A Few Musical Notes

Well, word on the street (and elsewhere) is that Al Gore’s Live Earth concert didn’t draw too well. In person or on TV. When you’re hoping for 2 billion viewers, and less than 19 million watched any of it on NBC’s family of networks (even worse, you only had to watch 6 minutes to be counted), you didn’t do so well. Now, most people would suspect that I think viewers were turned off by the message. Or by the sheer hypocrisy of the organizer, entertainers or the event itself. Not true. After all, Live Earth didn’t do much worse than Live 8 which was the last pointless, politically corr….I mean socially progressive musical event.

Okay, it was partially the message. After all, Live Aid was one of the most watched TV events ever. The difference between it and the last two? Live Aid had a concrete purpose – raising actual money to feed starving Africans. Granted, most of the money and food never arrived because the biggest cause of starvation in Ethiopia wasn’t drought. It was a despotic, Communist government that used famine as a political weapon. Sending money through them was like sending money to a crackhead relative and expecting him to pay the rent. Still, I guess it was the thought that counted. Live 8 and Live Earth were pretty much all thought and no action. They just wanted you to “be aware”. Well, I can’t even remember much about the Live 8 message other than it had to do with erasing third world debt because everyone I know who couldn’t manage their money suddenly got good at it when someone else bailed them out. As for Live Earth, you would have to crawl into a pretty deep cave to not “be aware” that some people are concerned about global warming.

So, if everyone has heard about it, why did they have celebrities bitching about it so much? I looked at the set lists and after every act, some celebrity (or Mr. Excitement Al Gore himself) pops up to preach. So, either you don't feel like hearing it or you can recite it by heart. Not exactly something to get the juices flowing. Another thing I noticed from the set lists is that apparently Metallica only played three songs. So, if you are a heavy metal fan, you have to sit through two thirds of the day with bands like Keane, Duran Duran, and Genesis until you get to Metallica, and then it's a three song set.

Actually, that is the biggest problem. The London show had Metallica, Foo Fighters and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (why these West Coast bands were in London while Brits like the Police and Roger Waters were in NY is beyond me). I would watch those bands (although I wouldn't buy a ticket for the Chili Peppers), but then you have Duran Duran and Genesis who I liked but not enough to care about seeing them now. After that you have some rappers, soft pop bands and a bunch of people I've never heard of that I would not want to see even for free. Then you close with Madonna. I would rather listen to dogs humping than listen to Madonna. You can't throw such a motley collection of different musical styles together, let them play a handful of songs and expect their fan bases to come along for the ride. It's no wonder the internet streams did well. People wanted to skip the crap they didn't like. You can't do that on the Bravo network.

Speaking of crap music that I don't know about, I read this article about Avril Lavigne being sued for allegedly ripping off her song "Girlfriend" from The Rubinoos "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend." The only thing I know about Lavigne is that she once did a photo spread in Maxim and wore pretty much her regular outfit of jeans and full top. I expect a little more cheese in my cheesecake. Yet, no swimsuit or lingerie. I mean, what was the point? But I digress. What I found interesting was that her flack said they consulted "the country's foremost musicologists" to decide that she hadn't ripped off the song. So, I found the two songs on iTunes, and the preview let me listen to the choruses (I wasn't going to buy them). After listening, I was reminded of Thomas Beecham's quote "A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it." Actually, I'll go farther about these "musicologists". What a bunch of dumbdicks. The Rubinoos chorus went "Hey, Hey, You, You, I wanna be your boyfriend". Lavigne's went "Hey, Hey, You, You, I could be your girlfriend". I know the similarities seem a bit subtle, but when you added the music to it, it's a bigger ripoff than Vanilla Ice stealing the tune from "Under Pressure".

Was anyone else holding their breath waiting for a Spice Girls' reunion?

Didn't Barbara Streisand once tell people to use a clothesline to save energy?

And finally, have you ever run across a song that you pray to God is a parody, because if it's serious, it's one of the most horrific things you have ever heard? I really hope the woman in the video is playing a big joke on all of us because the alternative is highly disturbing. And what the Hell were those kids' parents thinking when they signed the release for this?