Random News & Notes

Well, let's start with our old buddy Michael Vick. One of his co-defendants in the dog fighting case has entered a guilty plea and will likely roll over on Vick. The coffin is nailed about halfway shut on this case. I think the funniest part is that it's considered big news that Vick was the one who bankrolled the operation. Wow. What investigative journalism. This is why I laugh at Vick's defenders who seemed to think it wouldn't be surprising that Vick knew nothing. Come on. The co-defendants are old buddies from his childhood where he grew up pretty poor. This operation had a large piece of property, big new house, lots of kennels and a bunch of dogs that can run over a grand a piece. Who would more likely have been able to fund such an expensive endeavor? Some local thug or someone who just signed an NFL contract?

I bashed John Edwards last week, so I'll bash one of his opponents this week. No, not a Republican. Barak Obama shored up his left wing base by railing against gun violence (and focused more on the guns than on the people engaging in violence because no violent act has ever been done without the aid of a gun). He also stated "There's a reason they go out and shoot each other, because they don't love themselves. And the reason they don't love themselves is because we are not loving them enough." Ah, governing through inane pop psychology.

Hey, I will bash a Republican as my old nemesis Ted Stevens got his house raided in a corruption probe into whether a contractor paid for the renovation of the house. Frankly I was shocked. Based on his past history of trying to use the Federal government to pay for anything and everything in Alaska, I half expected to see a budget earmark entered to pay for this. I hope they throw his worthless, money grubbing ass out.

An 11 year old was busted in Alabama for driving to pick up her sister. While drunk. Crying damned shame how kids today just can't hold their liquor. Or remember to bring enough money for a cab.

Of course, handcuffing kids throughout the house is probably not the answer. Maybe.

Interesting story about a cat in a Rhode Island nursing home. Apparently, the people there believe the cat can predict the oncoming death of a patient by hanging around that person right before they kick off. I think they are overlooking the real story here. That cat isn't predicting death. That cat is killing people by sucking the life out of them. Where is the outrage? This cat is a serial killer and they still let it hang around elderly people. And why hasn't a family member done anything about this? If I was visiting a relative there and this killer cat showed up, I would strangle it.

I've always said I didn't want a yard because I would have to mow it, but I've since discovered an excuse to have a yard and not mow it myself.

In international news, Iran has condemned two journalists to death for apparently being journalists or Kurds or some trumped up reason. The story says such happenings are rare in Iran. That's probably true to an extent. After all, they usually administer extra-judicial means to take care of such pesky journalists.

Funny story here. ABC News had a bunch of its employees searching nudie websites looking for pictures of an intern who allegedly posed for Playboy. The funny part is they were spending a lot of time looking for her. Either their investigative journalism just isn't cutting it or a lot of "research" was needed. Surprisingly, it might really be the first option because the source still didn't know who the girl was.

Or maybe they were just trying to figure out who grabbed Tim McGraw's junk.

Let me get this little invention straight. It's an umbrella that lights up if the news says it's going to rain in the next 12 hours? Those are really precise. It would do me a lot of good when I leave it in the car.

Even though I'm not Russian, count me in.

After seeing her picture, count me out. And someone explain to me why they felt the need to take the press photo (apparently) nude.

I didn't realize caddying was such a cut throat business, but one in the Canadian Open apparently just couldn't hack it, so he got replaced by a 69 year old guy from the gallery.

He should think God that he wasn't dealing cars in Atlanta where a guy shot two employees for asking for a raise. I'm glad he didn't overreact and fire them. Think of the paperwork.

The Nature of Celebrity

I got my copy of ESPN the Magazine, and what do I get on the cover? David Beckham. Supposedly, a past-his-prime, effeminate, pretty boy soccer player is supposed to make me care about the sport. I don't have anything against soccer. I just don't find it that interesting. I don't care if it is the most popular sport in the world. Islam is pretty popular around the world, but you don't see me heading to the mosque. I thought it was very appropriate that the first game Beckham played in (for about 5 minutes) ended with a 1-0 score. That's why I couldn't watch soccer on a regular basis. Supposedly ratings are up for soccer, but I attribute that to 14 million Mexicans in this country illegally. INS can’t find them, but Direct TV can.

Now, I understand why ESPN would shamelessly pimp his arrival because they have the contract to show Major League Soccer games. And no one pimps their product more than ESPN. Yet, it's not just the sports press. It's the entertainment media. Why? He's married to Posh Spice who even got a NBC television special apparently about her move to the states. What the Hell? Celebrity status because you're a Spice Girl? A Spice Girl? How did that happen? When was the last time anyone cared about the Spice Girls? Did I sleep through the past ten years? I saw where the black girl, Token Spice, was knocked up by Eddie Murphy. Considering his previous embarrassment with a transvestite hooker, I would think Murphy would be trumpeting this baby as his own. But I digress. I didn't know this woman was even in the country. Talk about need for immigration reform. Our forefathers did not drive the British out just so they could turn around and ship their pseudo celebrities to us over two centuries later to hang out with a wackjob Scientologist and his Stepford wife.

