks so high school girls won't see high school boys drooling over them? Sure, it's West Virginia, but they could see hot chicks on TV. Actually, the biggest problem here is exactly what the story says. A politician an wants to ban a toy because of self esteem.

So, Louisville, Morehead State and Western Kentucky made the NCAA tournament. UK made the NIT. But at least they host it. And are charging $33 for a ticket. Talking about adding insult to injury. And it will probably be worse next year. I don't care what they say right now, I don't think either Patrick Patterson or Jodie Meeks is coming back. Meeks is playing like someone trying to boost his stock and he sure doesn't look happy. Patterson is a first rounder. And if Meeks doesn't come back, why would he?

I was a little surprised by this article. A man was cited for driving solo in the carpool lane after he tried to fool cops with a dummy in the passenger seat. He didn't get caught because his dummy looked like Denver Pyle. He got caught because the dummy wasn't wearing his seatbelt. I'm surprised because I would have thought you would need the seatbelt to hold up the dummy.

The question for UK is what to do with Billy Clyde. As a UL fan, I'm all for giving him a contract extension. I originally thought he'd do well. He seemed to have the work ethic and background for it. I was wrong, but it didn't take long to change my mind last year. In fact, I was reminded last week that I said during last season that UK had hired their Steve Kragthorpe (except it's for basketball), and I think that description fits. UK basketball wasn't coming off the success that UL football was when Kragthorpe took, but each year has been a worse finish. Both seem to have been successful at lower levels, but are unable to handle the bigger job. You see the deer in the headlight look on the sideline as they don't seem to know what to do. Bizarre recruiting strategies. Freely running off talented players and then blaming depth for losses. Inexplicable game decisions. I'm feeling pretty smug because when the job first came open, I said UK should go for John Calipari at Memphis (and also rightly said he wouldn't get a look). I'm too lazy, but you can do a search on the blog. Memphis was in the title game last year, and even though they lost most of the key players from that team, they're a 2 seed this year. Oh, and team star is Tyreke Evans who is a freshman. As a UL fan, I'm happy to see Calipari at Memphis. In fact, I hope he stays there. And Gillispie stays at UK.

People are struggling with the thought that the Sears Tower will soon be called the Willis Tower after the Different Strokes character. Or an insurance company, I'm not sure which. I don't know what the big deal is. People bitch about football stadiums being named after corporations so why get concerned that one corporations' name is being replaced. Hell, they should have changed it 17 years ago when Sears moved out. Maybe Sears wouldn't have been so big headed to merge with Kmart so they have Kmart quality at Sears prices.

When I think about it, Arizona is the last team that should have made the tournament. They went 9-9 in the PAC-10 which isn't a juggernaut. They won one of their last six games. They played only 11 road games and only won two of those. Against the two Oregon teams (combined record 21-40). I would have taken UK over them. I would have taken a lot of teams over Arizona.

Since it's irrelevant to me, I'm just linking this article for some of the guys who read this blog. Or their significant others who might convince them it's the hip thing to wear.

Of course, Arizona isn't the only team that didn't deserve to be in. I think Penn State got screwed. How did they not get in, but Minnesota and Michigan did? To begin with, the Big Ten got too many (and it sucks watching them play). You might notice that neither had more wins than Penn State and were behind them in the Big Ten conference. They split their season with Penn State so no advantage there. All three lost to either Northwestern or Iowa who were bottom feeders in the league. Minnesota should have been the odd man out of the three. Why? Penn State went 5-3 over their last 8 games while Minnesota went 3-5. Minnesota did have the win over UL but that was early in the season. Penn State beat Michigan State (which neither Minnesota or Michigan did). So, league record should have trumped that. And between Michigan and Minnesota, the Wolverines swept the Gophers.

I had mentioned previously how the Obama administration had hurt some feeling with the British when it gave some DVDs after receiving a well thought out gift of historical significance. But I missed one important point. I forgot about DVD formats. It's possible that the British Prime Minister was given DVDs that won't work on his machine. That is so classic. And it gets better. A state department official was contacted about the issue and responded "There's nothing special about Britain. You're just the same as the other 190 countries in the world." Right. England and Suriname are on equal diplomatic footing. Much better, an Obama confidante has said that he's "overwhelmed" by the job (boy, isn't that encouraging) and can't really put much time into meeting with our one consistent ally of the past century. Although he can find time to meet with their mortal enemy of the past century. I'm just not sure what he's preoccupied with. For all the talk of him moving too fast, he's really just signed some bills. His biggest one was the stimulus/outright pork barrel spending project, but anyone looking closely at how that was passed, it's pretty obvious that written and pushed through by Congressional leaders. What extremely taxing jobs has he done himself? Well, besides designating a White House aide to strategize an attack on a radio host. That really is a new type of politics. Not sure how it helps the economy, but it's got to be better for it than his other plans. Oh, and for those appalled by Limbaugh's statement that he wants Obama's policies to fail, this isn't a new political strategy. James Carville said the same thing about Bush's policies. Well, until some planes crashed into some buildings.

