Ah Mexico & Other Crap

Considering how many of my neighbors are originally from Mexico, I used to not really be concerned about migration from Mexico. Yeah, I don't like illegal immigration (more on that later), but the only reason I've been concerned about how many get in from Mexico is fairness. We can't take everyone so why should someone from Mexico get precedence because they can walk across a seemingly unmanned border? Is that fair to Africans, Asians or Eastern Europeans who also live in poverty and would like to move to America for economic opportunity? But I didn't worry too much. Hell, immigration from Mexico has to be better than other places. Say, Pakistan. But still, for the most part, I like Mexico. If Taco Bell hadn't bastardized Mexican cuisine, I wouldn't have the Volcano Taco. But then a couple of things happened. First was a bunch of dickhead high schoolers. You're attending an American high school paid for by American tax dollars and you want fellow students suspended for wearing American Flag shirts on a Mexican holiday? Some people have lost their friggin minds (and the fact that this is in California explains why it may be the first state to go bankrupt). Does anyone think I'd be kicked out of an Irish pub in Boston for wearing that shirt on St Patrick's Day? I now don't want immigrants coming there if their ability to assimilate is so stunted that they find it offensive to wear the flag of the country that feeds and protects them on a holiday for the hellhole their parents fled.

Then came Felipe Calderon who happens to be the leader of said hellhole. He stands up in front of Congress to condemn the new law of Arizona that seeks to deal with the fact that our southern border might have a few leaks. Maybe if I thought he had a point, I might shrug it off. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...........noted right winger Wolf Blitzer managed to get Calderon to admit that American immigration laws might be a little less strict than other countries of the western hemisphere. Like Mexico. Almost seems hypocritical for him to lecture us considering the abuses that occur to immigrants moving through Mexico. Did I say "almost"? I meant what an asshole he is. Let's face it. Calderon doesn't want immigration reform. He wants to keep it the way it is. The economic boon they were supposed to get from NAFTA never really materialized. Might have something to do with a country being so lawless that drug gangs actually attacked army bases. So of course he needs his countrymen streaming into America so they can send money back home. It's a major part of their GDP. They don't abuse Central American illegals in Mexico because they're taking away jobs there. They're afraid an illegal Honduran will take a job from an illegal Mexican in the states. If Calderon really gave two craps about his people, he'd want to do something about it. As it is now, illegal immigration means the people trying to sneak in are preyed upon by all types of criminals. Human traffickers (including forced prostitution), drug smugglers, illegal sweatshop owners, identity thieves and the like. But what's a few Mexicans left to die in the desert by a a coyote as long as others get through to send half their paycheck back home.

While Calderon was making an ass of himself, so were several Congressmen (who may or may not have been from the majority party but in fact, were) who stood and applauded. They may re-think that in the fall if they were on camera for it. Which begs the question whether it's a good law or not. Of course it it. Some people are so out of touch with reality that MSNBC actually ran a headline saying the law made it a crime to be an illegal immigrant. Okaaaaaaaaay. I'm sure they'll find more illegal things to make illegal. The fact is that Arizona has had to deal with a lot of problems because we do nothing to secure our border with Mexico. We have enough criminals here. Why import more? And this nonsense about Arizona lawmen running wild to arrest illegals is plain stupid. Cops have a lot to do. They aren't cruising around looking for illegals. Plus, the law is clear they have to have stopped the suspect for something else first, and only then check their immigration status if something is suspicious. Which means if an illegal is pulled over for reckless driving, speaks no English, and has no ID, the police may check with the feds. Is it fair that a traffic stop could lead to someone being deported? Hell yeah. He broke the law to get here. Sympathy for him is in short supply. What isn't fair is letting him go while someone who has gone through the regular immigration process has to wait to get here.

