News Stories and Weekend Picks

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame had their inductions recently. I usually don't pay too much attention to them since it's basically decided by Jann Wenner who runs Rolling Stone which hasn't been worth a crap since P.J. O'Rourke left. The real reason I don't pay attention is because acts like Madonna are in (which I may have criticized before) instead of real rock 'n roll groups like Rush or Chicago. But here it is again. Metallica made it, but so did Run-DMC. Not to take anything away from Run-DMC, but they aren't a rock 'n roll act. Sure they did a cover of "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith, but they had Aerosmith do the song with them. I doubt it gets as popular without Aerosmith. I'm not a hip hop fan, except of course for the Fat Boys because you know they can never be wack. However, I don't care how good Run-DMC was in hip hop. They could be the greatest rap act ever, but this is the rock 'n roll hall of fame. They don't belong. Sure, they had one sorta rock hit with "Walk This Way", but they aren't going to put Deion Sanders in the Baseball Hall of Fame because he was a great football player who had one good season in baseball. And don't give me any crap about their influence leading to Nu metal because while some like Linkin Park had their moments, I don't think anyone should want to claim the spawning of Limp Bizkit.

Maybe I'm the only one who cares about stuff like this, but I was fascinated that a 1937 Bugatti worth over $4 million was found in some dudes garage in England after his death. I'm just offended that he hadn't driven it in almost 50 years and couldn't clean the damned dust off. You have one of the great classic cars of all time and you park it?

It's kind of nice to know that England doesn't stand for public sex. A woman was arrested for pleasuring her boyfriend on the street outside a bar. Three times. My first thought was for them to get a room. Then I saw a picture of her and began to think her having sexual relations even in private should be illegal.

But at least she's just some local junkie. In Uruguay, the interior secretary caused some controversy because she posted a picture of herself nekkid in the shower on Facebook. She defended herself by "saying the photo was not made available publicly or intended to be erotic." I didn't see the picture in question (thank God), but I saw a picture of her and I don't think any picture of her doing anything could ever be interpreted as erotic.

Philadelphia at Arizona
I got the Philly win over the Giants right. I was wrong about Arizona. Even though I was rooting for them, I did not think they could go into Carolina and win. Not only did they go into Carolina, but they dominated. So, now I can root for them and also pick them to win. One reason is Philadelphia is banged up. They may not have a healthy Brian Westbrook who is the only gamebreaker for the Eagles. Another is that Arizona plays really well at home and their defense has suddenly become good. Not adequate. Not decent. They are actually doing well. But the main reason is that Anquan Boldin may be back. Without him, Kurt Warner killed the Panthers with Larry Fitzgerald. How will those two do with Boldin back? For those in the TRU Fantasy Football League, you might remember several weeks back when I mentioned that of all the wide receivers in the NFL, I would take Fitzgerald over any of them (you can see the link here, but it's not safe for work or home for that matter; just scroll past pictures of naked women until you get to the topless girl showing her ass). He gets open. He catches everything. He and Methuelah.... I mean Kurt Warner will lead the Cardinals past the Iggles.

People think I'm utterly insane because I haven't seen a doctor in years. Well, that and other things. Lots of other things. However, the latest study on medical fashion show that my paranoia about doctors and nurses (non-porn star) isn't unfounded. People in the medical profession like to keep wearing their scrubs without washing them even though they know that it's covered in bacteria. Let this be a lesson to those who wish to engage in adultery (no names mentioned) and happen to pick up herpes. Just say that you went to the doctor for a physical and got it from his lab coat.

Now this is a doctor who knows what he wants. He donated a kidney to his wife. Now they are divorcing over an alleged affair by the woman with a man's kidney. He wants his kidney back or a million and half dollars for his trouble. I'm completely taking his side on this one. Sure, he's not going to get his kidney back, but he shouldn't have to give her anything. The allegation is that her affair started a couple of years after the operation. If so, how low rent is that? If she can't go five years without cheating on the man who gave her an organ for filtering urine, she doesn't deserve anything from him.

Speaking of cheating, one of Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" from that silly reality show has admitted that she would sneak out of the house to bang some other dudes. I must say I love the headline that says "she cheated on Hugh Hefner for sex". I guess as opposed to cheating on him with cards. Let's move into reality for a minute. She's engaged to some other guy. Gee, I wonder is she was sneaking out to have sex with him. Did people really think those three bimbos were actual girlfriends who were having sex with Hefner instead of props to make some egotistical geriatric believe he's still some kind of male sex symbol?

Hey, here's a new girlfriend for Hef. Some college chick is selling her virginity online. And supposedly getting offers of a quarter of a million dollars (I'm holding my arm up so the BS doesn't get on my watch). While I'm sure popping a virgin is something rare in this day and age for non-pedophiles, I just can't see anyone really paying that much for an act that will be over in 45 seconds (that is the average time, right?). My favorite part is that she is getting her Masters in Family and Marriage Therapy. If I was going to marriage counseling, I'd want her. How is she going to tell you that a husband spending time with prostitutes is bad?

Speaking of marriage, a couple that met on an internet dating service got married. At Taco Bell. Now, I like Taco Bell. And I'm not really much of a romantic. But I can't see getting married at a Taco Bell. Going to the Justice of the Peace and stopping at the drive-thru afterwards, sure. Having the wedding there, I don't think so.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh
Yeah, I know. I have an inherent bias towards the Steelers. And I hate the Ravens for being the main divisional rival to Pittsburgh. And I lived amongst whiny ex-Baltimore Colts fans for a few years before they did to Cleveland what Indy did to them (yet they still feel like a victim). Still, I think the Steelers have to stink up the field to lose this one even if the previous games were close. For one, they're at home. They play much better there. They are also playing well since Willie Parker looks healthy. I like Mewelde Moore, but having him and Parker is huge. Not only that, but the Ravens are hurt. They won't have their best corner, Samari Rolle, and Terrell Suggs is a gametime decision (don't worry, he'll play). Besides, the Steelers rolled over the Chargers while the Ravens were lucky to beat the Titans. They won't be lucky again.

In order to beat the Titans, the Ravens got a gift from the referees. I'm fairly forgiving on referee error if they admit they screwed up. In this game, the refs gave the Ravens a standing 8 count (okay, maybe 2) without calling them for a delay of game in which the game winning drive survived a third down. It was bad. The time that ran off the game clock after hitting zero was long. Afterwards, the officials called it a "natural delay". Was he jerking off? That took forever. The assumption is that the ref looks at the play clock and when it hits zero and he looks down, if it's being snapped, they let it go. Well, that's dumb. If he looks down and the center still has the ball, he wasn't snapping it when the clock hit zero.

Want to know how batshit crazy things are in California? Some federal judge decided that prison officials were dicking around with prison health care so he appointed a receiver who decided that the state should spend billions building new "holistic" prison hospitals which included lounges, handball courts and yoga. Supposedly an inmate is dying per week which I don't really believe, but even if they are, so what? I bet a good chunk are dying due to lifestyle decisions they made in and out of prison. I'm not going to sit here and worry about a bunch of degenerate convicts over someone else who didn't do anything to get incarcerated. Considering what a lot of them do, they should be thankful they aren't taken out into the woods and tied to a tree for a bear to eat.

Not that this was the worst prison story I've read recently. In Texas, the Rangers closed down a local prison because prisoners had recliners. How do you get recliners in a jail? And does it facilitate backdoor rape?