Looking at the brackets, I'm predicting that of the high seeds (4 or higher), Kansas has the best chance of going out in the first round. They weren't focused in their tournament. Bill Self made a name for himself his first two years at Kansas by flaming out early. The North Dakota State players will do whatever it takes not to have to go back to North Dakota.

I didn't think the Eliot Spitzer situation could get any more embarrassing for him. Then it came out that he liked to choke his hookers. And left his tie on and sweated a lot. Personally, that makes his whole thing more understandable. He likes to choke women. His wife wasn't into it so he had to hire a pro. Still, blowing your gig as governor seems a pretty high price to pay for a fetish.

Damn. The SEC sucks. Only three bids and the highest is LSU with an 8 seed. Sadly, I give Mississippi State the best chance to get out of the first round even though they are a 13 seed. Tennessee is really the best team in the conference, but they play stupid way too much. And can't guard the perimeter.

Dude gets arrested for masturbating by a mailbox. First thought - was it a purty mailbox? Then I see his reasoning. He wanted his neighbors to know "who was boss". Man, he showed them. I can think of a lot better reasons to jerk off at your mailbox. Actually, no I can't.

Hey, Duke is playing in Greensboro, NC to open the tournament. When was the last time they didn't play their first round in North Carolina?

Bumfights for retarded people. This is pretty sad. A home for the mentally handicapped was recently found to have clients engaged in a "fight club" staged by workers there. What the hell? No purses? Sure, it's bad to have the handicapped fighting, but it's even worse not to pay them. Speaking of the mentally challenged getting paid, some learning disabled high school kid found $18K of drug money and started giving it away. He'll be lucky to just get his ass kicked by a bunch of mentally challenged people in a home. Most drug dealers aren't too happy when you take their money.

Finally, can UL win it all? They can. But I do have reservations. Their backcourt has issues. No true point guard. Their rebounding sucks way too often. When your two forwards are way ahead of everyone else on rebounding, that's a problem. They get brainlock at times which is why they trail too often at the half. Outside shooting can be streaky. Still, I'm going to pick them. The backcourt struggles with offense, but they can lock you down on defense. Terrence Williams is playing great. Earl Clark is finally showing why the scouts love him. They just don't lose. If Andre McGee and Jerry Smith can hit their 3s, I think a title is definitely possible. Especially since every other team is flawed. UNC will struggle if Ty Lawson isn't 100%. UConn hasn't been the same without Jerome Dyson. Pitt struggles when Dejaun Blair is in foul trouble. Duke has no inside game. Oklahoma is a two man crew. Memphis is young. I see no reason why UL can't win this. As long as they play good defense and don't take stupid shots.

Breastfeeding While Driving & Other News

Ah, mother of the year candidate. Some buttinsky screwed up her whole day by calling the cops just because she was breastfeeding her child while driving a minivan. Oh, she was also talking on the cell phone. She was charged with some crime for it which just proves the police states war against women who multi-task continues unabated. This woman is an absolute genius. When the good Samaritan pointed out that she might want to stop before doing that, her response to him was classic. "You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?" Obviously a biology major. Oh, but she told the cops "that she does not deprive her child when the child is hungry". I'm sure the kid doesn't want to be deprived of an airbag crushing him into mommy either.

But why should I expect regular folk to be smart when Harvard professors constantly make me think they are stupid. The latest was a study (non-biased w/o an agenda I'm sure) by some Harvard schmuck who concluded that conservatives watch more porn. His basis? He did a credit card check from an online adult service, factored in broadband access and found that Republican voting states had 8 of the top 10 (per capita) purchasers of porn from that service. Now, I'm a conservative. I don't look at internet porn. Well, I don't pay to look at it. I don't care who watches porn, but I just hate sloppy scholarship. To begin with, he doesn't say what online service it was so it may not have included gay, shemale or bestiality sites OR FREE PORN ON THE INTERNET. The reality is I would have expected this result. Utah would have more people buying online porn than New York because New York City has sex shops like Seattle has coffee shops. The only place to get porn in Utah is online. But the real flaw is that they concluded conservatives were buying it. Excuse me? Utah went for McCain, but over 30 percent voted for Obama. This study found that 5.47 out of 100 (broadband users) in Utah surfed porn. That's one half of one percent of a smaller sample (broadband users) than general population that bought online porn. How can you make any inference from that to what the political ideology is of the buyers? Oh right, you can't. No wonder Johnny can't read.

