Ski Trip, Olympics & Other Things

I wanted to live blog the Ski Trip this year, but there was an issue with the wi-fi at the cabin. Mainly it sucked. Took all Sunday just to upload some pics on Facebook. I didn't even try to waste my time with porn. But otherwise the cabin was fine. Other than the lack of heat in my room, a clogged drain, a gaping hole between two boards comprising the outer wall and that smell emanating from Phil. Nothing that couldn't be solved with a nice case of arson. But for the most part the Never-ending Poker Ga.........I mean, Ski Trip went off well. Sure, there were a lot of regulars we wish had been there, but people are getting older with more responsibility (glad I'm not). Was no unexpected nudity (that I remember) but in the past, that has been good or bad. Or both. Plenty of booze (moonshine mixed with pickle juice notwithstanding). Things to do (that friggin' incessant Rock Band notwithstanding). Lots of food by the wonderful cook staff (excessive veggie breakfast casseroles notwithstanding). Oh, and the Super Bowl was played. Best thing about the game? The Saints won. The only reason I cared? I picked them to win.

Was really the only reason I had a dog in that fight. I still hold a grudge over what the Mannings did to force a trade for Eli $hitbag after he was drafted. But I don't really care about the Colts. Nor do I care about the Saints. My only problem with the Saints is them winning would lead to a rehash of the "suffering" from Hurrican Katrina. Most communities with a natural disaster work to move on and improve. New Orleans appears to want to rebuild their slums in the same below-sea-level bowl as before. But there is a benefit to the Saints winning. I don't like Reggie Bush and now he has to marry into the dysfunctional Kardashian family.

But on to the Olympics. I've mentioned before that I like the Winter Olympics better than the summer ones. Apparently, I'm not the only one. And it's surprising some people. I saw a column in the Louisville Courier pointing out that the Olympics drew better than American Idol which didn't surprise me. Hasn't that show been dropping fairly steadily in the ratings over the years? Supposedly NBC was expecting big losses and poor ratings which I don't understand. The Olympics do better in the US, and Canada is almost the US. At least on timing. Which means that even the tape delay stuff is still fairly recent. Of course it doesn't hurt ratings that the US start winning medals early and often. That's always good for ratings.

Oh, and Canada managed to kill some poor bastard luger from Georgia (probably from Macon) and then doubled down by pissing on his grave and blaming him for the wreck that killed him. The argument was the track was unsafe because it was too fast and steep and when he flipped out of the track, there were steel poles that stopped the luger very suddenly. The counter-argument is that the guy was inexperienced and caused his own death. I'm surprised they haven't claimed it was a suicide. The guy (yes I'm not naming him because I don't want to spell it) wasn't a top sledder. But he was ranked 44th in the world. Did they not realize that the people outside the top 10 would be participating in the Olympics? And if it was his fault, why did they make changes for safety? Oh, and if his inexperience caused him to wreck on that curve, why do they call it "50-50"? Oh, because you have a 50% chance of wrecking in it. Even if he wasn't good enough to make it through there, you would think they'd try to make it so he doesn't fly out into a steel beam. How about a catch fence? Oh, and the inexperience argument really looks good considering Canada limited access to the track for non-Canadians to enhance their chances in the sledding event. And then came my favorite part. After the track was changed due to the death, the Canadian sledders were all class. They bitched that they lost their home ice advantage. Hmmm. Your home ice advantage played a role in someone's death, and you feel like a victim? I'll keep that in mind the next time someone tells me Canadians are nicer than Americans.

Here's the most bizarre story to come out of these Olympics. Joe Biden was there and didn't say anything stupid. But that is only the second most bizarre story. Some crazy dude got picked up by the Dudley Do-Rights for stalking Biden. Dude was infatuated with Biden. I'm not convinced even Biden's wife is infatuated with him.

But what's the Olympics without a little scandal. A snowboarder was booted from the Olympic village for having a risque photo taken with his bronze medal. Then I saw the risque photos. Come on. That's it? He's a snowboarder. I would not have been surprised to see him standing naked on a balcony with the medal hanging off his dork. This is fairly tame meriting a slap on the wrist for a little poor taste. Wait a minute. You don't think other Olympic athletes use their wins to help them score with chicks, do you? That sounds outrageous.

Saw a new sport going today. Called ski cross and it appears to be on a course that has features of both freestyle and downhill skiing. The best part is that they pick the finalists through time trials, but they ski for the medal in four man heats and narrow it down until they have one final four man heat for the medal round. So they ski against each other. While part of me hopes it turns into Rollerball on skis, I'm sure it's for the best that they aren't allowed to wipe each other out. I think it's spectator friendly. I like regular speed skating but short track is more fun to watch. I think it's because they are on the ice against each other instead of a clock. While you can kind of get an idea of how a regular speed skater is doing, it's hard to know when it's timed. Especially since I can't tell time. So, new sport looks interesting. I'm still disappointed they haven't added the sport I want - bikini skiing.