It's bad enough with the do nothing celebrities that we have from this country. I can't read through any news site or show without these worthless tramps popping up. We just had Paris-in-prison, and the soon to be sequel with Nicole Richie (who might have been smart enough to get pregnant to gain leniency). They are certainly less than productive members of society. If they were in a group stranded on a deserted island, they would the first ones eaten when people resorted to cannibalism. Unless the others realized the meat would be stringy and probably disease ridden. We’re talking about two girls whose only claims to fame are rich parents, one sex tape and one stupid reality show that keeps coming back like herpes. Their retarded fan base does America proud.

Then there are the two bimbos who have theoretically accomplished something – Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan. Spears is a complete nutbag in just about everything she does. You know she’s nuts when she thought going outside dressed like this was a good idea. Oh, and she might be pregnant and not know who the father is. It’s pretty bad when a report is out that Kevin Federline is trying to get sole custody of their children, and it seems like the best thing to do. Lohan is on the Britney fast track as she just got her second DUI while fresh out of rehab for her first. Oh, and she had cocaine in her pocket, but it wasn’t hers because everyone knows those damn bags of cocaine have a bad habit of sneaking into your pants. How smart is it to stalk an ex-employee’s mother while blitzed? Not as smart as leaving the happy dust in your pocket when the cops show up. Did she not think they would search her? At least toss it in the floorboard and you have some deniability. Take it into the police station, and whether or not you bought it, it’s now legally yours.

Is this a problem? I don't go with the sky is falling belief that a celebrity scandal headline is indicative of the fall of modern civilization. For one, I don't believe for a second that the people who think the Paris Hilton stories are can't miss viewing would stick around for some real hard news. Second, scandals monopolizing news is not a recent phenomenon. Newspapers became big business due to the Helen Jewett murder case, and that was way back in 1836. Third, cable news channels have twenty-four hours a day to fill. Lastly, "hard news" is often not new. I've seen cries about how can the news cover celebrities when there is a war on, but the reality is that there isn't much "news" coming from the war. Is there any issue from the war debate that has not been touched on? As far as something "new", most of it's micro level stuff (affecting the individuals involved), not macro (affecting the picture as a whole). I could write the daily headlines. "Muslim from Saudi Arabia uses explosives supplied by Iran to blow up children in Iraqi marketplace. U.S. blamed. U.N. issues denunciation of Israel." Actually, that's not true. The press wouldn't mention that he was a Muslim.

The bigger question is why do so many people care. Everyday people commit more interesting crimes and have more entertaining breakdowns. You can see this type of trailer trash behavior on Cops all the time, but because they are “celebrities”, we’re supposed to care. Why are these people celebrities? Sure, these girls are attractive, but once you get past teenage taboo that caused thirty something men who drive trucks for a living to obsess about them, there’s not much there. There will be less pretty soon as Spears’ looks are already fading, and Lohan won’t be far behind if she keeps shoving drano up her nose. Besides, there’s plenty of good looking women (who would look even better with professional hair and makeup people) with no exceptional talent. Will these two have anything to fall back on? Spears is a “singer” and Lohan is an “actress”, but it’s not like they are anything special in their fields. I doubt any of the bubblegum crap that Spears puts out will stand the test of time, although I figure twenty years from now, she’ll be pathetically singing the same garbage to empty audiences in nostalgia bars. As for Lohan, she was in Herbie Fully Loaded where she played second fiddle to an old Volkswagon Beetle, the car designed by Hitler. On the path she’s going, she’ll be in Cinemax soft-core porno movies in a few years.

I actually had to think how I should feel about these societal leeches getting in trouble. On one hand, they're obnoxious twits who have had all kinds of advantages and piss them away. Normally, in these situations, you like to see them get a certain amount of comeuppance. The krauts didn't come up with the word schadenfreude for nothing. Yet, on the other hand, I would like to be fabulously wealthy without having to do anything for it. At least I think I would. I know it wouldn't be good for people who pissed me off in the past. And they know who they are. However, this brings up greed which is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. I'm already well situated in lust, gluttony and sloth, so I probably should avoid adding anymore. What the Hell. I think we should build a wall around LA and let them wallow in their own filth.

Poverty and Crime

It's always nice to see the rich and powerful "discover" rural poverty once again. This time it's John Edwards. Sure, John Edwards grew up poor. By poor, I mean middle class. Of course, he knew he didn't like that middle cla.......er, poverty riddled upbringing, so he decided to help the little man by taking 30 percent of his/her settlement. But hey, he cares. After losing the 2004 election, Edwards decided to go to work at a hedge fun in order to understand poverty better. Of course, since a hedge fund is basically a mutual fund for the very rich, working at a hedge fund to understand poverty is like shopping at Louis Vuitton to understand the buying habits of the poor. At least it pays well for part time work. Normally, it's tough for me to take someone seriously when they become poverty crusaders after moving into a 28,000 square foot home, but I think that mansion does show he can do things for people who are less well off. For example, his new home drove the property taxes up enough that some people have to move out.

