Ah Mexico & Other Crap

Considering how many of my neighbors are originally from Mexico, I used to not really be concerned about migration from Mexico. Yeah, I don't like illegal immigration (more on that later), but the only reason I've been concerned about how many get in from Mexico is fairness. We can't take everyone so why should someone from Mexico get precedence because they can walk across a seemingly unmanned border? Is that fair to Africans, Asians or Eastern Europeans who also live in poverty and would like to move to America for economic opportunity? But I didn't worry too much. Hell, immigration from Mexico has to be better than other places. Say, Pakistan. But still, for the most part, I like Mexico. If Taco Bell hadn't bastardized Mexican cuisine, I wouldn't have the Volcano Taco. But then a couple of things happened. First was a bunch of dickhead high schoolers. You're attending an American high school paid for by American tax dollars and you want fellow students suspended for wearing American Flag shirts on a Mexican holiday? Some people have lost their friggin minds (and the fact that this is in California explains why it may be the first state to go bankrupt). Does anyone think I'd be kicked out of an Irish pub in Boston for wearing that shirt on St Patrick's Day? I now don't want immigrants coming there if their ability to assimilate is so stunted that they find it offensive to wear the flag of the country that feeds and protects them on a holiday for the hellhole their parents fled.

Then came Felipe Calderon who happens to be the leader of said hellhole. He stands up in front of Congress to condemn the new law of Arizona that seeks to deal with the fact that our southern border might have a few leaks. Maybe if I thought he had a point, I might shrug it off. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...........noted right winger Wolf Blitzer managed to get Calderon to admit that American immigration laws might be a little less strict than other countries of the western hemisphere. Like Mexico. Almost seems hypocritical for him to lecture us considering the abuses that occur to immigrants moving through Mexico. Did I say "almost"? I meant what an asshole he is. Let's face it. Calderon doesn't want immigration reform. He wants to keep it the way it is. The economic boon they were supposed to get from NAFTA never really materialized. Might have something to do with a country being so lawless that drug gangs actually attacked army bases. So of course he needs his countrymen streaming into America so they can send money back home. It's a major part of their GDP. They don't abuse Central American illegals in Mexico because they're taking away jobs there. They're afraid an illegal Honduran will take a job from an illegal Mexican in the states. If Calderon really gave two craps about his people, he'd want to do something about it. As it is now, illegal immigration means the people trying to sneak in are preyed upon by all types of criminals. Human traffickers (including forced prostitution), drug smugglers, illegal sweatshop owners, identity thieves and the like. But what's a few Mexicans left to die in the desert by a a coyote as long as others get through to send half their paycheck back home.

While Calderon was making an ass of himself, so were several Congressmen (who may or may not have been from the majority party but in fact, were) who stood and applauded. They may re-think that in the fall if they were on camera for it. Which begs the question whether it's a good law or not. Of course it it. Some people are so out of touch with reality that MSNBC actually ran a headline saying the law made it a crime to be an illegal immigrant. Okaaaaaaaaay. I'm sure they'll find more illegal things to make illegal. The fact is that Arizona has had to deal with a lot of problems because we do nothing to secure our border with Mexico. We have enough criminals here. Why import more? And this nonsense about Arizona lawmen running wild to arrest illegals is plain stupid. Cops have a lot to do. They aren't cruising around looking for illegals. Plus, the law is clear they have to have stopped the suspect for something else first, and only then check their immigration status if something is suspicious. Which means if an illegal is pulled over for reckless driving, speaks no English, and has no ID, the police may check with the feds. Is it fair that a traffic stop could lead to someone being deported? Hell yeah. He broke the law to get here. Sympathy for him is in short supply. What isn't fair is letting him go while someone who has gone through the regular immigration process has to wait to get here.

I've only owned three cars in my life. Ran them to death before trading in for a new one. Always GM. Although I've never bought a "new" car in my life. But I may not buy a GM in the future. A government owned car company makes me think inefficient, low quality and overpriced. Not a great selling point for the future. But then came the ad stating they had paid back the federal government in full for the bailout loans. Now I expect a certain level of dishonesty in advertising but not such a bald face lie. Anyone with any cognitive thought realized it would be impossible for GM to payback billions in loans when they haven't made a profit in years. And sure enough, it was a big ass lie. The repayment money was taken from other bailout money. Which shows it's definitely government run because it has the same mindset. After all, the Social Security Administration invests its funds in Treasury bonds. Which means any money from social security taxes not paid out to retirees was "invested" in an entity that doesn't produce a return on investment. Basically the surplus was sent to the general fund to be spent profligately. Really not much different than taking one set of bailout dollars to pay off another and bragging about it.

Here's a truly heart-warming story. College and high school students in Washington, DC have joined together to rally for a cause - Trojan condoms. They're crying because health officials are supplying (for free) the non-trendy Durex condoms. The complaints? Don't like getting it from nurses which reminds them of their aunt or grandmother. Wusses. Poor quality which apparently means the quality of the wrapper since the Durex are just as good at the job. Oh, and the schools are full of John Holmes' wannabes who think the Durex are too small so they want the Magnum, the greatest marketing ploy ever. Which means the DC government is stupid for buying the Magnum and giving it out because a condom is supposed to be tight. If it isn't, it has a better chance for a breakage. So, I think before the nurse passes out the Magnum condom, she should make the student drop his pants so she can check that he's better endowed. This whole story is a joke. Save money and buy the Durex. If they're too stupid to use proper protection because it's not in a shiny wrapper, let them die. Besides, they interviewed a 30 year old college student. Seriously, man, get off your parents' couch and buy your own if you want a higher priced rubber.

Now I know I'm a bit of a UN critic, but is there anyone besides Ted Turner who gives the United Nations credibility anymore? They've had Libya chair the Human Rights Commission with Sudan as a member. They've had Zimbabwe chair a committee on sustainable development (I guess to tell us what they've done wrong). So, I guess having Iran be on the UN's Women's Rights commission is par for the course. I guess when Iran executes another teenage rape victim, it won't make the agenda.

I've never been interested in soccer before, but I sometimes get interested in soccer stories. Well, soccer stories about big busted prostitutes who may have been 17 when they began their sordid profession. Normally I won't defend users of underage whores, but then I saw the pictures of her. I'm assuming those are recent pictures so I have to admit, I'd have never thought she was underage so I doubt they were hiring her because they wanted a call girl to pretend to be a young girl. And I must say one thing makes me happy. She's French and yet willing to begin gainful employment at 17. You can't get most of those lazy bastards to work at all.

But that isn't the creepiest sports sex story I've read recently. That goes to the guy who went undrafted in the NFL despite having mid-round ability. The reason? He banged his sister. But it was while they were in high school when people don't have much common sense. To be honest, I'm not sure why he's on the sex offender registry for this. As noted in the story, it was consensual or he would be coded differently. He was 16, she was 15. If they weren't related, this would not be a crime. I'm not sure that having consensual sex with someone a year younger than you really makes you a potential predator which is the whole point of a sex offender registry. Having consensual sex with someone a year younger than you who happens to be your sister does make it creepy, and the plot of a lot of adult movies (or so I've been told). But considering the NFL has guys who have dealt drugs, beat their wives and killed people, creepy doesn't seem like that big a deal.

And this story isn't sports story but it's a lot more disturbing than some guy banging his sister. A man turned a woman he dated into the cops for giving him a sexually transmitted disease. It became a police matter because she also gave it to his dog.

Great. Someone came up with a grand plan to regulate the banking industry. Has a whole bunch of goodies to make sure financial institutions won't fail. How lucky we are to have Congress, a group of people who have proven a lack of any understanding of economics time and again, to protect us from risk. Of course, economic progress is based on risk. Banks accept a certain level of risk when they loan money. If the risk works, they get their money back plus interest. If it doesn't, they lose the money. One of the biggest causes of the latest problems was Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were giving out loans to anyone regardless of risk (and wants to again) and ended up having to be completely taken over by the government. Guess who somehow isn't part of this bill? Oh, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Makes sense. Face it. There is so much government regulation of the financial industry already. Most of the problem is so much of it is gray area stuff. The rest is that government regulators suck at their job. While all this was going on, a whole bunch of SEC staffers were surfing porn while on the job. How great to be a government bureaucrat. One guy tried had 16,000 hit attempts on porn sites. In a month. He got a two week suspension. Bet no one borrowed his desk chair while he was on it.

Speaking of lacking economic knowledge, one of Obama's flunkies has declared that the Value Added Tax is a good idea for raising revenue. This is a tax that is added in increments every step of the manufacturing process. Oh, and it is in addition to the sales tax. I like that supporters say "the burden does not have to fall on the consumer alone." BS. Every step of the manufacturing process will charge extra for their part. Most places have a small margin per unit processed. They make their profit on the quantity. That means to keep their profit the same, they have to raise the per unit price to keep pace with a VAT. Think about it. It's friggin' common sense.

