Politics & Other News

Well, we had an inauguration or coronation or annunciation. Something like that. I didn't actually watch it. I don't watch most political speeches. I read over them later because when you listen to them, you often pay attention to the performance and not what exactly gets said. That's why I hear that Obama is a great speaker, but I can't remember any memorable line. No "Four score and seven years ago". No "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." No "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." I'm not going to spend my time listening for a nice cadence. I do have to give him credit though. At least Obama didn't ascend to heaven. That might have been a bit showy.

But Obama did please his base by signing an order to stop using torture and close Gitmo. Unless of course, he decides that it needs to be done and can be reversed by another presidential order. Not that he would reverse something like that. I mean it took him only a couple of days to nominate a lobbyist to a post after establishing a policy of not appointing lobbyists to posts. My personal belief is that if you're going to give a waiver on your own policy in two days, why have the policy to begin with, but I'm not a Lightworker so maybe it's not hypocritical.

I don't understand the big deal of Gitmo anyway. To begin with, these guys were living in caves and now they get three square meals and (too much) medical care. And the argument that these aren't really bad guys is laughable. A bunch have already gone back to fighting, and those are the only ones known so far. But does anyone really believe that of thousands of people captured in Afghanistan, most of the 750 who made it to Gitmo were Algerian goat herders on vacation? Sure. And even if they were just fighting for the Talibani soldiers, why would we let them loose? We're still fighting the Taliban. They're prisoners of war. And what are we going to do with them here? The governor of Colorado is willing to take them at Supermax, but most other Democratic governors don't want them. Nancy Pelosi doesn't want them. Europe is only willing to take the "innocent" ones (good luck with that one). There's a reason Gitmo was set up for dangerous prisoners. It's one place that would be tough to break them out of. It's away from Americans. It's isolated by water, sharks and Cubans. Oh, and there are bunch of marines there as opposed to your standard issue prison guards.

I remember when CDs were replacing LPs, and one of the laments was that we'd lose the great cover art. Well, I never bought an album for the cover art, and I feel vindicated when I see a list of 15 Creepiest Albums Covers.

I almost forgot the stimulus package. We're going to spend a trillion dollars to boost the economy even though most of the money isn't going to be spent until the second half of Obama's term. When it's not expected to be as necessary. At least the stimulus package isn't supposed to get a bunch of pork added to it. Because it's already all pork to start with. But why is it taking so long? I've mentioned before that this crap takes forever to get started. Plus, what's the benefit? Are we going to be a society of asphalt layers? They found that the bridge in Minnesota may have been weakened by bird crap. So, are we going to be a nation of asphalt layers and crap cleaners?

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that some bimbo was selling her supposed virginity and had big money offers for it. Now she is defending her whoredom by claiming it was a "sociological experiment". Yeah, when I sold drugs to those middle school kids, I was doing research on the drug war. Supposedly, she's studying the "value of virginity" and wanted to see how the public reacted to it and blah, blah, blah. Call me silly, but I'm not really aware of how prostitution is related to Marriage and Family Therapy unless you're counseling a family in which the father hired a prostitute online and his 16 year old daughter showed up at the hotel. Even then I'm not sure how the relationship between pricing and looseness of her cootchie would fit in. Maybe her next study could be on the value of dignity after making a public spectacle of yourself by whoring your twat in a public auction. I would have had more respect (which is very relative in this case) for her if she just admitted that she did it for the money and used the press to boost her price.

Speaking of little whores, Britney Spears is causing a bit of controversy again, and not for good reasons like having her vocal chords cut. No, this is for having a song title that sounds dirty because if you say it really fast it sounds like your spelling out a low brow term for fornication followed by "me". Which I guess is a step up for her since I wasn't sure she could spell and just flashed her beaver to let men know she was ready. I guess the comeback isn't going too well if she's trying to get attention with such a lame attempt.