I'm sure Edwards really cares about poor people, but I still think the politicians swooping in for a photo op in Appalachia is simply that - a photo op. Robert Kennedy breezed through 39 years ago, and what happened? Nothing. Eastern Kentucky is still considered the backwards ass part of the state, and that isn't likely to change. It's an area that will always have poor job prospects because of population and terrain. Building highways into the mountains is tough, and it doesn't make sense to do it in an area with low population. So, these areas are already at a disadvantage because of that, and add to it an uneducated population. Statistics don't lie in this case. Eastern Kentucky has the highest high school dropout rates in the state. And sometimes by quite a bit. The Herald-Leader called the dropout rate an indicator of poverty, but in reality it's a cause. I have never seen a poverty study that does not include include high school graduation rates. If you own a business, does it make sense to go to an remote area with a bunch of dropouts as your employment pool? Appalachia is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dropout of high school because there are no jobs, but there are no jobs because of an uneducated population.

Doesn't that mean the federal government needs to be more involved? Not really. To begin with, I have a philosophical argument. If there aren't jobs there, why not move? Plenty of people move for job reasons. If I couldn't find work in Lexington, but knew I had a better chance in Cincinnati, I would make the move. The counter argument is "this is home, I don't want to move, Momma's here, so is my steady tail also known as sis". That's fine, but why should the taxpayers who are willing to uproot themselves for a better life have to subsidize someone who wants to stay home? Plus, there is the realistic argument - government spending isn't going to get rid of poverty. The Appalachian Regional Commission was set up to combat poverty in this area, but 42 years and $16.4 billion in inflation adjusted dollars later, we're pretty much where we started. Building an industrial park isn't going to bring in industry if other factors (proximity and dumb workers) aren't taken care of.

Let's look at West Virginia. Robert Byrd has been the Senate Majority or Minority Leader or ranking Democrat of the Appropriations Committee going back to 1977. As pointed out before, he has sent a buttload of money (ours, not his) to West Virginia. In college, I read a book called The Cardinals of Capitol Hill by Richard Munson (okay, if it was my junior year, I skimmed it while drinking hard liquor). The most interesting thing was that due to Byrd's power, there was Senate Appropriations committee staffer whose sole role was to make sure every appropriation bill had earmarks for West Virginia. Yet, for all that money pouring into West Virginia, does anyone consider it a thriving economic center?

There are certain stories that about make me blow a blood vessel in my brain (and plenty of drinks that do the same thing). This week's is a case in Maryland where a child rapist's case was dismissed because they didn't have an interpretor for his obscure African bush language. The guy spoke good enough English that he could attend community college, but it wasn't good enough to explain to him that he was being tried for having sex with a seven year old is illegal? How stupid is that? Well, if he doesn't want to take the time to learn in English that raping children isn't kosher in this country, I say deport him. About halfway across the Atlantic would be good. Send the judge with him.

Hopefully, no one will think it would be better to just "study" him like death row inmate Mark Dean Schwab. I did like the prosecutor's comment that studying him would be just fine as long as it was postmortem.

The last time I mentioned the DC Madam, I said she was full of crap for believing that it would take a long time to go through her posted phone records. Well, cnn.com already has an article detailing their investigation into them. Writer of the article wasn’t too bright when she seemed to wonder why there were a lot of doctors, lawyers and people in the tech industry using the “service”. Well, duh, this was a high priced call girl ring. Was she expecting to find garbagemen?

The girls who were working for her shouldn't be considered professional, because they don't have degrees in prostitution like people in New Zealand could eventually get. Yep, higher education definitely needs more funding.

Now, here's a real scumbag. This Fort Bragg soldier was knowingly giving AIDS to a teenage boy. His wife and kids must be so proud. I'm trying to figure out how he ended up in the Army instead of the Navy. I like how the teen's mother says the army should have more control over personnel with AIDS. Like what? Quarantine? Try and get that past a certain lobby. Here's a better thought. Tell your son just because someone wants to bugger him doesn't mean he's your friend.

When I read the headline of this article, "Mayor Wants Grandmas To Help Fight Gangs", I thought it was a bad Saturday Night Live skit about crime fighting grannies. But, alas, they just want crime prevention ideas from grandmothers. Here's one. Tell your kids not to drive their kids to a murder. Just one little theory on how to slow down gang violence.

Reason # 1,049,073 why I don't wish to emulate Europe. In England, you need a license to watch TV. Not a tax on cable TV. You need a license to own and watch over the air stations. Not only that, but they have vans that cruise around neighborhoods trying to electronically catch people watching TV without a license. Seems rather Orwellian.

More Mike Vick and some other stuff

I'm kind of surprised that this Michael Vick story has become as big as it has. I figured it would be big in this country especially among sports fans. And I wasn't surprised to see links to Canadian newspapers about the case, but there were a surprising number to Australia and Europe. I don't think the Rae Carruth story got this big. Granted, he wasn't a star like Vick, but he was accused of having his girlfriend murdered which seems to be a bit worse than fighting dogs (although I'm willing to bet some of the PETA crowd would disagree). Of course, it didn't hurt that a United States Senator, Robert Byrd, ripped Vick on the floor of Congress. You know it's bad when a former Grand Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan is critical of your morals and ethics. Of course, the Pride of West Virginia (along with that house in Clarksburg with the flush toilet) was probably angry because they didn't have a burning cross while hanging the dogs. Plus, Vick was hanging white dogs with black ones. I'm sure Vick can get Byrd on his side as soon as he renames the kennels the Robert C. Byrd Memorial Dog Training Center. Now another Senator is jumping on the bandwagon and promising to make illegal dog fighting illegal. Since it's John Kerry, I fully expect to support the legalization of dog fighting in order to support a ban on it.