I knew there was something I liked about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Well, two things.

More Draft Thoughts & Other Stuff

What was up with the tight ends? New England, Baltimore, Houston, St. Louis and Seattle all took two tight ends in the draft. Cincinnati took only one, but he was the first tight end taken. Even though he didn't play his senior year because of an injury. Sounds like a good drafting strategy.

A couple of Canadian jerkasses in California may be in some trouble. After Canada beat the US in Olympic hockey, they thought it would be a good prank to take down an American flag and replace it with a Canadian one. The problem? They also tore up the American flag and buried it. Oh, and the flag has been flying as a memorial to people who died in the 9/11 attacks. Guess they didn't have time to stop by the local veterans cemetery and piss on their graves too. To be honest, I'm pretty strong on the First Amendment so I oppose flag desecration laws. With one caveat. It better be your own flag. Since it was someone else's (and was up as a memorial), I say throw the book at them. Then deport their Canuck asses. If they can't respect the country that immigrated to, throw them the hell out.

The recent suspension of Ben Roethlisberger made character a big theme for the shows. Now, I'm a Steelers fan, but not much of a Roethlisberger fan. I've long believed him to be stupid, and I don't really think he's improved much as a quarterback. In fact, I think the Steelers two recent Super Bowls wins were in spite of him. So, if Pittsburgh wanted to trade him, no problem here. Still, I think his six game suspension was BS. Do I think Roethlisberger is completely innocent? Not really. He seems pretty sleazy and a dick to boot. However, the NFL is asking for trouble when it suspends someone who was never arrested or charged with a crime. For one, it creates a precedent. Where do you draw the line on whether an accusation is credible? Or where do you draw the line on what is worthy of a penalty? Should it just be an accused crime? What about a fraud accusation? Chad Johnson once got sued for offering a car for raffle and then keeping it. Is that enough now? We can all debate what happened in the Roethlisberger case, but without charges even being pressed, you can't say he is anything more than a jerk. Which brings us to problem number two. Consistency. Guess who else is being sued for sexual assault after prosecutors declined to press charges? Eric Foster. Who is he? Unknown defensive tackle with the Colts who will not be disciplined by the team for anything. Now the league may do something but I doubt it. He's not high profile. That brings a problem because the league and union are in contract negotiations with fear of a lockout looming. With an arbitrary system of discipline at work here, I have a feeling this system could become part of those negotiations.

Ah, Kim Kardashian. She's getting some grief for picking up a cat by the scruff of it's neck. PETA is outraged. Now the ASPCA says you can hold a cat like that but says she's setting a bad example for people who may not hold a cat correctly. That makes absolutely no sense to say she shouldn't hold a cat appropriately because it will encourage people to hold them inappropriately. This is why cat's should just be raised to feed cows. Personally, until I read the article itself, I didn't notice the cat. Kardashian has big boobs.

Was so cute to see Mel Kiper and Todd McShay get into a big argument over Dan LeFevour out of Central Michigan. To be honest, I see little difference between LeFevour who went in the sixth round and Tebow who went in the first. Except LeFevour was more productive. Now you could argue that Central Michigan played an easier schedule than Florida. Of course, Tebow had Florida players helping him versus Central Michigan ones. The Florida team with nine players drafted versus the CMU team with two.

Oh those silly Japanese. With their edible massage oil. In cola flavoring.

Hey, a Tiki Barber sighting. The ex-football player was supposed to be the big multi-media guy after his career was over. Which started well as he had gigs on Fox New, the Today show and NBC's crappy Sunday night football show. Then he slid onto MSNBC's Olympic coverage and then Yahoo's Olympic coverage. I think he's a bit player on the Today show now. I can't really remember seeing him on anything. And I never really understood why anyone thought he'd would do well at it. As a player, he was a pretentious ass. And he looks like Skeletor. And the genius left the Giants the offseason before they won the Super Bowl. But his timing is still bad. A man who once bitched about his dad leaving the family has left his wife for 23 year old woman. While his wife was 8 months pregnant with twins. Oh, and he previously got his girlfriend an internship at NBC. Good luck finding someone wanting to hire you now, you dumbass.

Oh wow. Conan O'Brien has landed on TBS. Yawn. The late night wars are the silliest news stories out there. These guys average a 1 rating if they're lucky. Which is why I don't watch any of them. But what I like about the story is how George Lopez was okay with O'Brien coming on board and willing to move to midnight. Well, George Lopez can't even beat out reruns of his old TV show on Nick at Night. I'm not sure how much leverage he has.

Here was an odd story. Florida State safety Myron Rolle's passion for football was questioned which may have caused him to drop in the draft. Why was it questioned? Oh right, he was awarded a Rhodes Scholarship and spent his senior year in Oxford. Granted, I might also question it if he had spent his senior season backpacking around Europe, but this is a once in a lifetime chance. He can have a nice NFL career and go onto regular post-graduate work, but they won't hold open a Rhodes Scholarship. Here's where it gets plain stupid. Rolle drops to the sixth round because of this. Yet, Mike Williams out of Syracuse was picked in the fourth round. All he did was quit on his team last year. Literally. Gee, whose dedication is more questionable?

Here's a story to warm your heart. A woman is seven months pregnant, but has the time to interact with people in the old neighborhood. By stabbing three of them. I think my favorite part of the story is that she "fled the scene in a Porsche SUV". What all the fine criminals are driving.

Myron Rolle skipped his senior year of football to go to Oxford. Scott Sicko is skipping any chance at an NFL career to get his graduate degree in history. Now, I think he's foolish because he could try the NFL and then go back to school. But if this analyst is right and he is only skipping the NFL because he didn't have the prestige of being drafted, he's probably better off. If he's only concerned about being drafted and not making a team, I'd have to question his passion for football.

Sometimes you just wonder what planet people come from. Some Muslims attending Trinity University are want the words "Our Lord" removed from the diplomas. Not "Our Lord" as part of a prayer. Just "In The Year Of Our Lord". Are you kidding me? And it's not like they are forcing the students to go to church. It's called Trinity University. As in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit? That alone should tell you that there is a Christian heritage to it. What's their next plan? Have the school change its name?

I do love the draft grades. Granted even the ones who give them out will say you can't really grade a draft for a few years. But you get the funny ones like how everyone seems to like Seattle's draft because Russell Okung, Earl Thomas and Golden Tate were taken at spots later than expected. So, how do you credit the team for sitting there and waiting for the teams ahead of them to pass on better players?

There's an owl in England that's afraid of heights. Chickenshit.

Lots of trades went down during the draft. Instead of drafting running backs, the Seahawks traded for Leon Washington and Lendale White. One coming off an injury and one fat. But the big trade was Washington sending Jason Campbell to the Raiders. Mostly likely to replace Jamarcus Russell. Although, he'd need to carry a jockey on his back to truly replace him. But who knew Russell would be a bust. Besides me. To be honest, the trade seems odd to me even with that. Campbell is mediocre so he's ten times better than Russell. What's odd is the Raiders are fixated on a deep passing game. Campbell doesn't throw deep. Genius. Raiders. Synonymous.

I was fairly interested when I heard there was a Sandra Bullock sex tape. Well, very interested. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Then I heard about the alleged contents of the tape. Yeah, not so interested anymore.

NFL Draft (1st Three Rounds) & Some Other Stuff

Our long national nightmare ended with the 25th pick in the first round when Tim Tebow was drafted by the Denver Broncos. I kid. Apparently, I'm one of the few people who doesn't either love or hate him. I don't think he's the end-all/be-all of nice people. He's kind of hokey and gets a little full of himself (but if I was a great college quarterback, I'd probably be a lot worse). But some people absolutely hate him on a personal level. They portray him as holier than thou and a hypocrite about his religious faith. Not sure why. So what if he gives thanks to God for his ability. I find that better than nick-naming oneself "Prime Time". And I certainly don't think his faith is for show. He's at a big party school with people trying to play "Gotcha" on him without any stories coming out about him. Hell, he's the guy who was pissed off that girls would ask him to pose for a picture with them and try to pull their shirts up. How terrible. Girls wanting to flash you. Actually, Tebow is a jerk to complain about that.

But I still think Denver was dumb to take him that high. His biggest attribute according to the pundits who liked him was his leadership, but Tom Jackson put it best when he said how important is that leadership if he can't get on the field. I'm not saying that Tebow can't become a good NFL quarterback, but the NFL is kind of a bad place to learn how to pass the ball accurately. And he wasn't that accurate. He had a good completion percentage, but one reason was that he wouldn't throw anything but a safe pass. Too often he would take off and run. Not fast like Michael Vick, but through defenders. Which worked at Florida. Too bad NFL teams are full of linebackers who are as big as college linemen and as fast as college safeties. Trying to run through them will get him killed. No one questions his work ethic so he could certainly work his way into being a decent quarterback. But you don't use a first round pick on a development quarterback. You pay them too much money without expectation that he'll start.

