Beach Sex and Other Stories

Some British chick is facing serious jail time in Dubai for having sex on the beach. Not the drink sex on the beach. The penis in vagina sex on the beach. Twice. How stupid is this girl? At least the dude had an excuse since he was vacationing (although you have to be a moron to go to a Muslim country and think you can whip your junk out in public) while she lived there. But they're both stupid to get a warning to stop. And then not. Gee. Having public sex in a civilized society is generally frowned on, but in a theocratic monarchy, what's the worst that can happen? Oh, right. I don't know why Dubai can't move out of the dark ages like, say, Iran.

Well, maybe those two have a right to be surprised. They are from England. A country where a local council tried to clear out some bushes in a local park only to have the move protested as discriminatory against homosexuals by gay rights groups, including one affiliated with the council. Why? Because gay men like to troll the area for illicit gay sex in the bushes and they could be seen if it got cut away. Of course, as a heterosexual, I would probably be accused of homophobia if I ever accused gay men of being predisposed to deviant and sexually dangerous public behavior. There is a little problem with the fact that public sex by gay or straight people is illegal. So, you have an agency within a government body that is essentially promoting illegal behavior. Maybe I'm wrong that British people should be smart enough not to bump uglies on a public beach in Dubai.

Of course, you might notice in that story that it mentioned some firemen who were reprimanded for disturbing a gay sex orgy in the bushes. That makes perfect sense to punish the people not engaged in the illegal activity instead of those that are. It's pretty much how all crime is now handled in Great Britain as I've previously mentioned (and which has been updated as the judge also is a retard). The latest was a retiree who got tired of scumbag, limey brats throwing rocks though his windows. Since the cops think 2 hour response time is perfectly acceptable, the old man grabbed a hunk of wood to get rid of them himself. So, when the cops show up, they immediately arrested him. The rock throwers? They got away. British police should be so proud. They've become a squad that only seems able to arrest the middle aged.

Well, the middle aged and white guys calling other white guys honky. I'm not sure what I find more disturbing. The fact that England felt prosecuting a man for that little of an insult was worth the time and money? After all, it is England where the BBC decided to run "fact based" show which had a Muslim being beheaded by a Christian fundamentalist. Because we all know that it's not Muslims who are notorious for beheading non-Muslims.......oh wait. The fact that this country is so politically correct means the prosecution doesn't surprise me. What does is the fact that Mall security guards can restrain someone for such an incident. So, if a mugger of a different ethnic persuasion takes your wallet, don't call him a name. The cops aren't going to arrest him anyway, so no reason to tempt them into locking you up. And yet, they probably still think their crime prevention works better than here. Even though it hasn't been working well for some time.

But I don't just read British newspapers online for their latest bizarre police behavior or their next pathetic surrender to Islamic radicals. They also like to put semi-nekkid pictures in their stories. Case in point. A story about women with big knockers in England who are angry that they have to pay a little extra for bras to handle their milkbags. As a fat guy, I say welcome to the club. I'm used to looking at clothing racks with signs that say "larger sizes $2 extra". Which brings me to something that really pisses me off. No matter what store I go to (Walmart, Meijers, whatever), if they stock clothes on shelves, the big man's stuff is on the bottom shelf. Want a XXL t-shirt? Bottom shelf. Want a small? Top shelf. Are you a fat guy who needs jeans with long legs? Bottom shelf. If you're a midget? Six feet up. How does that make any sense at all?

Speaking of knockers, Miss Washington 2007 is apparently in some controversy for pictures floating around of her engaging in unladylike behavior. Although the fact that it isn't a hardcore sex tape (damn it) means it's not too unladylike in the modern era. And even though I said speaking of knockers, the only thing close to that was a bra shot as she's brushing her teeth (dental hygiene is in these days). Of course, she lost her option to deny it was her when she wore her tiara in several of the pictures. However, I think the contest officials were probably angered more by the fact that she let her portly, less attractive friend wear it. Because that goes against everything Miss Washington stands for.