Nike is feeling the pressure over Michael Vick as they announced they would not release the new Vick Zoom shoe. The Humane Society says they aren’t going far enough, and wants everything pulled. I've already said Vick needs to be shut down for the season, and I don't like Nikes. However, I can understand where they are coming from. They have a lot of money invested in Vick, so they obviously don't want to make a rushed decision just based on an indictment. It's real easy to tell someone to possibly piss their money away without thinking on it first to satisfy your principle. His boss is playing the wait-and-see game, but I think it's because the Falcons have to decide which is the bigger crime: dog fighting or letting Joey Harrington start for them.

Common sense says that dumping Vick will be celebrated everywhere, but you have to remember we're talking about Nike. They've never shied away from thug marketing. Besides, the expected backlash to the Vick backlash is beginning. Let's see. Rich Hoffman goes with the "innocent until proven guilty" when he says Vick should have the right to work until convicted. Mike Sando and Stephen A. Smith both caution against a rush to judgement (and both cite the Duke lacrosse case) with Smith even indicating that even if Vick is found guilty, it's somehow the fans' fault. Well, I've always maintained that Smith is stupid beyond belief, so I'll ignore him. Comparing this to the Duke case is garbage because that was a rogue prosecution based on a single source with creditability problems that continued in spite of all the evidence (physical and otherwise) going against her. They were digging up dead dogs on Vick's property. But let's look at the other arguments because they run together in the sense that Vick is being denied due process.

Sportswriters should stay out of legal pronouncements because they tend not to be very bright. Sando seems to think that the 90% plus conviction rate of federal indictments is inflated by defendants not fighting in court because they feel overmatched. So, innocent guys plead guilty because fighting the case is too much of a hassle? Genius. The NFL is not bound by legal rules like that. Plenty of people have been fired from jobs because they got indicted, and the NFL is a league dependant upon fans which means it has to try to protect it's image. While it's Vicks first criminal indictment, it's not his first run-in with trouble. Even if acquitted, I don't see how anyone can think that he didn't at least know that his property was being used for dog fighting. Smith mentioned OJ Simpson in his article. Simpson was acquitted of murder, but in real life, he is treated like a criminal (because rational people know he is).

Then, Mike Freeman played the race card. Whites will think Vick is guilty because white people are bigots, while black people will think he's innocent because he's black and poor black people are constantly being convicted of crimes they didn't commit. What that has to do with rich blacks who commit crimes, I don't know. Apparently all the whites who helped make Vick one of the highest paid football players now want him in jail because of cornrows, not because the feds dug up a bunch of dog cadavers in his backyard. Oh, in a twist of irony, a man who normally believes every indicted black man is part of a white conspiracy, Al Sharpton, has called for Vick's suspension.

Then the NBA comes along to take some heat off Vick as referee Tm Donaghy resigned while being investigated for taking money from gamblers to affect the outcome of games. I had never thought about it, but in hindsight, bribing a NBA ref is brilliant. Unlike college basketball, you can't bribe players because they make so much, it wouldn't be worthwhile. There were so many bizarre calls in NBA games that a lot of people already suspected them of affecting the outcome of games to help star players. Everyone else just figured they were incompetent. Plus, unlike football referees or even baseball umps, they have more opportunities to affect a game. In other sports, officials have a more defined area to monitor, but in basketball, I've seen referees on the other side of the court make a call. There are so many other judgment calls that you can keep an underdog in the game or make sure they get blown out. If you're smart and keep your betting amounts relatively low, you could get a 60% win rate.

Then steroids popped up again. Barry Bonds is closing in on the all-time home run record, but it's seen as tainted because he might have used steroids (he's either juiced or ate two teammates). I love how it's pointed out that he's never failed a steroid test. Of course, he got involved in the whole steroid scandal when he was connected to BALCO which conveniently was in the business of making a designer steroid that didn't show on tests. And old golfer Gary Player insists that steroids are becoming a problem on the golf tours. One columnist ripped him for causing such a ruckus by not naming names to protect a source (a reporter would never use an anonymous source). I remember when Jose Conseco named names in his book on steroids in baseball, and he got crap for that. Make up your mind. Do you want to know who or not? There was a positive test for performance enhancers in the Tour de France, but since the only American in contention (Levi Leipheimer) is pretty far back and has a foreign sounding name, so no one cares. The biggest news to come out of that was a German biker crashing into a dog. That dog did more to stop a German than the entire French army in World War II.

Ron Mexico - Dog Fighter

Michael Vick’s been indicted for running a dog fighting ring. While he's had indiscretions in the past, he really went for the ring this time with a federal indictment. In a related note, Marcus Vick is leaving for Canada to club baby seals in an effort to regain his title as the worst Vick brother. Once again, I am amazed at how stupid professional athletes can be. Jamal Lewis, Bam Morris and Tamarick Vanover were busted for investing their money in drug distributing. WTF? Who gives these guys investment advice? Haven’t they ever heard of real estate or the stock market or mutual funds? And if you are going to invest in something illegal, make sure the feds won’t get involved. As many have noted in this case, federal authorities have much bigger budgets and a tendency to win their cases (95% conviction rate). They also like to hit big targets to make an example. Since they can’t charge everybody, they hope getting a big name will make news and others will be deterred. That’s why the IRS targeted NBA referees when they wanted to make an example of people who downgrade employer bought first class airline tickets, keep the difference and don’t pay taxes on it. It made headlines. The USDA was just given new authority to nail people involved in dog fighting. You think they didn’t want a high profile case to let people know about it?