I've only owned three cars in my life. Ran them to death before trading in for a new one. Always GM. Although I've never bought a "new" car in my life. But I may not buy a GM in the future. A government owned car company makes me think inefficient, low quality and overpriced. Not a great selling point for the future. But then came the ad stating they had paid back the federal government in full for the bailout loans. Now I expect a certain level of dishonesty in advertising but not such a bald face lie. Anyone with any cognitive thought realized it would be impossible for GM to payback billions in loans when they haven't made a profit in years. And sure enough, it was a big ass lie. The repayment money was taken from other bailout money. Which shows it's definitely government run because it has the same mindset. After all, the Social Security Administration invests its funds in Treasury bonds. Which means any money from social security taxes not paid out to retirees was "invested" in an entity that doesn't produce a return on investment. Basically the surplus was sent to the general fund to be spent profligately. Really not much different than taking one set of bailout dollars to pay off another and bragging about it.

Here's a truly heart-warming story. College and high school students in Washington, DC have joined together to rally for a cause - Trojan condoms. They're crying because health officials are supplying (for free) the non-trendy Durex condoms. The complaints? Don't like getting it from nurses which reminds them of their aunt or grandmother. Wusses. Poor quality which apparently means the quality of the wrapper since the Durex are just as good at the job. Oh, and the schools are full of John Holmes' wannabes who think the Durex are too small so they want the Magnum, the greatest marketing ploy ever. Which means the DC government is stupid for buying the Magnum and giving it out because a condom is supposed to be tight. If it isn't, it has a better chance for a breakage. So, I think before the nurse passes out the Magnum condom, she should make the student drop his pants so she can check that he's better endowed. This whole story is a joke. Save money and buy the Durex. If they're too stupid to use proper protection because it's not in a shiny wrapper, let them die. Besides, they interviewed a 30 year old college student. Seriously, man, get off your parents' couch and buy your own if you want a higher priced rubber.

Now I know I'm a bit of a UN critic, but is there anyone besides Ted Turner who gives the United Nations credibility anymore? They've had Libya chair the Human Rights Commission with Sudan as a member. They've had Zimbabwe chair a committee on sustainable development (I guess to tell us what they've done wrong). So, I guess having Iran be on the UN's Women's Rights commission is par for the course. I guess when Iran executes another teenage rape victim, it won't make the agenda.

I've never been interested in soccer before, but I sometimes get interested in soccer stories. Well, soccer stories about big busted prostitutes who may have been 17 when they began their sordid profession. Normally I won't defend users of underage whores, but then I saw the pictures of her. I'm assuming those are recent pictures so I have to admit, I'd have never thought she was underage so I doubt they were hiring her because they wanted a call girl to pretend to be a young girl. And I must say one thing makes me happy. She's French and yet willing to begin gainful employment at 17. You can't get most of those lazy bastards to work at all.

But that isn't the creepiest sports sex story I've read recently. That goes to the guy who went undrafted in the NFL despite having mid-round ability. The reason? He banged his sister. But it was while they were in high school when people don't have much common sense. To be honest, I'm not sure why he's on the sex offender registry for this. As noted in the story, it was consensual or he would be coded differently. He was 16, she was 15. If they weren't related, this would not be a crime. I'm not sure that having consensual sex with someone a year younger than you really makes you a potential predator which is the whole point of a sex offender registry. Having consensual sex with someone a year younger than you who happens to be your sister does make it creepy, and the plot of a lot of adult movies (or so I've been told). But considering the NFL has guys who have dealt drugs, beat their wives and killed people, creepy doesn't seem like that big a deal.

And this story isn't sports story but it's a lot more disturbing than some guy banging his sister. A man turned a woman he dated into the cops for giving him a sexually transmitted disease. It became a police matter because she also gave it to his dog.

Great. Someone came up with a grand plan to regulate the banking industry. Has a whole bunch of goodies to make sure financial institutions won't fail. How lucky we are to have Congress, a group of people who have proven a lack of any understanding of economics time and again, to protect us from risk. Of course, economic progress is based on risk. Banks accept a certain level of risk when they loan money. If the risk works, they get their money back plus interest. If it doesn't, they lose the money. One of the biggest causes of the latest problems was Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were giving out loans to anyone regardless of risk (and wants to again) and ended up having to be completely taken over by the government. Guess who somehow isn't part of this bill? Oh, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Makes sense. Face it. There is so much government regulation of the financial industry already. Most of the problem is so much of it is gray area stuff. The rest is that government regulators suck at their job. While all this was going on, a whole bunch of SEC staffers were surfing porn while on the job. How great to be a government bureaucrat. One guy tried had 16,000 hit attempts on porn sites. In a month. He got a two week suspension. Bet no one borrowed his desk chair while he was on it.