Wow, it's a good thing our new Secretary of Education is coming from the Chicago school system. At least it will get him out of Chicago. The latest is that an off duty cop at some high school in Chicago strip searched some teenage girls after a fire was started (what was she looking for?; as a pyromaniac, I know the evidence burns up). Sure, my interest may have been perked up by the words "teenage girls" and "strip searched", but then I saw this statement by parents' attorney - "these are minor children and you don't strip search minor children without first talking to the parents". I've been talking to a lot of parents of teenage girls lately. Idle chit-chat of course.

Now this story about teenage students giving it up doesn't come from Chicago. It comes from Washington which I've reliably been told is a province out west. A court has ruled a teacher can't be prosecuted for banging a student as long as she is 18. I have to agree. I don't think that teachers should be dropping loads on students, but if the student is of age of consent, it should not be a crime. A firing offense, sure. Jail time, no. You can't make a legal differentiation between someone being old enough to get their groove on with an older man and an older man who happens to be a teacher. If an 18 year old having sex with a 33 year old is wrong if he's a teacher, it's wrong in general. Either she is old enough to spread 'em or she's not.

Unlike this situation. A man tried to sell his 14 year old daughter to an 18 year old. That should really be illegal. Although she apparently wanted to go with him. And he was offered a lot for her. $16K, 100 cases of beer and meat. Hopefully the meat was high quality beef. The best part is that he went to the police because the guy didn't pay up. Did he actually tell the cops that he didn't get his beer and meat in exchange for his very underage daughter? And how stupid was he to think an 18 year old would have access to that much money, beer and meat?

NFL Picks and Some News Stories

Well, I went three for four last week. If I was smart, I'd quit while I was ahead. But..........

Baltimore Ravens at Tennessee Titans
My first thought was that the Titans should handle this game easily. To begin with, they won in Baltimore earlier in the season. The Ravens' offense has a tendency to fold against good defenses. Tennessee has a good defense. Then I started thinking that Baltimore really does have a shot. They've got a really good defense too. Tennessee doesn't have much of a passing game and Baltimore could sell out the run. They've only lost two games since week 7. Of course, the only decent teams they beat were Miami and Philly when Philly had its collective head up its ass. They lost to the only good teams they played - Steelers and Giants. I'm going with the Titans. They spanked the Steelers in their last meaningful game of the season and I heard Ed Reed didn't practice Wednesday for the Ravens. If he's out or even gimpy, that is a killer for their defense.

In non-football related sports news, Charles Barkley got his ass arrested for a DUI. That's not that big of a story. He doesn't play anymore and I don't watch much NBA analysis. The story becomes good when you see the police report. He was pulled over for running a stop sign. His excuse was that he was picking up a girl for a BJ because she gave the best ones around. Now, how genius is that? To begin with, I'm pretty sure he's still married, so why would you want an official police report to mention that you're not only picking up a woman for oral sex, but you're picking up her up because she gave you a good one last week? And considering you're picking her up off the street, I'm thinking she might be a hooker so is telling the police that smart? And finally, does he think there is a BJ exception to traffic laws? That as long as it's good oral sex that you're running stop signs for, it's okay? I'm going to look this one up.

Speaking of improper penis talk, Kathy Griffith took some heat (or would have if anyone had really been watching) for ripping a heckler and then saying "You know, I don't go to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth." Now, I was personally offended. Not by the language, but as someone with a sense of humor, I was offended that CNN insisted on labeling her a comedienne when she's not funny. I was also offended that she couldn't think of anything more up to date than. I'm pretty sure Andrew Dice Clay used it back in the 80s, and I know it was a long time ago that I saw this clip of another comedian using it (before hitting someone with a guitar).

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers
I don't have to say much about this one. For all their faults, picking Arizona to win last week wasn't really hard because they were a much better home team and going against a rookie quarterback. This week they are on the road. At Carolina which is on the east coast and where they lost in week 8. Arizona played five games in states touching the Atlantic Ocean. They lost all five by a combined 202-102. I'd like to see Arizona win, but I don't see it happening. Take the Panthers.

Some controversy in Germany right now. Apparently they have a rat problem in Berlin. No, not Tom Cruise filming there. He's left. Real rats who are running all over the place. One politician came up with a solution to pay homeless people to kill the rats. Now, as someone who has had pet rats, I like rats. However, there's a difference between domesticated rats and nasty sewer rats much like there is between a wild dog or your average leg-humping pet. I had to laugh at the article where it was stated that it was "inhuman" to have poor people killing rats? How stupid is that? We pay people all the time to kill rats. They're called exterminators. Is it inhuman to employ them? Besides, if they're on the government dole, they should be pulling their weight better. Granted, I wouldn't be too keen on seeing this nation's homeless bums running around with shovels trying to whack rats while suffering the effects of rotgut liquor and schizophrenia. Still, there would be a lot of entertainment value in watching that. I'll leave my opinion on this uncertain.

From rats to beaver. A woman is suing her ex lover for sending naked pictures of her to her mother. I'm not saying the guy isn't a cad, but she took the pictures of herself using his cell phone. Sorry, if you're dumb enough to use his phone to take pictures of yourself, don't act surprised when bad things happen after your breakup. And breaking his phone doesn't help. But to be perfectly honest, I just posted the story because she plays in the Lingerie Football league and it had pictures.

From beaver to bad beaver. A Canadian man (which explains so much) got AIDS from his ex-wife and now is saying other men she slept with should get tested. His ex-wife is a Thai stripper. She was working as one for almost a decade. That she picked up AIDS seems to have surprised him. She's a Thai sex worker. He was lucky he didn't find out she had a wang when she got there.

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants
These two teams split the regular season with both teams winning on the road. Both games were close. The Giants certainly seem to be the better team, but my guess is the Eagles were the last team they wanted to see because they know each other so well. Brandon Jacobs should be back so that's huge for the Giants. Still, the Eagles are picking things up. The Giants did rise up and beat the Panthers in week 16, but they finished the season losing 3 of their last 4. I'm just not sold on the Giants winning it all without having a big target like Plaxico Burress. Eli Shi.....Manning looks lost at times without him (and ugly all the time). This game seems like as good as any to pick their upset so I'm taking the Eagles.

What is it about Disney and chicks wanting to whip out their knockers? You already had the whole show 'em on Splash Mountain. Now I find out that they fired some guys portraying Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean because women were flashing their breasts at them. Actually, since they aren't really Johnny Depp, I'm not really believing that's happening all that much. And even if it was Johnny Depp, get a grip people, he's from Owensboro. It ain't that exciting. But I may just go down and see if I can get the person dressed as Ariel fired by flashing my junk at her. Or the one in Minnie Mouse.

This is a cheery story. A guy calls in a heart attack in England. The EMTs show up, see how "untidy" his place is and let him die because it wasn't worth the effort to save him. We know this because they weren't smart enough to realize the phone was still on an open line. Guy living alone in a messy place? Remind me never to move to there. Gee, a country with socialized medicine and people question whether someone deserves to die on the floor rather than get treatment? Who would have thought that? Besides me. And some others.

Another health related story from England that doesn't involve letting people die. An interracial couple had a set of twins, and one looked black and one looked white. Not completely uncommon since they were fraternal twins and one can get dominant genetics from one parent while the other child gets it from the other. Which I assume the article mentioned, but I didn't really read it. However, the story gets a lot less common because they did again. Two sets of fraternal twins with different genetic pigmentation? That is not common at all. Statistically, it's seems highly unlikely. Since I prefer to think the worst of people (I really don't, but people expect me to), I did some research. It's possible for a woman to have fraternal twins with different fathers. I'm not saying that Mom was sleeping around here, but if I was the daddy, I'd start asking what she was doing the morning of conception.