Now, does this mean Vick is guilty? No, but I would have to get astronomical odds to put my money on his innocence. You buy the property, build the kennel, own the dogs, but don’t know they are being used for fighting. Yeah, I’ll buy that one. Even if Vick was unaware that dog fighting was now a federal offense (and wasn’t smart enough to realize gambling and tax evasion that go with it are also federal crimes), how stupid can you be to taint your image like that? Vick has basically been a mediocre NFL quarterback, but he sells tickets and jerseys because he’s exciting to watch. Getting caught in something like dog fighting is brain numbing stupid. Hey Mike, come advertise my product now. Actually, the dog fighting would be bad enough although some people will shrug their shoulders because dogs fight on their own. Well, so do kids, but good luck organizing the local middle school into a bare knuckles fight club (I know, I tried). Vick’s little operation went beyond just fighting. They were killing dogs if they lost their fights or if they just didn’t seem like they “tested” well. And they didn’t put them to sleep either. No, they seemed to go out of their way to make the deaths as unpleasant as possible. Hanging, electrocution and drowning were used. In one case, a dog was repeatedly slammed to the ground to kill it. You spend $20K for a fight purse, but won’t spend money on pentobarbital to put them to sleep? Hell, shooting them would be more humane not to mention faster and easier. You don’t have to be a dog lover to see these are some sick, twisted bastards.

Now, what does it mean for football and the Falcons? Well, it doesn’t look too good for Atlanta. That should make Phil happy because he used talk about how much he hated Atlanta. I can’t remember if it was the city or the team, because I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, John Clayton thinks the commissioner and Falcons have to wait until the legal situation plays out before doing anything about Vick. Of course, that could happen right in the middle of the season. Actually, Clayton is wrong about that. Pacman Jones wasn’t convicted of anything when he was suspended by the league, although he had multiple run-ins with the police. And Jason Cole is saying Vick is expected to be suspended by the league, and he doesn’t even mention the gambling angle which is also a bullet in the NFL’s gun. As for the Falcons, why can’t they do something about it? It would be tough to cut him right now because if he’s convicted and goes to jail, the Falcons could try to get back some of the signing bonus money they gave him. Plus, there are salary cap reasons. However, any team can suspend a player up to four games for “conduct detrimental to the team”, and tarnishing your team’s image qualifies. At the very least, they can bench him. As I said, he’s been a mediocre quarterback, but that was offset by his ability to sell tickets. That ability to sell tickets may be hampered by people boycotting his team.

Besides, as Clayton pointed out, how well could he play with this hanging over his head? Of course, Clayton also thinks that Joey Harrington wouldn’t be able to get the Falcons into the playoffs, but he fails to mention that Vick only got Atlanta into the playoffs twice in six years (this is why I didn’t like it when Clayton and Sean Salisbury debated on ESPN – both are pretty dumb). Now, Len Pasquarelli thinks Vick has been more focused and worked harder in this offseason than ever, although at least he didn’t say he thinks Vick will have a good year. Pasquarelli is a moron. No way to get around that. First off, he’s a friend of Vick’s agent so he lacks credibility. Plus, he says this situation is a “test of loyalty” for Falcons’ owner Arthur Blank. Excuse me? Does Blank owe Vick any loyalty? After all, Blank paid Vick millions more than his on-field performance merited, and this is how Vick pays him back? The face of the Falcons getting indicted for dog fighting which could lead to the team not having their starting quarterback at some point this year? I don’t think Blank’s loyalty should be in question.

I think the Falcons need to shut him down. To begin with, you don’t know how long you have him because he could go to trial during the season. As Lester Munson pointed out, the federal court that has jurisdiction over this case moves quickly. Plus, the NFL could suspend him. Frankly, I have to agree with Clayton on the point that he won’t play well with this going on. So, get Harrington ready and stick with him during the season. And what happens if Vick plays and has a good year? Hey, it could happen. Maybe Vick was never focused before because he spent too much of the offseason with his hobby. Now that they’ve seized his dogs, he’s got plenty of time to actually read the playbook. So, he has a good year. Then gets convicted but no serious jail time. With the stigma, do the Falcons feel pressure to keep him? Get rid of the problem. Get rid of him.

Of course, an even more important question is how will it affect fantasy football. Granted, Vick has long been a disappointment as an every week quarterback, but how far should he be downgraded from that? I’m thinking quite a bit. Do you really want your backup quarterback to have a possible conviction/suspension hanging over his head? Hopefully it will have been played out to some extent by draft day, but if not, it’s something to think about. And how does it affect Harrington’s draft position? If there is a possibility of suspension for Vick, does Harrington become a sleeper pick? Not sure about that. Coach Bobby Petrino has always had good quarterback play, but Joey Harrington kind of stinks. If Vick isn’t suspended but plays with the ax waiting to fall, will the circus affect the rest of the team? I think it has to. How often is an active NFL player and best known player on his team under federal indictment.