Speaking of lacking economic knowledge, one of Obama's flunkies has declared that the Value Added Tax is a good idea for raising revenue. This is a tax that is added in increments every step of the manufacturing process. Oh, and it is in addition to the sales tax. I like that supporters say "the burden does not have to fall on the consumer alone." BS. Every step of the manufacturing process will charge extra for their part. Most places have a small margin per unit processed. They make their profit on the quantity. That means to keep their profit the same, they have to raise the per unit price to keep pace with a VAT. Think about it. It's friggin' common sense.

I knew there was something I liked about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Well, two things.

Catching Up

Been kind of busy so have quite a few stories saved up that I figure I need to get out. Let's start with the United Nations referring to the United States as "deadbeat" for being late on dues which our Exalted Ruler wants to take care of (too bad appropriations are done in Congress). My response probably would have been different. Would have begun with "F" and ended with "You". I might have pointed out that the U.S. doesn't owe the U.N. 22% of their budget if we don't want to pay it. It's a voluntary organization. So, we can volunteer to leave. Which isn't a bad idea. Let's see what our money is funding. Widespread corruption which doesn't seem to be much of a concern to the U.N. because they're holding up appointing a new boss for their investigation unit. The problem seems to be that competence is not valued as much as being a Ugandan woman. The U.N. also wants to spend $2 million on another racism conference. What's wrong with that? The conference on racism was so inherently racist that Obama didn't want to be involved. Oh, and if that's not enough, our money is funding sex tours for UN peacekeepers. I don't know why some members of Congress would be averse to throwing money at that organization.

Now, these are the stories you love. A Jewish restaurant mistakenly serves non-kosher hot dog and a riot almost breaks out as "a hundred enraged people" go after the cook who fights back with an electric knife. Actually, I watched the video and that hundred people seems exaggerated, but the cook did pull out the electric knife. He would have been better off with a butcher knife. Slashing blade and sharp point. Much more effective.

Here was a part of the AIG bonus foolishness that I missed. A bunch of state attorney generals are now "investigating" the AIG bonuses. By investigating, I think they mean "political grandstanding". Common sense tells me they don't have real standing since the money given to AIG was from the federal treasury. Assuming their excuse to get involved is really the reason, I must say I have a problem with a state AG thinking he has standing to investigate a company based on lost shareholder value. But 19 of them are just making hay. The 20th is a certified moron. He's the AG of Connecticut. Where a lot of the bonuses were paid. What's he want to happen? The bonuses be given back? Hey genius, if they keep the bonuses, your state gets to tax them for it. If they don't, you get nothing.

LeAnn Rimes is cheating on her husband. So sad. She was such a clean, wholesome girl. But I know where it went wrong. She did Coyote Ugly. Biggest dick tease of a movie ever. Previews made you think it was going to be a T&A fest. Nope. Cheesy girl-moves-to-big-city-to-follow-her-dreams-even-though-Bruce-Springsteen-didn't-need-to-drive-20-minutes-from-New-Jersey-to-make-it-in-the-music-business movie. When the previews show me women dancing on bars, I think full frontal female nudity is involved. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, here's a good one. A woman who is ordained in the Episcopal Church was defrocked for the minor transgression of converting to Islam. How intolerant of the church. Gee, how could that possibly affect her ministry? One person asked about it had this to say - "It's hard for me to understand how a Christian minister could have dual loyalties." Not me. She's an idiot and has no real beliefs. She'll probably be an Orthodox Jew or Scientologist next month.

Hmmm. The President flies in a pizza cook from St. Louis to serve a "casual lunch". That's the man of the people right there. I always have my pizza delivered by plane. I will now hold my breath waiting for the environmental psychos to complain about the carbon footprint generated by such an unnecessary trip when there are plenty of pizza places within walking distance (not to mention an entire cooking staff at the White House). Of course, this is the candidate who stated "We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times...and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK." Until he got to the White House where he cranked up the thermostat. I guess "we" means "people other than Barak Obama".