San Diego Charger at Pittsburgh Steelers
I'm pretty sure that anyone who knows me knows that I will never pick against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I'm not even going into detail why the future 2009 Super Bowl champions will beat the hosers from the left coast.

Let's do a couple of Why Johnny Can't Read stories. This story came out awhile back and it should kill any misconceptions that public universities are defenders of free thought rather than bastions of political correctness. A student at IUPUI takes a job as a janitor at the school to help pay for his education. He was charged with racial harassment by the school for reading an anti-KKK book on his own time because he read it in front of co-workers who were, let's just say for argument's sake, overly sensitive. Defenders of the guy keep making the argument that since it was an anti-Klan book, that it was okay for him to read it. That's some BS right there. It doesn't matter what or why he was reading. Reading a book about the Klan doesn't make you a bigot. I still own a copy of the Communist Manifesto from when I was in college. I don't think anyone would believe I am a communist even if I claimed to be. But that doesn’t matter anyway. He could be a wannabe Klansman and it would be irrelevant. He was on his break. He wasn’t engaging in Klan activities. He was reading a friggin’ book. It’s beyond belief that a center of learning would try to censor what their employees read on personal time. Actually, it’s not beyond belief because universities are havens for politically correct intolerance.

The Chicago public schools are trying to clean up their act. Apparently they've been spending money without oversight and doing other crap, but I want to focus on the cappuccino machines. They bought 30 of them for schools. For $67,000. Even though they weren't requested. Here is my problem. The inspector general is unhappy for two reasons. They spread it between several schools to keep from getting bids. And it was $12,000 more than if they had gotten competitive bids. WTF? He's not even asking the right questions. One, why do schools need a cappuccino machine? They're coffee pots. Two, you can get them at Walmart (unless you're Phil or the Divines) for a few hundred bucks. They paid over $2200, but they could have only paid $1800 for a coffee pot with a steamer on it. That $55,000 they think they should have paid is still more than the median household income in the U.S.. And it was for 30 coffee pots. Fiscal sanity is still paying five times as much? And yet, school systems are wondering why they don't have any money. Here's a good idea. Let's make the head of Chicago Public Schools the new Secretary of Education. What could go wrong there?

NFL Wildcard Weekend

Written while watching Alabama trailing by 11 late in the fourth quarter after falling behind 21-0 which was my least expected moment of the bowl games. Well, except two teams in the Sun Bowl averaging 30 points a game and finishing with a 3-0 game. Didn't they practice before going to the game? Since beating Alabama made Florida the number one team, doesn't this mean Utah should now be the number one team since they are the only undefeated team left?

I do have another thought about the Sugar Bowl. I had mentioned before how strange it is that BYU (the Mormon school) was playing in Vegas. Well, Utah isn't a Mormon based university but considering almost two thirds of the state are Mormons, a good chunk of their fan bases is also Mormon. That means the two schools with the with non-drinking religious fan base were sent to Vegas and New Orleans.

But onto the NFL. It constantly amazes me how many teams lay an egg when the playoffs are on the line. The most obvious example would be Dallas. Win and you're in. Lose by 36 and you're out. Dallas didn't even show up. Denver just needed a win to get in. Lost by 31. Chicago needed a win (and some help) to get in. Lost to Houston. Tampa was in the same shape and lost to crappy Oakland. At home. Even teams that got wins weren't all that impressive. Carolina wins and gets a bye. Needed last second field goal to beat New Orleans. If Carolina had lost, an Atlanta win would have given them the bye. They were losing late to that pathetic Rams before getting the win. Minnesota didn't know Chicago was going to lose to give them the division. Yet, with a win needed, they were taken down to the wire by the Giants' backups.

Atlanta at Arizona
Actually a tough call here. Common sense tells me that Atlanta should win. The Cardinals suck on defense. They have no running game to speak of. Of their last ten games, the only teams they beat were Seattle (twice), St. Louis (twice) and San Francisco. They also lost at New England by 40. In that same time, Atlanta beat playoff teams Minnesota, San Diego and Carolina. Still, I'm not ready to write off the Cardinals yet. Maybe I still have nostalgia for Kurt Warner's days in St. Louis when the Greatest Show On Turf was so fun to watch. However, there's other reasons to give the Cardinals a shot. Atlanta wasn't as good on the road as at home. Even wins were harder to get. Arizona only had two home losses and one was a tight game against the defending Super Bowl champs. Still, the other loss was to the Vikings by three touchdowns in their last home game. Kind of makes you worried. Two wins in their last six games is also a concern. I just get the gut feeling that the Cardinals are going to take it. So, put all your money on the Falcons. The added benefit is I'm sure Dave Spitzer will take picking against Atlanta personally.

Indianapolis at San Diego
This is another game where it seems obvious on the surface that the Colts should win. The Chargers are 8-8 and needed to win their last four games just to win a crap division. They're facing a 12 win Colts team that has won 9 straight. Still, it makes you wonder. The Colts won the games but they weren't exactly dominant in their wins. Outside of that, they only have two of those nine wins by more than a touchdown and one was the last game of the season between backups. The other was the Bengals who suck. The Chargers three losses since their week 9 bye were to playoff teams and all were close. But they did have two really close wins over Kansas City who suck. Still, if you go back over the past few years, the Chargers have matched up well with the Colts. And I know a lot of Colts fans so I wouldn't mind talking some trash about them getting beat. However, there is an x-factor. LaDanian Tomlinson may not play. Since Indy sucks against the run, that could be major. If he plays, I think the Chargers pull off the upset.

Baltimore at Miami
It was pretty funny to me that pundits were debating whether the Packers were better off without Brett Favre since the Packers record got worse while the Jets got better. Still, Favre played like crap to finish the season and the Dolphins knocked them off to take the division. Maybe the question should ask if the Jets were better off with Favre over Chad Pennington. This playoff game is between two teams out of nowhere to make the playoff, but Miami is obviously the biggest surprise since they won 1 game last year and increased that to 11 this year. With Chad Pennington who was released by the Jets after trading Favre. Now, Baltimore wasn't as big a differential, but they only won four games last year. That kind of skews things because it means their schedule didnt' include too many playoff teams. This means the Dolphins played only three playoff teams with a win over the Chargers and losses to the Cardinals and the Ravens who they are playing now. The Ravens did play six playoff teams, but they lost five of them with the only win over the Dolphins. So the real question is whether the Dolphins are better now than they were in week seven. I think they are and will be playing in the second round of the playoffs.

Philadelphia at Minnesota
Philadelphia had the longest odds of making the playoffs going into the last week. They beat Dallas and watched Tampa and Chicago lose to give them the last wildcard spot. Minnesota could have lost the last week and still won the division after Chicago lost. I'm taking Philadelphia. With their top defensive tackles banged up, I don't trust anyone on the Vikings team (or coaching staff) except Adrian Peterson. I don't think he's enough.