The most seriously twisted story of the month. Larry King is getting his 28th divorce (give or take a few). Because he may have been banging his sister-in-law. Now he could be losing some of his homes. Even worse? The sister-in-law is denying it. By stating she considered she thinks of King "like a father" (ouch). Apparently a father who buys her hundreds of thousand of dollars worth of gifts just for having sex with him.

After the Tebow watch, we got the fun of waiting for Jimmy Clausen of Notre Dame to be drafted. I'm not sold on him either. One of the pluses listed for Clausen was that he had a fiery personality and wanted the ball in the fourth quarter. Yeah? Must have wanted to suck the rest of the game. He had a losing record as a starter.

Okay. Maybe Steven Seagal possibly hiring sex slaves is a little more twisted than the Larry King story. Although at least he was paying them. And they were Russian. What else was he supposed to do with them? And now ex-wife Kelly LeBrock (who may or may not have been in other movies besides Weird Science) is piling on. She plans to tell all about him in a book soon. But won't say anything now because of their children (it's always about the damned children). I guess she's afraid the children would be devastated to find out their Dad is a pervert. But would be okay finding that out as long as Mom makes a buck off of it.

First pick Sam Bradford became almost an afterthought as they kept waiting for Tebow and Clausen to get picked. A lot of guys don't like him because of the system he played in. Which is a concern because his receivers were open a lot (although they must have stopped being open when Bradford got hurt last year since his backup sucked). Still, every time I watched him play, I thought he was really good at getting the ball right where the receiver needed it. For reasons I don't understand, scouts and pundits underrate accuracy in the NFL. They love the big arm even though the Jamarcus Russells can't hit squat with their big arm, but guys like Matt Hasselbeck and Jeff Garcia have success for years because they can hit moving targets all day. Does that mean Bradford will have a great career. Beats me. Mainly because something is going to beat him. He's going to a horrid Rams team and will likely be thrown into the starting lineup from day one.

I read the Obamas were going to be on American Idol (since I'm not even sure what day the show airs, I must have missed it). Good for them. They're hardly ever on TV.

I wasn't surprised Colt McCoy went as late as he did. I think of the first four quarterbacks taken, he may have the best career. Especially if the Browns decide to use up what's left of Jake Delhomme next year to take a beating while they rebuild the whole team. Someone on the broadcast (can't remember who) had a good point. Said Mike Holmgren was of the mindset that if someone wasn't an elite quarterback, you could wait until later while you fill needs. So, if you think the next Peyton Manning is there, take them in the first round. But you can wait on the next Matt Hasselbeck. And you can win with a Hasselbeck. But who knows, you might get the next Drew Brees who had the same knock on him (height) that McCoy has. Didn't seem to hurt him last year.

Man, stories keep getting weirder and weirder. Some guy who became an internet millionaire (and obviously bankrupt later) was arrested for a animal sex operation in Washington. What is it with that state? He was found because he became buddies with a another guy into doing it with horses. I'm pretty jaded and not a lot surprises me anymore. But when I go to the part about them having to euthanize mice.......................that did it.

Tyson Alualu was the first showing of my pet peeve - The Reach. Everyone says the Jags could have traded back and still got him. Yeah? What if no one wants the 10th pick? Who do you trade with? Sorry but I'm still not buying this belief that you don't take someone with the 10th pick if everyone thinks they should be drafted in the 20s or later. If Jacksonville needed a defensive tackle and thought he was worth a first round pick, take him with the 10th if you can't get a deal.

Some deputy sheriff in Colorado is in trouble for using his stun gun on 30 students at a high school jobs fair. At their request. Several students were burned by it with one going to the hospital. Which reinforces my belief that high school kids are stupid. After the first couple of people got burns from it, why would anyone else be stupid enough to think they wouldn't?

Oh, here's a great story from the draft. Southern Cal DB Taylor Mays is pissed at former coach (now Seattle coache) Pete Carroll for not drafting him in the first round. I guess. How stupid of Carroll for taking the second best safety instead of some guy whose production never matched up with his athletic ability. Why did Mays think Carroll was dishonest with him about what to do with the draft? Because Carroll told him his tackling was fine and he would be okay. Uh-huh. I don't see where Carroll said he was a first round lock or anything like that. Moron apparently thinks being drafted in the second round is some kind of free-fall. Hey, genius, safeties rarely get drafted in the first round. Being drafted in the second round is being okay.

Don't want any women getting too excited, but they just found a lizard in the Philippines. It has two penises. Or is that penii? Spell checker says penii is not a word so I guess it's penises. I like that the article stresses that "males" have them. Were they worried some readers would assume the female lizards also have double penises? What would I do with two penises? Besides a career in adult cinema. Probably be better coordinated with my left hand.

Don't really like the new Thursday/Friday/Saturday draft format. Just three rounds over the first two days? And with the second and third round on Friday, the first pick was at 6. Just too early. I like two long days of drafting.

Woman almost kills boyfriend with really large boobs. That is all.

More College Hoops & Other Stuff

Well, as stated before, having Duke in the title game against Butler means you have the good versus evil. The expensive private university versus..........well another expensive private university. Of course, only one team is the overachiever. Duke started the season ranked 9th in the country so they were expected to be a top team. But Butler started the season ranked way behind Duke...........at 11th. Hmmm. The David versus Goliath narrative is struggling. But a look at the past title games, Butler will be unique whether they win or lose. All because of football. If Butler does win, it will be the first time since UNLV in 1990 that a school from a non-BCS conference has won the basketball title. But if they don't, they'll be the first team from a non-BCS conference to lose the title game since.........well, since Memphis two years ago. And Utah in '98. And UNLV in 1991. While there have been some mid-major conference teams in the title game, they still played Division I-A football. You have to go back to 1989 when Seton Hall lost the title game to find a participant that didn't play division I-A football. And Villanova (1985) and Georgetown (1984) were the last winners not to play football at the top division. But all three of those were from the Big East as non-football members. You have to go all the way back to 1979 when Indiana State to find a non-Big East team playing Division I-AA or lower in the title game. You have to go back a couple of years before with Independent Marquette to actually find a one who did it.

A giant isopod. A two and a half foot long rolypoly found on the side of an oil rigs submarine. Rather disgusting looking creature. Wonder what it tastes like.

I don't have any real problem with Apple products. Granted I probably won't buy an iMac or MacBook. Pay too much for the brand. But I grew up on an Apple IIc. I like my iPod. I'm even considering an iPhone. So I don't really have anything against Apple. But the iPad is flat stupid. Spending $500 for an oversized iPod Touch. Outside of having a larger screen for watching clips, what can you do on it that you can't do on an iPhone? Except have to carry it under your arm instead of in belt clipped carrying case. It certainly can't replace a laptop for me because I need a real keyboard. Yet, here we go again with Apple nerds standing in line to get it. I'm not sure which is more pathetic. The nine year old kid who spent his $500 in savings (how does a nine year old save that kind of money) or the one who dressed in an iPad costume.

Oh, and I'm rooting for Duke over Butler. Not because I think they'll win although I do. Butler has been winning because of defense. Mainly, they've been causing boatloads of turnovers. That probably won't be the case with Duke who was top 20 in fewest turnovers. Of Butler's previous five tourney opponents, only UTEP (134th) and Michigan St (198th) even cracked the top 200. And I'm not rooting for Duke because it will piss off UK fans. That's just a fringe benefit. I'm just rooting for Duke because Nolan Smith's father Derek Smith was a key member of the 1980 Louisville championship team.

Oh wow. Dubai has put a British couple in jail for public kissing. As I mentioned before, it shouldn't be surprising. And shows one of the reasons that Dubai may have had a financial meltdown back in the fall. Yes, they had overbuilt their real estate and infrastructure (their version of economic stimulus), but Dubai's leaders were driven to be a financial and tourism hub. And they had some success with it, but in the long run, who would want to do business there if you could get arrested after having a business lunch? And tourism? Sounds like a party town to me.

Kim Kardashian was apparently dumped by Reggie Bush because his mother was "uncomfortable" about her sex tape with that crappy rapper. Has his mother actually seen the tape? It wasn't very good. In fact, Kardashian should be embarrassed by it. As noted before, she laid there like a cold fish.

