More News Of The Week

I'll start with the obligatory story about boobs. Fake boobs to be exact. I thought I did a piece about the website myfreeimplants.com, but I can't find where. Anyway, women with small-to-not-as-big-as-they-could-be breasts sign up. Men who have more money than sense, good taste or any sort of normal life (I signed up today) can join and use credits they buy to send notes to any of the girls they may have a hankering for. I guess I could question the ethics of this, but I don't really care. If girls want to engage in electronic phone sex to raise money to raise bra sizes, it's their dignity. I wonder what the over/under is how soon a lawsuit is issued because one of the "benefactors" tracks down the girl he paid for. Anyway, I only have two questions. First, calling the men "benefactors" makes it seem like a charitable donation, so is it tax deductible? Second, later in the article, a plastic surgeon mentioned a finance service where women can get loans to pay for breast augmentation. What do they use as collateral? Their expected earnings at the local strip club?

Here's a pathetic story. Some British soldiers were on a training mission to Norway where they got naked and made asses of themselves in a local bar. Now, the soldiers aren't the pathetic ones. Granted, urinating on another man is rather extreme behavior (at least outside of German adult cinema), but the pathetic ones were the Norwegian locals. Come on, people. You ancestors raped and pillaged all over Europe. Now, you're peeved that some British soldiers got a little wild? Pussies.

The Barak Obama campaign is looking like loads of fun. Not Barak, but his wife Michelle. She's a bad quote waiting to happen. Her first was that this election was the first time she had ever been proud of America. Barak says she misspoke, but she said it in two different speeches. The lack of pride in a country where she and her husband both received Ivy League education and had big paying jobs actually didn't bother me because I've become used to hard Left ideologue who are constantly ashamed of the country. So, that's par for the course. What gets me is the narcissism inherent in the statement. It's like the Obamas (and their rather creepy cult) honestly believe that the simple fact that he could be the presidential nominee is an earth shattering event that will change the world immensely. Elect Obaman and poverty will end on January 21. Terrorists will lay down their arms. Countries will disband their armies and live in peace. Global warming will end (actually that seems to be happening already; I guess his mere presence on the campaign trail is doing that). Arabs will love Jews. Dogs will lay with cats. I'll hit a four figure trifecta at Keeneland. We will all be living in a Utopia. I wonder what will happen on day two of the Obama administration.

I may be exaggerating, but I'm not sure that I am. This guy's campaign stops are like Benny Hinn revivals. For what? The guy preaches "HOPE" and "CHANGE". So what? All politicians preach the mindless platitudes of hope and change especially when they are running for a seat the other party holds. Granted, hope is an important requirement for Obama supporters since you're essentially backing someone with an undistinguished 8 year career as a state legislator followed by a undistinguished 3 year career in the US Senate. So, hope is paramount. And yes, Obama would be a change from George W. Bush. Of course, John McCain would be a change from Bush. But what change is Obama supposed to be bringing? He doesn't really have much of a record, but what he does have is pretty standard liberal Democratic theology. So, basically, there is no change from Al Gore to John Kerry to Barak Obama. I see no real difference between the policy beliefs of Obama and those of Hillary Clinton and John Edwards. So, why are women fainting at his shows.....er campaign stops? Because he gives a good speech (that he may or may not have written)? And he's black? This guy is supposed to be the big "UNITER" for the country. Yet, he's been labeled the "most pro-abortion presidential candidate ever." Whether you agree with his position or not, how likely is Obama going to unite with the sizable anti-abortion groups out there? In fact, the National Journal did an analysis of Senate voting records and found his to be the most liberal. So, why should I assume he can "unite" with anyone? That record tells me two things. He never crossed the aisle to work with Republicans. And he didn't really try. Unite my ass. At this point, he hasn't even united his own party.

Actually, the quote about pride in America by Michelle Obama didn't bother me as much as the speech where she said told the audience not get jobs in corporate America, but instead to take jobs in community service. Like she did. Oh, wait. She earns over $300K as a PR flack at a hospital. But she is right about "salaries respond". As soon as her husband was elected to the Senate, her salary went up a couple of hundred grand. So, take that low paying community service job and cross your fingers that your spouse will get elected to office and you'll get a raise commensurate with their level of influence. What a friggin' hypcrite.

