But mostly sex.
This may come as a shock to some, but I will defend Roger Clemens to a point. The latest story is that he began boning mildly successful country singer Mindy McCready when she was 15. Not saying that I don't believe it. In fact, I think Clemens is an egomanical dirtbag. For God's sakes, all his kids' names begin with "K" because that's the sign for a strikeout. I still believe he was a steroid cheat. I still believe he's a dick. So, it would not surprise me at all to find out that he's a pedophile. Of course, her parents were apparently letting her sing in a bar at age 15. What were they thinking? However, I will defend him on a legal point. Whether or not he's screwing teenagers is irrelevant to whether he was defamed by someone accusing him of steroid use. He was boinking them on the sly so his public reputation was intact (although I still think it's tough to defame a dick which is why I'll probably never be able to sue to protect my reputation).
What really frosts me is McCready. She's going to milk this story for publicity as she tries to restart a stagnant career. How convenient that this story pops up as she's doing a reality show around her new album, and while she doesn't admit to it, she makes a point of not denying it. Why admit to it when you can convince people to watch your crappy reality show in the hopes you admit to it then? It's not like she was anything more than a pretty face with a gimmicky song when she was a success. It also means she has fewer morals than a whore. A whore keeps her mouth shut. Well, she doesn't talk about it. Unless Clemens did something bad to her (like promise marriage or try to go backdoor while she's passed out drunk), she shouldn't be using the relationship for profit.
While Eliot Spitzer's hooker is filing a lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild, at least she isn't alleging defamation. When your reputation is how valuable your cootch is, it's tough to think you've been defamed. However, I think her suit is crap since she's arguing she couldn't be held to the contract because she was 17 (disputed) and drunk when she agreed to it. Well, if she's going to a drunken spring break week away from her parents, she's pretty much emancipated herself. If she spends a week on the Girls Gone Wild bus, she was sober at some point and well aware what was going on.
Now, it could be worse for Clemens. Some guy in New Mexico got stabbed by his girlfriend because she thought he was cheating. Her evidence? She thought he was the guy in the porno movie they were watching. Now, the story doesn't really address it, so I must assume that he wasn't really the guy in the porno. Nor is it justifiable to try to stab him if he was. I have to be honest. In most cases, I wouldn't spread around that I had to running screaming from a woman with a knife, but in this case, I would. After all, I would be able to say that I was mistaken for a porn star.
Well, we've done sex, so it's on to drugs. Colorado University had their little tradition of 10,000 people all smoking pot at the same time on April 20 because of that 4/20 slang that originated a long time ago for when high school students lit up. I'm assuming all these people got together to do the same thing at the same time to show how non-conformist they are. For the most part, I'm indifferent to pot smokers, but there was one line that stuck out to me. Some freshman chick made the statement that she went to that school for the "weed atmosphere". Hate to tell you, stupid, but that's about the dumbest reason to choose a school I've ever heard. I'll let her in on a little secret. People smoke pot at just about every college out there. I would make a crack about how proud her parents must be, but they're probably as stupid as she is. I hope they don't spend too much time thinking about the tuition money they're throwing down the crapper as their daughter majors in drug use.
And finally rock 'n roll. I've touched on celebrity hypocrisy when it comes to environmental issues before. But now we find out how hypocritical Sting is as it's pointed out how much he and his wife pollute. I personally wouldn't care what their "carbon footprint" was if they didn't go around pontificating about how eco-friendly they are. Besides, I always heard Sting was an absolute dick, and apparently his wife is too. The line I liked best was that she made her chef go 100 miles to make pasta. Hell, I can make pasta. If you can boil water, you can make pasta.
Here's a sex and rock n' roll story. Someone is peddling a Jimi Hendrix sex tape. I'll file that under "Not Gonna Watch".
Hey, here are drugs and rock n' roll. Scott Weiland ws arrested for DUI and has to go to alcohol counseling. I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. I can't believe Weiland was only drinking.
This is how a celebrity should be busted. The black guy from CSI had heroin, cocaine and ecstacy when he was arrested.
Can't really call this a sex and rock n' roll story. Miley Cyrus is a bubble gum pop singer. And there really wasn't sex involved. It's become a big scandal that a magazine pic taken of her had a bare back with a sheet wrapped around her front. Probably not the smartest thing she's done due to her target audience, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. It wasn't blatantly sexual, and the argument that it would make people think she was naked was laughable. Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but I assume she's been naked before and it's not likely too many people saw anything there either. However, there was one aspect of the story that did offend me. Apparently on her weblog, Rosie O'Donnell gave her opinion. The last thing I needed to see was Rosie's face crammed up against a webcam telling me how beautiful the picture looked. Give me a break. I just ate.
It doesn't matter what you do, someone is going to find a way to make it dirty.
Finally, an excuse for teenage guys who get caught spanking the monkey by their mother. Now, they are just trying to fend off prostate cancer. Adults don't need an excuse. They already know they're degenerates. Interesting study. It says daily "relief" flushes carcinogens. I'm not too sure of it. After all, it also says daily sex doesn't work because it can lead to an increased chance of STDs. How about if it's the same woman every day? And it's not a hooker? Kind of a ripoff for husbands who could use this response whenever wifey gets a headache - "Do you want me to get prostate cancer?".
Speaking of excuses, men can now get rid of that "I just got out of the tub where it shrank" excuse. Instead, they can use the "sorcerer used witchcraft to shrink my penis".
And finally a sad story. Strippers in Canada are complaining that they can't compete. Not with other strippers, but with the internet. I can't really figure this one out. They say "Why would a guy go to a club and pay to sit there if he could get it all for free on his computer at home?" How do you get a lap dance from a computer? Those edges dig in. Not that I've tried to get a lap dance from a computer. I'm just assuming. The other problem the Canadian stripper industry is experiencing is reduction of work permits for strippers from abroad. Now, that wouldn't have made much sense to me if I hadn't read a Canadian blog where the author credited the resurgence of Canadian strip clubs to foreign dancers who may have been more "giving". That link may not be safe for work.
4 years ago
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