Hey, that silly Rock Band game is coming out with a Beatles only version. I'm so stoked I'll probably go out and buy something totally unrelated. I noticed that the story doesn't include the song list. I even clicked on the link to go to the website for this game. No songs there either. Wonder why? Oh, right because people might realize they're playing such hard rocking tunes as Yellow Submarine (possibly the worst song to ever chart #1) and Love Me Do.

When I saw the headline that a woman had been charged with misusing 911 after calling because McDonalds ran out of Chicken McNuggets, I assumed I would be ridiculing her. To begin with, if you eat at McDonalds, you made your first mistake. However, after reading it, I'm siding with her. She ordered McNuggets. They didn't have them. They told her that she had to take something else for the same price. Considering McDonalds has maybe three things on their regular menu that I'm willing to eat, I understand her frustration. I wouldn't want that other crap either. Maybe calling 911 was extreme, but the fact of the matter, she gave her money for something. She didn't get it. They would not give her the money back. Sounds like theft to me.

I mentioned this story back in January. A man died because the EMTs refused to go into his house after he called for help because they thought his house was too dirty. Now, I have the pictures. Damned, I better start cleaning. If that's too messy for an ambulance driver, they'll definitely let me die.

Has anyone heard about the psycho woman who had octuplets? On top of already having six kids she couldn't afford? All without the help of anything like a father? Although with the help of Uncle Sam. She doesn't think she's getting welfare even though she's getting food stamps and social security (disability section) payments which is kind of like welfare. Oh wait. It is welfare. Well, I am glad (and very surprised) for one thing. The public has turned against this wackjob really quick instead of enabling her worthless ass. Granted, you have to worry about the kids because they don't have a chance in Hell with that idiot raising them. However, she is good for some laughs. Vivid offered her a million bucks to do a porno (they have the only people who can sort of fill that vagina). She's turning it down because people won't want to see her until the pregnancy fat goes away. I'm thinking never myself.

I'm sure she has a shot at a reality show even if they have such high standards. I've never actually watched Wife Swap because I don't care to see contrived shows. However, I found this story interesting. A man is getting hate mail and death threats for being a dick to the wife he swapped for. Not that I'm normally going to defend a San Francisco liberal, but why on earth would anyone care enough about something they saw on a stupid show like this to set up a website or send death threats? It's a friggin reality show. Who cares?

In Podunk, India, an infant child is married off to a dog. To ward off tigers. He was bad luck before that. Because he grew an upper tooth. Eventually the 14th century may arrive here. The article doesn't get into the specifics, but I don't understand why marriage to a dog is going to make tigers stay away unless they see how messed up the whole thing is. However, the article was kind enough to state that he won't have to divorce the dog in the future to marry a human. Well, duh. He's an infant. The dog will be dead by then. Is that statement absurd? Yes. But not as absurd as anything else in that story.

Remember how the last presidential election was supposed to mark our return to being friends with other countries? Well, not if we keep giving them crappy presents. Apparently, the British Prime Minister came over for a visit and brought some nice gifts. A pen holder made from an 1800s anti-slavery ship. Probably pretty expensive. Some other nice stuff. They even gave the Obama brats some designer duds and unpublished children's books. What did they get in return? Well, the Gordon Brown kids got a helicopter model (thank God the White House gift shop was open). Brown himself got a DVD set. Now, I could care less about making any foreigner happy, but I have a big problem with the movie list. It's supposed to be classic American films, but why is Lawrence of Arabia on there (and Deep Throat isn't). I looked it up on IMDB to be sure I was right. Let's see. English director. English star. English story. Sounds like an English movie to me.

Man kills wife about 20 years ago. Gets out after 15 years. Marries another woman. Kills her and her son. Marrying a man who killed his wife? Good idea.

But here's some friggin' good news. Someone has discovered how belly button lint occurs. Well, thank you Jesus. I was just sitting here the other day cleaning out some belly button lint and wondered how the hell it got there. Now I know. And it only took three years to find out. I'd describe why, but it falls into that category of "Who The Hell Cares?"

A Chinese man had some cash flow problems. So, he needed to fire four of his five mistresses. He had a contest. One of the women who lost took the rest on a drive and drove off a cliff. This is why you don't let your mistresses meet.

Ah, the New York Times. It's supposed to be the standard bearer for newspapers in this country. Yet, somehow it was fooled by a parody blog about dating bankers. But hey, they probably editorialized that Obama would govern from the center too.