Fuddy duddy time at the tournament. Usually you just have whiny reporters making a big deal about graduation rates of the NCAA teams. But this year we get an idiot bureaucrat. Actually, the top education bureaucrat who is also an idiot. Should there be some connection between college athletics and actual academics? Sure. Make them meet certain standards to get in. Make them maintain certain standards. But everyone knows the point of college isn't really for learning stuff as much as it is for getting a job. Basketball players have a limited window of earning opportunity. If they leave early to play pro basketball, then college has done its duty. Enhanced their earning potential. And many basketball players enhance their visibility to pro teams during the tournament so banning today's players (who may be on target to graduate) would actually hurt them. Does it make sense to punish today's players over something recruits from nine years ago did? Besides, basketball players are a minuscule part of the college population. Should the federal government be worrying about that small a sample? What's next? Demanding that the marching band maintain a certain level of graduation in order to perform at games? Why stop at extra-curricular activities? The federal government gives grants to universities all the time. Why not make those grants dependent on the school's graduation rate? Seems only fair to me.

Let's take a look at New Jersey. Some kid got on the speaker system at a Wal-mart and told all black people to leave. Tacky prank for sure. Except in this town where it is considered a criminal case of "harassment and bias intimidation." Want some better news? The local police department put all their detectives on the case. That's 13 police detectives trying to find a 16 year old kid playing a prank. Oh, and they're trying to get phone records to trace a phone call where someone else called and asked the store employees to tell blacks to get out. Even though the store didn't, the police are going to waste time going thru all that. Are you kidding me? This is New Jersey. Are they trying to tell me that there's not enough crime in that state? If I was a taxpayer in that town, I'd be demanding to know why a 13 member detective squad was so underutilized that they could all work on solving a teenager's prank.

Oh goody. Apparently the NCAA is strongly considering expanding the NCAA men's basketball tournament from 65 teams to 96. What a stupid idea. It's a joke that there is even that 65th team. I said last year that it was stupid to have a play-in game just to keep an extra big conference team. Now they want to stick another 31 teams in? More mediocre teams from major conferences? Just to have another round? And how is that going to affect the seeding? They want to seed each region 1-24 and give 1-8 a bye while 9-24 play each other. Which is a screw job for the 9-12 seeds. Because there isn't that much difference between them and the 7 and 8 or even down to the 5 seeds. In fact, the 9, 10, 11 and 12 seeds went 8-8 against the 8, 7, 6 and 5 seeds. Yet, 5-8 will get a bye. The biggest crap is the 8 seed versus a 9. Since seeding began, the 9 seed actually has a winning record over the 8. Yet, in the future, the historical winning spot will be forced to play an extra game. Brilliant.

Ah, Jesse James. I guess he decided that Tiger Woods' affair stories were too tame so he decided to cheat on Sandra Bullock. With multiple partners. Even worse, they're rather nasty looking. And the first may be a Nazi. But as we get up to 11 potential mistresses, a picture surfaces of him in a Nazi hat giving a Nazi salute. Woods has nothing on this guy. At least he can tell his wife, "Hey, don't be too hard on me. At least I never had unprotected sex with a tattoo worker named Skittles in an orgy." But really, who is surprised by this? The guy is a biker. His last wife was a porn star. Slumming in the gutter with skanks is not a shocker.

But I don't care that much about the whole story. Except for one thing, Gloria Allred is representing one of the mistresses. As I pointed out in a case where she represented one of Woods' conquests, Allred has lost a lot of credibility. Actually, she had none with me. I've always found her to be a dumb bitch. But at least at one point, she tried to pretend she was some kind of civil rights attorney. Although suing a store over gender specific toy sections tells me that she's a grandstander who is willing to waste the court's time and money while trivializing real discrimination just to get on the news. But now she's the attorney specializing in representing the "Other Woman" in celebrity adultery cases so everyone can see she's just a sanctimonious media hound with little or no principles.

What would the Vikings think? Iceland is banning all strip clubs.

Final Four & Other Stuff

Well, UK didn't make the Final Four and UL didn't sniff it. Who could have predicted it? Well, I kind of did. And said watch out for Northern Iowa to boot. Of course if I knew what the Hell I was talking about, I would have won the big pool and not just Jon's where everyone except me picked Kansas or UK. Helps to pick two of the Final Four teams even if your eventual champion pick blows it. UL losing wasn't a surprise to me. They did what they do. Came out unprepared. Flat. Looked like crap. I wish Pitino would take the St. John's job. Then we could hire the Butler coach.

UK losing wasn't that big of a surprise either although I thought UK had a better chance of winning it all than UL did of beating Duke. And just what I said before is what did them in. Inexperience and cold shooting. But I didn't mention poor coaching. West Virginia got hot in the first half from the three point line which was unexpected. But why didn't UK press the whole game? WVU had one ball handler and he wasn't that great of a dribbler. Even when he was out with foul trouble, UK didn't press for several minutes. And I almost forgot, UK really lost because of a conspiracy by the NCAA, the selection committee, a referee on the take and the Illuminati. I read that on the Cats' Pause message board.

I see that Jay Leno is getting the Tonight Show back in the ratings. But who knows if that will last. I just never really got the whole Leno/Conan issue. On a side note, I will call him Conan because I don't want to use extra apostrophes. I didn't really watch either of them. Both were amusing in their own way, but I didn't think it was enough to watch either of them if something else was on. The only late night show I miss was G.L.O.W. with it's awesome plots and insightful dialogue. But I did not understand all the people who were so pissed off that NBC was bringing Leno back over Conan. Really. Why do I get the feeling that those people didn't really watch the Tonight Show? That they just had a feeling that they liked Conan better? Oh right. Because NBC brought Leno back because the ratings were in the toilet. If you really like Conan better, maybe you should watch.

Shitbox. Ha ha.

Anyway, sounds like UK could be losing just about all of their team. Who could have thought that. Besides me, and even I didn't think Dodson and Orton might go too. Which means on the plus side for UK fans, Calipari won't be getting an NBA job soon. After all, if you can't beat West Virginia with an NBA roster. How are you going to beat NBA teams with one?

Sounded like a bad story to begin with. A Thai monk was arrested for selling tiger skins. Then came the good news. It was only dog and cow skins made up to look like tiger skins to fool the stupid. Well, not so good for the dogs and cows, I guess. But at least they had hamburgers first.

Why didn't I think of this? Explaining away my criminal (alleged) behavior because I was stabbed by a teenage girl while trying to entice her into a threesome. Although in hindsight, she could have just said no.

Suppose that before the NCAA tournament started, we were told only one #1 seed would make the Final Four? I'm guessing that if we were polled on which that would be, Duke would have been last. Yet, there they are. And no, I'm not buying the belief they had a much easier road than anyone else. I could look at anyone's region and find reasons to make that claim. Yes, Duke's region had what looks like the weakest two seed, but Villanova was a #2 seed in the Big East tournament which was ahead of WVU (the #2 seed in UK's bracket). But when you get to the Elite Eight, you're facing a team that is either very good or very hot. And UK's region had two mid-majors (New Mexico was the weakest 3 seed ever) and a Big 10 team incapable of winning on the road in the 3-5 ranges. And I could make similar claims about the other regions.

Then there is the fat woman. Now, I don't usually make fat slurs because........well, I'm fat. But some woman is just trying to be ridiculed. She wants to be the fattest woman in the world. After seeing her picture, I'm amazed she isn't already. But she's got a boyfriend who is all for it because he's a "belly man". Not sure if she has a belly or is just a corpulent mass. Now, I'm all for people doing whatever whackjob thing they want to do. But I cannot believe she makes money by getting guys to pay to watch her eat.

What's the problem with government? Well, a lot of things. But here's one. Too many A-holes. Some jerkwad in California wants to do away with the scourge of America - free parking. Why do I get the feeling that the California legislature has their own parking garage?

Of course, maybe the problem is that jerkoff doesn't have a parking garage builder in his district. That seems to be the case of Illinois (Land Of Obama soon to replace Land of Lincoln on license plates) where some asshat legislator is trying to claim a tire burning plant is clean energy. As someone who has set fire to a variety of things, burning tires aren't clean. Apparently, pollution is okay if you're trying to get votes.

What a strange story. A bunch of companies are saying that the new health care reform act that will spend a trillion or more dollars to cover maybe half the uninsured people will cost them money? How is that possible? Shouldn't this bill lead to magic and unicorns? Gee, you pass a bill that adds to a company's bottom line. That must lead to good things. I'm sure these companies will rush right out and hire more employees to help get the economy back on its feet. Get a clue people. When you raise the cost of doing business, people find a way to do it cheaper. So, don't act surprised when the company continues having the business done in cheaper countries.

Oh, and drop the prescription drug coverage for retirees and let them go on the Medicare drug plan. Which is why there was a subsidy to companies. To keep them from doing just that when the prescription drug plan for Medicare was implemented. Now they will and the government will be on the hook for all the costs instead of just part of it. Of course that amount wasn't part of the original cost estimate for the health care plan. Which means that the already BS assumptions are even further off.

But what the Hell. Why not trade jobs for socialized medicine? It's working so well for England where they can't even diagnose pregnancy. Because it's so similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome or the rampaging shits. But at least no concerns about drowning since they sometimes decide you don't need water.

