Catching Up

Been kind of busy so have quite a few stories saved up that I figure I need to get out. Let's start with the United Nations referring to the United States as "deadbeat" for being late on dues which our Exalted Ruler wants to take care of (too bad appropriations are done in Congress). My response probably would have been different. Would have begun with "F" and ended with "You". I might have pointed out that the U.S. doesn't owe the U.N. 22% of their budget if we don't want to pay it. It's a voluntary organization. So, we can volunteer to leave. Which isn't a bad idea. Let's see what our money is funding. Widespread corruption which doesn't seem to be much of a concern to the U.N. because they're holding up appointing a new boss for their investigation unit. The problem seems to be that competence is not valued as much as being a Ugandan woman. The U.N. also wants to spend $2 million on another racism conference. What's wrong with that? The conference on racism was so inherently racist that Obama didn't want to be involved. Oh, and if that's not enough, our money is funding sex tours for UN peacekeepers. I don't know why some members of Congress would be averse to throwing money at that organization.

Now, these are the stories you love. A Jewish restaurant mistakenly serves non-kosher hot dog and a riot almost breaks out as "a hundred enraged people" go after the cook who fights back with an electric knife. Actually, I watched the video and that hundred people seems exaggerated, but the cook did pull out the electric knife. He would have been better off with a butcher knife. Slashing blade and sharp point. Much more effective.

Here was a part of the AIG bonus foolishness that I missed. A bunch of state attorney generals are now "investigating" the AIG bonuses. By investigating, I think they mean "political grandstanding". Common sense tells me they don't have real standing since the money given to AIG was from the federal treasury. Assuming their excuse to get involved is really the reason, I must say I have a problem with a state AG thinking he has standing to investigate a company based on lost shareholder value. But 19 of them are just making hay. The 20th is a certified moron. He's the AG of Connecticut. Where a lot of the bonuses were paid. What's he want to happen? The bonuses be given back? Hey genius, if they keep the bonuses, your state gets to tax them for it. If they don't, you get nothing.

LeAnn Rimes is cheating on her husband. So sad. She was such a clean, wholesome girl. But I know where it went wrong. She did Coyote Ugly. Biggest dick tease of a movie ever. Previews made you think it was going to be a T&A fest. Nope. Cheesy girl-moves-to-big-city-to-follow-her-dreams-even-though-Bruce-Springsteen-didn't-need-to-drive-20-minutes-from-New-Jersey-to-make-it-in-the-music-business movie. When the previews show me women dancing on bars, I think full frontal female nudity is involved. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, here's a good one. A woman who is ordained in the Episcopal Church was defrocked for the minor transgression of converting to Islam. How intolerant of the church. Gee, how could that possibly affect her ministry? One person asked about it had this to say - "It's hard for me to understand how a Christian minister could have dual loyalties." Not me. She's an idiot and has no real beliefs. She'll probably be an Orthodox Jew or Scientologist next month.

Hmmm. The President flies in a pizza cook from St. Louis to serve a "casual lunch". That's the man of the people right there. I always have my pizza delivered by plane. I will now hold my breath waiting for the environmental psychos to complain about the carbon footprint generated by such an unnecessary trip when there are plenty of pizza places within walking distance (not to mention an entire cooking staff at the White House). Of course, this is the candidate who stated "We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times...and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK." Until he got to the White House where he cranked up the thermostat. I guess "we" means "people other than Barak Obama".

Speaking of rules that should only be followed by the little people, several Congressmen have been found to be taking a homestead credit for homes in Maryland. Which is a credit for home residence. Which would be fine except these Congressmen are from states other than Maryland. And based on a little technicality called the United States Constitution, their home residence should legally be in the state they represent. I do like how they contend that what they did was perfectly legal, and they were willing to pay whatever the county says they owe. Pardon me if I find them completely full of crap. They knew when they filed for it that they were claiming the house as their primary residence. If I was their constituents, I'd be asking how a man is supposed to represent me if he considers his home to be 2500 miles away and just rents an apartment for the few times he comes around.

A deadly spider may or may not have been found at a Whole Foods Store. I don't care. I will now avoid health food. Well, I won't start buying health food. But that's neither here nor there. The part that caught my attention was the statement that its bite will cause men to have an erection. Man, I must have been bit a lot when I was in high school.

I've never been that big a fan of video games, but I'm wondering if I've just been playing with the wrong people.

Man, what a relief this news story is. Here I was wasting all my time doing the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper. Now some professor has come up with an algorithm that will allow people to solve a puzzle in just quite a bit more time than normal. Truthfully, I find both sides to be rather stupid. The Sudoku lovers are in a tizzy because it'll spoil their game. Well, not really since you don't have to use it. Some people can still do math in their head (I know it's a stretch to believe). As for the guy who did it, doesn't he feel like he wasted a lot of time? He came up with a more inefficient way of solving a puzzle. He really should be more involved in government work.

Normally, I find stories about pornography to be interesting and insightful. Well, usually just amusing. A female pilot won a settlement because she kept finding pornography (actually sounds like naked pictures of women) in the cockpit of planes that she flew. Apparently, her pre-flight check included searching every nook and cranny for leftover pornography. She doesn't know how lucky she is. I was in high school in the pre-internet days. Does she not know how valuable "found" pornography was? Now, I would prefer my pilots be more professional than looking at dirty pictures while flying. However, I'm glad the bitch is out of the cockpit. She claimed that finding pornography made her go on meds and have to stop flying. Yeah, that's who I want flying my plane. Someone who is so mentally fragile that a picture of some chick fishhooking her crotch will give her the shakes. Wonder what would have happened if she'd been on Flight 1549. She probably would have tried a belly landing on top of an apartment complex. She probably put that crap there herself just so she could sue.

And much like finding someone I wouldn't want as a pilot, I've found someone I wouldn't want as a shrink. But I didn't need to see a picture of a 61 year old psychiatrist doing blow off her leg to know she would never handle my mental health (or lack of). The fact that she was Anna Nicole Smith's psychiatrist pretty much lets me know her competence level.

There are certain places in the world that you begin to think that they deserve whatever happens to them. Four Oakland police officers were killed by some scumbag criminal. How did citizens of this city respond? Marched in support of the scumbag. Want to know why this scumbag probably did it? Probably because he knew the cops were looking for him over a small matter of raping a 12 year old. Well done, morons of Oakland. Congrats on having the Raiders. Your sorry ass city deserves it.

I was driving down Versailles Road the other day and saw something I never thought I would see. A slightly banged up, gray Chevette. With an antique car tag. One of those that usually is only seen on classic cars. I guess it's technically an antique car. I think the criteria is that it has to be 20 years old and since GM stopped making that POS in 1986, it has to be that old. To be honest, I'm shocked it was still running.

I've already pointed out that I can't take Oakland seriously as a city. Nor can I take the state that it's in seriously either. California is actually thinking about banning black cars. It has something to do with global warming which is now called climate change because we are no longer warming and to continue to warn about warming that isn't happening might seem silly to rational people. Climate change can still be used because the earth's climate has changed drastically throughout history with no help at all from us. Want to know who the happiest people are about this latest nonsense from the land of wackjobs? Car dealers just across the border in other states.

Some British newspaper ran a piece about Rod Stewart and his wife who may have a name but I don't really care wanting to put their child in some private English school. Which is something else I don't care about. The only interest I had was when I saw the picture. Good lord, look at the nipples on that woman. And Stewart better watch out. They're at eye level and with those nipples jutting out like that, he could get his eye poked out. Whenever I see an unattractive singer with something like that, I curse this horrible singing voice I have.