But lots of news organizations get fooled. That story above about the Chinese mistress driving off a cliff. That was made up too. It's a damned shame when you can't take a Chinese news source at it's word.

It used to be that people would stay married for the kids, but now they should stay married for the environment. If they're idiots. I won't get into how ridiculous it is to say one person's "carbon footprint" means anything. I'll just point out how ridiculous it is that this article needed a file photo for it, and the best they could come up with is some tubby white guy trying to spoon his significant other on the beach.

Haven't people heard of eBay? A couple got arrested for trying to buy two children from a woman. The price? A cockatoo. At least it's worth $1500 (although I don't know why since it's a friggin bird). The problem was the woman selling the children was only the babysitter. Albeit, a long term one since she'd had them for a year. Maybe breastfeeding your infant while driving isn't so bad. Leaving them with a woman for a year until she tries to trade them for a sorta parrot might be worse.

Cracked.com manages to come up with some nice lists. This one has strange objects people were having sex with. Now, I'm not going to question how strange it is to have sex with a bike or a picnic table. My only complaint is why it didn't include Alex Rodriguez sticking it in Madonna. That's definitely stranger than having sex with a lamp post.

Bacon & Other News Stories

Okay, this isn't really a news story. Some guy on his blog (I've heard he was on Mystery Science Theater 3000, but am too lazy to check), declared that he would eat nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. Slacker. Why don't you pick the shortest month of the year? I guess I could search the site to see if he made it, but I understand where he's coming from. Bacon is one of the greatest foods ever. Everything goes better with bacon. You notice which comes first in "bacon and eggs"? Without bacon, a club sandwich is just a turkey sandwich with cheese. A London Broil is just a piece of non-premium beef until you wrap the bacon around it. This guy is a true American hero. Sure, he may grow tired of bacon and might possibly be severely constipated at the end of the month, but I salute the effort.

Ah, bacon. Something that should be fed to all Muslim terrorists. Here's an interesting bit of news about Gitmo. A review by the Obama administration has found that Gitmo meets the standards of the Geneva Convention. My guess is they wanted to find that since (as noted by me) Obama might keep it open once he realizes he doesn't know what to do with them. Gives him some cover. There were a few things I found issue with. One suggestion is they "be allowed more communal recreation and prayer time." Gee, I wonder if there could be a problem with that. I wonder what people accused of plotting terrorist acts might talk about if they get to hang out together. As for prayer time, I might point out that they used their religion as the basis for their actions. Someone (who I can't remember at this time) made the point before that giving Islamic terrorists the Koran is equivalent to giving Nazi prisoners copies of Mein Kampf to read. Now, you can say that they became terrorists not because of Islam but because of their false beliefs about Islam. In that case, who gives a crap about their religious sensitivities? Another thing I disagree with is the contention that force feeding these prisoners is legal. I say if they don't want to eat, don't make them. In fact, if they later decide they do want to eat, go with their original request not to be fed.

Thomas Friedman had an interesting take on a story out of India. Muslims in India are refusing to bury the Mumbai terrorists in their cemeteries. He thinks it's a sign that moderate Muslim communities are standing up to terrorism. I think it's something else. Hindu Nationalists in India have been known to riot and kill Muslims over incidents in the past. They bury those terrorists in their cemeteries, they know full and well that they'll be lucky if just a handful of graves get desecrated. More likely the whole cemetery and probably the Muslim section of that town are going to get it.

Here's a cute story from Eurabia.... I mean England. A police force there has made the hijab (Muslim dress scarf for women) an option for the police uniform so they can get more women to join. I'm sure Muslim women working will go over well with the more radical Islamists there. I must say I like the comment by some dork on the street that it will "change people's attitudes to Muslim people." Not sure seeing a headscarf on a policewoman will change that especially since the hijab is usually associated with the hardcore Muslim cultures which also produced the immigrants who planted bombs in the London subways and tried to drive jeeps with gasoline bombs into British airport terminals. Hey, maybe stopping that would do more for changing attitudes towards Muslims.

Another cute story out of England. A silly study found that men look at sexy calendars and use the part of their brain that gets used when looking at objects. So, therefore men see the women as objects. Gee, maybe they see it as an object because it's a piece of paper with a picture and some dates on it. By definition, an object. Even better, they don't use the part of their brain that tunes into the "thoughts and feelings" of another person. Right. Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to worry about what a model in a calendar is thinking about? It's probably meth and throwing up her lunch. Oh, and this is the best. Women are different because they look at "age and bank balance" when viewing men. Glad they aren't superficial. Wait. Aren't cash machines an object?