I don't really understand the level of animosity that people here have for Duke. That game was 18 years ago. Get over it. Although I guess the Duke hatred is national which I can't figure out. I'm pretty indifferent to Duke for the most part. The only UL-Duke game I remember is UL winning the 1986 championship. So, maybe I don't have that history of heartbreak others do. But why do so many hate Duke? Because their fans are a bunch of blue blood rich kids? A lot of them are, but I doubt if they have as many as Cornell which was a fan fave (outside of Kentucky) in the tournament. Is it because their fans are arrogant? Well, they may be but I can find (another) closer fanbase that seems pretty arrogant to me. Duke's can't be any worse. Is it because they win? They have for a long time, but Michigan State has been to six Final Fours in the past twelve years. Why doesn't anyone hate them? And so many hate Coach K (as always, I do not want to spell his name). That seems almost un-American to me. Sure he has some less than desirable coaching qualities (sideline demeanor, win at all costs attitude) but are they that much different from any successful coach? Personally, I find a lot to admire about him. A West Point grad who served his Army hitch and then returned become head coach there. And is still very involved with the academy. He also took over one of the most thankless jobs out there - coaching the US Olympic basketball team. That is the worst job in the world since NBA players started being used. If you don't win the gold medal, you're a failure. I used to think Larry Brown was one of the best coaches out there. After watching his dysfunctional mess in the 2004 games, I wouldn't hire him to coach a junior high team. But when you win like Coach K did in 2008, it's only because you had Kobe Bryant and Lebron James. Seems his services to his country should be enough to keep him from being evil incarnate in people's eyes, but I guess not.

NFL & other stuff

The big news in the NFL offseason was that the collective bargaining agreement (CBA) has expired, and with no extension, it's an uncapped year. That means no salary cap for 2010. I had someone ask me if that means Dallas or Washington will do like the Yankees and buy a Super Bowl championship. The idea being that they sign a bunch of top free agents to huge one year contracts. Will that happen? In a word, no. To begin with, it doesn't void all the contracts that a team has. So Washington and Dallas already have large amounts of money owed to their players (with some guaranteed). Do they cut them and pay them not to play for them to get a better free agent? Even Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder aren't going to blow huge chunks of money on a one year upgrade because what happens the year after? They won't have any players. This is why Jones is already budgeting.

This must be why I'm a UL fan.

Of course, the main reason that the Cowboys and Redskins won't be able buy up free agents is because there aren't any. Dallas isn't the only team with players under contract. The lack of a CBA does not mean Drew Brees is suddenly available. Look at the list of top free agents. The top free agent quarterback is always injured Chad Pennington. I don't think Tony Romo is a very good quarterback, but Pennington wouldn't be an upgrade. That list is littered with backups and over-the-hill players. Plus, the expired CBA had a nice kicker in it. Players used to need only four or five years to be unrestricted free agents. This year? It's six. Unless a team wants to give up a bunch of draft picks, they aren't going after a lot of restricted free agents.

"Dogs Are Happy, Cats Are Evil." Glad to see I'm not the only one to recognize it.

Long term, I'm sure the big spending NFL teams could dominate, but that still depends on a lot of things. Namely talent evaluation. Back in the late 80s/early 90s (right before a salary cap was instituted), the top two teams were the Cowboys and 49ers who were the big spenders. However, while those teams would pick up the occasional Deion Sanders, they stayed good because they were able to retain their own players. Dallas could keep Emmitt Smith and the top O-line in the NFL. San Francisco could keep let Joe Montana go because they were able to keep an NFL Hall of Famer, Steve Young, as a backup for four years. Well, Dallas and Washington have been the big spenders in recent years even with the cap. And two playoff wins combined this century. That's because they sign big contracts to players that don't fit in with their team.

A Cuban dissident dies on a hunger strike? No way. Isn't that a Marxist paradise?

But they do need to get the salary cap back, but not just for the ceiling. Baseball's problem isn't just the Yankees. It's the Royals and the Pirates and such. Not only did the NFL have a cap on salaries, they had a floor. So cheap asses like Cincinnati could pay almost nothing on players to enhance profits. Which could have meant zero winning seasons in the salary cap era as opposed to the two they got. But one uncapped year isn't going to start a feeding frenzy by big dollar teams. But what it will do is allow teams who screwed up their cap before get healthy. For example, most people thought the Panthers would keep Jake Delhomme no matter how bad he was last year because he was owed $20 million guaranteed. In the past, they'd keep a player like that because they prorated that guaranteed money over the life of the contract so it wouldn't count as much against the yearly cap. Cut him now and and everything comes due when you don't have to worry. Based on how crappy he was last year, they have to pay him anyway, but now they won't have to worry about him getting on the field.

Awesome. Some people are up in arms over black Barbie being sold for a couple of bucks less than the same white version. Yeah, okay. The reason is the black version isn't selling well so they discounted it. But a simple answer is never a good excuse. People with too much time on their hands are making a big deal about it and saying Walmart should be sensitive and leave the price the same whether or not they can sell at that price. They even dredged up an old 1940s study that found most black children wanted white dolls. Of course, the article runs three pages without realizing the answers why the black doll isn't selling are right in the story. Mattel came out with a new line of black dolls that are selling well. Gee, is that how sales work? You come out with a new product that is selling while an old product isn't, and some idiots expect you to keep selling the new one at a price which means it won't sell? No wonder they're in academia. They couldn't survive the real world.

Speaking of idiots, there was an incident at a Washington DC mosque where some Muslim women had the cops sicced on them. Why? They tried to pray in the men's area of the place. Now I'm all for allowing religions to make their own worship rules so I'll leave that part alone. No, the real idiot of the story is the woman leading the charge. She converted to Islam back in the '90s. What a friggin' genius. That was around the time I visited a mosque for a history class. Want to know a little secret? They didn't allow women in the men's area then either. Why would you convert to a religion that doesn't allow the genders to worship together if that is something you feel strongly about? Oh, unless you are a complete idiot who just wants attention.

I mentioned before that a Cuban dissident died on a hunger strike in a Cuban prison. I wondered how Fidel Castro's idiot Hollywood morons would deal with that story. Then I realized they would ignore it. After all, they are morons for a reason. They don't have the intelligence gene. Well, I have a feeling how one of his buttboys would react. Sean Penn would go in full retard mode and declare the dissident deserved it. Hell, he'd probably say it was a shame that he wasn't killed to begin with. Why would I think this? Oh, because Penn actually said he hoped his critics died of ass cancer and followed that up with a belief that people should be jailed for calling Hugo Chavez of Venezuela a dictator. I guess shutting down opposition media and beating down opposition to his power grab isn't something common to dictators. I could point out the fact that Penn seems immune to the irony of him defending a "dictator" thru the use of dictatorial powers, namely locking up reporters for disagreeing with him. But irony is often lost on the stupid.

Haven't I warned people about the animals waging war against us? Now, you have an otter attacking some geriatric on a walk. When will you people realize they are after us?

Some dude got busted for stealing shredded cheese and got over seven years in jail. Man, that better be good cheese. Actually, it seems silly to lock a man up that long for putting cheese in his pants, but he is a lifelong criminal so I don't care. Plus, even if he is bipolar, so what. If someone like that can't keep from committing crimes due to their mental problems and they won't keep them locked up in the mental ward, prison may be the best option to protect the public from them.

Here's a dirty story. A woman was in a car wreck in Florida. Because she was shaving. Down there. Even better, her ex-husband was in the car. And she was driving to meet her boyfriend. I would say that's a dysfunctional relationship, but I suspect ex-husband is a euphemism for pimp and boyfriend is a euphemism for client.

And finally because you know you want it, the obligatory porn story. In England some woman is running for Parliament despite a long career in porn. Of course, I immediately checked out the story and was surprised that I didn't think she was very attractive. Then I read that she just produces them and never acts. Strangely enough, I lost interest.

College Basketball & Other Stuff

As I sit here with the UK-Florida game on in the background, I'm reminded how funny I thought it was when several UK fans I know were irate that Billy Donovan turned down UK's coaching job. Donovan does have three trips to the NCAA Finals with two titles. But still.............I just think he's been a bit lucky on timing. Let's face it, Donovan's second title was pure luck. Teams typically cannot win titles and their stars from jumping to the NBA. Florida would have been in the NIT if the four stars had jumped to the pros after the 2006 title. For Donovan to keep two championship teams together twice is a slim to none chance. So, would UK fans really live with a title, a final four and only one other trip out of the first weekend in 13 seasons?

Hmp. Florida just pulled within three. Should have watched more closely.