Speaking of rules that should only be followed by the little people, several Congressmen have been found to be taking a homestead credit for homes in Maryland. Which is a credit for home residence. Which would be fine except these Congressmen are from states other than Maryland. And based on a little technicality called the United States Constitution, their home residence should legally be in the state they represent. I do like how they contend that what they did was perfectly legal, and they were willing to pay whatever the county says they owe. Pardon me if I find them completely full of crap. They knew when they filed for it that they were claiming the house as their primary residence. If I was their constituents, I'd be asking how a man is supposed to represent me if he considers his home to be 2500 miles away and just rents an apartment for the few times he comes around.

A deadly spider may or may not have been found at a Whole Foods Store. I don't care. I will now avoid health food. Well, I won't start buying health food. But that's neither here nor there. The part that caught my attention was the statement that its bite will cause men to have an erection. Man, I must have been bit a lot when I was in high school.

I've never been that big a fan of video games, but I'm wondering if I've just been playing with the wrong people.

Man, what a relief this news story is. Here I was wasting all my time doing the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper. Now some professor has come up with an algorithm that will allow people to solve a puzzle in just quite a bit more time than normal. Truthfully, I find both sides to be rather stupid. The Sudoku lovers are in a tizzy because it'll spoil their game. Well, not really since you don't have to use it. Some people can still do math in their head (I know it's a stretch to believe). As for the guy who did it, doesn't he feel like he wasted a lot of time? He came up with a more inefficient way of solving a puzzle. He really should be more involved in government work.

Normally, I find stories about pornography to be interesting and insightful. Well, usually just amusing. A female pilot won a settlement because she kept finding pornography (actually sounds like naked pictures of women) in the cockpit of planes that she flew. Apparently, her pre-flight check included searching every nook and cranny for leftover pornography. She doesn't know how lucky she is. I was in high school in the pre-internet days. Does she not know how valuable "found" pornography was? Now, I would prefer my pilots be more professional than looking at dirty pictures while flying. However, I'm glad the bitch is out of the cockpit. She claimed that finding pornography made her go on meds and have to stop flying. Yeah, that's who I want flying my plane. Someone who is so mentally fragile that a picture of some chick fishhooking her crotch will give her the shakes. Wonder what would have happened if she'd been on Flight 1549. She probably would have tried a belly landing on top of an apartment complex. She probably put that crap there herself just so she could sue.

And much like finding someone I wouldn't want as a pilot, I've found someone I wouldn't want as a shrink. But I didn't need to see a picture of a 61 year old psychiatrist doing blow off her leg to know she would never handle my mental health (or lack of). The fact that she was Anna Nicole Smith's psychiatrist pretty much lets me know her competence level.

There are certain places in the world that you begin to think that they deserve whatever happens to them. Four Oakland police officers were killed by some scumbag criminal. How did citizens of this city respond? Marched in support of the scumbag. Want to know why this scumbag probably did it? Probably because he knew the cops were looking for him over a small matter of raping a 12 year old. Well done, morons of Oakland. Congrats on having the Raiders. Your sorry ass city deserves it.

I was driving down Versailles Road the other day and saw something I never thought I would see. A slightly banged up, gray Chevette. With an antique car tag. One of those that usually is only seen on classic cars. I guess it's technically an antique car. I think the criteria is that it has to be 20 years old and since GM stopped making that POS in 1986, it has to be that old. To be honest, I'm shocked it was still running.

I've already pointed out that I can't take Oakland seriously as a city. Nor can I take the state that it's in seriously either. California is actually thinking about banning black cars. It has something to do with global warming which is now called climate change because we are no longer warming and to continue to warn about warming that isn't happening might seem silly to rational people. Climate change can still be used because the earth's climate has changed drastically throughout history with no help at all from us. Want to know who the happiest people are about this latest nonsense from the land of wackjobs? Car dealers just across the border in other states.

