The Past Few Days - A Recap

Today’s moron report highlights Senator David Vitter of Louisiana who acknowledged that his phone number was among those released by the DC Madam. Of course, that means it’s not too surprising that he’s a Rudy Guliani supporter since Rudy seems to find wives to be an intrusion into a man’s sex life. Still, infidelity is stupid enough (especially a public figure), but this guy just added on. I do understand why this type of cheater would visit the best little whore ring in Washington. Your “date” probably won’t know who you are, so you don’t get little entangling problems that a girlfriend on the side would get you (like bragging to her friends that she’s doing somebody high up in the political food chain). Plus, you can pay extra and get really kinky stuff that a wife or steady girlfriend may not be up for. Or so I would assume. That said, how stupid do you have to be to leave a record of your involvement? I have to assume Vitter’s making the admission because it’s his office or home number which he’s probably given to reporters in case they want a sound bite and could now check against the list. Ever heard of a pay phone? Why not pull a Jerry Springer and write a personal check?

Of course, it’s highly unethical of the madam to release the phone numbers. After all, part of the payment is for discretion. Actually, I don't understand the legal strategy. Deborah Jeane Palfrey is denying she ran a whore for hire business, but this gives the prosecution potential witnesses. As long as the phone numbers were hidden, no one was coming forward. Now others will be like Vitter and assume they will be found out. Palfrey seems to think it would be tough to figure this out, but how long would it take a newspaper intern to enter all those numbers in a database to cross reference with reporters' list of contact numbers in D.C.? People start admitting they were clients, and suddenly they can be subpoenaed to tell what she really did.

One thing that really confused me about the article was that it stressed Vitter’s leadership to defeat the latest immigration amnesty bill. Really, what does that have to do with this? If he had been opposing the legalization of paid sex, that should certainly be included, kind of like a Texas state legislator shooting a house thief after opposing a law that makes it easier to claim self-defense in such situations. That would certainly have a connection. Immigration? Not so much. Unless they think he really likes blonds with big hooters and wants to protect their job from Mexican girls willing to give BJs for ten bucks and a burrito. And don’t think this means I know how much a BJ from a Mexican hooker costs, because I don’t. Stop rolling your eyes. I really don't.

Speaking of messing around (or being messed around on), I found this column on Hillary Clinton somewhat interesting. Well, the line about her enemies referring to her as “Her Thighness” was one I hadn’t heard and was pretty funny. Actually, the interesting part was saying women were questioning her “authenticity”. What? Do they think she has a wang? It would explain why Bill Clinton was laying pipe all around the country, although having Hillary as a wife (even if she's a woman) explained that. Yet, it still wouldn’t explain Chelsea.

CRAP.

Should I feel bad that this Pakistani religious leader was killed inside his mosque by security forces? Well, considering the fact that his followers supported the Taliban, kidnapped people off the street, turned a women’s religious school into an armed compound and used young children as human shields, I can’t say that I’m too sorry about that. Well, at least he wasn't caught in an embarrassing situation like his transvestite brother.

I've mentioned before that I think a journalism degree doesn't indicate any level of intelligence (and often a lack of). I was in Louisville when the police chief held a press conference to talk about the discovery of a missing child in a garbage truck. The chief had just finished explaining that the child was in a garbage bag as a way to explain why he wasn't noticed in the garbage can before being dumped. A reporter then asked if he thought the boy had been put there or could he have possibly climbed into the garbage can. How stupid can someone be? I'm sure a four year old would always think to tie themselves into a trash bag before diving into a trash can.

Of course, stupid actions trump stupid words as a reporter from a Chicago news station had to quit after a video was made showing her at pool party at the home of a missing woman. Whose story she had been covering. And hosted by the husband who is a prime suspect. But, hey, as far as we know, she's just hanging around someone she's covering while wearing a bikini. It's not like she's sleeping with him. What journalist would do that?

According to the radio on my drive home, there's a baseball game tonight. Supposedly the All-Star Game, but the fact that they have to put a Tampa Devil Ray on the squad tells a different tale. I could not believe it when I read that Tampa has lost at least 91 games every season of their existence. Upon further checking, their best season was the 70-91 team in 2004 that is also the only Tampa team not to finish in fifth place (commonly referred to as dead last) in their division. They finished fourth. Actually, I'm a little sick of hearing how the baseball All-Star Game is the "only All Star game that matters" because the league that wins gets home field advantage in the World Series. Well, duh. No other professional league would be dumb enough to do that. NFL players are just trying not to get hurt in the Pro Bowl. NBA players don't want to play defense. The MLB All Stars do play for something, but they shouldn't. It's been mentioned many times by many people, but there seems to be something wrong with a team getting home field based on an exhibition game. Especially when no team has more than five players on an All Star roster. Of course, the old way was almost as bad when they just alternated each year. With interleague play, just use the normal practice and the team with the better overall record gets home field advantage. Though, since it's baseball, I won't be watching anyway.