The other thing about this is that it's Senior (and Patrick Patterson) Day. But everyone knows that John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins are going pro too. I'm guessing Eric Bledsoe is too unless he completely flops in the tournament. Well, everyone knows this except Alan Cutler who did a report saying Cousins was coming back. He based that on a statement from Calipari. A writer for the Cat's Pause told me everyone in the room except Cutler realized Calipari was just joking. How does he stay on the air? Is there really a market for sportscasters who are clueless and utterly inept?

But there are fringe benefits to players staying behind at UK. You can keep getting jobs later in life because you were a Wildcat basketball player. I think Cameron Mills still does commercials for funeral homes, and he kind of stunk. Or you can be Jared Prickett. He discusses UK basketball for one of the morning news shows. Back when UK had one loss and was ranked second in the country, he stated with authority that UK could lose another game and still get a #1 seed in the tournament. At the time Kansas had one loss and Syracuse had two. No one else had fewer than three. So, he was saying that a UK team tied for the second fewest losses in the country would still get a #1 seed in the tournament. Way to go out on limb. What other pearls of wisdom will he have? That if UK wins four NCAA tournament games, they have a good shot at the Final Four? I guess he figures Cutler can't last forever and he can easily fill that role.

Not sure if this is a basketball story or a porn star story. But an assistant at Kansas met porn star Samantha Ryan on a plane and gave her tickets to the Kansas-Kansas St game on Senior Day. According to both sides, it was a "random act of kindness". Sure it was. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't know she did porn. I looked her up (for research purposes only), and I didn't really know who she was. Seems to have done a lot of young/old lesbian movies so maybe he had a fetish. But even if not, I did notice one thing. She's a young attractive blond with a porn star body. I'm sure that had nothing to do with a married father of five giving prime tickets to the most anticipated game of the season to some woman he met on a plane and never expected to see again. Hell, I'm sure no one else wanted them.

But here's a porn story with an Olympic twist. A Norwegian cross-country skier finished second. He said it was because he was watching porn too much while there. Actually, he said he heard it next door. Is this what Norwegian skiers do? Sit around and watch porn together? And how did it affect his skiing? Keep him from training? Too much monkey spanking (with another guy in the room)? Too much pot smoking while watching? I mention this last thing because drugs had to be responsible for the last line of his statement - "By the way Tiger Woods is a really good man." Uh-huh. I'm sure Tiger wants someone rushing to his defense while talking about porn. Or maybe he's giving Woods a thumbs up because he now knows how tough it must have been to keep playing a sport at a high level while spending your off time with a perpetual hard on. Or maybe he watched Tiger's Wood, thought it was really Woods and was impressed.

Well, UK won. Prickett declared the lead was safe about five minutes after the buzzer. Northern Iowa is now playing Wichita State. Might have to keep an eye on Northern Iowa in the tournament. Not many teams have Kane from the WWF on their team. But have to watch a lot of teams out there. I think the tournament is wide open. I don't think any of the top teams have separated themselves from the field. Sure I could see a Kansas or Kentucky win it all. But I could also see a probable three seed like Ohio State or Villanova making a run to the title. Or see them being a 1 or 2 seed when this week is done. But I can't see Syracuse. They lost to Louisville twice. Which shows me Louisville can beat anybody. Too bad they have a bunch of other games (Western Carolina; St. John's) that show they can lose to anyone too. Tough to put them past the Sweet 16 since they haven't put together three good games in a row of late. On talent alone, UK should be in the Final Four. Four potential first round picks? Hell, they should win it all. I won't pick them to. Poor three point shooting and freshman decision making will do them in at some point. For Calipari's sake, he'd better make the Final Four this year especially if Wall, Cousins, Patterson and Bledsoe go pro after this season. He's only got one recruit signed for next year. Obviously, he's got a shot at a couple of other top ones, but he's not going to get three guys who are projected first round picks as freshmen again. And he won't have a Patrick Patterson sticking around. And as pissed as UK fans got when UK lost to South Carolina, imagine if their unbeatable team doesn't make it to the final weekend.

I love stories like this one. The LA school district has suspended three teachers for giving students pictures of RuPaul, Dennis Rodman and OJ Simpson to wave around at the Black History Month parade. Frankly I don't see what the big deal is. This is Los Angeles, and RuPaul is the most famous cross-dresser ever. Sounds like the NAACP may have some homophobia issues. As for Rodman, he was a two time Defensive MVP. Plus he wrestled against both Randy Savage and Curt Hennig before going onto his greatest accomplishment ever - commissioner of the Lingerie Football League. RuPaul and Rodman can show the little freaky kids of the world that their emotional dysfunction won't stop them from getting a reality show. As for Simpson, I saw the reaction to his acquittal for murder. He's a bigger hero in LA's black community than Martin Luther King Jr.

This is cute. Jon Cryer called the cops because he thinks his ex-wife may have "hired a hitman to kill him." As opposed to hiring him to mow the grass I guess. I like how his ex-wife said she doesn't know anything about threats. Which means Cryer must be safe. If I had hired a hitman, I'd freely admit it to TMZ. Personally, I can't imagine anyone being that passionate about Jon Cryer to pay to have him killed. Maybe it was a drug addled Charlie Sheen thinking Cryer was one of his exes (wives, girlfriends, tranny hooker etc).

Do I think Jim Bunning is a bad person? Well, he is a UK fan. But I won't hold it against him for that silly crap about holding up an extension of unemployment benefits. It was the biggest nothing story ever. All he wanted was for Congress to say where the money was coming from. But the reason that it's a nothing story is because of the serial whiners saying people wouldn't get their unemployment checks. Please. To begin with, his initial objection just kept the extension from being passed by voice vote. Heaven forbid Congress actually cast a vote in person. But ask yourself these two questions. If the situation was so dire, why did they wait until the last minute to vote on it? It's not like they didn't know well in advance that it was coming up. Hell, this extension is just for a month. If it's so important, vote for a longer period. Oh right, now I remember. They passed pay as you go legislation a couple of weeks ago saying you have to say where the money is coming from. Except in emergencies. So if you make sure all your spending items are "emergencies" by waiting until the last minute, you can exempt them. Smart. The other question to ask is if the sky was falling, why didn't they schedule an actual vote on the extension once they knew Bunning wouldn't allow it to pass on a voice vote? He did it on a Thursday so have a roll call vote on Friday. He might filibuster, but 60 votes would stop that. Didn't everyone but Jim want this? So why wait until the next week to vote on this indispensable legislation? Guess it's not as important as a four day weekend.

But it did give certain people a chance to beclown themselves. The best was Paul Krugman who has been a clown for years. He decided to poo-poo the thought that long term unemployment benefits might lead to people not looking for work. Which is an interesting concept. The problem with hiring a professor as a newspaper columnist is that they have this thing called a history. Meaning they've written books and academic papers. Which could indicate a completely different belief from the past. Oh, like a textbook that states that long term unemployment benefits might lead to people not looking for work. As Paul Krugman once wrote in such a textbook. Now, does this mean I suddenly think he's a hypocrite for going against previous beliefs to toe the liberal party line? Nope. I've always thought he was a hypocrite who was going against previous beliefs to toe the liberal party line.

But is there really a place in politics for economics? Apparently not. Philadelphia is looking to raise revenue by instituting a 2 cents per ounce tax on cokes and other drinks with sugar. For two reasons. One is to stop people from being fat. The other is to raise $77 million in revenue. Gee, why am I not buying this? Let's face it. I'm a fat guy (but an incredibly handsome one). I only drink coke in a bourbon and coke. Outside of that, I drink sugar free kool-aid, water and coffee. Oh, and lots of booze and beer. And I exercise almost none. So, blaming sugar filled drinks for fat people is not recognizing that total lifestyle choices cause people to be fat. As for tax generation, they're idiots. I've mentioned before that governments can't estimate how much money a tax will generate because they stupidly assume that people's behavior will not change. Guess what? Philadelphia isn't that big. Want to know the people who most want this tax? Stores right across the county line because if you add $2.40 to a six pack, people will load up on soda there and take it with them into Philadelphia. Good job. You just sent your tax revenue and your business revenue to another county. And you'll still have fat people.

How about some dick stories? Remember the old Ren & Stimpy cartoon about not peeing on the electric fence? Well, if you knock down a power pole, you may not want to piss on the downed power line either. Or stick your dick in a pipe. Using an industrial grinder to free my junk does not sound like a pleasant afternoon. I like how it mentions that the guy didn't tell anyone how his dick ended up stuck in a pipe. Why would he? I think we all know. He was horny, had a pipe but no woman and stuck his dick in a pipe. Or fell on it. It happens to the best of us.