Some British newspaper ran a piece about Rod Stewart and his wife who may have a name but I don't really care wanting to put their child in some private English school. Which is something else I don't care about. The only interest I had was when I saw the picture. Good lord, look at the nipples on that woman. And Stewart better watch out. They're at eye level and with those nipples jutting out like that, he could get his eye poked out. Whenever I see an unattractive singer with something like that, I curse this horrible singing voice I have.

Stupid Teenagers & Other Stories

One of the supposed benefits of Barak Obama's candidacy is that it gets young people excited about the political process and makes them want to vote. Well, I don't want them to vote. Young people are stupid. That's the last group I wanted deciding anything. Case in point, a high school in Masshole Central has a pregnancy problem because a bunch of idiot teen girls (only 2 years from voting eligibility) agreed to all get pregnant together. Supposedly they want that unconditional love that a baby provides (along with spit up, dirty diapers and stretched out.....well nevermind). Here's an idea. Getting a friggin' dog, you stupid stupid bitches. One of them actually got knocked up a homeless bum in his mid-20s (bet he's bragging about that to the crazy cat lady while sharing a can of Sterno). I really have to question her looks if that's the best she could do. She's in a high school full of guys in perpetual heat, and she has to knock boots with a homeless guy?

Heck, these dummies will probably fall for Obama's latest hogwash as he blatantly breaks a pledge made back in November to accept public financing for the general election (like every major party candidate has since public financing began). I could use this opportunity to point out that, unlike his manufactured image, Obama is again acting like a typical politician. Except he's really not. Politicians normally aren't this brazen about their deception. It's almost tough to describe how full of hypocritical shit he is on this issue. Now, I don't like public financing of campaigns, but Obama is a (pretend) "reformer" which is why he talked up public financing back then. It wasn't broken then, but it's broken now. Mainly because he knows he can raise more money than he'd get in the public financing. So, how is it broken? Supposedly because lobbyists and special interests are able to gain advantages in a system where they can help a candidate get elected. Now, public financing means you take money from the government for your campaign instead of taking it from private citizens which can include lobbyists, bundlers and pretty much anyone else. That means fundraisers and big money supporters can't buy access to you with campaign donations. So, how exactly is eschewing public money in favor of campaign donations from big fundraisers with an ax to grind going to fix the system?

Obama's statement was so full of shit that I was really shocked that he didn't just bite the bullet and admit he was opting out because he could raise more money without it. He said Republicans take lobbyist money which insinuates he doesn't. Except the article from The Hill quotes one of Obama's big money fundraisers, Wade Randlett. Well, Wade just happens to be a lobbyist. Obama also claims to fear Republican 527s (outside groups that fall outside campaign finance laws), but in 2004, 527s allied with the Democrats outspent those pushing Republicans. By a lot. And finally, Obama thinks because so much of his money comes from small donors via the internet which is a crock. A person is only allowed to donate $4600 ($2300 in the primary and general election) to a candidate. Total. Yet, if you donate less than $200, there's no disclosure requirements. Anyone could go online, set up a $199 donation to a campaign and click submit about 100 times (which isn't really that hard). Voila. You've contribute a lot more than the max. Pure hypocrisy. I think the only people who can't see through the BS probably made a pact to get pregnant in the 10th grade.

But Obama got an endorsement from Al Gore last week. Everyone knows you're not going to endorse a Republican, so you waited until after the Democratic primary is over to endorse a candidate. Way to go out on a limb, Al. What next? Are you going to teach him how to "green" your house and still manage to increase your electric usage?

Then, there's Canada where it's been decided that enabling stupid children is the point of the court system. Some douchebag judge decided that she could decide whether or not a 12 year old girl could be grounded for disobeying her parents. The girl was grounded after posting pictures of herself on a dating site. So, the girl's lawyer and judge decided that they are a better arbiter of parental authority than a parent. Oh, and apparently, there's nothing wrong with 12 year olds posting their pictures on a dating website. Wonder if she'll be pregnant before she's 16. I like how the lawyers both said that this case is unique with a special set of circumstances. No it's not. There are a lot of retarded judges and lawyers out there willing to indulge a spoiled little brat.