Another Thoughtful Provocative Posting

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A Few Musical Notes

Well, word on the street (and elsewhere) is that Al Gore’s Live Earth concert didn’t draw too well. In person or on TV. When you’re hoping for 2 billion viewers, and less than 19 million watched any of it on NBC’s family of networks (even worse, you only had to watch 6 minutes to be counted), you didn’t do so well. Now, most people would suspect that I think viewers were turned off by the message. Or by the sheer hypocrisy of the organizer, entertainers or the event itself. Not true. After all, Live Earth didn’t do much worse than Live 8 which was the last pointless, politically corr….I mean socially progressive musical event.

Okay, it was partially the message. After all, Live Aid was one of the most watched TV events ever. The difference between it and the last two? Live Aid had a concrete purpose – raising actual money to feed starving Africans. Granted, most of the money and food never arrived because the biggest cause of starvation in Ethiopia wasn’t drought. It was a despotic, Communist government that used famine as a political weapon. Sending money through them was like sending money to a crackhead relative and expecting him to pay the rent. Still, I guess it was the thought that counted. Live 8 and Live Earth were pretty much all thought and no action. They just wanted you to “be aware”. Well, I can’t even remember much about the Live 8 message other than it had to do with erasing third world debt because everyone I know who couldn’t manage their money suddenly got good at it when someone else bailed them out. As for Live Earth, you would have to crawl into a pretty deep cave to not “be aware” that some people are concerned about global warming.

So, if everyone has heard about it, why did they have celebrities bitching about it so much? I looked at the set lists and after every act, some celebrity (or Mr. Excitement Al Gore himself) pops up to preach. So, either you don't feel like hearing it or you can recite it by heart. Not exactly something to get the juices flowing. Another thing I noticed from the set lists is that apparently Metallica only played three songs. So, if you are a heavy metal fan, you have to sit through two thirds of the day with bands like Keane, Duran Duran, and Genesis until you get to Metallica, and then it's a three song set.

Actually, that is the biggest problem. The London show had Metallica, Foo Fighters and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (why these West Coast bands were in London while Brits like the Police and Roger Waters were in NY is beyond me). I would watch those bands (although I wouldn't buy a ticket for the Chili Peppers), but then you have Duran Duran and Genesis who I liked but not enough to care about seeing them now. After that you have some rappers, soft pop bands and a bunch of people I've never heard of that I would not want to see even for free. Then you close with Madonna. I would rather listen to dogs humping than listen to Madonna. You can't throw such a motley collection of different musical styles together, let them play a handful of songs and expect their fan bases to come along for the ride. It's no wonder the internet streams did well. People wanted to skip the crap they didn't like. You can't do that on the Bravo network.

Speaking of crap music that I don't know about, I read this article about Avril Lavigne being sued for allegedly ripping off her song "Girlfriend" from The Rubinoos "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend." The only thing I know about Lavigne is that she once did a photo spread in Maxim and wore pretty much her regular outfit of jeans and full top. I expect a little more cheese in my cheesecake. Yet, no swimsuit or lingerie. I mean, what was the point? But I digress. What I found interesting was that her flack said they consulted "the country's foremost musicologists" to decide that she hadn't ripped off the song. So, I found the two songs on iTunes, and the preview let me listen to the choruses (I wasn't going to buy them). After listening, I was reminded of Thomas Beecham's quote "A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it." Actually, I'll go farther about these "musicologists". What a bunch of dumbdicks. The Rubinoos chorus went "Hey, Hey, You, You, I wanna be your boyfriend". Lavigne's went "Hey, Hey, You, You, I could be your girlfriend". I know the similarities seem a bit subtle, but when you added the music to it, it's a bigger ripoff than Vanilla Ice stealing the tune from "Under Pressure".

Was anyone else holding their breath waiting for a Spice Girls' reunion?

Didn't Barbara Streisand once tell people to use a clothesline to save energy?

And finally, have you ever run across a song that you pray to God is a parody, because if it's serious, it's one of the most horrific things you have ever heard? I really hope the woman in the video is playing a big joke on all of us because the alternative is highly disturbing. And what the Hell were those kids' parents thinking when they signed the release for this?

The Past Few Days - A Recap

Today’s moron report highlights Senator David Vitter of Louisiana who acknowledged that his phone number was among those released by the DC Madam. Of course, that means it’s not too surprising that he’s a Rudy Guliani supporter since Rudy seems to find wives to be an intrusion into a man’s sex life. Still, infidelity is stupid enough (especially a public figure), but this guy just added on. I do understand why this type of cheater would visit the best little whore ring in Washington. Your “date” probably won’t know who you are, so you don’t get little entangling problems that a girlfriend on the side would get you (like bragging to her friends that she’s doing somebody high up in the political food chain). Plus, you can pay extra and get really kinky stuff that a wife or steady girlfriend may not be up for. Or so I would assume. That said, how stupid do you have to be to leave a record of your involvement? I have to assume Vitter’s making the admission because it’s his office or home number which he’s probably given to reporters in case they want a sound bite and could now check against the list. Ever heard of a pay phone? Why not pull a Jerry Springer and write a personal check?