Crazy Professors, the Olympics (again) and more

Here is the hero to all college professors everywhere. Amy Bishop has been fired (finally) after murdering three co-workers over tenure denial. Not sure why it took so long to fire her. After all, she shot them at a faculty meeting. Gee, I can't imagine why she'd be denied tenure. Just because students bitched about her. There seems to be some pretty strong evidence that she murdered her brother. May have tried to blow up another professor she didn't like. Oh, and went batshit crazy on another woman at an IHOP because the woman got there before her and took the last booster seat. Denied tenure? They should fire anyone who advocated hiring her. But why is she a hero? Tenure is the protector of the weak and incompetent. But who is going to take a chance on denying someone tenure now? Just go into your meeting and look crazy.

USA!!!!!!!! USA!!!!!!!!!! USA!!!!!!!!!!!! I mentioned last time that I was watching the Winter Olympics. As of right now, the US has already beaten their highest medal count. With either a gold or silver guaranteed on Sunday in the men's hockey final, this will be the most successful winter Olympics ever for any country. Which more than makes up for the lack of success by the curling teams who I placed such high hopes on.

But look at this. An idiot blogger for the Washington Post is decrying NBC's coverage of the Olympics for focusing on American athletes and not focusing enough on foreign athletes and apparently not doing enough stories on Canada's healthcare system. This woman is a genius. I guess she doesn't recognize that the Olympics are being produced by NBC Sports, not NBC News. So, you know, they might want to focus on the sports instead of a political issue that has nothing to do with the games. Although I think it would interesting to know how many of Canada's athletes have needed surgery and went to the US for it. I know a Canadian hockey team that sends their Canadian players to Alabama for surgery. So, US medical care is not just for Canadian politicians. But again, why would an NBC Sports production wallow in health care debate? And complaining about the focus on Americans? Is this woman totally disconnected from reality? I realize she's affiliated with a newspaper which doesn't worry about ratings. Just declining circulation which they don't seem to recognize may be affected by the fact they continue to publish crap from the absolute stupid. I think she may actually be dumb enough not to know that NBC is only broadcasting the Olympics in the United States. Which means their target audience wants coverage about American athletes. I'm sure the Norwegian broadcasters spent all their time on the Swiss winner of the Men's Giant Slalom instead of the two Norwegians who took silver and bronze. Because it's only the Americans that get nationalistic during the Olympics.

But then there is some old news from the Summer Olympics. Well, it started in the 2008 Olympics but goes back to 2000. Guess what? The Chinese women gymnastics team was using underage girls. Who could have thunk such a thing? Besides me and anyone else with common sense. Actually, this article is quite laughable. The gymnastics group said one of the Chinese gymnasts in 2000 was underage, but aren't sure about the other one. Even though the other one actually said in an interview during those games that she was 14. Apparently they are not using Columbo for this investigation. And then they clear the 2008 team even though there was plenty of evidence that those girls were too young too. China is a regimented society especially among it's elite athletes. There is no way the government was unaware of the ages in 2000. Does anyone really believe that they doctored paperwork in 2000, but wouldn't have done that in 2008? I'm sure the Washington Post doesn't think the Chinese cheated. After all, only the US cares about nationalistic glory at the Olympics.

But I'm sure that blogger thinks Europe has more enlightened policing instead. And there is certainly an emphasis on "light". In England, if you've got packs of young punks pelting you and your house with apples, the police will show up to investigate. Hours and sometimes days later. Oh, and most likely you'll be the one arrested because you touched one of them while he and his friend were beating you up. But who said the cops in England are stupid. Much easier to arrest a single family man than deal with a bunch of street thugn. Hell, they must have loved it when an 84 year old man waved his cane at some little bastard who shoved him while vandalizing his house. A geriatric man is really easy to arrest. But don't worry. Chivalry is not dead over there. When a model saw some punks in her garden trying to break in, she screamed at them and waved a kitchen knife. But when the police arrived, they chose not to arrest her. They just gave her a warning that the next time she thought to protect herself in her own home, they would. Gee, I wonder why all those little bastards think they can get away with constantly attacking people.

But they shouldn't be surprised. European countries have allowed government entities way too much control of their lives. It's why petty little bureaucrats have no embarrassment over arbitrary and flat stupid decisions. The very reason I was not surprised to see this story. A British woman wants to run an ad to hire people. Sends it to a government job center. Gets told that it was discriminatory. Was she asking for only men? Did she say no blacks? Nope. She didn't want unreliable people. Someone thought asking for reliable people was discriminating against the lazy. Government in action. It's a recession. People are out of work. Let's make sure to protect the worthless. But on the plus side, if she said no "arrogant Americans", it probably would have been okay, because in Europe, that thought is redundant anyway.

Okay, I thought Sandra Bullock trying to fix up her pubic hair as a Valentine surprise was a bit weird. But now I think the art of vajazzling has that one beat. This is where women have gemstones glued to their private parts. That's a job I need. It doesn't sound tacky at all. Even though the term seems to come from combining vagina and bedazzling (without explaining how the g from vagina became a j). Hmmmmm. The Bedazzler. Nothing white trash or tacky there.

Maybe Lindsay Lohan could jump start her career with a vajazzling. Instead everyone's favorite drunken whore just "confesses" to having used cocaine and going to rehab. Is it really a confession if she's been arrested while in possession of cocaine? Did anyone think she was holding it for someone else? Well, besides the Olympics committees who still aren't sure a 14 year old Chinese gymnast was 14 years old even though she said it in an interview. Speaking of inappropriate underage behavior, Lohan spent a night recently getting trashed with her 16 year old sister. Nice to see that she's trying to make sure her sis doesn't make the same stupid mistakes she did. Even better, by doing so she blew the chance at making $150K just to go on a date in London with some billionaire. She wasn't even required to put out on the date (although for a trip to Waffle House, she probably would have). Well, she didn't actually stay behind to party with her sister. Stupid bitch missed her flight. Blew 150 thousand dollars because she couldn't get to the airport on time.

Maybe Lohan will be ready to start acting again in time to make Showgirls 3. Yep. That means there is a Showgirls sequel out there already. Although I don't expect it to be coming to a theater near anyone. I don't think most theaters play DVDs. Even for someone who doesn't mind cheesy plots and really likes hot, naked women, I figure the movie will be really bad just based on the trailer. I've seen several movies where a movie looked good in the previews but was highly disappointing because all of the good scenes were in the trailer. But I don't know too many movies that put the crappy scenes in the trailer but left the good ones in the movie. The Showgirls 2 trailer had some crappy scenes (blatant nudity notwithstanding), and for some reason I don't believe it will the first movie to leave the best parts out of the trailer.

Quite a to-do in Italian cooking shows. Shows that I watch religiously. Some old food writer got suspended for telling how he used to eat cat. At first, I thought it was some slang term for performing oral sex. But apparently he meant cooking and eating the family pet. Now, I have no plans to ever eat a feline (probably a bitch to prepare), but he was talking about his childhood when poor areas would eat cats to survive during hard times. It was a choice between eating a cat or having your children starve. Things have changed though. People are so idiotic about their pets that many would kill the kids to feed their pampered pets.

Not sure what effect Obamacare will have on this situation, but a shrink in Florida was found to have been sleeping with one of his patients. Probably trying to find all those new disorders I mentioned last week. Now, a doctor behaving unethically by having sex with a patient doesn't seem to be that uncommon. This guy kicked it up a notch. Every time he rendezvoused with her for sex, he billed her insurance.

Ski Trip, Olympics & Other Things

I wanted to live blog the Ski Trip this year, but there was an issue with the wi-fi at the cabin. Mainly it sucked. Took all Sunday just to upload some pics on Facebook. I didn't even try to waste my time with porn. But otherwise the cabin was fine. Other than the lack of heat in my room, a clogged drain, a gaping hole between two boards comprising the outer wall and that smell emanating from Phil. Nothing that couldn't be solved with a nice case of arson. But for the most part the Never-ending Poker Ga.........I mean, Ski Trip went off well. Sure, there were a lot of regulars we wish had been there, but people are getting older with more responsibility (glad I'm not). Was no unexpected nudity (that I remember) but in the past, that has been good or bad. Or both. Plenty of booze (moonshine mixed with pickle juice notwithstanding). Things to do (that friggin' incessant Rock Band notwithstanding). Lots of food by the wonderful cook staff (excessive veggie breakfast casseroles notwithstanding). Oh, and the Super Bowl was played. Best thing about the game? The Saints won. The only reason I cared? I picked them to win.

Was really the only reason I had a dog in that fight. I still hold a grudge over what the Mannings did to force a trade for Eli $hitbag after he was drafted. But I don't really care about the Colts. Nor do I care about the Saints. My only problem with the Saints is them winning would lead to a rehash of the "suffering" from Hurrican Katrina. Most communities with a natural disaster work to move on and improve. New Orleans appears to want to rebuild their slums in the same below-sea-level bowl as before. But there is a benefit to the Saints winning. I don't like Reggie Bush and now he has to marry into the dysfunctional Kardashian family.

