The Vast Wasteland

So, the finals are set with Florida against Ohio State. Whoo hoo. I guess I'll root for Ohio State just because I really don't want Florida to win two. It was kind of funny hearing how the Donovan to UK talk might distract the Gators, but I seriously doubt it. I read one guy (can't remember who) who said that Florida's players are probably hoping Donovan takes the UK job so they won't feel bad about jumping to the NBA. I doubt they need that excuse. I think at least Joakim Noah, Al Horford and Corey Brewer make the jump no matter what. What's to keep them? They are already losing starter Lee Humphrey and number one sub Chris Terry. Actually, Humphrey has been the key to Florida's success. With the exception of the Kansas loss where he played well, Humphrey's worst games ended up being losses or closer-than-they-should-have-been wins(like UK). So, since they won't be bringing back the whole gang, those three leave anyway.

Sadly, the end of the college basketball season means the beginning of the lousy television season. When nothing else good was on, I could always switch to basketball. However, I'm not big on the NBA, and I've gotten to the point where I would rather watch paint dry than baseball. I like NASCAR, but it's only on one day of the week. I know what some people are thinking. Why not do something constructive instead of watching TV? Sometimes after a hard day at work, it's nice to come home and relax in front of the TV. The rest of the time I just don't want to do anything constructive, and I think that's probably the best for everyone. To be honest, I do other things while watching TV which is why I like sports. I don't have to watch intently because they have replay.

Besides, most network television sucks. I almost disowned my aunt for making me watch Grey's Anatomy when I was visiting. That show absolutely blows. I think it takes rejected scripts from General Hospital and adds better production values but keeps the same level of acting. Plus, the Asian chick is kind of odd looking. I used to watch House, but it kind of lost me. That's what happened with Law & Order, too. I like the original C.S.I., but I hate the one in Miami. Okay, I really just hate David Caruso. However, I don't really make a point to catch the original because the gap toothed bitch is really beginning to get on my nerves. In fact, the only show I make a point to watch is 24, but only because I saw the first episode and don't want to get behind. Actually, this is the first year I've watched it, and it's really mind-boggling how stupid the people are on the show. A nuke went off outside L.A., but two hours later the biggest concern in the counter-terrorism unit seemed to be whether or not the token Muslim in the office was going to sue because Ricky Shroder (yes, that Ricky Shroder) was about to torture info from her because her computer was the feed used by the terrorists to take over their satellites, but she was re-instated when it was discovered the terrorists had some module that let them in. Ever hear of a firewall? A nuke just went off and you're worried that the EEOC might show up with a complaint? On the plus side, I need to get the cell phone service they have. I can't get reception driving between Lexington and E-town, but these guys don't have a problem in a nuke zone. Don't seem to be too many traffic problems either. Must be the HOV lanes.

Then, there are the reality shows. Can't get into them. Don't understand the appeal at all. I do watch The Soup so I have seen people on those idiot shows. Actually, I caught an episode of I Love New York while over at Phil's place. Phil, I just want to thank you for showing me that booze is not the only way to kill my brain cells. As for American Idol, one week on The Soup, I see some girl crying over some Hindu looking dude with a woman's hairstyle from the 80s who really couldn't sing that well. Strangely enough, the crying girl seemed to want more. Then, the next week, the guy had his hair up like a woodpecker on crack. This is one of the highest rated shows on TV? Then there is its cousin show Dancing With The Stars. Did you know that Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg? I wasn't sure the show mentioned that. Clearly she's an inspiration to all little girls with one leg. She's shown that they can still grow up to be an insufferable hag who can take advantage of a grieving rock star who they can leach from in a few years of marriage before trying to get a good chunk of his fortune in a divorce and then get on a show for D list celebrities. Every little girl's dream.

I used to be able to rely on cable, but now the History Channel has some bizarre fascination with shows about UFOs. It's gotten to be kind of hit or miss. VH1 used to have good shows like Behind The Music and I Love The 80s, but they ran out of groups to do documentaries about and nobody really cared about the 90s. Except UK basketball fans, but I don't think that made I Love The 90s. Now VH1 has I Love New York which should only be shown to prisoners at Gitmo. Discovery Channel has become a refuge for viewing. Unfortunately, I never know if Mythbusters is new or not, and they seem to be running out of things to test. Dirty Jobs may eventually hit that point. How many sewers can you crawl into? I expect contrived jobs like the jizz mopper from Clerks in the future. At least the new season of Deadliest Catch begins this week. Maybe someone will fall overboard again.