The NBA Draft

Ah, the NBA Draft. Not near as good as the NFL draft no matter what Mark Story said in the Lexington rag. Actually, considering he said that the NBA Draft might be the single best day of sports each year proves he's a moron. After you get past the Oden/Durant argument, you start wondering things like "who is going to take the 7 foot Chinaman". He fails to mention that watching the NBA draft means you have to keep your finger on the mute button for when they go to Stephen A-hole Smith. Still, I'm going to blog it just so I can make fun of a bunch of stiffs who get drafted because they are tall but slow.

Well, Portland takes Greg Oden with the first pick. Smart move. Outside the Michael Jordan Bulls, the '04 Pistons are the only team to win an NBA championship since 1990 without a big man taken with the number one pick. Otherwise, it's Hakeem Olajuwon (2), Shaq (4) and Timmy Duncan (4). Not that taking a big man number one is always a good idea - think Kwame Brown and Michael Olowokandi-ass. But I don't think that will be Oden. And Seattle gets a nice consolation prize with Durant.

Side note - support local candidates when you vote.

And Milwaukee selects the 7 foot Chinaman after three other teams didn't. Al Horford - good pick. Michael Conley Jr - who knows. Jeff Green - getting traded to Seattle so who cares.

Charlotte takes Brandan Wright from North Carolina. Apparently they were sold by his prospectus that said "doesn't play hard". He'll be the fourth Tarheel on Charlotte's roster. Get a UNC guard, change the team colors to powder blue, and maybe they can draw a crowd.

Joakim Noah made history when he became the third player drafted out of Florida this year (no school has ever had three players drafted in the top ten in the same year). He may make history in the future when he becomes the first player drafted by the NBA and the WNBA. His English is as bad as that guy from China's.

Side note - I'd like to send a little shout out to the guy in front of me at the self-checkout line in the store today. It's called a fast lane because we're supposed to be done quickly. If you're too damned ignorant to ring up produce yourself, go to a regular line.

Okay, Sacramento just drafted Spencer Hawes so we've got the first stiff and the first use of "upside". A non-athletic 7 footer who doesn't rebound well or block shots. That's a can't miss product.

Four guys taken to end the "lottery" part of the show. Then we get Rodney Stuckey, Nick Young and Sean Williams. I thought Dick Vitale said this was going to be one of the deepest drafts ever. Well, he says a lot of stupid things.

Great. Knicks might have made a trade to get Portland head-case Zach Randolph which leads to Stephen A-hole touching himself and extended screen time for Spike Lee to celebrate. Let's see, Portland gets Greg Oden, and New York gets a true team player who is also a suspension waiting to happen. Of course, when he said Bill Bradley could shut down Larry Bird, I knew Spike Lee was a typical New York sports fan. Loud and clueless.

Side note - They're holding Congressional hearings on NFL disability payments. When are they going to focus on the true injury epidemic - hurt jaws from competitive eating?

A second player from Georgia Tech was just drafted. I would have thought with two players taken in the top 19, Tech should have won at least one tournament game.

Hey, more garbage about Kobe Bryant wanting a trade. What's he going to do if the Lakers don't trade him? Not play? Pout? That will endear him to the masses.

Side note - Considering the great strides sportwriters make to distinguish professional wrestling from real sports, the sports news websites sure are carrying a lot of stories about Chris Benoit's double murder-suicide. Do they think this means Barry Bonds will wig out and kill people?

And once again, a big deal is made when the local New York team drafts someone (Wilson Chandler? Who the Hell is that?). Should we all begin to question God as to why we weren't born a New York "insert team name" fan? Well, except Phil because he used to be a Mets fan.

San Antonio takes another South American - Tiago Splitter from Brazil. Which led to the graphic about how many international players are on the Spurs. Beginning with Tim Duncan. From the U.S. Virgin Islands. Let me point out that the "U.S." in U.S. Virgin Islands stands for United States. How is a U.S. citizen from a U.S. territory considered an international player?

Side note - I would look into getting one of those iPhones except I already have an iPod and I don't really like talking on the phone and it's $500.

Well, they finished the first round with a true international player - Howdy Doody.... I mean Petteri Koponen who played for the Honka Espoo Playboys in Finland. And I'm not making that team name up. Sounds like people into kinky backdoor sex.

And I'm going to quit as we get into the second round. To keep interest, the semi-worthless commentators will be trying to portray the draftees as the next Carlos Boozer or Gilbert Arenas. Oh, and they've already started the discussion about guys who came out "too early". Sure, some of these guys will look like schmucks for coming out early when they drop out of the first round (and guaranteed money). However, for a lot of them, they don't like school and want to leave anyway. An athletic career is a finite time, so for many, it makes sense to get your career started. There is no guarantee these guys are going to help their draft status by staying an extra year. It's not like the first round is littered with seniors. Did Glen Davis really help himself by staying an extra year?

Okay, I had to add one more point. In the second round, the Miami Heat just drafted a guy named Stanko.