This Week In Sports

I was originally going to ignore UK basketball's little hiccup (okay, vomit might be a better word) against Gardner-Webb. Sure, it was embarrassing for the local team. Sure, it led to some funny moments at work the next day as UK fans overreacted. Really, the number of booze and sex related rumors that were being spread (remember, these were UK fans spreading the rumor, not me) were quite varied. The rumor that he's had multiple drunken pullovers without getting a DUI and ended up getting university supplied driver wouldn't be that surprising. He does have a history there. The sex rumors have certainly run the gamut. There's one about him getting caught picking up a hooker in an alley. I'm sure that would have already been out, but even if true, it shows poor judgment. He can afford much better than a street whore. Then, there was the rumor he preferred boys to girls which could explain his obsessive practicing. More practice = more showers. Most likely this would lead to a few problems among the UK fan base. The last rumor was that he picked up two 19 year old girls and tag teamed them at a hotel. Can't really think of anything else to say except "way to go, dude".

But I figured it still wasn't that big a deal. Sure, Gardner-Webb was a 9 win Atlantic Sun team last year that had no business beating a UK especially so handily. But I wrote after Tubby Smith left that due to a lack of personnel, I thought UK was going to struggle this year anyway (which is one of the reasons I thought Smith jumped ship) so my expectations for them were pretty low. I thought the fact that they were ranked to start the season was a joke. They weren't even receiving votes at the end of last year, and I didn't think they would any better this year. They lost their entire front line and top backup at center (for what the giant Pole was worth). When I saw that sophomore walk-on Mark Coury (he played 20 minutes last year - total) was starting, I thought someone was nuts. Then I realized there really wasn't anyone else. UK's interior is either young (Patterson) or sucks (the rest).

In fact, I wonder how bad this team would be without the freshmen. Patrick Patterson and Alex Legion are already two of the better players, but they are screwed by some of the returning players. Guys like Ramel Bradley and Joe Crawford are ball hogs who haven't seen a bad shot they won't take. God forbid they pass that up to give the ball to someone else. Maybe if Derrick Jasper ever gets back, there will be someone to pass the ball to Patterson who is probably their best player. The last reason I thought the loss to Gardner-Webb wasn't a big deal is Jodie Meeks was playing poorly. I think based on his play at the end of last year, UK's success could follow how well he plays. Oh wait, that could be a problem.

Well, Barry Bonds was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice for lying before a grand jury investigating his steroid supplier. A lot of people thought he wasn't going to be charged, but they were wrong. Kind destroys his argument that his home run record wasn't tainted. But really, who honestly believed he was clean? The fun from the story was watching the talking heads "discuss" it on ESPN. Stephen A. Stupid claimed that the only reason a team wouldn't take a chance on Bonds now is his skills have declined, but if he was still a great player, someone would sign him. Brilliant. How's that federal indictment affecting Michael Vick's career? Then Charles Barkley was interviewed (always go to the basketball analyst when discussing a baseball player). Among his paranoid rantings was that Bonds was being persecuted because Jason Giambi wasn't indicted for steroids, but Bonds was. He was oblivious to the fact that Bonds hasn't been charged with using 'roids, just lying about his dealings with Balco. Word on the street is that Giambi spilled everything to the grand jury. Barkley also bitched that Bonds is being treated differently than other suspect players (he needs to ask Mark McGwire how is Hall of fame bid is going) and why is this steroid stuff only leaked on Bonds (Paul Byrd might have an argument with that). Barry Bonds is an arrogant, ass whose dirty deeds caught up with him.

In other baseball news, Alex Rodriguez just agreed to re-sign with the New York Yankees for 10 years and $279 million. That was in spite of George Steinbrenner's kids who run the team now saying they didn't want Rodriguez because he opted out of his contract (he had three years left) which proved he didn't really want to be a Yankee. Now the Steinbrenners are spinning that Rodriguez could have gotten more money on the open market so by taking less to re-sign, he's proven that he really does want to be a Yankee. Yeah, right. That's a load of bull. No one pays more than the Yankees. The other argument being thrown out is Rodriguez's agent Scott Boras screwed up by having him opt out because he overestimated the market for his client, and he's essentially getting what the Yankees were offering before the opt out. Boras didn't get what he hoped for, but he came out the better even though it might not have been as good for Rodriguez. The Yankees were offering to extend him to ten years for about the same total. Now, Boras gets his percentage based on the new 10 year deal instead of a seven year extension. When you consider how much 3% of $80 million is, Boras is ahead.

I have decided who the Heisman Trophy winner should be. Dennis Dixon of Oregon. Even though he may never play another college game after injuring his knee against Arizona. Oregon was rolling with him, but after he got hurt, they turned to crap. Of course, when you are forced to turn to Ryan Leaf's little brother, you've got problems.

A few years ago, Cincinnati Bengals fans were coming out of the woodwork in Lexington. Where have they all gone?

Some nutbag woman drove through a security gate at Gillette Stadium and ended up with her car left on a New England Patriots' practice field. Man, some people go crazy in an attempt to get impregnated by Tom Brady.

OJ Simpson is going to trial for armed robbery against a sports memorabilia seller. His response "As always, I rely on the jury system." Makes sense. If a jury is willing to let a little thing like murder slide, they'll be open to acquitting him on armed robbery. And hopefully soon. OJ needs to get out to the golf course and find the real robber.