BCS Bowls

Rose Bowl (Jan 1): Penn State vs. Southern Cal - This is called the Granddaddy of them all or some such stuff. I think it’s a load of crap, because it was the last major bowl to agree to the BCS system because they were so wedded to the Big Ten/PAC 10 matchup. Well, look at the list of Rose Bowls. I watch a lot of college football. The two best Rose Bowls I ever saw were Texas over Southern Cal and Michigan in back to back seasons. You might notice that Texas is not in those two conferences. The last Rose Bowl that included PAC 10 versus Big Ten and was worth watching was the 1998 Michigan win over Washington State. So, not having that matchup was helpful to the Rose Bowl, but we’re back to the PAC 10 versus Big Ten. Now a lot of people are expecting Southern Cal to beat down Penn State because the Big 10 has been absolutely hammered by opponents in recent BCS bowl games. However, there’s a couple of things that make it could be closer. Penn State’s offense was just as good as USC’s, and I don’t think PAC 10 defenses are a lot better than Big 10 ones. However, people think USC’s offense is disappointing so it’s not saying much to say Penn State is as good. Penn State squashed Oregon State who beat Southern Cal. However that was a road game for Southern Cal and home for Penn State. Plus, Southern Cal destroyed Ohio State who Penn State barely beat. Still, it does show that this really could be an even matchup. The X-factor could be Joe Paterno. Sure, he’s past his prime, but he’s still got one of the best bowl game winning percentages (23-10-1). Even lately, he’s still 9-2 since joining the Big 10 in 1993. Still, I think playing Southern Cal in the Rose Bowl is too much. Penn State’s offense isn’t really better than the Trojans. And I don’t think their defense is near as good. Southern Cal probably has the best defense in the country this year. So, I think Big 10 struggles in BCS games will continue.

Orange Bowl (Jan 1): Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech - Cincinnati just does whatever it takes to win. Sure, I could pick them to win because Louisville plays in the Big East. However, the Big East has won their last three BCS games (one of which I attended). I can’t remember the last BCS game the ACC won. So, while I wouldn’t necessarily take Cincinnati over most of the other BCS teams, I’ll take them over Virginia Tech any day. I think they got lucky to catch Georgia Tech early because Georgia Tech is better now than Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech still has the solid defense, but Cincinnati does just fine on that side of the ball. I really don’t see any Tech offensive player that I find that frightening. I know Cincinnati has a couple of really good receivers in Marshwan Gilyard and Dominick Goodman. Sure, Tech has a better running game, but I think that is more likely to keep the game close. Unfortunately for them, Cincinnati has a habit of winning close games. Plus, I didn’t care too much for the ACC this year.

Sugar Bowl (Jan 1): Alabama vs. Utah - Ah, the BCS buster against the old school SEC team. For the second time, Utah has finished undefeated and given a chance to play in a BCS bowl. They won the last time but it was against Pitt at the time the Big East was reorganizing. However, Boise State also won their BCS trip two years ago. Of course, Hawaii got thumped last year in the Sugar Bowl. However, that Hawaii team was nowhere as good as this year’s Utah team. And there is a lot to like about Utah’s chances. I like their quarterback, Brian Johnson, a lot. If they can keep pressure off him, he can do some stuff. If they can’t, Utah is screwed because they don’t have much of a running game. Bama does have a good running game, but a weak quarterback. That could be a problem because their best offensive lineman just got suspended. And Utah is good against the run. So, if Utah can get some offensive scoring, they’ve got a shot. It’s not like Alabama has been a juggernaut. Yes, they won all their games until Florida, but they didn’t wow you too much. They thumped obviously overmatched teams and struggled against some mediocre ones. So, if they let Utah have an opening, it could be a problem for them. So, am I willing to pick Utah? No. I’ll go with Bama. I think their defense is just too strong. In fact, I think it Alabama does blow out Utah, it’ll be like their win over Georgia. Defense got them rolling with turnovers and good field position and Georgia just couldn’t catch up.

Fiesta Bowl (Jan 5): Texas vs. Ohio State - Did I mention how little respect I have for the Big Ten? The word I’m hearing is that Ohio State should have a good game because they’ve won their last four Fiesta Bowls. Well, one was in 1984. One was against a bad Notre Dame that had no business being there. One was a decent Kansas State team. One was a win over Miami aided by a BS pass interference call in overtime. Basically, those wins don’t mean anything to me. What I look at is the fact that the last two times Ohio State has faced a team with speed, they got thumped. Now, maybe this time will be different because the pressure of a national title game won’t be there. Ohio State did keep it close against Penn State, but the only other quality team they played was Southern Cal and they got thumped. Texas has only one loss. That was at the last minute to another one loss team on the road with a great play made. I think Texas has as much business being in the title game as Oklahoma. So, I certainly don’t think they’ll lose to Ohio State.

BCS Title Game (Jan 8): Florida vs. Oklahoma - This is an interesting game. I could see it being a great game with a close score. I could see it being a blowout by either team. It's the two best conferences matched up. I think the Big 12 is certainly better this year. Does that mean I think Oklahoma will win? Not necessarily. Against any other team in the SEC, sure. Florida? That's a tough call. I think Florida is a whole lot better than the rest of the SEC. I can't say that about Oklahoma and the Big 12. Since losing to Mississippi, Florida dominated until they got challenged by Alabama in the title game. But at the same time, Oklahoma has only had one team within 22 points since losing to Texas and that included an undefeated Texas Tech. I think Florida has a great defense, but I'm really impressed by Oklahoma's offense. They have scored over 61 points in six straight games. That's impressive. It's an interesting case. I don't think Oklahoma had to face such a defense in the Big 12, but I don't think there was an offense even remotely this good in the SEC. I have to go with the six straight 61 point games.

January Bowls (Non-BCS ones)

Outback Bowl (Jan 1): South Carolina vs. Iowa - Quite frankly, I don't like either team. Iowas is in the Big Ten which stinks. But South Carolina's best win was over Mississippi. They only beat Wofford by 10. In their last two games, they lost by a combined score of 87-20. Granted one lost was by 50 to Florida, but the other was Clemson by 17. As much as I don't like Iowa, I have to go with them because they had no loss by more than 5. They won five of their last six including Penn State's only loss. Their last game was a 55-0 win over Minnesota so they're on a hot streak. Plus, that win was the game where some married chick got a good rogering in a bathroom stall.

Capital One Bowl (Jan 1): Georgia vs. Michigan State - Georgia's defense was shockingly bad. Still they only had three losses and none were bad. Michigan State only had three losses, but two were by at least 31 points. They have no impressive win at all. And they're in that suck ass Big Ten so I'm taking Georgia.

Gator Bowl (Jan 1): Clemson vs. Nebraska - I have no idea about this one. There's nothing to really like about either one. Both had to win late games to get to the bowl game. None have a win of note. Probably going to be one of those games where the team happiest to be there wins. Clemson got back on track after firing their coach, so I'll take them.

Cotton Bowl (Jan 2): Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss - A one loss Big 12 school against a four loss SEC team. Hmmmm. I guess Ole Miss could win, but I doubt it. Sure they beat Florida this year, but they also lost to Wake Forest, South Carolina and Vanderbilt. Plus, Houston Nutt had a 2-5 bowl record at Arkansas. It's not like I expect him to suddenly rise up here. Texas Tech only loss came to Oklahoma, and they've won 5 of their last 6 bowl games. Besides, they're just friggin' better.