I mentioned before that Tiger Woods beating Rocco Mediate in a playoff to win the US Open with a bad wheel was overhyped when you consider that other guys played football on broken legs which is probably a little harder to do than play golf. But after hearing that he's out for the rest of the year to have surgery, maybe I should rethink it. I have. The PGA is full of pussies. All those golfers in the field and the playoff came down to a guy with a bad leg facing off a guy with a bad back. Man, those other guys should certainly be proud of themselves.

About as proud as the LA Lakers. The Celtics were obviously the better team. Somehow Doc Rivers is now being seen as a good coach, but that's a joke. The fact that Atlanta and Cleveland took Boston to 7 games tells me all I need to know about Rivers' coaching ability. The Celtics had three perennial All-Stars this year. A retarded monkey on crack could have won the finals with that (and also drafted better than Walt). Yet, that doesn't mean the Lakers weren't an embarrassment. Too much soft Eurotrash in key positions. They lost the last game by 39 points. That was the second worst loss in finals history. But even more, the worst loss was a game three when a team might slack off during an obvious loss to save themselves for the next game. This was an elimination game. You lose and it's over. The Lakers pretty much quit at the half. Sad.

When you add my clumsiness to a lack of consideration for my own well-being, I've had some rather strange injuries. I've just never been injured by my underwear. This woman was injured when some metal part on her thong snapped out and hit her in the eye while she was putting them on. I think what initially stood out to me was the fact that she is 52 and wearing butt floss. I tried to find a picture of her to see if she could pull it off. I saw a video, and I'm not real sure she shouldn't be trying a new style. However, it was only from the waist up so I couldn't see if she had a big ass. If I was Victoria's Secret, I would make the case she was trying on a size too small which caused it to break. Even if you lose, embarrass her some.

Here's a better thong story (warning: link not safe for work). A bunch of Austrian chicks beat a bunch of Kraut chicks in beach soccer in a kind of reverse Anschluss but not really. What made it good is that it was topless. Well, they had body paint for pseudo-shirts. However, I had two thoughts. One is that the article said they were wearing thongs, but those really didn't look like thongs (and why no pictures from behind for proper verification?). Second, shouldn't the goalie have been painted a different color?

Let's get back to stupid teenagers for a moment. A new liability problem has erupted because a chaperon has been sued because some 18 year old high school student couldn't hold her liquor and died after hang gliding off her hotel balcony without a hand glider. Sorry. Your daughter was 18. I was 17 when my parents sent me to a college 750 miles away from them. The woman may have been a chaperon, but at that age, the girl needed to take some responsibility for herself. Let's ask this question. If the chaperon had tried to stop her from drinking, what could she have done? Spank her? Threaten to send her home? I'm willing to bet the chaperon isn't given any disciplinary control over a legal adult.

Those who know me may be aware of the contempt I have for the United Nations. Well, now the special rapporteur (French for worthless waste of time and money) who is supposed to be checking on the Israeli treatment of Palestinians (but ignoring Palestinian treatment of Israelis or other Palestinians) wants an investigation into whether the 9/11 attacks were an American government plot. Because both the World Trade Center and Pentagon are located somewhere in the Gaza Strip, I guess. It's bad enough that we give 25% of the UN's funding, but we also give them prime New York real estate to house our enemies and a bunch of people who just don't like us. There's a lot of people who don't like me. I'm fine with that, but I wouldn't let them sleep on my couch. Well, Phil did sort of stay with me for a month, but I didn't pay him a salary.

Interesting crime story. A group of women were apparently dressing as nurses to snatch purses from old women. The theory is that the geriatrics would be lulled into a false sense of security if nurse walked up to them. Kind of reminds me of the time a nurse followed me through a parking lot offering me prostate exams. Or else I was following her and asking for one. I really can't remember. Things were a bit hazy that day.

A new study says drinking lots of coffee is good for you. Hell Yeah. I don't have too many other healthy habits. Well, none that I can think of, so this puts one in my column.

