Breastfeeding While Driving & Other News

Ah, mother of the year candidate. Some buttinsky screwed up her whole day by calling the cops just because she was breastfeeding her child while driving a minivan. Oh, she was also talking on the cell phone. She was charged with some crime for it which just proves the police states war against women who multi-task continues unabated. This woman is an absolute genius. When the good Samaritan pointed out that she might want to stop before doing that, her response to him was classic. "You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?" Obviously a biology major. Oh, but she told the cops "that she does not deprive her child when the child is hungry". I'm sure the kid doesn't want to be deprived of an airbag crushing him into mommy either.

But why should I expect regular folk to be smart when Harvard professors constantly make me think they are stupid. The latest was a study (non-biased w/o an agenda I'm sure) by some Harvard schmuck who concluded that conservatives watch more porn. His basis? He did a credit card check from an online adult service, factored in broadband access and found that Republican voting states had 8 of the top 10 (per capita) purchasers of porn from that service. Now, I'm a conservative. I don't look at internet porn. Well, I don't pay to look at it. I don't care who watches porn, but I just hate sloppy scholarship. To begin with, he doesn't say what online service it was so it may not have included gay, shemale or bestiality sites OR FREE PORN ON THE INTERNET. The reality is I would have expected this result. Utah would have more people buying online porn than New York because New York City has sex shops like Seattle has coffee shops. The only place to get porn in Utah is online. But the real flaw is that they concluded conservatives were buying it. Excuse me? Utah went for McCain, but over 30 percent voted for Obama. This study found that 5.47 out of 100 (broadband users) in Utah surfed porn. That's one half of one percent of a smaller sample (broadband users) than general population that bought online porn. How can you make any inference from that to what the political ideology is of the buyers? Oh right, you can't. No wonder Johnny can't read.

Hey, that silly Rock Band game is coming out with a Beatles only version. I'm so stoked I'll probably go out and buy something totally unrelated. I noticed that the story doesn't include the song list. I even clicked on the link to go to the website for this game. No songs there either. Wonder why? Oh, right because people might realize they're playing such hard rocking tunes as Yellow Submarine (possibly the worst song to ever chart #1) and Love Me Do.

When I saw the headline that a woman had been charged with misusing 911 after calling because McDonalds ran out of Chicken McNuggets, I assumed I would be ridiculing her. To begin with, if you eat at McDonalds, you made your first mistake. However, after reading it, I'm siding with her. She ordered McNuggets. They didn't have them. They told her that she had to take something else for the same price. Considering McDonalds has maybe three things on their regular menu that I'm willing to eat, I understand her frustration. I wouldn't want that other crap either. Maybe calling 911 was extreme, but the fact of the matter, she gave her money for something. She didn't get it. They would not give her the money back. Sounds like theft to me.

I mentioned this story back in January. A man died because the EMTs refused to go into his house after he called for help because they thought his house was too dirty. Now, I have the pictures. Damned, I better start cleaning. If that's too messy for an ambulance driver, they'll definitely let me die.

Has anyone heard about the psycho woman who had octuplets? On top of already having six kids she couldn't afford? All without the help of anything like a father? Although with the help of Uncle Sam. She doesn't think she's getting welfare even though she's getting food stamps and social security (disability section) payments which is kind of like welfare. Oh wait. It is welfare. Well, I am glad (and very surprised) for one thing. The public has turned against this wackjob really quick instead of enabling her worthless ass. Granted, you have to worry about the kids because they don't have a chance in Hell with that idiot raising them. However, she is good for some laughs. Vivid offered her a million bucks to do a porno (they have the only people who can sort of fill that vagina). She's turning it down because people won't want to see her until the pregnancy fat goes away. I'm thinking never myself.

I'm sure she has a shot at a reality show even if they have such high standards. I've never actually watched Wife Swap because I don't care to see contrived shows. However, I found this story interesting. A man is getting hate mail and death threats for being a dick to the wife he swapped for. Not that I'm normally going to defend a San Francisco liberal, but why on earth would anyone care enough about something they saw on a stupid show like this to set up a website or send death threats? It's a friggin reality show. Who cares?

In Podunk, India, an infant child is married off to a dog. To ward off tigers. He was bad luck before that. Because he grew an upper tooth. Eventually the 14th century may arrive here. The article doesn't get into the specifics, but I don't understand why marriage to a dog is going to make tigers stay away unless they see how messed up the whole thing is. However, the article was kind enough to state that he won't have to divorce the dog in the future to marry a human. Well, duh. He's an infant. The dog will be dead by then. Is that statement absurd? Yes. But not as absurd as anything else in that story.

Remember how the last presidential election was supposed to mark our return to being friends with other countries? Well, not if we keep giving them crappy presents. Apparently, the British Prime Minister came over for a visit and brought some nice gifts. A pen holder made from an 1800s anti-slavery ship. Probably pretty expensive. Some other nice stuff. They even gave the Obama brats some designer duds and unpublished children's books. What did they get in return? Well, the Gordon Brown kids got a helicopter model (thank God the White House gift shop was open). Brown himself got a DVD set. Now, I could care less about making any foreigner happy, but I have a big problem with the movie list. It's supposed to be classic American films, but why is Lawrence of Arabia on there (and Deep Throat isn't). I looked it up on IMDB to be sure I was right. Let's see. English director. English star. English story. Sounds like an English movie to me.

Man kills wife about 20 years ago. Gets out after 15 years. Marries another woman. Kills her and her son. Marrying a man who killed his wife? Good idea.

But here's some friggin' good news. Someone has discovered how belly button lint occurs. Well, thank you Jesus. I was just sitting here the other day cleaning out some belly button lint and wondered how the hell it got there. Now I know. And it only took three years to find out. I'd describe why, but it falls into that category of "Who The Hell Cares?"

A Chinese man had some cash flow problems. So, he needed to fire four of his five mistresses. He had a contest. One of the women who lost took the rest on a drive and drove off a cliff. This is why you don't let your mistresses meet.

Ah, the New York Times. It's supposed to be the standard bearer for newspapers in this country. Yet, somehow it was fooled by a parody blog about dating bankers. But hey, they probably editorialized that Obama would govern from the center too.

But lots of news organizations get fooled. That story above about the Chinese mistress driving off a cliff. That was made up too. It's a damned shame when you can't take a Chinese news source at it's word.

It used to be that people would stay married for the kids, but now they should stay married for the environment. If they're idiots. I won't get into how ridiculous it is to say one person's "carbon footprint" means anything. I'll just point out how ridiculous it is that this article needed a file photo for it, and the best they could come up with is some tubby white guy trying to spoon his significant other on the beach.

Haven't people heard of eBay? A couple got arrested for trying to buy two children from a woman. The price? A cockatoo. At least it's worth $1500 (although I don't know why since it's a friggin bird). The problem was the woman selling the children was only the babysitter. Albeit, a long term one since she'd had them for a year. Maybe breastfeeding your infant while driving isn't so bad. Leaving them with a woman for a year until she tries to trade them for a sorta parrot might be worse.

Cracked.com manages to come up with some nice lists. This one has strange objects people were having sex with. Now, I'm not going to question how strange it is to have sex with a bike or a picnic table. My only complaint is why it didn't include Alex Rodriguez sticking it in Madonna. That's definitely stranger than having sex with a lamp post.