Liberty Bowl (Jan 2): East Carolina vs. Kentucky - Damn. I was hoping UK fans would get to freeze like I used to at the Liberty Bowl, but the temperature is supposed to get to 50 although that will probably be before game time. Still, in the 40s is better than 20 degrees and freezing rain. As for the game, East Carolina beat Virginia Tech and West Virginia and finished winning 6 of their last 7. UK didn't beat a single team to finish with a winning record. They still won't.

International Bowl (Jan 3): Connecticut vs. Buffalo - I'm sure everyone had this one marked on their calendars. Got to give Buffalo credit. I didn't think they'd beat Ball State. But they did. Still, Connecticut has a good defense and a strong rushing game which should be enough.

GMAC Bowl (Jan 6): Ball State vs. Tulsa -Went to this bowl game twice. Mobile is a pretty nice city. The bartender at Hooters was two days from having labor induced. That was weird. Ball State's coach took another job and won't coach in the bowl game. At this point, I don't know who will be. Therefore, I'm picking Tulsa.

Bowl Picks Through New Year's Eve

Independence Bowl (Dec 28): No. Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech -I liked this bowl so much better when Weedeater sponsored it because people called it the Weedwhacker Bowl. It's really odd to see this matchup because recently this game paired SEC versus Big 12 every year. Granted, it was the bottom of the barrel teams from those conferences, but this year, they couldn't fill it so the bowl gets a 6-6 MAC team facing a 7-5 WAC team. I'm picking No. Illinois based on fewer bad losses.

Papajohns.com Bowl (Dec 29): NC State vs. Rutgers - If I was basing Rutgers hot streak on the destruction of Louisville to end the season, I wouldn't pick them. But their hot streak did include some good teams and some serious beatdowns so I will pick them.

Speaking of Louisville, I need my favorite reminder of better times.


Alamo Bowl (Dec 29): Missouri vs. Northwestern - I think the Big 12 was a lot better than the Big Ten. Northwestern has a better defense, but I don't think their offense can keep up with the Missouri offense. Defense may win championships, but winning a midlevel bowl isn't a championship (nor do I necessarily ascribe to that notion) so take Missouri and their offense.

Humanitarian Bowl (Dec 30): Maryland vs. Nevada - Ah, the bowl game on the blue turf. How did a bowl game in Boise, Idaho ever get locked in with the ACC? I'm sure Maryland fans will be scarfing up tickets to go see this game. Possibly even 250 of them. The Terps were wildly inconsistent all season. I can't see traveling to Boise to suffer frostbite as a reward for a winning record is going to make them suddenly change that. Take Nevada.

Texas Bowl (Dec 30): Western Michigan vs. Rice - These teams score a lot. Both teams are 9-3. Rice is a definite home team, but I think Western Michigan has a better defense so they should get more stops.

Holiday Bowl (Dec 30): Oklahoma State vs. Oregon - Oregon lost to Boise State, USC and Cal (combined 5 regular season losses; four by Cal). Oklahoma State lost to Texas, Texas Tech and Oklahoma (1 regular season loss each). Five is higher than three so take Oklahoma State.

Armed Forces Bowl (Dec 31): Houston vs. Air Force - Air Force already beat Houston once and they didn't seem to handle the option at all well. I don't think they've learned enough yet. Take Air Force again.

Sun Bowl (Dec 31): Pitt vs. Oregon St. - Oregon State was one loss from winning the PAC-10. Pitt was one loss from winning the Big East. The PAC-10 is probably better. But Oregon State can't stop the run. Pitt can run. Take Pitt.

Music City Bowl (Dec 31): Boston College vs. Vanderbilt - BC doesn't lose bowl games. Vandy usually doesn't go. BC finished first in their division. Vandy finished fourth in their's. BC beat several other ACC teams. Vandy lost to the only two they faced. Since one of those was 4-8 Duke, go with BC.

Insight Bowl (Dec 31): Kansas vs. Minnesota - Kansas finished the season beating Missouri. Minnesota finished by losing to Iowa 55-0 in a game that was only notable because of the couple arrested for having bathroom sex (see Dec 13 blog posting). No way I'd trust Minnesota right now.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl (Dec 31): LSU vs. Georgia Tech - Picking one ACC win over the SEC in a bowl game should be enough, but LSU looked like crap down the stretch. LSU is another team I have no trust in.

I should be thankful to Steve Kragthorpe. With an uncertain economic future, it's really nice that he's saving me money by not getting Louisville to a bowl game so I waste my money traveling to places like Miami to watch them play. So, I found the following video that says how much he is appreciated in the Ville. They really need to work on the audio, but I think the case is well made.

Christmas Movies & Other Things

The Chicago Tribune decided to compile a list of the 25 best Christmas movies ever. After reading it, their decision to declare bankruptcy makes a lot more sense. To begin with, the greatest Christmas movie ever, Die Hard, wasn't even included. The second best one, A Christmas Story, just made the cut at 25. What a load of crap. The stop motion Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer was near the bottom at #20. That movie had one of the funniest trivia points. It was narrated by folk singer Burl Ives whose last acting job was as the sheriff in softcore smut movie Two Moon Junction. Which a little smut could have improved Rudolph some. However, the worst decision was to declare Santa Claus: The Movie as the #1 film. Dudley Moore as a lazy elf. Whoooo. Maybe if they made him drunk the entire movie or included a naked Bo Derek in it, then it might have deserved a high billing.

The John McCain campaign was selling some electronics crap that they didn't need anymore (and based on their competency, may have never used). Included was a Blackberry that was still loaded with sensitive campaign info and sold to a reporter. Gee, with these type of stories out there, I don't know why I once said they were running a terrible campaign.

I think this could possibly be the greatest meal ever.

How did I miss this story? Nasty skank singer Amy Winehouse is getting a divorce from fellow junkie and husband who is now dating a German model. I don't know how this happened. How could he pick a model over a woman whose mere appearance makes me want to vomit?

And down in Texas, a bus driver is being accused of threatening some sixth graders with a knife over some cookie crumbs on a seat. Now, I don't have a real big problem with threatening schoolkids. I do it all the time. Surely, however, he could have taken out some sixth graders without a knife.

The title of the link had so much promise. A story about bikini clad teenagers taking pictures of themselves in the big industrial sinks at a KFC. I assumed the pictures would be included. They were. I wasn't impressed. And for the record, I'm not that concerned about the sanitary aspect of this. Those sinks are probably full of industrial cleaner. It's not like they're doing naked splits on the food preparation area.

Now if the two girls in this story were in trouble for taking pictures of themselves in bikinis in inappropriate places, that would have been so much better. Instead, the more attractive girls are engaging in some messed up stuff at an old folks home. Looking at what one admitted to (humping a resident, handjob on old people, fingerbanging one's butt), that girl has some serious kink going on inside her.

Maybe she needs to go to Norway where an old guy was caught yanking his crank while watching some 13 year olds in a pool. I really should look up what constitutes sexual harrassment in Norway because that's what he's charged with and I find it hard to believe that's on par with trying to ask out a subordinate co-worker. Now he did have a note from his doctor saying he had some issues down there. Maybe he should have claimed watching 13 year olds was an old home remedy for that problem. It is in Europe so he might get the socialized medical bureaucracy to send him 13 year olds.

It's not like he can go to Playboy for any consistency. Some website came up with a list of their favorite Playboy covers. It includes one with Barbra Streisand. Even in her prime, I wouldn't have bought a Playboy with Beakwoman on the cover on the off chance that she might actually be naked on the inside.