And finally, someone compiled a list of the worst album covers ever. I think the first thought that came to mind was that there was something seriously wrong going on in the 1970s. I also remember the trauma children suffered watching that freak Slim Goodbody (album #26). I wanted to get Julie's Sixteenth Birthday (album #36), but I decided to wait until the movie comes out. And finally, I can't believe there is a Tommy Seebach album (#30) on this list. He's the genius who gave us this video:

Some Recent News Stories

It just wouldn't be a news report without starting with Paris Hilton who has just been sentenced to 45 days in jail for probation violation. I've never seen her show or movies. Well, except parts of that one video that never made it to television. Which is why I've never understood the fascination with her, because while I guess she's attractive, she's really not so stunningly beautiful to the point I should care. While I won't be like some and say she has no talent, because to others, the ability to mug for a camera during fellatio while stoned is a talent. And I know she can do that. I've seen it. However, she doesn't do it all that often, and her other "talents" shouldn't be enough to merit this attention. I'm not sure who is more clueless - her, the people covering her or her fans. The media covering it are pretty stupid because they write their stories like she'll actually serve 45 days of hard time. To begin with, she'll probably get time off for good behavior and not serve 45 days. Secondly, she will be segregated from other prisoners because no one cares if some two bit check kiter spending 30 days in the slammer gets turned into some bull dyke's bitch, but prison officials don't want that to happen to someone who has People magazine on speed dial. Still, are they as stupid as Paris herself? She thinks she's being treated unfairly. Let's see? Get probation, mandatory alcohol counseling and a suspended license for a DUI. Skip mandatory counseling and get caught driving with said suspended license three times. Then insult the judge's intelligence by claiming you got bad legal advice from your publicist. Follow that up with the unfairness claim. I agree with her. She shouldn't be treated differently. Put her in general lockup so that some bull dyke does turn her into her bitch. Still, she's dumb, but nothing like her fans who are now signing a petition to the governor of California to pardon her because "she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to our otherwise mundane lives." Hey, we've got a winner for the most clueless. Normally, I oppose suicide, but if someone needs a socialite/wannabe actress who wouldn't give them the time of day on the street to provide a spark in their useless existence, don't let me be the one to tell them not to put a gun barrel in their mouth. I guess the only saving grace is that more people are signing a petition to jail her than are signing the one to free her.

Of course, why should a "celebrity" think she should obey traffic laws when the people at the top of the law enforcement structure don't think the laws apply to them either?

On the NASCAR front, people were shocked when Dale Earnhardt Jr is leaving Dale Earnhardt Inc. (DEI) which his father founded. I find the whole thing rather silly because I can name another prominent Earnhardt who never drove for DEI in Nextel Cup (formerly Winston Cup, formerly Grand National). Dale Earnhardt Sr who founded the company. He only drove Busch Series races with it. So, I don't know why Junior not driving for DEI is so shocking when Senior thought his chances of winning were better with Childress Racing. I'm actually odd when it comes to Dale Jr. I like him, but I didn't really like his dad, so I don't care that he's leaving DEI. I do think it's funny that it'll screw his most hardcore (and moronic) fans who have already tattooed his number 8 on some part of their body. A lot of people think it would make sense for him to go to Childress and drive his dad's old number 3 car, but I actually think he would be better off not doing that. It's kind of like Hank Williams Jr in music. He really needed to stop singing his dad's songs and make it on his own. What is shocking to me is that DEI thinks they will still have something without him. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Dan Wetzel had the best column about it. Junior wanted majority ownership, but his stepmother Teresa only offered it at a big price. DEI wasn't like Childress or Penske or several other organizations that were racing centered. DEI is pure personality centered. Or was. Dale Sr is dead. They just let his heir and most popular living driver go. To tell the truth, I think Dale Jr regretted leaving, but he wasn't going to work for his stepmother. She insulted him in the Wall Street Journal, but expected a loyalty discount. Didn't get it, and now she's got garbage.

I think what I find most disturbing is that there are people out there (and I know some) who aren't concerned with Iran getting nuclear weapons.

I thought it was bad when Sudan was a member of the United Nations Human Rights Commission (while simultaneously chaired by Libya). And it was. However, the fact that African basket case Zimbabwe is now chairing the Commission of Sustainable Development. Apparently, the UN has decided being bad at something is all the more reason to put you in charge of it. And yet, some people think we don't give enough money to the UN.

