Another Ski Trip Recap

Once again Phil has chastised me for not writing up the ski trip. Apparently my various mentions in my Super Bowl recap were insufficient. As he pointed out to me on the phone, everyone wants to read about the ski trip. I notice when he finally posted about it, he got five comments over the next two days. Of course, I also noticed two West Virginians who complained about his lateness in posting have blogs of their own that haven't been updated in quite some time. Still, as everyone knows, I hate to disappoint Phil, so I have decided to whip something up about the ski trip while watching the UL/Marquette basketball game which I don't expect to hold me up for a week and a half.

Ski Trip Factoid - UK is 1-3 since beating Arkansas during the ski trip. UL is 3-1 since losing to Villanova on the same day. What does that mean? Probably nothing.

All in all, it was another fine time. On the trip down, the Indian (Asian type, not Native American) selling Megan Hendicks cold medicine at Walgreens was willing to tell me how to make crystal meth. He seemed to be flirting with Megan so apparently he had learned early that the easy way to pick up girls in eastern Tennessee was to know the recipe for white trash crack. Fortunately, that stop also caught us back up with others who stopped for overpriced coffee at Starbucks. This allowed me to follow Jon through the backroads which means if we had hit a Klan rally and bad things happened to Brett, it wasn’t my fault.

Cabin situation - I had originally planned on irritating Phil by carping all weekend about going from one giant cabin to one big one and two small ones over the hill. But a good samaritan talked me out of it by saying Phil wasn't taking it too well (and I also forgot about it pretty quickly). So, based on that, I won't complain about it here, because Phil didn't take it too well as he got drunk early and tried to kill himself in the hot tub. I think I speak for all of us when I say that I'm happy Phil didn't drown. Do you realize how much explaining you have to do when the cops show up about a dead body? Plus, I know people would have called me insensitive for insisting that we carry on with the ski trip (Phil would have wanted it that way). Oh yeah, and we'd all miss Phil, be very sad at his passing et cetera, et cetera. But, God, think of the paperwork.

Actually, I can't really complain too much about the accommodations. Sure, it was a pain in the ass to walk to the other cabin when it was dark out because you had to avoid construction equipment and a port-a-can. Solved that problem Saturday night by going back to the cabin at sunrise Sunday morning. The good thing was I had a bed to myself and my roommate, Vic, didn't snore on the futon. The one drawback to the room was the lack of curtains when the sun came up. Plus, there wasn't a door so anyone could walk in and jump on a sleeping Vic. Then, you never know who you end up in bed with. On the plus side, not having a door meant that unlike Griffin (you know, I'm still not sure if that is a first or last name), I wasn't going to have to move to a couch after a paranoid Amber Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is-Now takes my room with a lock because she's convince people are out to get her. Ironically, she was right as Matt was out to get her at five in the morning.

Ski Trip Factoid - Phil wasn't the only one to drunkenly climb into the loft the first night. When I got in that night, I saw Vic where Phil had been earlier and was concerned that Vic hadn't seen him and fallen asleep on top of Phil. Rather than wake Vic (who might be cranky when he wakes up and take it out on me), I climbed into the loft to see if Phil was there because it was the only place I figured he might be. I didn't actually see Phil, but I figured the lump was him, and the ladder was pulling away from the wall so I didn't check further.

Speaking of Matt, I don't know what the big deal was. So, he got drunk, fought with everyone, scared Amber into hiding, broke Phil's camera and a wall, got his face markered, passed out anywhere and everywhere and kicked my nose when he and Vic tumbled over the couch. It happens to all of us at some point or another. It wasn't like he peed off the balcony (I don't think) or tried to drive the forkift next door (it wouldn't start). I was happy Vic was on the trip because I knew there he was a Louisville fan which was welcome in a house full of bluebellies. I didn't realize he would become the designated bouncer. When I heard screams of “Vic, Vic, Vic”, I had flashbacks to “Steve, Steve, Steve” from Springer’s show. Maybe we need to get a “Security” shirt for him next year. Actually, Matt was easy to handle. When he rubbed his (thankfully clothed) ass on me, I just pushed my chair back, yanked on his shirt and watched him fall on his ass. Drunk people have poor balance. Which is why people think I’m perpetually drunk when in fact, I’m just clumsy. But Matt’s behavior did show me the true meaning of a loving marriage when Kara cleaned the marker off his face while he was passed out. Either that or she was trying to protect herself from being viewed as the woman married to the guy with the stuff written on his face.

Ski Trip Factoid – I was glad that Phil posted pictures from the previous ski trips because I have to see the group shot of ski trip IV to believe that Kevin Belcher was actually there.

Once again, there was a video. Usually, this is Phil’s pride and joy, but this year he wanted people wasted before it was shown. It was a bit shorter which Phil seemed to blame me for. Among other things. The video did include two mentions of me. I was fine with being compared to future robots that are beer swilling smart-asses even though I can out-drink and out-smart-ass any robot made. Now, being compared to Ben’s anus was a little hard to take. And Phil wonders why I don’t trust him on videos.

I don’t know why people went to bed so early. Sure, late nights of drinking could lead to someone letting others messing with their hair, but it also means that you miss when people mess with Marc’s hair. I blame the hair gel incident on Neighbor Dave because I was taking “truth” every time in Truth or Dare, but he said I should take “dare” which led to a bunch of crap in my hair. But I survived. Besides, sleep is easy to catch up on. I averaged about fours a night, and I was fine except for a heart palpitations I would have as I finally went to sleep. I even went into work for a half day (1 hour of actual work and dozing off the other three) on Monday. I used to think my ability to stay awake was due to the massive amounts of coffee I drink. The lack of coffee on Sunday pretty much shot that theory down.

Ski Trip Factoid – I don’t think Dave Schanding still believes Tubby Smith is the “Best Black Coach In America”.

Well, I wasn’t too perturbed to see Gatlinburg Idol and the Pool Tournament go by the wayside. I can’t sing (at least not well) so karaoke is not something I should engage in. After the broken pool cue incident of last year, I probably should stay away from pool tables. At least the Newlywed Game hung around another year. Granted, I’m a spectator because I wouldn’t go along with Phil’s silly notion of everyone being a contestant. I certainly wasn’t going to pair up with Brett, especially when so many answers involved private parts being in odd or not so odd places. Still, I wasn’t near as uncomfortable by that request as I was the first two days when Phil kept demanding I take my shirt off. What is he, a retired basketball player from England?

Now, there were some games that gained popularity this year. Darts seemed to pass pool, and cornole no longer meant a sex act illegal in Muslim countries. Then there was Guitar Hero which will probably be the ruin of relationships everywhere. I’m not ashamed to admit that I wasn’t very good at it. It called for two handed coordination which is apparently not my forte. Then there was that game (I’m still not sure if it was Password or Catchphrase) that drove me friggin’ nuts. When the word is “Picasso” and my clues are “Pablo” and “painter”, how in the Hell does someone come up with Escobar?

Yes, fun for the whole family.