This is what is wrong with journalism today. The articles leave out pertinent information. In this case, China has arrested a woman who posted her homemade porno online which became very popular and must have been leading to the demise of Chinese morality. Big whoop. I just can't believe they didn't mention where you can download it so I can find out if it was worth all the fuss.

Painting a nude portrait of Sarah Palin doesn't seem that odd. Using your own daughter to model for the body seems a little creepy to me.

And finally, why can't American movie makers come up with plots like the Japanese for their sports movies? One movie in the works takes the old stereotype of an underachieving high school team that gets a female coach to lead them to victory. With a twist. This teacher takes over a volleyball team and promises to "let the puppies breath" if the team wins some tournament or something. I wish Brett had thought about finding a hot chick to flash us as motivation when we played in the bar league. It had to be better motivation than his homemade shirts.

Bowl Picks - Week 1

I'll definitely make my BCS bowl picks later. But since I'm behind, I'll break the rest into increments. This week's picks will be for the first week of bowl games (Dec 20-27). Winners in italics.

EagleBank Bowl (Dec 20): Wake Forest vs. Navy - This is actually a game I'd like to see. It's a rematch of a game Navy won earlier this year at Wake. Which makes it difficult to pick. Navy does not get blown out of bowls for the simple reason that they run the option which is a bitch for every other team to prepare for. However, I think having played earlier negates that advantage a bit. Not a bunch, but enough to reverse that outcome and give Wake the win.

New Mexico Bowl (Dec 20): Colorado St. vs. Fresno St. - Normally I would take Fresno St. under the category "when in doubt, take Pat Hill and Fresno St", but they lost their last regular season game 61-10. But that was to Boise State so take Pat Hill and Fresno St.

magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl (Dec 20): South Florida vs. Memphis - I can't believe a bowl is being sponsored by magicJack which is some internet phone service that has really bad commercials that I think might be a scam. Sadly, both these teams were so bad that they lost to Louisville. However, I would take South Florida over Memphis anywhere but definitely in a de facto home game.

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl (Dec 20): BYU vs. Arizona - BYU seems to play in this bowl quite a bit. The past three years in fact. Why does the team with the heavily Mormon fan base keep going to Vegas? As for the game itself, I think Arizona is an underrated team. However, they don't beat good teams. They just stay close. BYU is a good team so Arizona will just stay close.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (Dec 21): Troy vs. Southern Miss - I liked Troy after they had LSU on the ropes, but they still lost. And Southern Miss is a hot team right now with four straight beatdowns of pretty good teams. Well, except SMU. However, I'm taking Troy.

San Diego Credit Union Poinsetta Bowl (Dec 23): Boise State vs. TCU - This will be a good game. Boise will win because they deserved to be in a BCS game as much as Utah.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl (Dec 24): Hawaii vs. Notre Dame - Hawaii is tough to beat at home for good teams in recent years. Notre Dame sucks.

Motor City Bowl (Dec 26): Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan - I love FAU coach Howard Schnellenberger, but they're playing in Detroit the day after Christmas against a bunch of guys who willingly agree to live in Michigan. I'm leaning towards Central Michigan.

Meineke Car Care Bowl (Dec 27): West Virginia vs. North Carolina - I think WVU's new coach isn't very good. Except in bowl games. Take the Brokeback Mountaineers.

Champs Sports Bowl (Dec 27): Wisconsin vs. Florida State - I don't like either team. I don't like either conference. I dislike Wisconsin more.

Emerald Bowl (Dec 27): Miami of Florida vs. California - Another game where I don't like either team. Cal is coming in with a couple of wins. Miami with a couple of losses. Miami has to travel cross country for this. Take Cal.

Finally, more new stories

Catch up time again. As much as I hate the end of the football season, it means I have more time to keep up with this since I won't be doing the semi-porn fantasy football newsletter. Speaking of football, I mentioned in a previous posting about a couple getting busted at a Buffalo Bills' game for having sex in the women's crapper. Well, two people had an even more comical story at the Minnesota/Iowa game last month. A man and woman were arrested for having sex in the handicapped stall. A few things make this story so much better. First, they were released into the custody of his girlfriend and her husband. I'm sure that made for a pleasant Thanksgiving - "I'd like to give thanks that my wife only banged one guy in a nasty bathroom." Second, pictures of the two got out. Along with the police report so that I can find out what I really wanted to know. What's the best position to have sex in a heavily trafficked men's room. According to them, it's doggy style. Which makes sense if you think about it. And how rude were those cops not to let them finish? Unless there was someone in a wheelchair who needed that stall. And third, the woman wouldn't stop talking about it. She says she was so drunk that she can't remember what happened. Then she decides to play victim by claiming that she must have been roofied because even though she was getting sloshed before the game, "everybody thinks something must have been put in my drink."

For fun, let's take a look at her statements. Everybody would include me so the statement about having her drink spiked is false. I don't think that for a second. To begin, her husband was the only person from the party at the game with her, and why would he do it? Doesn't make sense for anyone else to do it because they can't take advantage and play hide the salami. Also, her argument that she goes to church every Sunday don't mean anything to me. She should go. She probably has a lot to confess. Face it. She got sloshed and handed it out to the first guy who asked. I like how she says her husband blames himself for it for not going with her. Until I hear him say it, I'm not really going to believe it. Even then I'll probably only believe he's whipped. Why would he go? I've wandered into the women's room at a lot of places. They don't want men in there and will call security on you. I think he's figuring out he's married to a slut. Having sex with someone you've just met in a stadium concourse bathroom stall is not something "that just happens". And booze can only take part of the blame. It did let her inner sluttiness out, but I don't blame my bad behavior on booze (because it happens too often when I'm sober). Alcohol only loosens your inhibitions about saying or doing something you really want to say or do. If I was her husband, I'd seriously keep an eye on her and start asking how many nights does she drink so much that she can't remember what happened.

Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich has been arrested for trying to sell Barak Obama's vacant Senate seat (among other things). What? A Democratic politician from Chicago is corrupt? Who knew? I love the part how a lot of people are trying to spin that he's insane. Almost like they're trying to make people not connect him to another politcian from the Chicago Democratic political machine. Wonder who that could be? The idea that he's insane comes from the fact that he knew the feds were looking at him for other stuff and still talked about it over the phone which could be (and was) tapped. Being stupid is not the same as insane. And he figured he could get away with it because in Chicago, using your position for personal gain is almost expected. The real fun news is Blago is not resigning yet. And the Illinois legislature is making noise about impeaching him, but hasn't. Now the state Attorney General is asking the court system to declare him disabled and put out to pasture that way. Don't think that is exactly what the law is for. There's some quite good reasons for taking that tack. Well, not good. More like political. The most obvious is that she's from the same party and as corrupt as they all are, she doesn't want Blago naming names as payback for legislators voting for his impeachment especially since her dad is one of them proving Illinois politics may be more incestuous than Harlan County. Plus, her dad may be giving her a chance to make a name for herself. Also, by doing this, people may not ask why the feds were onto this why a heavily connected politician from the state had no idea this was happening.

The best part of the whole Blago thing isn't Obama taking a hit even if he's parsing words about how much contact he had with Blago about the job. Someone on his staff knew about it, and maybe they weren't buying, but it doesn't look like anyone was dropping a dime on Blago either. I'm fully aware that connection will be ignored. However, some crap could just hit Jesse Jackson whose son has been identified as the candidate favored by one bidder.