At least people in England are protected from male strippers, because obviously real crime is not a problem there.

One problem with the Kentucky Derby is that it can attract bad elements to the state. Namely OJ Simpson. It was big news when he was refused service at an upscale steak house in Louisville because he is, well, a scumbag. Originally, Simpson's lawyer threatened to sue for racial discrimination, but apparently changed his mind. My guess is that he realized "people who get away with killing their ex-wife and then try to write a book about it" are not a protected class. Plus, I'm sure the last place he wants OJ is giving a deposition. Of course, it led to local "activist" Louis "Louisville's Al Sharpton" Coleman picketing the steak house. Apparently, getting away with multiple homicide isn't an injustice, but refusing to let someone who did that eat at an expensive restaurant is. Since a civil jury found the preponderance of evidence was conclusive that Simpson was responsible for the murder of his ex-wife and the Jewish bodybuilder, I have no choice but to conclude that Coleman believes murdering white people and Jews is acceptable.

Now, to begin with, I believe anyone who thinks a picture of 18,000 naked Mexicans is art has lost their mind. Give me a break. It doesn't take much to stand their naked. None of my Mexican neighbors run around naked. In fact, they get huffy when I go to the laundry without any pants on. Hypocrites.

Hey, San Francisco has decided to be a sanctuary city for illegal aliens. Of course, that's pretty easy to do considering the price of housing and cost of living is astronomical in San Francisco. Since it's unlikely illegal immigrants have the high paying jobs there, the likelihood is that the only illegal immigrants living in San Francisco are homeless. Or buttboys for rich..... well never mind.

This was a horrible crime. A mother sells her daughter for $3000. To Sammy Hagar. Okay, someone who looks a lot like Sammy Hagar. Of course, looking at Mom, I'm real curious what the daughter looks like. Not to make light of her sad circumstances (but that's what I do), but if she takes after her mother, this dude overpaid.

Then there is my favorite. The politician engaging in the BS publicity stunt. This was a good one. The governor of Oregon lived a full week on $21 worth of food to commiserate with people who live on food stamps. The easiest way to show what a moron this guy is would be to point out that food stamps are a supplement. For the stupid, that means you are given $21 a week to "help" pay for your groceries. Food stamps are not designed to pay your entire grocery bill. I realize it's tough for a politician in the Democratic Party to understand, but the food stamp program expects its participants to have enough responsibility to pay for some of their own grocery bill. Actually, I would put even more severe restrictions on it, especially after I stood in line at a gas station convenience store (about a block from a regular grocery store) and watched some little brat buy Popsicles with food stamps. He wasn't buying a box of them. He was buying a box worth of individual ones. So, he's buying them at a higher priced store and in the most expensive way possible. Great. With that type of economic mentality, I'm shocked his family qualified for food stamps. Well, except that I knew a couple of guys in college who applied for and received food stamps because they could show they had no income. They had no income because their parents sent them money each week so they didn't need a job. So, they blew their money from home on weed and beer and used the food stamps for snacks. Dickweeds. But I digress. Problems with a government program will be addressed at another time. My biggest problem with what the governor of Oregon is doing is that it's completely full of crap. Living on a food stamp allotment for a week to "empathize" with the downtrodden is bogus. Mainly because you know at the end of the week that you will be able to go back to living the high life with the chef at the governor's mansion. It's like another instance when I was in college. A group of well-intentioned fools, I mean students, decided the best way to understand the homeless experience was to sleep outside one night. Well, as a kid, I remember doing that quite often. As a Boy Scout. And for fun. It's called camping. How did these people really believe they were going to have an experience like a homeless person? For one, they weren't drunk, on drugs or consumed by mental problems (well, not clinically). Secondly, the only danger they faced sleeping in a small campus quad was a drunken frat guy running over them while doing donuts out there (and no, it wouldn't have been me, because I didn't have a car most of the time I was in college). It's just feel good pointless crap that really does nothing to alleviate any problem. It just lets some narcissistic personalities feel better about themselves