Stupid Robber & Other News

Now, I wouldn't advocate stealing from your neighbors. Unless they've got some really good stuff and no alarm system. Or you just don't like them. But if you do, don't be a moron like this guy. He robbed some people who lived within walking distance of his apartment. I know this because the people he robbed happened to walk by his apartment while he had the merchandise in his yard sale. Wasn't Craigslist designed so you could fence goods without meeting someone face to face? That and prostitution.

And speaking of prostitution, Eliot Spitzer's whore decided to drop her suit against Girls Gone Wild. I can't say I'm surprised by it. I said a while back that it doesn't make sense for her to sue for defamation when her middle name may as well be Eliot-Spitzer's-whore. She would be smart just to move away from it all. God knows how many hits you'll get if you google her name and hooker.

Some poll by some magazine that I don't think I've ever read has declared that Jessica Simpson has the best boobies out there. On the surface, I can't disagree with that decision. However, to be fair, I think Jessica needs to go around topless so that we can be a little more certain.

A sad story from a week or so ago. A family of three and their yacht captain were taken hostage off the coast of Somalia after running out of gas. Wait a second. What the Hell were they thinking when they decided to take a yacht trip off the coast of Somalia? Yeah, nothing bad could have happened on that one? I guess they didn't want to go mountain climbing in Chechnya.

Nerds will certainly find this highly interesting. I think it's just fairly neat. I knew Charles Babbage had designed the original computer, but never built it. I never realized just how complicated it would be to build.

This incredibly stupid story is why I think Great Britain will be the first western European country to officially become an Islamic Republic. They are becoming so politically correct in kowtowing to the Muslims that there are actual complaints when the police use their puppy mascot on a phone number card. Why? In Islam, dogs are unclean. So what? Back when we had manufacturing lines running at work, we had some Iraqis working there with apparently random bathing habits. They were pretty damned unclean in my eyes (and definitely my nose). It's completely ridiculous that anyone should take those people seriously when they bitch about something like that. First the dogs. Then the world.

Think I'm overreacting? Two British school kids got detention for refusing to pray to Allah during a religion class. I'm old enough that my public junior high still had Bible history as an elective (they billed it as a history class rather than a religion one). We were never required to pray. It's getting to the point there that Muslims don't even have to do the hard work to overcome that society. First, the Archbishop of Canterbury endorsed possibly letting Islamic Sharia law become an acceptable part of England's legal system. I thought that was pretty bad, but Rowan Williams is currently presiding over an Anglican community that is falling apart so why should I expect more. Then, the highest judge in the British judicial system (who should definitely know better) decided Sharia law was okay with him. I'm sure in such an open and tolerant religion, that won't be a problem, but I'll let someone explain why that might be the case.

A tragedy. Starbucks is closing 600 stores. As someone who drinks coffee straight from the pot, I'm unaffected. But now some people might have to travel a little farther to buy overpriced coffee. Probably not that much farther. Those places are everywhere. This is the chain that was opening so many stores that The Simpsons did a bit once where all the stores in the mall changed into Starbucks while Bart was getting his ear pierced. The story says they closed because they were under performing, but it doesn't say why. I think we all know. Competition from topless coffee shops.

A Romanian man was awarded about $800K from a surgeon who whacked his willy off. Ain't enough.

Rosie O'Donnell just said that being on The View was like being raped in prison. That's certainly comparable. Being paid a lot of money to sit around the table and run your mouth versus getting something you don't want shoved up in you shoved up in you. Besides, she should enjoy that. In most women's prison movie, the big dyke does most of the raping. Excuse me a second while I vomit profusely.

It's the anniversary of some guy named Billy Mitchell scoring a perfect score on Pac-Man. It took six hours and meant he had to get every point possible on all 256 levels without losing a life. I wasn't very good at playing Pac-Man. Getting to the Apple level was an accomplishment for me, but I still liked to play. However, I could not imagine playing for six hours. But I do like the reasoning for it. He just wanted to beat some friggin' Canadians and send them back to Eastern Alaska to screw some polar bears. Take that you damned, dirty Canucks.

Sheer genius. Some 20 year old woman in Nepal is marrying an admitted killer who happens to be 64. He's only in jail for one murder in Nepal, but he's previously said he's killed about 20 around the globe. Nihita Biswas (Nepalese for Stupid Bitch) says, "I am mature enough to decide for myself." That's certainly debatable. She's certainly not smart enough. She doesn't just want to marry him. She's helping him get released. So, she can live with an admitted serial killer. As I said, sheer genius.

Speaking of smart chicks, Paris Hilton wants to get a bunch of her paparazzi chased friends to have a TV special and give their side of the story. Give their side of what I have no idea since most of them cultivate the tabloid exposure. Sounds kind of like a younger version of The View without the lesbian prison rape. I don't think I could drink enough to watch that.

One of the possibilities for the show would be Britney Spears. MTV has let it be known that they wouldn't oppose having Spears open their awards show like she did last year. When she wore a completely inappropriate outfit and completely bombed on stage. But people watched it and would likely watch it again. Call it the train wreck effect. If it does happen, I certainly won't watch it. I think it's a disgrace that they would allow a mentally unstable person embarrass herself for ratings. Plus, I can't stand listening to her sing.

Must be nice to have an understanding wife. Some guy in Seattle was visited by the cops because he was using his binoculars to peep on the ladies next door. His wife blamed the women for walking around nekkid and having their blinds up. He "couldn't help it". Yeah, I couldn't help it that night when I broke into that house and hid in the closet. And all those other nights at different houses. I thought it was interesting the cops just told the women to fix their blinds and didn't really do anything to the guy. Probably makes sense. If they had cited him for it, his address would have been on a police report. Half the guys in town would have been hanging around outside their window.