College Basketball & Other Stuff

As I sit here with the UK-Florida game on in the background, I'm reminded how funny I thought it was when several UK fans I know were irate that Billy Donovan turned down UK's coaching job. Donovan does have three trips to the NCAA Finals with two titles. But still.............I just think he's been a bit lucky on timing. Let's face it, Donovan's second title was pure luck. Teams typically cannot win titles and their stars from jumping to the NBA. Florida would have been in the NIT if the four stars had jumped to the pros after the 2006 title. For Donovan to keep two championship teams together twice is a slim to none chance. So, would UK fans really live with a title, a final four and only one other trip out of the first weekend in 13 seasons?

Hmp. Florida just pulled within three. Should have watched more closely.

The other thing about this is that it's Senior (and Patrick Patterson) Day. But everyone knows that John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins are going pro too. I'm guessing Eric Bledsoe is too unless he completely flops in the tournament. Well, everyone knows this except Alan Cutler who did a report saying Cousins was coming back. He based that on a statement from Calipari. A writer for the Cat's Pause told me everyone in the room except Cutler realized Calipari was just joking. How does he stay on the air? Is there really a market for sportscasters who are clueless and utterly inept?

But there are fringe benefits to players staying behind at UK. You can keep getting jobs later in life because you were a Wildcat basketball player. I think Cameron Mills still does commercials for funeral homes, and he kind of stunk. Or you can be Jared Prickett. He discusses UK basketball for one of the morning news shows. Back when UK had one loss and was ranked second in the country, he stated with authority that UK could lose another game and still get a #1 seed in the tournament. At the time Kansas had one loss and Syracuse had two. No one else had fewer than three. So, he was saying that a UK team tied for the second fewest losses in the country would still get a #1 seed in the tournament. Way to go out on limb. What other pearls of wisdom will he have? That if UK wins four NCAA tournament games, they have a good shot at the Final Four? I guess he figures Cutler can't last forever and he can easily fill that role.

Not sure if this is a basketball story or a porn star story. But an assistant at Kansas met porn star Samantha Ryan on a plane and gave her tickets to the Kansas-Kansas St game on Senior Day. According to both sides, it was a "random act of kindness". Sure it was. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't know she did porn. I looked her up (for research purposes only), and I didn't really know who she was. Seems to have done a lot of young/old lesbian movies so maybe he had a fetish. But even if not, I did notice one thing. She's a young attractive blond with a porn star body. I'm sure that had nothing to do with a married father of five giving prime tickets to the most anticipated game of the season to some woman he met on a plane and never expected to see again. Hell, I'm sure no one else wanted them.

But here's a porn story with an Olympic twist. A Norwegian cross-country skier finished second. He said it was because he was watching porn too much while there. Actually, he said he heard it next door. Is this what Norwegian skiers do? Sit around and watch porn together? And how did it affect his skiing? Keep him from training? Too much monkey spanking (with another guy in the room)? Too much pot smoking while watching? I mention this last thing because drugs had to be responsible for the last line of his statement - "By the way Tiger Woods is a really good man." Uh-huh. I'm sure Tiger wants someone rushing to his defense while talking about porn. Or maybe he's giving Woods a thumbs up because he now knows how tough it must have been to keep playing a sport at a high level while spending your off time with a perpetual hard on. Or maybe he watched Tiger's Wood, thought it was really Woods and was impressed.

Well, UK won. Prickett declared the lead was safe about five minutes after the buzzer. Northern Iowa is now playing Wichita State. Might have to keep an eye on Northern Iowa in the tournament. Not many teams have Kane from the WWF on their team. But have to watch a lot of teams out there. I think the tournament is wide open. I don't think any of the top teams have separated themselves from the field. Sure I could see a Kansas or Kentucky win it all. But I could also see a probable three seed like Ohio State or Villanova making a run to the title. Or see them being a 1 or 2 seed when this week is done. But I can't see Syracuse. They lost to Louisville twice. Which shows me Louisville can beat anybody. Too bad they have a bunch of other games (Western Carolina; St. John's) that show they can lose to anyone too. Tough to put them past the Sweet 16 since they haven't put together three good games in a row of late. On talent alone, UK should be in the Final Four. Four potential first round picks? Hell, they should win it all. I won't pick them to. Poor three point shooting and freshman decision making will do them in at some point. For Calipari's sake, he'd better make the Final Four this year especially if Wall, Cousins, Patterson and Bledsoe go pro after this season. He's only got one recruit signed for next year. Obviously, he's got a shot at a couple of other top ones, but he's not going to get three guys who are projected first round picks as freshmen again. And he won't have a Patrick Patterson sticking around. And as pissed as UK fans got when UK lost to South Carolina, imagine if their unbeatable team doesn't make it to the final weekend.