But on to the Olympics. I've mentioned before that I like the Winter Olympics better than the summer ones. Apparently, I'm not the only one. And it's surprising some people. I saw a column in the Louisville Courier pointing out that the Olympics drew better than American Idol which didn't surprise me. Hasn't that show been dropping fairly steadily in the ratings over the years? Supposedly NBC was expecting big losses and poor ratings which I don't understand. The Olympics do better in the US, and Canada is almost the US. At least on timing. Which means that even the tape delay stuff is still fairly recent. Of course it doesn't hurt ratings that the US start winning medals early and often. That's always good for ratings.

Oh, and Canada managed to kill some poor bastard luger from Georgia (probably from Macon) and then doubled down by pissing on his grave and blaming him for the wreck that killed him. The argument was the track was unsafe because it was too fast and steep and when he flipped out of the track, there were steel poles that stopped the luger very suddenly. The counter-argument is that the guy was inexperienced and caused his own death. I'm surprised they haven't claimed it was a suicide. The guy (yes I'm not naming him because I don't want to spell it) wasn't a top sledder. But he was ranked 44th in the world. Did they not realize that the people outside the top 10 would be participating in the Olympics? And if it was his fault, why did they make changes for safety? Oh, and if his inexperience caused him to wreck on that curve, why do they call it "50-50"? Oh, because you have a 50% chance of wrecking in it. Even if he wasn't good enough to make it through there, you would think they'd try to make it so he doesn't fly out into a steel beam. How about a catch fence? Oh, and the inexperience argument really looks good considering Canada limited access to the track for non-Canadians to enhance their chances in the sledding event. And then came my favorite part. After the track was changed due to the death, the Canadian sledders were all class. They bitched that they lost their home ice advantage. Hmmm. Your home ice advantage played a role in someone's death, and you feel like a victim? I'll keep that in mind the next time someone tells me Canadians are nicer than Americans.

Here's the most bizarre story to come out of these Olympics. Joe Biden was there and didn't say anything stupid. But that is only the second most bizarre story. Some crazy dude got picked up by the Dudley Do-Rights for stalking Biden. Dude was infatuated with Biden. I'm not convinced even Biden's wife is infatuated with him.

But what's the Olympics without a little scandal. A snowboarder was booted from the Olympic village for having a risque photo taken with his bronze medal. Then I saw the risque photos. Come on. That's it? He's a snowboarder. I would not have been surprised to see him standing naked on a balcony with the medal hanging off his dork. This is fairly tame meriting a slap on the wrist for a little poor taste. Wait a minute. You don't think other Olympic athletes use their wins to help them score with chicks, do you? That sounds outrageous.

Saw a new sport going today. Called ski cross and it appears to be on a course that has features of both freestyle and downhill skiing. The best part is that they pick the finalists through time trials, but they ski for the medal in four man heats and narrow it down until they have one final four man heat for the medal round. So they ski against each other. While part of me hopes it turns into Rollerball on skis, I'm sure it's for the best that they aren't allowed to wipe each other out. I think it's spectator friendly. I like regular speed skating but short track is more fun to watch. I think it's because they are on the ice against each other instead of a clock. While you can kind of get an idea of how a regular speed skater is doing, it's hard to know when it's timed. Especially since I can't tell time. So, new sport looks interesting. I'm still disappointed they haven't added the sport I want - bikini skiing.

This is awesome. I heard Mitt Romney got into a tiff on a plane with someone which led to that person being kicked out. Now, I find out that he was a member of a hip-hop band called LMFAO. Article says there hit was "I'm in Miama Bitch", but I've never heard of them so I think it's a stretch to call it a hit. I'm also guessing that Romney really didn't use the Vulcan grip on him. But if he had, I think we made a mistake not electing him President. Imagine him going to summits with that. But I digress. I find it funny because after never hearing of them before, this is the second time in a week I've heard something about this "band". A co-worker saw them as the opening act for the Black Eyed Peas. He said they were so bad that he wasn't sure if they were a parody act or not. Although I consider the Black Eyed Peas to be a parody act, they don't bill themselves as one so maybe LMFAO takes themselves seriously too. All I know is that it equals one thing - the Black Eyed Peas are a leading cause of crime in America.

I find this rather disturbing, and I normally like strip joints getting around prude laws. Yet, when a judge in Iowa says it's okay for minors to strip at a titty bar as long as they can convince him they are somewhat of a theater, I might take issue. Right. The Shotgun Geniez is a theater. I'm sure the stripper pole fits right in when they do Hamlet. And those faux lesbian acts in the $300 hospitality suite were scripted by Neil Simon. And we won't get into lap dances. Well, I might later, but not at home. Let's just say that the artistic merit of a stipper dry humping a pole really shouldn't apply to 17 year olds.

Nor should school districts be checking the webcams of school issued laptops. But that's what one school did in Philadelphia. Remotely activated the webcam on student computers. It came to light because they reprimanded a student for something that he was doing inappropriate at home. They don't say what but it's either smoking weed or choking the chicken. I'm guessing the latter since drug use would probably lead to a suspension. But spanking the monkey probably isn't. Unless it's at school. Although I guess if he was cranking the shank in front of his laptop, he was probably surfing porn on it. That's probably verboten. The stated reason for the intrusion is that it will only be used to find stolen/missing ones. Yeah right. I'm sure no one would abuse that.

When I stumbled across this piece about weird food at McDonald's restaurants worldwide, my first thought was how disgusting all of it looked. Then I remembered how disgusting I find most of the food at McDonald's. Except their McGriddle sandwiches. Those things are awesome.

Some people are really good at surprising you. Sandra Bullock just did. As a Valentine surprise, she decided to shave her hair into a heart shape and dye it pink. But not the hair on her head. A bit lower. And apparently got the color wrong. And it burned. The surprise is not that she would do that. It's that she would talk about it. I guess she feels the need to get wild to compete with her husband's ex-wife. Not sure why Bullock feels the need to compete with a skanky ex-porn actress recently released from jail. But Hollywood types do weird things. Bullock does wholesome movies. Janine did at least six of the Where The Boys Aren't movies. Janine probably has more street cred out there.

I think Tom Cruise is friggin nuts. And overall his stand on psychiatry is flat stupid. There are absolute nutsacks out that there that need clinical help. Yet, psychiatrists sure go out of their way to try to prove Cruise and his Scientologist groupies have a point. Case in point, some want to declare anything and everything to be a disorder. Here's some fun ones that they are considering adding to their diagnostic guide. I've thought a lot of ones recently were pretty bogus, but when you label being a lazy POS as a disorder, you have gone way too far. If everything is a disorder, nothing is a disorder.

And what great timing. That story came out as Tiger Woods was preparing to give his press conference to discuss his philandering and of course therapy for sex addiction. You know that disorder. HavingMoney/BeingFamous. Now do I question the sincerity of Woods' news conference to apologize? Sure. It's hard to believe that someone who cheated that much would suddenly be remorseful about anything other than getting caught. But then again, that is remorse. After all, he may have just realized that he could lose his kids over this. That could cause regret. To be honest, I don't watch golf so if it wasn't for the sheer salaciousness of the stories, I wouldn't have paid much attention. The question is whether or not he'll be forgiven and go onto be a big endorser again. Well, outside of the John Holmes brand penis pump, I've never bought a product just because it was endorsed by a celebrity. So I think companies (outside of golf equipment) would foolish to throw a lot of money at him again. Except maybe the makers of sex paraphernalia.

But my favorite part of the day was Gloria Allred shedding even more credibility by holding her own press conference with one of the mistresses to complain that Tiger didn't apologize directly to her. Apparently she is unaware that apologizing to all his mistresses by name would take up too much time. But it gets better. She also feels Woods show go into "betrayal rehab" because Woods told her client he loved her. And she gave up her career for him. Oh, I forgot to mention that she was one of the porn stars. This is the most ridiculous crap I've ever seen and anyone who takes Allred seriously from now on deserves a lobotomy. Look at the quote from her. "He led her to believe she was the only woman in his life other than his wife." "Only" means one. If you say only, there can't be two. Face it Gloria. Your client is an idiot. And you're an idiot for representing her. And for other reasons. Do they give law degrees out in a cracker jack box? None of the mistresses attached to Woods can say they didn't know he was married. Ergo, not a victim. This one takes it to a whole new level by indicating that she believed she was going to have a lifetime relationship with him. Which must mean she thought he was going to leave his wife for her. If this slut was with him for three years, wasn't that a clue that he wasn't planning to leave his wife? Wasn't having children with his wife enough of a clue for that? How stupid is she? Did she really believe that a man who built his fortune with a carefully crafted image was going to throw it all away to marry a woman whose occupation can be described as sperm dumpster? Get real. I looked up some of Joslyn James' videos on the internet (purely for research purposes). I wasn't that impressed. She should have gotten out of porn long before he asked her to.