More Random News And Notes

Told you a long time ago (well, a month anyway) that Paris Hilton wouldn't serve her entire sentence. Ironically, now she might. A lesson to be learned - don't piss off the judge.

Speaking of the law, a woman was just awarded $29K for false arrest because the New York court system ruled a long time ago that since a man walking around topless isn't indecent exposure, neither is a topless woman in public. I wonder if a bunch of topless women are now going to be wandering the streets of NY hoping an overzealous cop takes them in. Why not? I've heard rumors of these clubs where women take their clothes off and dance for men waving singles at them. Unless these "strip clubs" are an urban legend, those girls could get paid and not even dance.

In a sad story with a happy ending, the Australian town of Hinton was cut off by floodwater. Yet, the emergency services stepped up and delivered beer. I'm thinking of building a moat around my apartment building to see if I can sucker the city into delivering me beer. Unfortunately, Lexington struggles to fill potholes. They may not be up to the challenge of delivering beer.

Now, Applebee's can get alcohol to you. Even in a sippy cup to a two year old. I'm not sure why the mother was mad. A margarita is a lot more expensive than apple juice. Okay, so the kid got sick, but kids get sick all the time. But I think the moral of the story is toddlers just can't hold their liquor. Sure I got sick the last time I drank Tequila, but I had to drink a lot of it and chase it with Stroh's.

It's always nice to find out that women are just as degenerate as men. At least in England. And I think we all really knew that.

And in Texas, sex is selling the news as a bikini model is now the anchorwoman of the local newscast. Some people are outraged because she doesn't have a journalism background. So what? What do they need to know besides how to read a teleprompter?

I realize that there are a lot of dicks in the workplace, and it's entirely possible some exhibit psychopathic behavior there (I know I do). However, in this story about the "workplace psychopath", a moronic doctor actually says "I think the workplace psychopath is actually more dangerous than the violent criminal psychopath". Really? Does this mean he would rather deal with a hatchet wielding nutsack over the workplace asshole?

Speaking of psychopaths, another study has found that Muslims who favor a larger role of Islam in politics were also more likely to support terrorism. You think? What's next? A study that shows those same people believe it's okay to kill their daughter for refusing to be forced into an arranged marriage?

I guess animals can go psycho too as this squirrel went on a rampage in Germany. However, I don't think the squirrel was crazy. The animal kingdom has declared war on us. Fighting back will be tough. In this country, you can't even shoot a few dolphins (the elite special forces of the sea). Norway won't even let you boil a few crabs (although originally I thought the article was about controlling jock itch).

This wouldn't be a problem if we had all listened to Bob Barker and spayed or neutered our children. Or was it pets? I can't really remember. Now, Bob is gone. And he's promoting Rosie O'Donnell as his replacement. He says she wants to host the Price Is Right. Of course she does. She can't wait to get her hands on Barker's Beauties. I think half of them have posed for Playboy at one time or another (and one is now an anchorwoman in Texas). And nailing one is not grounds for dismissal but you might get sued. More good news for Rosie. Donald Trump may not have been mean to her when he called her fat. Experts are now saying doctors should be blunt when talking to fat kids about their weight. So, if telling a four year old they are fat instead of "husky" is a good thing, it should be just as good to do the same with a woman who has the intelligence and maturity of a four year old?