Damned NBC & Other News

Here's the biggest problem with the NBC Olympic coverage. During the overnight and early day, they may have events on NBC, USA Network, CNBC, MSNBC, Telemundo and Oxygen (and no, I didn't add Telemundo and Oxygen to be funny). Yet, during prime time, they stick with NBC only. That means if I want to watch swimming, I have to sit through gymnastics. I'll give gymnasts credit. What they do is incredibly hard. I still haven't figured out how they can do have the high bar or rings stuff without yanking joints out of their socket (weightlifting has that covered). Still, why do I want to watch a "sport" that has an incomprehensible scoring system? I would explain it, but I can't. It's almost like you get degree of difficulty points before you even try it which means flubbing a hard attempt may still get you more points than someone who did something more mundane.

Now, the big controversy with women's gymnastics is that for the Chinese, it isn't really women's gymnastics. It's not even young lady gymnastics. Preteen gymnastics may be the better term. Accusations are flying that the Chinese were using gymnasts under the minimum age of 16. OMG. The Chinese might be cheating? Who would have thought that? And funny. Previous Chinese news articles seem to flat out say that the girls have somehow aged three years in only months. Gotta love the quote from the coach that says the government owned media would have no idea how old the government owned gymnasts were. I guess they just randomly picked ages. But don't worry. The International Gymnastics Federation is on it. A totalitarian government with a history of cheating in international athletics has given them passports for the childre..........I mean teens. Those would be impossible to fake. Just because China has done this before is no reason to assume they'd do it at an Olympics when winning the most gold medals is a point of national pride. That'd be silly. Dan Wetzel thinks the IOC needs to do a real investigation (ain't gonna happen) in order to maintain any credibility. He also seems to recognize (as I have) that we're already beyond them having any credibility.

Let's be serious. I don't normally watch women's gymnastics. I may be a pervert but sexualized girls too young to drive aren't my thing. However, while waiting for one of the swimming events, I caught part of the team all around and thought two things. One, if the U.S. and Chinese were the two best, that's sad. It was a match to see who screwed up the least. I've been drunk and looked steadier than the girls from both teams did on the balance beam. Two, I didn't know there was an age requirement and my first thought about the Chinese team was they had a bunch 0f 12 year olds. I didn't think that when I looked at any other squad. Even worse is the fact that the commentators mentioned (without a hint of disapproval which shows how much NBC is bowing and scraping to the Chinese) that three year olds who seem to have gymnastic skills are recruited (ripped from their homes) and sent to special sports academies (gulags). Whether they want to or not. But I'm sure veritable serfdom is part of the Olympic ideal.

China has lots of problems with exploiting children. Another controversy was the news that the cute little girl who sang some song that I didn't see because I skipped the opening ceremony didn't really sing. She was lip syncing to another little girl who was deemed too fat and ugly to be seen. So, they told one that her singing sucked and the other would make viewers ill if she was seen. Classy. I like how the ugly one said it was just an honor to sing. Sure it was. Plus, if she said anything else, Daddy is shipped off to a work camp.

NBC is probably making a lot of money with a pedophile fan base. Like this guy who was busted for trying to hook up with (what he thought was) a 14 year old girl. While wearing a shirt that said "World's Greatest Dad". Best part? They aren't even sure he has children. But maybe he does. Maybe he was thinking about them. Maybe they want a new mommy and he decided to get them one that they could relate to. Or maybe he likes porking teenagers.

But let's give some equal time to the women perverts. A baby sitter has been arrested for having sex with one of her charges. A 14 year old boy. I'm trying to figure out how big a dumbass you have to be to still have a baby sitter at age 14.

But enough about underage types. Let's talk about women. Specifically those with breasts. Big heaving breasts. Cracked did a list of "The 6 Most Gratuitously Cleavaged Women On TV". First thought questioned whether it could ever be gratuitous. Until I saw that Mrs. Garrett was on the list, and had to agree. And I never watched Ghost Whisperer because the plot seemed...well, stupid. However, if Jennifer Love Hewitt is running around in a bra, I may have to check it out. Or record it so I can fast forward to parts where she's running around in a bra.

I think the Telegraph could have used a gratuitous cleavage picture for this story about German policewomen being issued bulletproof bras. What? They couldn't find a big titted Teutonic cop to pose for a picture wearing it? What I found most interesting thing about the story is it mentioned their normal bullet proof vests do stop the bullets, but regular bras had plastic and metal that poked the women when the vest got hit. Are that many German policewomen getting shot?

This breast story is even worse. Some professor at Iowa was arrested for improving coed grades if they'd let him motor boat their knockers. Yeah, bet attractive big busted women often struggled in the early portion of his classes. While I'm often viewed as a sexist, I have to question why he was only charged with accepting bribes since there seemed to be some coercion (and flat out grabbiness) involved. Plus, if it was just simply accepting a bribe, then shouldn't the women be charged with giving one? However, what really frosts me is that it's a story about boob fondling and the only picture is of the perv. Surely they have file shots of boob fondling they could have used.

But I can talk about more than boobs. An EKU student made national news after being kicked out of a mall over her whorish outfit. Apparently she wasn't wearing the required lower hair net with that dress. Actually, I've never been to the Richmond mall. Is it common to go shopping in a cocktail dress? Fortunately, she's only an EKU student, not a graduate or I would be telling everyone I know with an EKU degree to hide it because they've got some stupid people. The local rag ran the headline "You can buy it at the mall, but you can't wear it there." Well, Fayette Mall has a Victoria's Secret, but as much as I might like to see (some) women prancing around the mall in their outfits, that might be inappropriate. However, the stupidest part is the girl thinks it's illegal discrimination and is talking about suing. Yes, it's only been a few years since women in short dresses were forbidden to vote. Does EKU require government class? She needs to take them to learn (maybe) that you can't discriminate over certain things (race, gender), but short dresses aren't among them. Since the mall is a private entity, it can enforce a dress code no matter how silly that is, so as long as the mall also throws out men wearing short skirts (and they better), she can't really claim discrimination. So, in answer to her sister's question, that gives the mall security guard the right to escort her from the mall.

In other clothing bans, Crocs have been banned from an Austrian hospital due to their ability to build up static electricity which could break electronics or kill people. How about banning them because they look really stupid?

One last thought on the Olympics. It's very impressive what Michael Phelps is doing, but watching the swim meet has led to confusion. How the Hell did they pick the winners before the electronic touch wall? Some of these races are decided by a tenth of a second. How could someone see through splashing water to decide who touched first?