Of course, it’s highly unethical of the madam to release the phone numbers. After all, part of the payment is for discretion. Actually, I don't understand the legal strategy. Deborah Jeane Palfrey is denying she ran a whore for hire business, but this gives the prosecution potential witnesses. As long as the phone numbers were hidden, no one was coming forward. Now others will be like Vitter and assume they will be found out. Palfrey seems to think it would be tough to figure this out, but how long would it take a newspaper intern to enter all those numbers in a database to cross reference with reporters' list of contact numbers in D.C.? People start admitting they were clients, and suddenly they can be subpoenaed to tell what she really did.

One thing that really confused me about the article was that it stressed Vitter’s leadership to defeat the latest immigration amnesty bill. Really, what does that have to do with this? If he had been opposing the legalization of paid sex, that should certainly be included, kind of like a Texas state legislator shooting a house thief after opposing a law that makes it easier to claim self-defense in such situations. That would certainly have a connection. Immigration? Not so much. Unless they think he really likes blonds with big hooters and wants to protect their job from Mexican girls willing to give BJs for ten bucks and a burrito. And don’t think this means I know how much a BJ from a Mexican hooker costs, because I don’t. Stop rolling your eyes. I really don't.

Speaking of messing around (or being messed around on), I found this column on Hillary Clinton somewhat interesting. Well, the line about her enemies referring to her as “Her Thighness” was one I hadn’t heard and was pretty funny. Actually, the interesting part was saying women were questioning her “authenticity”. What? Do they think she has a wang? It would explain why Bill Clinton was laying pipe all around the country, although having Hillary as a wife (even if she's a woman) explained that. Yet, it still wouldn’t explain Chelsea.

CRAP.

Should I feel bad that this Pakistani religious leader was killed inside his mosque by security forces? Well, considering the fact that his followers supported the Taliban, kidnapped people off the street, turned a women’s religious school into an armed compound and used young children as human shields, I can’t say that I’m too sorry about that. Well, at least he wasn't caught in an embarrassing situation like his transvestite brother.

I've mentioned before that I think a journalism degree doesn't indicate any level of intelligence (and often a lack of). I was in Louisville when the police chief held a press conference to talk about the discovery of a missing child in a garbage truck. The chief had just finished explaining that the child was in a garbage bag as a way to explain why he wasn't noticed in the garbage can before being dumped. A reporter then asked if he thought the boy had been put there or could he have possibly climbed into the garbage can. How stupid can someone be? I'm sure a four year old would always think to tie themselves into a trash bag before diving into a trash can.

Of course, stupid actions trump stupid words as a reporter from a Chicago news station had to quit after a video was made showing her at pool party at the home of a missing woman. Whose story she had been covering. And hosted by the husband who is a prime suspect. But, hey, as far as we know, she's just hanging around someone she's covering while wearing a bikini. It's not like she's sleeping with him. What journalist would do that?

According to the radio on my drive home, there's a baseball game tonight. Supposedly the All-Star Game, but the fact that they have to put a Tampa Devil Ray on the squad tells a different tale. I could not believe it when I read that Tampa has lost at least 91 games every season of their existence. Upon further checking, their best season was the 70-91 team in 2004 that is also the only Tampa team not to finish in fifth place (commonly referred to as dead last) in their division. They finished fourth. Actually, I'm a little sick of hearing how the baseball All-Star Game is the "only All Star game that matters" because the league that wins gets home field advantage in the World Series. Well, duh. No other professional league would be dumb enough to do that. NFL players are just trying not to get hurt in the Pro Bowl. NBA players don't want to play defense. The MLB All Stars do play for something, but they shouldn't. It's been mentioned many times by many people, but there seems to be something wrong with a team getting home field based on an exhibition game. Especially when no team has more than five players on an All Star roster. Of course, the old way was almost as bad when they just alternated each year. With interleague play, just use the normal practice and the team with the better overall record gets home field advantage. Though, since it's baseball, I won't be watching anyway.

News And Notes

Another day, another terrorist attack. After some in Iraq, Afghanistan, Thailand, Indonesia, Lebanon......I could go on, but now they are back in England. And an Associated Press writer shows common sense is not part of the job description as he wonders what the connection could be. Mohammed Asha, Muhammad Haneef, Sabeel Ahmed, Khalid Ahmed, Bilal Abdulla? I caught the connection pretty quick, but it took Ben McConville about 21 paragraphs to mention there might be a Muslim connection. Of course, it doesn't help that the new British Prime Minister, Robert Brown, has stuck his head in the sand and told his ministers not to mention the fact that the terrorists are Muslim. Just because they are Muslims and radical Islam is most likely the main factor in their decision to try to kill a bunch of club hoppers and Scottish tourists is no reason to mention that. I guess people shouldn't mention that most Ku Klux Klansmen are white, because we don't want to offend white people who aren't in the Ku Klux Klan.

Now, I certainly won't give Brown the trophy for the most clueless when it comes to Islam. Not after reading about an Episcopal pastor who converted to Islam, but yet continues to be an Episcopal priest. It's one thing to have interfaith dialog, but this is flat retarded. As one theologian mentioned in the article, the status of Christ in the two religions means they aren't compatible. She can get away with that in Seattle, but I'd really like to see her go to Saudi Arabia and mention that she's a Muslim for Jesus.

On a lighter note, a man in Sweden is getting partial disability because he's a heavy metal music fan. He's 42 years old and can only get a job washing dishes? I didn't realize being a loser was a disability.