This was a cute story out of New York. Carpetbagger Hilary Clinton decided being a senator from New York sucked and took the Secretary of State job. Out of nowhere, John F. Kennedy's daughter became the front runner as her replacement even though she'd never really done anything or even voted much herself. Then she pulls out of the running for "personal reasons" (her claim) or because the governor had no intention of appointing her (his claim). Now, uncle Teddy believes her and is screaming for vengeance. Really, what is he going to do? He's the only Kennedy I know with any real pull (in spite of him being an embarrassment). This whole Kennedy thing is absurd. John F. Kennedy did virtually nothing as president. Well, he did start the buildup of American forces in Vietnam, but his groupies always seem to forget that along with a large tax cut he supported. Now, he did push space exploration which I liked. Outside of that, what did he accomplish? The Peace Corp? That's really worked. Face it, Kennedy died 45 years ago. His memory is kept alive by the most self-indulgent generation in American history, the baby boomers, who still can't believe he's gone. Caroline Kennedy had no business being considered for the job. I think she was pushed into it by the family because Ted probably won't be with us much longer and no other Kennedy has national name recognition to make people continue to believe they are a relevant political force.

Now, the race to replace Clinton in New York is nowhere near as fun as replacing Obama in Illinois. As should be common knowledge now, Rod Blagojevich is under indictment and facing impeachment for trying to sell his appointment to Obama's seat. He is now comparing himself to Ghandi, Mandela and Martin Luther King because he is so persecuted. I'm surprised he isn't going around wearing a crown of thorns. Even better, he compared the whole ordeal to Pearl Harbor (does this mean we'll attack Japan in retaliation?), and he says they're trying to give him the boot so they can raise taxes. Not often you hear a Democrat taking a stand against raising taxes. That was after an earlier press conference claiming he was being impeached for pushing for better health care. He also now says that he considered appointing Oprah Winfrey. Good idea there. I thought he was delusional. Then I remembered that he played the Democratic congressional leadership like a bunch of chumps by playing the race card...........I mean, nominating a black man that they couldn't refuse out of respect for their identity politics even though they previously said they would not seat anyone Blago nominated. That was genius.

Why do I not take wacky environmentalists seriously? Oh, because they do things like bite the bus driver because he isn't driving a hybrid bus.

Nancy Pelosi. Girl genius. She has said that not having children is good for the economy. Interesting theory. Not very good long term thinking. People are already complaining that we won't have enough workers to support those friggin' baby boomers when they retire. The only other option is to have mass immigration of baby producing ethnic groups. We're better off than Europe with their new radical Islamic citizenship. We just have a bunch of Mexicans. At least they drink Bud Light and have food without goats. Look what low birth rate has done for Japan. Canon is actually giving their emplyees time off to go have sex. I wish my employer would do that. And kick in the money to get it.

A new way to take out an appendix. Through the vagina. Great. Another excuse for lack of friction. I like the quote "there is not a comparable approach for men". Well, duh. Who thought there was?

A new study says that alcoholics have less sexual dysfunction. Well, I didn't really read the whole article. It had a picture of a woman with big knockers and lots of beer which distracted me. But that will be my next pick up line. "I'm a drunk so my junk works."

Before I forget (and have to listen to Phil bitch), I must say something about the ski trip. It's this weekend and the forecast isn't for freezing rain. Sounds good to me.

This story may have involve a password for the NY Times. That shouldn't be a problem since so many of my friends are commi............I mean liberals. It's not political. It's about sex. Someone did an experiment to see the sexual response to sexually explicit scenes. They had people record their feelings and strapped probes to genatalia to make sure they weren't lying on the written record. What did they find? Well, males who said they were heterosexual got excited watching heterosexual porn and lesbians plus naked chicks doing stuff. Gay men got excited for gay porn. Women got excited over everything. Everything means everything except some steroid pumped up guy walkng on the beach. Oh, and what they record manually doesn't correspond to vaginal secretions. So, a woman's vagina disagrees with her. Yet, one of the things they get excited by is watching monkeys do it. Monkeys? Are you effing kidding me? My luck sucks with a section of people who get excited over moneky sex? How depressing.

But to show how nice I am to the ladies I know. Here's a video of moneky sex or something like it.