Just The News

A man is in trouble for repeatedly calling 911 to ask them to bring some more beer to his house. I don’t see why he’s in such trouble. It was obviously an emergency. And what did they want him to do? Drive out and get it himself? That would have been irresponsible. Look what happened to this guy. He even had a designated driver. His drunken 13 year old son. This is just an example of poor parenting. My father never would have let this happen. I wouldn't have been allowed to go drinking with him until I could afford to chip in.

Those drunk asses were probably mourning what is about to happen in Tennessee. The state may end up destroying hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniels for being sold without a license. Some are antiques worth $10,000. Typical friggin' government. They'll probably try to raise taxes while destroying something valuable.

Best birthday ever. A mistake by an entertainment agency caused a stripper to be sent to school for a student’s birthday instead of the “gorillagram” ordered. What is a gorillagram and who would want one? Anyway, the stripper put the guy on leash and led him around the room after stripping to her underwear. It was only as she was trying to make the student rub some cream on her rear that the teacher stepped in and ended it. Which bring a couple of questions to mind. Did the stripper not realize she was at a high school and there could be a mistake? Did the teacher really need to wait until that point to put a stop to it?

Awhile back I wrote about the young woman who was almost thrown off a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing an outfit the stewardess deemed too revealing (it wasn't even close). Well, she's back in the news. She's profiting off the notoriety of the incident to get a Playboy spread. I think if she can get some money out of it, good for her. I think this could be an ongoing news report that I personally should keep up with. Maybe I should get a subscription to that magazine so I don't accidentally miss it. For research purposes only.

This story shows why I stopped picking nuns up in bars (other than the fear of burning in Hell). You have a little too much to drink. Your stuff doesn’t work. They jam something up it. If I had a dollar for every time this happened to me………

I’m not a Catholic, so whether they want to have female priest is entirely up to the Vatican. However, I find this story quite confusing. Some group of rabble rousing women is trying promote that cause by having themselves ordained into the Catholic Church. The fact that the Church doesn’t recognize those ordinations and in fact, may excommunicate them means to me that they aren’t really being ordained into the Catholic Church. That’s neither here nor there. What gets me is that a Jewish Reform congregation is allowing the ordination to be done at their synagogue. The article mostly deals with the fact that it will kill any working relationship people that synagogue and the local Archdiocese, but the bigger question is why would you allow your consecrated worship area to be used for a ceremony of a completely different religion?

Here’s a wonderful story. It’s another tale that explains why Johnny can’t read or do simple math. Our school systems are run by idiots. A kid wears a ghost costume for Halloween. Some people think it could look like a Klan outfit. He gets suspended for two days because in the words of the superintendent, “Whether it was meant to be a ghost costume or not, it was not interpreted that way.” So, basically, this school system suspended a student for two days because someone may misinterpret his costume? Am I the only one who thinks this is completely friggin nuts?

Whenever I see another story about a female teacher bumping nasties with an underage male student, I'm always struck by how different it is than when a male teacher drops one on a female student. First, female teachers don't seem to get the same level of punishment as a male teacher. Even better, they often play the victim and say they fell prey to a 13 year old romeo. The other difference is that male teachers appear to just want a little nookie. Female teachers seem to fall in love. With teenage boys. Maybe this is why Johnny can't read. His teacher is a hormonal wreck. Now, here's a different, yet interesting take on the latest teacher spreading for love.

I'll keep this story in mind the next time I hear some left wing Ivy League intellectual say he does support the U.S. troops. In the hometown of Harvard University, a local boy scout troop set up donation boxes at polling places to collect items for care packages for American soldiers. There was a complaint that these donation boxes were "pro-war" so they were removed. Apparently, sending Snickers to a soldier sitting in the desert is the height of militancy. The mayor is quoted as saying it was a mistake and the council will help them realize their goals. Translation: let's do something before we look like bigger horse's asses than we already do. Reminds me of a quote from William F. Buckley: "I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University."

Well, the military has said it is stopping the beard-shaving-as-punishment for captured terrorists at Gitmo because the Muslims were getting enraged by the humiliation. Oh, the horror of getting a shave. Let's see. We're talking about a group of people who like to cut people's heads off, subjugate non-males and non-Muslims, punish rape victims, issue death decrees against authors (among many others), blow up schoolchildren (among many others), fly planes into skyscrapers and many other less than wholesome pursuits. Frankly, I'm having trouble mustering too much sympathy for them getting their beards shaved. But if that's what is bothering them, fine. Next time they a bag of crap on a guard, don't cut off their beard. Break their arm. Now everyone is happy.