So sad. Al Gore's son and namesake was just busted for getting loaded on weed, driving 100 mph and carrying a personal pharmacy in his Prius. I'm sure his father was proud that he was driving a hybrid when caught because it's good advertising. I didn't think a Prius could do 100. Of course, doing 100 mph does lessen your gas mileage. I find the most interesting item to be that he was busted with an anti-depressant and ADD drug that he didn't have a prescription for. Granted, if my parents were Al and Tipper Gore, I would probably be depressed and unable to pay attention.

Speaking of weed, we just had a recent revelation that Dirk Minnifield smoked pot the night before the original Dream Game, and he thinks it cost UK the game especially after he passed up a dunk late in the game in favor of short jumper which was deflected by Charles Jones of Louisville. UK went on to lose in overtime. Now, to begin with, I'm like everyone else - shocked, absolutely shocked to find out a college kid was smoking pot. Now, the question is whether or not it affected his play. Maybe for his career. I know Billy Thompson had drug problems his first three years at Louisville when he was viewed as an underachiever. He got clean his senior year when UL won it all. Now, did the one night of pot hurt Minnifield for the Dream Game? Beats me. I've never smoked pot so I don't know how you feel the next day. I do know a hangover would affect him (or so I've been told about these hangover things), but I've always been told the advantage of pot over alcohol is no hangover with pot. Besides, I heard for years he was toking up all through high school and college. Does anyone really think this was the first game he smoked pot the night before? And Billy Thompson was on that UL team, so it wouldn't surprise me if some UL players weren't out in the parking lot with Minnifield. Minnifield was a great dunker, but Bozich is definitely right about one thing, Charles Jones was not an easy man to dunk on. Claiming your drug habit cost your team the game almost a quarter of century later is a bit much.

I really don't care about the New York Yankees. For one, it's baseball. Two, it's baseball. However, I have to chuckle about the recent escapades of the Alex Rodriguez soap opera. First, he gets caught on camera with some blond stripper with big knockers in Toronto while the wife was back in New York. And apparently, he was followed all over the city by the photographer and still took the woman back to his hotel. Genius. Now, his wife is wearing a shirt to a recent Yankees' game with "F--k you" printed on the back. Not sure why that's a scandal. Should fit right in at a New York baseball game. And supposedly, she's not all that mad about the infidelity thing (which makes me think he's got a good pre-nup). After all, it wasn't like he was playing golf in Pennsylvania.

Still, it doesn't have near the shock value of the two women getting it on in the bathroom at a public pool with kids all around. Oh, and another woman was taping it. You know there is a time and a place for everything. This doesn't seem to be the right time or place for something like that. Of course, if the bystander who wandered in wanted to make them stop, she should have gone into a stall and took a dump with lots of loud grunting. That's a mood killer right there. At least I hope it is.

I wonder if any of those women who like taking their clothes off in public are going to make the big time. You know, pictures in the top of a pizza box. Nothing says sexy like porn on a greasy cardboard box. Don't they have the internet in Canada?

Happy Birthday America

Actually, it's not really America's birthday. At least not in the sense of what we are today. America's birthday should really be when the ninth state ratified the Constitution (NH June 21, 1788). That's what made this a country rather than a bunch of little countries in semi-union as it was under the Articles of Confederation. To be truthful, I don't even consider it to be the true "Independence Day". Sure, they passed the final draft of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, but that didn't really change anything from a rebellion to independence. It wasn't until Cornwallis' surrender at Yorktown that the colonies were recognized as no longer being part of England. And that's your history lesson for today. Still a good time for a day off.

This Myspace Thing

I've been trying to figure out something ever since I read that Myspace is the sixth most popular website - how does it turn a profit? I assume it must be profitable because News Corporation spent a ton of money on it and Rupert Murdoch doesn't like to lose money on anything. Yet, I look at the pages and there is advertising which has to be worth quite a bit due to over 100 million users, but how many people click on that crap? Yet this thing has to cost a ton to run. It's got to have memory space and servers for over 100 million sites. There has to be some licensing for some of the music and videos. Paying a few hundred people to run it. That adds up.

Yet, it seems to have avoided one type of advertising yet still annoys with it. I got a small glimmer into Myspace the normal way. Some girl in your group at a bar is taking pictures and says she's putting them on her Myspace page. You go to make sure that there isn't a picture of me looking stupid (always a concerns for many of us), and you have to be registered to look at pictures. So, you try to register under your name, but it isn't available so you set up an email address based on your brand of bourbon and register under that name. You need a picture so you grab one off your hard drive, say a picture of a Denny Crum bobblehead. Add some personal information that may or may not be true. Write up a small blurb of stupid crap. Or as is often in my case, a long rambling blurb of stupid crap. So, now you're registered so you can look at the pictures. You look at the pictures and promptly forget that you even set the damned thing up.

You forget until much later when you're voting for something that uses email addresses to limit it. You're trying to maximize your voting and you remember the bourbon email address. And when you check it, it's still active (as is the Myspace page). Why is it still active? Because a bunch of strippers and two bit porn actresses wanted to be your friend. So, you're being spammed without Myspace being paid for it (supposedly). In fact, Myspace is subsidizing it. Doesn't seem like a solid business plan.