I love stories like this one. The LA school district has suspended three teachers for giving students pictures of RuPaul, Dennis Rodman and OJ Simpson to wave around at the Black History Month parade. Frankly I don't see what the big deal is. This is Los Angeles, and RuPaul is the most famous cross-dresser ever. Sounds like the NAACP may have some homophobia issues. As for Rodman, he was a two time Defensive MVP. Plus he wrestled against both Randy Savage and Curt Hennig before going onto his greatest accomplishment ever - commissioner of the Lingerie Football League. RuPaul and Rodman can show the little freaky kids of the world that their emotional dysfunction won't stop them from getting a reality show. As for Simpson, I saw the reaction to his acquittal for murder. He's a bigger hero in LA's black community than Martin Luther King Jr.

This is cute. Jon Cryer called the cops because he thinks his ex-wife may have "hired a hitman to kill him." As opposed to hiring him to mow the grass I guess. I like how his ex-wife said she doesn't know anything about threats. Which means Cryer must be safe. If I had hired a hitman, I'd freely admit it to TMZ. Personally, I can't imagine anyone being that passionate about Jon Cryer to pay to have him killed. Maybe it was a drug addled Charlie Sheen thinking Cryer was one of his exes (wives, girlfriends, tranny hooker etc).

Do I think Jim Bunning is a bad person? Well, he is a UK fan. But I won't hold it against him for that silly crap about holding up an extension of unemployment benefits. It was the biggest nothing story ever. All he wanted was for Congress to say where the money was coming from. But the reason that it's a nothing story is because of the serial whiners saying people wouldn't get their unemployment checks. Please. To begin with, his initial objection just kept the extension from being passed by voice vote. Heaven forbid Congress actually cast a vote in person. But ask yourself these two questions. If the situation was so dire, why did they wait until the last minute to vote on it? It's not like they didn't know well in advance that it was coming up. Hell, this extension is just for a month. If it's so important, vote for a longer period. Oh right, now I remember. They passed pay as you go legislation a couple of weeks ago saying you have to say where the money is coming from. Except in emergencies. So if you make sure all your spending items are "emergencies" by waiting until the last minute, you can exempt them. Smart. The other question to ask is if the sky was falling, why didn't they schedule an actual vote on the extension once they knew Bunning wouldn't allow it to pass on a voice vote? He did it on a Thursday so have a roll call vote on Friday. He might filibuster, but 60 votes would stop that. Didn't everyone but Jim want this? So why wait until the next week to vote on this indispensable legislation? Guess it's not as important as a four day weekend.

But it did give certain people a chance to beclown themselves. The best was Paul Krugman who has been a clown for years. He decided to poo-poo the thought that long term unemployment benefits might lead to people not looking for work. Which is an interesting concept. The problem with hiring a professor as a newspaper columnist is that they have this thing called a history. Meaning they've written books and academic papers. Which could indicate a completely different belief from the past. Oh, like a textbook that states that long term unemployment benefits might lead to people not looking for work. As Paul Krugman once wrote in such a textbook. Now, does this mean I suddenly think he's a hypocrite for going against previous beliefs to toe the liberal party line? Nope. I've always thought he was a hypocrite who was going against previous beliefs to toe the liberal party line.

But is there really a place in politics for economics? Apparently not. Philadelphia is looking to raise revenue by instituting a 2 cents per ounce tax on cokes and other drinks with sugar. For two reasons. One is to stop people from being fat. The other is to raise $77 million in revenue. Gee, why am I not buying this? Let's face it. I'm a fat guy (but an incredibly handsome one). I only drink coke in a bourbon and coke. Outside of that, I drink sugar free kool-aid, water and coffee. Oh, and lots of booze and beer. And I exercise almost none. So, blaming sugar filled drinks for fat people is not recognizing that total lifestyle choices cause people to be fat. As for tax generation, they're idiots. I've mentioned before that governments can't estimate how much money a tax will generate because they stupidly assume that people's behavior will not change. Guess what? Philadelphia isn't that big. Want to know the people who most want this tax? Stores right across the county line because if you add $2.40 to a six pack, people will load up on soda there and take it with them into Philadelphia. Good job. You just sent your tax revenue and your business revenue to another county. And you'll still have fat people.

How about some dick stories? Remember the old Ren & Stimpy cartoon about not peeing on the electric fence? Well, if you knock down a power pole, you may not want to piss on the downed power line either. Or stick your dick in a pipe. Using an industrial grinder to free my junk does not sound like a pleasant afternoon. I like how it mentions that the guy didn't tell anyone how his dick ended up stuck in a pipe. Why would he? I think we all know. He was horny, had a pipe but no woman and stuck his dick in a pipe. Or fell on it. It happens to the best of us.