When I first heard about Jesse Jackson comment about cutting off Obama's nuts, my first thought was that Jesse might be kinkier than I thought. My next was that he did it deliberately (Jesse knows there are microphones everywhere in a TV studio) as a way to help Obama by separating him from less well liked black politicians. Like Jesse Jackson. But then I found out that Fox News almost missed having the footage, and I think Jackson really does have a problem with Obama. It wasn't that long ago that people were questioning whether Obama was black enough, and one reason was the fact that he didn't come out of the civil rights movement. I think the "leaders" of that movement followed the rank and file blacks into Obama's camp. And I'm certain there is some jealousy issue (plus when you have a bastard child with your mistress, you don't like hearing about parental responsibility). Still, Jackson probably didn't do it deliberately because Obama is popular with the man on the street who Jackson still needs support from them for his extortion attempts.

While I don't believe any Obama/Jackson connection to help Obama by distancing him from Jackson, I'm not so sure on the suddenly large group of Democrats who are questioning John McCain's war record. Gee, it only seems like four years ago that Democrats were saying a presidential candidates war record should not be questioned. Ever. Even by men from his own unit. Now, it will be interesting if the mainstream Democrats start the "war criminal" talk that's running around the left wing of the party. Heck, as a Republican, McCain's war record is one of the things I don't question about him. Yet, the funniest thing about Wesley Clark's comments was his total criticism. Mainly the fact that he was questioning McCain's experience to be president. WTF? Someone who supports Obama is questioning John McCain's experience to be president? That's friggin' rich. Obama is one of the least experienced presidential candidates I've ever seen. Done almost nothing in the Senate. Spent most of his time in the Illinois legislature doing favors for slumlord friends. About the only other thing he's ever done was be one them nebulous community organizers, and looking at the pictures from his area of operation, he wasn't a very successful one.

Still, in the liberal world, it's the thought that counts. This schmuck down in North Carolina retired rather than lower the flags to half mast at his state lab as directed by the governor. Why? It was for Jesse Helms. Let's get a grip, moron. This is the problem with friggin' bureaucrats today. The lab was built and paid for by the state. You don't own it. You are a state employee. The governor told you to lower the flags for five term Senator from your state. So, lower the flags. It's your job. I'm glad they made him resign. I get so tired of bureaucratic arrogance from these numbnuts in state jobs who don't think they are accountable to anyone. Enjoy your retirement, dick.

And here is another retirement story that shows the city of New Orleans has become the London of America when it comes to police priority. You ever wonder why Florida gets hit with hurricanes and the Midwest floods badly, but neither degenerates into the chaos that New Orleans did after Katrina? It's called having not having city officials who are completely (as opposed to partly) incompetent and utterly retarded. New Orleans is crime ridden city whose police department routinely looked bad whether it was blatant corruption, brutality or the fact that a good chunk of the department fled their posts during Katrina. Yet, who do they reserve punishment for? A 35 year department vet (which means he stuck around during Katrina) who decided to honor former officers by wearing his old uniform on his last day. In the last hour of the last day, the department ordered an investigation of him not wearing the proper shirt. You have got to be shittin' me. All the problems in New Orleans and the police department is making an issue of this? And part of the suspension means he won't be in the reserve unit either. Yeah, that's great. New Orleans certainly doesn't need extra manpower for the cops. Well, until another disaster happens and a third of the force disappears again.

This isn't a teacher sex story (which I've been avoiding unless there's a new angle to). It's a teacher goes on Howard Stern, wears a bikini (I thought this was still a radio show), talk about her sex life and is forced to resign story. Then sues. Now, if she's on her own time, I could really care less if she went on the show to talk about her love for Cleveland steamers. However, her ass deserved to be fired. She called in sick to do it. Doesn't his satellite radio channel replay his shows? So, isn't there a good chance that a co-worker might hear her on it? Besides, looking at her picture, she looks pretty healthy to me. And although she's pretty, I can't see her being the hottest wife of an ugly dude. Must not have been much competition.

And here's the teacher sex story with an angle to it. A charter school in San Diego is having a little problem. Since December 2006, four teachers have gotten into trouble for getting down and dirty with students. The angle is that there were four teachers, but only three students. The third and fourth teacher had a relationship with the same student. What's going on here? Was she just being passed around or was it something else? An orgy? DP? Menage a Trois? Threesome? Double Pork Sandwich? Two guys, one cup? One in the pink; one in the stink? Two hole punch? Double shot of wang? I don't think the story is giving enough detail. Shoddy reporting if you ask me.