Blago is a case of government not working correctly. The next story is about government working stupidly. Which means it's working as designed which means inexplicibly and inefficiently. A woman's home was threatened with a lien by a Massachusetts city because she owes 1 cent on some utility bill. I'd write them a check which their bank won't cash because it costs more to process than 1 cent. Of course, it costs more to mail the bill than 1 cent. Yet, the brilliant City Collector defended this by saying they couldn't have staff members look through the computer generated letters for such ridiculously low amounts and that the bill "must be paid". What a genius. As I just pointed out, it'll cost more to process than they'll collect. Bitch should be fired if she's that stupid. Here's a thought. Set your computers to send letters only to people who owe amounts higher than the price of a stamp. Also set the computer to automatically write off any balance less than that. Use some common sense. It's a friggin' penny.

Granted, that town is just wasting a pittance to collect an even smaller pittance. San Francisco is willing to spend up to $50 million on a look-good-but-ultimately-pointless project for the Golden Gate Bridge. Since the city doesn't like the fact that people like to commit suicide by jumping from the bridge, they want to spend those millions to put in nets. I'm not for suicide and I'm sorry that one guy's daughter killed herself, but saying she would have lived if they had these nets is ludicrous. I actually saw this report on a TV news report first and one expert said having the bridge as a known suicide spot was actually good because they had a better chance to catch people attempting it and get them treatment. If people can't jump from the bridge, they'll still try to kill themselves, but just somewhere else. I have another issue. The nets are only 20 feet under the bridge which isn't much when you are jumping from about 245 feet. People who hit the nets will probably just jump from them. And since people who survive the jump usually still die from hypothermia or drowning, that 20 feet doesn't mean anything.

But enough about politics and suicide. Let's talk about Christmas. A Walmart employee died after being trampled by Black Friday shoppers. I'm sure Phil and some other anti-Walmart people believe he got what he deserved for working for such an evil company, but I blame the retarded people. I would be embarrasssed to say I was so excited to be at a Walmart sale taht I helped kill someone. Killing should be reserved for good reasons. Like hookers who laugh at........well, nevermind. Exactly what could Walmart be selling that makes you want to bum rush the store? I slept in on Black Friday because I hate shopping. I hate people. Well, most people and especially if they are in crowds. I also hate getting up early. So, Black Friday is a good day to wait for the afternoon college football games. Those from Toys may remember I always closed on Black Friday. If I showed up at all.

However, groups of people I like to think of as asses come out at Christmas to whine about the stupidest things. Some limpdicks wrote a letter asking toy companies not to market toys to their kids. The reason is kids see toys and want them. Apparently there parents are too pussy to say no. My parents told me "no" all the friggin time. Get a backbone. Here's a present you can give your kids. Learning to handle disappointment. Give them a Rolling Stones' album so they learn that You Can't Always Get What You Want. Not only will it give them a life lesson, but they'll actually learn what real rock music is compared to most of the crap on the radio today. Besides, people at toy companies have to make a living too. How about some basic economics for you? If the toy companies don't sell toys, they lose money and get rid of people. Yeah, I'm sure someone who works for one will definitely cut their own throat because some wusses can't fight the temptation to buy their children's love with expensive toys.

In another present buying story, this one from Englad lets us know that you shouldn't buy the Scrabble game for the Nintendo DS system because the computer will use dirty words. Well, you can buy it if you're smart enough to set it to junior level which doesn't allow dirty words. That eliminates stupid people like the woman who is bitching in the article. However, looking at the picture included with the article, I think there is a bigger issue. Why did she buy her son a pink DS system?

But that's England for you. This is also the place where a court forced the government to pay a lot of money to a bunch of junkies as compensation because they weren't given heroin in prison. Apparently people who use illegal drugs have a human right of being given said drugs. Am I the only one who thinks this is insane? I have two solutions for this. One is to fire (or impeach since I'm not up on British courts) the judges. Another is to give them overdose level of drugs. Junkie dead saves the taxpayer money. Win-win as far as I can tell.

Axl Rose is mad at Dr. Pepper for doing a promotion tied to his album. Basically, they offered a free Dr. Pepper if Guns 'N Roses actually released Chinese Democracy this year. They did. Rose thinks he's owed an apology. I can't figure out why. If anyone should apologize, it should be Rose. I've heard a song off the album and it sucks. He destroyed a great band so he could take years to put out overwrought crap like that.

Speaking of sucking, Rosie O'Donnell tried to revive variety shows. She failed. Miserably. Let's see. Obsolete genre. Bitter, unattractive host who wasn't even funny when she did standup. With an ax to grind. How could that fail?

I need a shower after mentioning Rosie O'Donnell, but lets move to some sex stories. Some San Antonio cops are in trouble because someone took pictures of some slutty tramps cavorting around some bicycle cops. One of them has an attorney who says drunk women taking pictures around them happen. Well, I looked at the slideshow and the cops seem more than innocent bystanders. However, three things really stick out. One, why did they edit out faces? It's on a public street. Expectations of privacy are gone. Two, why did they edit out nudity? This is news, people. We need everything to make judgments on the merits of any punishments. Three, a couple of those women (even with edited faces) don't look good enough to risk your job over.

I'm not sure who Nicola Mclean is. I don't really care. All I know is she has a big rack and wants to talk about them and more importantly, show them. She gave some good information too. Apparently, if you have breast implants, they stay cold. As a gallant gentleman, I offer my services to rub them until they are warm again. I think the most disturbing aspect of the story is that she offered Martina Navritilova the opportunity to feel them and was turned down. What kind of lesbian is that? Or it might be the fact that this article was coded by The Sun as a woman's health article.

Catching Up On Risque Stories

As mentioned in the last posting, I haven't had time to update this so I have a long list of news stories that I haven't had a chance to get to. I'll start with the dirty ones.

I liked the result of this story because it establishes the legal precedent that staring at a woman's knockers doesn't constitute sexual harrassment. Not that I have to worry about such things as I would never engage in such unprofessional behavior. Unless she was stacked. Actually, I don't believe either of them. I don't believe the man stared because he had a medical condition that led to a wandering eye. However, I also don't believe her when she said it was so bad that she had to go change clothes during the day. If you knew he was going to stare and were that uncomfortable about it, don't wear something that lets you boobage hang out.

Now here's another story involving a lawsuit. A Canadian stripper is suing for age discrimination because she was let go when the club she was working at decided to go younger. Sorry. When it comes to a profession where appearance is so important, looking old can be a hindrance. So, it's not really age discrimination. It's looking aged. Sure, when a woman is rubbing her butt up against your crotch, you may not be looking for crow's feet around her eyes, but if you do see it, you may not go back. Unless that's what you're into.

With their scat porn, you would think Germany would have most of the European sexual dysfunction. Nope. France has prude nudists. I usually stay clear of nudist stories because most nudists are people I would prefer to see in clothes, but sometimes they are funny. A nudist hangout has had a rash of fires at swinger clubs, and it's being blamed on nudists who are offended by the swingers' behavior. I guess it's a difference of opinion on whether it's better to dangle it or pass it around.

At a Bills game a few weeks ago, a couple got busted for having sex in the women's restroom. I like how they termed it "inappropriate". My defense would be that there's been a lot of inappropriate behavior on the field by Buffalo the past few years. Actually, I've been to a lot of football games and that's not near as inappropriate as some behavior I've been exposed to. Someone took a massive dump at one of the Commonwealth Stadium bathrooms while I was there for a game, and the ventilation was bad. I thought I was going to die. In fact, when I ran into Joker Phillips at McCarthy's on St. Patrick's Day, I lodged a complaint with him about that. Tried to pass it off as not being his responsibility. Loser.