This is awesome. I heard Mitt Romney got into a tiff on a plane with someone which led to that person being kicked out. Now, I find out that he was a member of a hip-hop band called LMFAO. Article says there hit was "I'm in Miama Bitch", but I've never heard of them so I think it's a stretch to call it a hit. I'm also guessing that Romney really didn't use the Vulcan grip on him. But if he had, I think we made a mistake not electing him President. Imagine him going to summits with that. But I digress. I find it funny because after never hearing of them before, this is the second time in a week I've heard something about this "band". A co-worker saw them as the opening act for the Black Eyed Peas. He said they were so bad that he wasn't sure if they were a parody act or not. Although I consider the Black Eyed Peas to be a parody act, they don't bill themselves as one so maybe LMFAO takes themselves seriously too. All I know is that it equals one thing - the Black Eyed Peas are a leading cause of crime in America.

I find this rather disturbing, and I normally like strip joints getting around prude laws. Yet, when a judge in Iowa says it's okay for minors to strip at a titty bar as long as they can convince him they are somewhat of a theater, I might take issue. Right. The Shotgun Geniez is a theater. I'm sure the stripper pole fits right in when they do Hamlet. And those faux lesbian acts in the $300 hospitality suite were scripted by Neil Simon. And we won't get into lap dances. Well, I might later, but not at home. Let's just say that the artistic merit of a stipper dry humping a pole really shouldn't apply to 17 year olds.

Nor should school districts be checking the webcams of school issued laptops. But that's what one school did in Philadelphia. Remotely activated the webcam on student computers. It came to light because they reprimanded a student for something that he was doing inappropriate at home. They don't say what but it's either smoking weed or choking the chicken. I'm guessing the latter since drug use would probably lead to a suspension. But spanking the monkey probably isn't. Unless it's at school. Although I guess if he was cranking the shank in front of his laptop, he was probably surfing porn on it. That's probably verboten. The stated reason for the intrusion is that it will only be used to find stolen/missing ones. Yeah right. I'm sure no one would abuse that.

When I stumbled across this piece about weird food at McDonald's restaurants worldwide, my first thought was how disgusting all of it looked. Then I remembered how disgusting I find most of the food at McDonald's. Except their McGriddle sandwiches. Those things are awesome.

Some people are really good at surprising you. Sandra Bullock just did. As a Valentine surprise, she decided to shave her hair into a heart shape and dye it pink. But not the hair on her head. A bit lower. And apparently got the color wrong. And it burned. The surprise is not that she would do that. It's that she would talk about it. I guess she feels the need to get wild to compete with her husband's ex-wife. Not sure why Bullock feels the need to compete with a skanky ex-porn actress recently released from jail. But Hollywood types do weird things. Bullock does wholesome movies. Janine did at least six of the Where The Boys Aren't movies. Janine probably has more street cred out there.

I think Tom Cruise is friggin nuts. And overall his stand on psychiatry is flat stupid. There are absolute nutsacks out that there that need clinical help. Yet, psychiatrists sure go out of their way to try to prove Cruise and his Scientologist groupies have a point. Case in point, some want to declare anything and everything to be a disorder. Here's some fun ones that they are considering adding to their diagnostic guide. I've thought a lot of ones recently were pretty bogus, but when you label being a lazy POS as a disorder, you have gone way too far. If everything is a disorder, nothing is a disorder.

And what great timing. That story came out as Tiger Woods was preparing to give his press conference to discuss his philandering and of course therapy for sex addiction. You know that disorder. HavingMoney/BeingFamous. Now do I question the sincerity of Woods' news conference to apologize? Sure. It's hard to believe that someone who cheated that much would suddenly be remorseful about anything other than getting caught. But then again, that is remorse. After all, he may have just realized that he could lose his kids over this. That could cause regret. To be honest, I don't watch golf so if it wasn't for the sheer salaciousness of the stories, I wouldn't have paid much attention. The question is whether or not he'll be forgiven and go onto be a big endorser again. Well, outside of the John Holmes brand penis pump, I've never bought a product just because it was endorsed by a celebrity. So I think companies (outside of golf equipment) would foolish to throw a lot of money at him again. Except maybe the makers of sex paraphernalia.

But my favorite part of the day was Gloria Allred shedding even more credibility by holding her own press conference with one of the mistresses to complain that Tiger didn't apologize directly to her. Apparently she is unaware that apologizing to all his mistresses by name would take up too much time. But it gets better. She also feels Woods show go into "betrayal rehab" because Woods told her client he loved her. And she gave up her career for him. Oh, I forgot to mention that she was one of the porn stars. This is the most ridiculous crap I've ever seen and anyone who takes Allred seriously from now on deserves a lobotomy. Look at the quote from her. "He led her to believe she was the only woman in his life other than his wife." "Only" means one. If you say only, there can't be two. Face it Gloria. Your client is an idiot. And you're an idiot for representing her. And for other reasons. Do they give law degrees out in a cracker jack box? None of the mistresses attached to Woods can say they didn't know he was married. Ergo, not a victim. This one takes it to a whole new level by indicating that she believed she was going to have a lifetime relationship with him. Which must mean she thought he was going to leave his wife for her. If this slut was with him for three years, wasn't that a clue that he wasn't planning to leave his wife? Wasn't having children with his wife enough of a clue for that? How stupid is she? Did she really believe that a man who built his fortune with a carefully crafted image was going to throw it all away to marry a woman whose occupation can be described as sperm dumpster? Get real. I looked up some of Joslyn James' videos on the internet (purely for research purposes). I wasn't that impressed. She should have gotten out of porn long before he asked her to.