Apparently, Eric Clapton has agreed to do a show in North Korea for raving psychotic and Daffy Duck fan Kim Jong-Il. It's always nice to see very wealthy rock stars suck up to a dictator whose people eat grass (among other things) to keep from starving. What a great idea. While the North Korean peons are grazing in the fields (or orphanages), let's put on a rock show for the Communist oligarchs. At least Clapton has yet given a verbal handjob to Kim Jong-Il like the retarded head of the NY Philharmonic who actually said "Music is a powerful language in which those of us who are humane and intelligent can speak to each other in defiance of political and cultural boundaries." I can't say much for that guy's intelligence (well, I can say plenty about his lack thereof), but at least Kim likes Daffy Duck. As for Kim being "humane", I guess executing fishermen who strayed over the border is "humane" if you do it quickly. To think, some people aren't concerned with North Korea having nukes. Well, I'm sure they'll stop their nuclear program after Barak Obama eats popcorn and watches Shrek with Kim. Heck, maybe if he watches the sequel with Kim, Obama can get them to stop killing fishermen.

Based on North Korea's system of punishment, I guess this Iranian should be happy he got off with four months in the slammer and some lashes. His crime was pretty extreme. After all, walking your dog in public is something civilized countries don't condone. If by "civilized" you mean theocratic countries run by nutsacks. And to think, some people aren't concerned about Iran having nukes. I'm sure they'll stop their nuclear program after Obama sprinkles the country with his magical pixie dust.

Obligatory female-teacher-in-tryst-with-student story. This one is pretty tame. A 27 year old teacher left the school she was teaching at because she got caught sending topless pics of herself to a 15 year old student. What I found funny about it was a note at the end saying a Facebook page had been set up wishing she was back. Well, duh. A lot of male students want teachers who are willing to send out pictures of their tatas.

With the NFL draft coming up, a writer for Yahoo decided to point out the absurdity of how much the number one picks makes over the number 10 pick when there is hardly a difference in talent level. I wonder if anyone else has ever griped about that. Like, say, right before last year's draft. Or the year before.

Movie Trivia - What movie from the 80s took a lot of the dialog verbatim from the 50s disaster flick Zero Hour?

I've long maintained that teenagers are inherently stupid. Unfortunately, we seem to raising batches of them that are inherently no damn good. The latest is finding out that a 16 year old girl plotted with her loser boyfriend and another couple to murder her whole family. The reason? Her parents were trying to keep them apart. So, the two guys went into her house and murdered her mother and two brothers (aged 8 and 13). They also shot her father several times, but he survived. Gee, I can't imagine why her parents thought it was a bad idea for her to be dating a psychopath. I am glad it happened in Texas, because those scumbags killed an 8 year old with a sword. They need to fry. Actually, after finding out the daughter was waiting in the car to pick them up and had sex with her boyfriend after he just killed most of her family, I'm sorry minors can't be executed anymore. This planet has no need for a sick bitch like that.

Cook County Illinois (home of Chicago) has now increased local sales taxes to the point that they now have one of the highest in the country at 10.75 percent. And they wanted more. What I like is the line that says Chicago should expect an extra $400 million every year. Wanna bet? There is an economic fallacy at work here. The assumption being that if you raise taxes on something, it will still be purchased in the same quantity. However, when you raise the price of something, people have a tendency to buy less or go elsewhere. That's why states are finding they aren't making as much money off their cigarette tax increases. Raise the price, more dirtbag smokers quit. Fewer cigarettes get sold. Yet, every time states increase their "sin" taxes, they budget the tax revenue as if cigarette sales won't decrease. Same situation here. Sure, most people aren't going to leave Cook County to shop to save a percent or two, but I bet people who live near the country line will. I bet a lot of people planning to buy a big ticket item will definitely consider it. It always amazes me that so many people expect the government to have a handle on the economy. Yet, they routinely vote in people who have no background in economics and generally seem clueless about simple economic principles.

Too bad. Brett Favre is retiring. For now. A lot of people think he might change his mind which wouldn't surprise me. He said he's mentally tired. Well, after the pounding NFL players take throughout the season, I'm sure most of them are tired after a season. It's certainly not outside the realm of possibility for Favre to feel better this summer and decide he wants to play again. Or he could decide a trip to the NFC Championship game is a good way to end a great career. Either way, he's been one of the most fun quarterbacks to watch.

I'm sure a lot of people who saw this article about a big dog adopting a baby goat thought how cute it was. However, I see through that dog's act. He knows that goat is going get bigger. That's when he's going to eat it.

Speaking of animals eating other animals, this was one of the wildest videos I've ever seen. A rabbit picks a fight with a rattlesnake. Then he chases it into a tree.