Two 16 year olds in Arizona just got busted for getting their schoolmates to become prostitutes. I saw the picture and figured out why. Being that ugly, those two weren't going to make much money prostituting themselves.

Got to love taxes. The state of Washington is trying to boost their porn tax. Bastards. It's like I pointed out with other sin taxes, you think you're going to get more than you will as people find other ways (there's this internet thing with free porn all over it) to get their fix. And running out tax paying businesses isn't the brightest idea. Even if you have moral objections, strip bars do pay alcohol taxes.

Hey, someone else just pointed out that Obama is bragging about cutting taxes on people who don't pay taxes. Which means that any refund they get above the taxes they paid in isn't a refund. It's welfare. I wonder if anyone pointed that out before. Maybe back in August.

I know some people who think Obama is taking a chance with his stimulus package, but I point out to them that Obama is luckier than shit. Recessions are part of the business cycle. He's got four years to wait this one out. We come out in spite of his ridiculous spending bill, he takes the credit. With the spending package, the budget problems are long term. That's someone else's problem. And as one pundit points out, Obama has started by saying he'll "create or save" a bunch of jobs, but that's impossible to prove. You can't prove how many jobs would have been lost without that crappy ass spending bill. If you make an unmeasurable metric the sign of success, you can always claim victory.

Gosh, our college professors are so overworked. The University of Florida actually asked a professor to increase her teaching schedule. From one to three. The horror. How can you ask a college professor who makes almost $100K to teach three classes in a year? No wonder higher education is getting more expensive and less productive. You're paying someone to teach and not making them teach. Oh, wait. She's in Women's Studies. Who cares? That's a waste of time anyway.

This website came up with a list of strange college courses. I would have used the term retarded just to get my point across. Women's Studies at Wisconsin had a course on soap operas. Centre College here in the great state of Kentucky had one on walking (at least Centre isn't publicly funded). I'm not saying these classes are inherently wasteful, but they are. But even if they have some valid educational value, why aren't they part of a normal class? Why would you need a whole class on philosophy based on The Simpsons when you could probably just spend a week on it in a regular Philosophy class? Now, I like this blog entry. Not because it includes interesting but stupid classes I can make fun of. They had a pretty big picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. I think she was my first bon............I mean crush.

Speaking of Wonder Woman, Joss Whedon was writing a screenplay for a Wonder Woman movie that got yanked. So, he made an interesting argument that Marvel Comics do better in movies than DC ones. Now, I'm a fan of a lot of his work, but kind of ass backwards. I liked the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie, but not the show. I did like Angel and Firefly. It's an interesting theory. He thinks that Marvel movies do better because besides Batman, DC characters are godlike while Marvel ones are human. Superman versus Spider-Man and Iron Man. Well, the original Superman movie was huge. The remake sucked. I think it has to do with the actors. People saw Christopher Reeve as Superman. That's why it could survive the ridiculous Superman II to make a couple of more crappy (but money making) sequels. Offhand, I can't tell you who played Superman in Superman Returns. But Spider-Man and Iron Man had a good (Tobey Maguire) and a great (Robert Downey Jr) actor in the lead roles. Even the Fantastic Four had eye candy Jessica Alba. Look at Batman. The most recent ones had quality actors so they did well. The original had Michael Keaton who I like but can't see as Batman, but it did have Jack Nicholson as the Joker. The series almost died when they put George Clooney in the costume. He's a pretty boy with a lot of female fans, but he sucks as an actor. I don't think it's the character as much as who plays it.

But enough geek stuff. Let's look at teenage pregnancy. In England, a 15 year old girl gave birth to a child with her 13 year old boyfriend named Alfie. Subtract a year to see how old they were at conception. It was a big scandal that such a young man could father a child. The fact that he looks about 9 years old made it even bigger. Then it got even stranger. Two other teenagers have claimed that they are the real father and not the 13 year old. Oh wait. That was rather old news. We're now up to eight other teenagers claiming to be daddy. The original stories focused on the 13 year old "father", but why isn't anyone looking at the girl? How bad is her rep that no one seems to be taking up for her and saying she wouldn't sleep around like that? And what about the families? Apparently, they were allowed to sleep together. Here's a thought. If you don't want to be a national scandal, at least make an effort to keep them from fornicating. And has irrelevant celebrity gotten to the point that a bunch of teenagers want a piece of the action by claiming they knocked up a 12 year old's girlfriend? Look at the statement by the second boy to claim he's the real father. He says he's "really worried I could be the father." If you're worried, keep your mouth shut and let Alfie's family pay for it (or more likely the government dole). I'm just waiting for Maury Povich to get involved. DNA tests are his specialty.