Disgraced former governor of New York, Dave ........I mean Eliot Spitzer, won't be charged for being a "john" to a overpriced whore. I like how the excuse not to charge him is that he didn't use public or campaign funds. Sorry, the Mann Act makes it illegal to take women across state lines for whoring. The federal government has a long history of making examples of high profile criminals to deter others from engaging in that behavior. Why does Spitzer get a pass?

Some church dude in England had to go to the hospital with a potato stuck in his ass. Great excuse. Naked curtain hanging followed by falling on a potato. Please. You need a better excuse than that. Just claim you lost a bar bet. Or you were hiding it because you thought the Irish were coming to steal your potatoes.

Also in England, a town councillor is resigning because she gets no respect from her fellow councillors due to the fact that she's also a stripper. Why is always the strippers that we must attack? Actually, looking at her picture, I'm sure she could quit. I don't think she's making that much money from it.

ARod's ex is pissed that he's dumping the children in order to spend Thanksgiving with Madonna. I'm not going to question his parenting because his kids are better off without him with that kind of judgment, but come on. Madonna has become gross. Screwing the turkey would probably be more fun.

And let's end with some school related stories. Beginning with a bus driver who offered some cheerleaders $40 to lift their shirts. How dumb was he? Don't proposition them en masse. Ask around and find out which ones are going to be willing to do it. Don't ask them in front of their more prudish friends. And make sure they're 18 so you don't have legal hassles. There are certain methods to being a pervert.

See, this guy is in trouble because he latched onto a 17 year old. He's a teacher who was messing around with a runaway who happened to be found in his closet. He told the police he didn't know where she was. He could be telling the truth. I don't know how those teenage girls ended up in my closet. Or who tied them up.

And finally, a former porn actress was found to be working as a teacher's aide at an elementary school. Some people think she should be fired because they want role models as employees, but since it wasn't illegal, the school board is worried about a lawsuit. Since it's an elementary school, I doubt she's going to try to enlist the students into the business. Plus, if elementary students know what she did previously, you got bigger issues. Now, what I found really funny about the story is that she pointed out that "our president-elect has admitted to doing crack". Even if she wasn't making a valid point, it would still be funny because of the way the reporter handled it. She felt it was important to point out that Barak Obama's admission was for cocaine, not specifically crack. Because admitting to using blow is no big deal, but that crack stuff would be a real problem.

Pittsburgh Trip

As mentioned before, I recently took a trip to Pittsburgh to watch Louisville play Pitt and the Steelers against the Colts. All the traveling has made it tough for me to keep up with the blog. Even though both teams lost, only one of them pissed me off. At least the Steelers played a good game. Louisville didn't do squat. Kind of reminds of the entire Louisville season. Still, the trip was fun. Pittsburgh is an interesting city, especially if you like hills and traffic problems. You know you have hills when your trolley runs up and down. Half the buildings are built on hillsides and seem to be about to fall off. I realize that a city its age with so many hills would have traffic problems, but I've never seen a place like this. If they had traffic engineers, those guys were on crack. Intersections were rarely perpendicular. They'd go off in odd directions. Streets would be one way until they became one way going the other way. Sometimes it'd be one way with a side lane going the other way, but only for buses. Or you'd be on a four lane interstate that had four exits at one time, but since another interstate is feeding into it, you have everyone in a Chinese fire drill trying to get into the proper lane. Even better were three way intersections that I ran into on side streets. The main road had the two stops signs. Alleys turning onto that road didn't. So, you have to stop if you're driving straight, but people making hard right turns got to go whenever they wanted. Interesting concept.

Now, in one way, the traffic patterns were fine. I got out of the stadium really easy for both games. Even with a full house for the Steelers, I was on the highway out of town 10 minutes after getting to my car. I did ask the guy next to me if it'd be a problem. He said I'd be fine since I was on the other side of the river. He said Steelers were good about knowing where to go after the game. The only problem being they're all drunk. That was the good part about where the stadium was. It was right on the river so you park on the other side and walk across a foot bridge to it. Except the bridge moved while people were on it. A lot. Now, there was a problem with the stadium being right on the river. It didn't matter how cold it was. The wind off the river made it colder. The air temperature wasn't that cold at either game. However, when the wind starts cutting through you, it becomes a bit uncomfortable. When you're losing, it really sucks.

The Louisville game was notable for one reason. Not that they quit when faced with a little adversity. I've seen that quite a bit this season. I was in one of the end zone sections and wanted to get a picture of UL's offense in scoring position. I had to settle for the one at the right because they only got into scoring position once. At the other end of the field. No, what got me was the most unnerving thing I've ever seen at a college football game. Keep in mind I have been to a game in Morgantown WV, but what Pitt fans did defied all logic and reason. Between the third and fourth quarter, their entire fanbase stood up and sang along to Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline". They even had the words on the jumbotron. I'm still not sure why they began doing it this year. Diamond isn't from Pittsburgh. The song has nothing to do with Pittsburgh or football. Still, they're going to their first bowl game in years. Maybe they're onto something. Maybe "Kentucky Woman" can be sung at UL games. Sure, some hardcore UK fans might object, but they can use "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" as long as they think it's about their sister.

The Steeler game was a lot better. They did lose in the end because their quarterback didn't want to protect the ball. But the atmosphere was much better. Granted, the fact that I was rooting for the home team in this one certainly made a difference. The Louisville section wasn't too happy for most of that game. Scoring seven points will do that. Steelers' fans were happy most of their game. Probably has to do with leading most of it. And the fact that most were drunk. The fans were pumped up though especially when the defense was on the field. They were loud and the towels were waving. Yet, they had an odd musical tradition too. They had a montage of defensive hits with the Styx song "Renegade" playing behind it. They went apeshit for it. Now, that's not a bad song. It's the only good Styx song (and no I did not forget "Mr Roboto) which means it came from Tommy Shaw. Still, just seems something wrong with using Styx to pump up the crowd.

But it wasn't all a pleasure trip. I also saw some educational sights. Like the Hooters in Huntington. Just kidding. No way do I stop in West Virginia. But I did go visit Fort Pitt which was right next to the stadium and was open on Sunday so I could tour it before the Steelers game. Fort Pitt was a military installation established by the French (then called Fort Duquesne) to protect the fur trade until the British captured it from the dirty Frenchman and renamed it. It had a nice demonstration on the fur trade and then I got to explain to a Belgian woman what all the people dressed in black and gold were there for. On the way back, I also stopped at Fort Necessity which was built byGeorge Washington while serving in the British army on an expedition that helped start the French and Indian War after his men shot a bunch of dirty Frenchmen. The fort has been rebuilt which was obviously needed after you look at it. My boy scout troop could have built something like this so it wasn't going to last over 250 years. It was rebuilt in a field that you had to walk from the visitor's center through a forest to get to. I was about a half mile from my car taking a picture from the far side of it when I realized I was wearing a light pullover, no hat or gloves and it was snowing. You begin to realize why most historical sightseeing is done in the summer.

Veterans' Day

I used this for Memorial Day where it does fit better, but as the son, grandson, brother and nephew of veterans, I think it's also important to remember the service men and women who made it back. Their sacrifice should not be forgotten either. Plus, I really like it so I'm using it again.