Auto Racing & Other News

Figured Memorial Day weekend was a good time to take another look at the sport of auto racing since tomorrow will be the duo of the Indy 500 (I don't have much interest) and Coca-Cola 600 (lot of interest). Actually, what really made me think of it was ESPN.com's top 25 race car drivers (from all series). A couple of things stood out for me. How did Shirley Muldowney get voted higher than fellow drag racer Don Garlits? Both had three series titles, but Garlits had 144 event titles to her 18. How does that make any sense? Of course, I don't see how you put Dale Earnhardt ahead of Richard Petty (and I doubt they would have if he hadn't died). Same number of titles, but Petty had 200 wins to Earnhardt's 77. Considering he wasn't winning more than a couple of races as his career wound down, Earnhardt probably wasn't going to catch Cale Yarborough's 83 let alone Petty.

What I found really egregious was Tony Stewart being listed 16 which put him ahead of both Darrell Waltrip and Bobby Allison. It's highly retarded that Allison isn't on the list, but Stewart is. I wondered why until I noticed that one of the voters was ......... Tony Stewart. They also seem to give some attention to the fact that Stewart won the IRL title in 1997. That's a joke. The IRL was a joke in 1997 (and isn't a whole lot better now). All the best drivers were in CART and the biggest names (Eddie Cheever; Arie Luyendyk) were past their prime drivers who couldn't cut it in CART. The IRL was so down that it only ran 10 races that year and was letting anyone with a pulse and a driver's license try out for the Indy 500. Showing how bad the IRL was, two CART drivers entered the 2000 Indy 500 and one, Juan Pablo Montoya, crushed the field.

Speaking of the IRL being a joke, it happens every year lately that around the Indy 500, open wheel racing reporters begin talking up how great the IRL is becoming again. That's because this is the only weekend where IRL ratings are remotely comparable to NASCAR. If the future of IRL is so bright, why are the past two IRL champs, Dario Franchitti and Sam Hornish Jr, racing in NASCAR this year? The only reason there has been a recent rebound in the popularity was the appeal of Danica Patrick to young girls and men who like young girls or at least pretty women who are built like a ten year old girl. I haven't figured out why they don't push Milka Duno. She's got a better rack.

The one that bugged me the most was this chump who thinks the future is bright because Tony George is in charge of the IRL. Tony George is the guy who caused the problems for open wheel racing that allowed NASCAR to completely dominate auto racing in America. He thought open racing had too many foreigners, was dominated by the large teams, was too expensive and should stick to ovals. So, using the fact that he controlled the Indy 500 (the only open wheel race anyone cared about), George forced a split by forming the IRL and forcing out the other CART teams (who came back this year after CART went bankrupt). So, where is it now? Nine of the top 15 drivers are from foreign countries. It's dominated by the large teams. It's becoming more expensive. And they're adding more road courses. So, the IRL is pretty much like the pre-split CART with less popularity. Great job.

In non-auto racing news, it is Memorial Day weekend, and a story has come out saying 1000 World War II vets are dying a day. One researcher thinks that number is low, but I was originally surprised that it was 1000. I guess I forget how long ago World War II really was because I long had a personal connection to it since my grandfather was in the Army in Hawaii when Pearl Harbor was bombed. So, it never seemed that far in the distant past. Yet, in hindsight, he was 84 when he died three years ago. Granted he was older than a lot of other WWII vets, but you have to think the war ended in 1945 so 1928 was really the last year any were born. That means just about all WWII vets are 80 or older. Since the vast majority were men, I'm actually a bit surprised that 2.5 million out of 16 million total serving are still alive today.

Speaking of WWII, this could have been an interesting article about a German archaeological homo, but they had make a connection to pop culture which I must dispel. The article claims he was the inspiration for Indiana Jones because he also searched for the Holy Grail. Even using the term "undoubtedly" even though the premise is highly doubtful. For one, while a lot of real people were claimed as the inspiration for Jones, the producers always said they based it on old B movies from the 30s. Second, Jones never joined the SS, and in fact, seemed to have problems with Nazis. Third, the only connection is that both were archaeologists looking for the Holy Grail, but Jones only went looking for it because of his father. Oh, and it wasn't until the third movie that Jones went looking for it which means he is obviously based on something other than queer Nazi digger.

This would be your typical older woman sleeps with teenage boy story except the one little line about how it all began. He apparently wanted pictures of her boobage, but she sent picture of Pamela Anderson's. Now, I freely admit that I'm not too discriminating when someone sends me boob pictures, but you might notice this chick was black. And Anderson is not. So, if he really thought he was going to be banging a chick with knockers like Pamela Anderson, he's a dumbass.

I actually read the original story when it came out. A substitute teacher was fired (how do you fire a substitute? don't they work as on call?) and claimed he was told it was over "wizardry" after he did a magic trick in his class. I never even considered linking to it on the blog because it sounded like complete BS the moment I read it. Seriously. Who even uses the term "wizardry" any more? Now, if I could find that story highly suspect, shouldn't Keith Olbermann who has a research staff have done a little more checking before he ran with it? Maybe a phone call?

And the surrender to Eurabia continues. Dutch police sent in the swat team to take down cartoonist for insulting Muslims.

That chick in the story above wasn't the only female sending naked pictures over the cell phone. Two in Santa Fe, Texas sent naked pictures to boyfriends. The difference was they sent naked pictures of themselves. And they were in junior high school. A lot has changed since I was in junior high. We didn't have cell phones.

I've never been a big fan of Shania Twain. Well, not of her music. I would have given Phil's left arm to do her. Now, I'm not so sure. When I heard she was divorcing Mutt Lange, my first thought was he was just tired of being married. Then I heard there was another woman, so I assumed it was some fine young lass. Then I saw a picture of the other woman. Now, I wonder what could be wrong with Shania if that's what he dumped her for. Hell, who am I kidding? I'd still do her and put up with whatever crap drove Mutt away.

I didn't watch the Academy of Country Music awards, and I didn't realize that they were letting the public to vote on Entertainer of the Year. That is until I read that Kenny Chesney won and promptly started bitching about the fact that they let fans vote. So, this guy becomes a big star by ripping off Jimmy Buffett and dodging gay rumors, and he wants to basically say fans are too stupid to pick the Entertainer of the Year?

Some Girl Scout in Michigan set some kind of record by selling over 17,000 of their overpriced, overrated cookies. And did it by manning a booth on a street corner. Unfortunately, she's only 15. If she was a year or two older, I would use the obvious joke that she wore her Girl Scout uniform from six years ago and her buyers were primarily men. At only 15, that might be a little creepy. Maybe her mom was hot and wore her uniform. Or maybe guys stopping by her street corner were looking for hookers and bought cookies to avoid suspicion of vice cops.

In China, a restaurant is causing some controversy by filling their urinal (it's a trough) with carp. Come on people. It's China. Two thirds of the country probably use the local waterways as their bathroom. These fish aren't going to have a problem with a little urine. They may die because the water doesn't hold the lead and mercury they're used to.