I think Pittsburgh won the game in the first half by controlling the ball. Arizona had only one possession in the first quarter. They had three in the second. The first went for a touchdown. The second was a punt. The third would have gone for a touchdown if James Harrison hadn't intercepted it in the end zone and run 100 friggin' yards for a touchdown. And right afterwards we get the 3D commercials that really didn't look too 3D, but at least I got to wear the 3D glasses and nothing looks cooler than 3D glasses.
Since we were in Gatlinburg instead of Tucson, we got the full game instead of a 30 second porn clip. Actually, it would have been more interesting to have the porn clip in the third quarter when not much happened. Well, except the infamous case where an Arizona player roughed the holder by sticking his crotch in his face. Comcast is blaming outside act for the problem. Which is probably true. Cable companies don't give porn away for free. One of the great things about the internet is the free porn.......I mean the fact that it didn't take long to figure out who was in the clip that aired. I was going to see if I recognized her, but then I remembered that she's some internet porn slut so she's essentially a movie prop. And no, I am not surfing porn in the following picture. I was looking up game info.
Here's the amazing thing about Arizona's comeback in the fourth quarter. Through the first three quarters, they'd only had one drive that went for more than 33 yards. All four drives in the fourth quarter went for at least 33. Four of the five Pittsburgh drives went for less than 4 yards. Three went for negative yards. One was a safety. Looking at the second half stats, that Harrison inteception/touchdown at the end of the half was huge. I thought this was the last bourbon shots of the night, but it was actually the first. I know because I also took the fifth shot sitting on the counter. It was supposed to be for Will, but he turned it down. Now, I'm not going to cast aspersions on him not drinking it. Mainly because I probably did at the time.
The amazing thing is that the Super Bowl turned on Harrison's interception for a touchdown because that was really Kurt Warner's only mistake. Warner completely outplayed Ben Roethlisberger who was very mediocre (I'm being polite) until the last series. On the series before that one, the Steelers' got the safety on a hold in the end zone. On the two series before that, Roethlisberger took two series killing sacks. Even on the game winning drive, I don't think he was that sharp. He had a four yard scramble that caused them to waste a timeout when he could have just thrown it away. Santonio Holmes saved his ass repeatedly. The penultimate play (not counting the TD) was a 40 yard pass to get them to the 6 yard line. It was a curl route that Holmes made with a great run after the catch. On the winning touchdown, Roethlisberger overthrew Holmes who was triple covered. If Holmes doesn't make a great catch, there's no touchdown.No touchdown would have meant no winnings for Marc. That would have been bad since I got roped into that stupid left-right-center whatever the hell it is dice game. I lost six dollars. Most of which I lost to Melissa. I'm not used to giving that many ones to a woman who keeps her clothes on. And asking her to take off her clothes didn't work, so why am I playing this stupid game? Apparently three ones ain't going to do it. And then she lost them to others. This is a stupid game. I blame Phil for the fact that I was playing.
On the drive home, I had one thought - is that a Pizza Hut behind Jon?
7 comments:
This is your best blog ever...except for the trannie comments.
very well done, Marc. I wish I was back there, next to the keg. *sniff*
Phil, I too miss the keg. Jon, if you would just leave your fetishes at home, I wouldn't have mentioned it.
Sorry we had to leave - Mike had a thing about watching it in Cincy so he could run into the streets and taunt Bengals fans more easily when his team won ...
Love this post! Especially the hot tub and subsequent trans fat picture ... you're a good man Marc Sherman!
Why exactly is it that you aren't running the show over at The Onion?
NUC-D
I admit cigarettes are bad and that I should never smoke them again. Which is more than you've said about pizza rolls. Also, that look you see there is called "Kentucky Hard."
I never said pizza rolls weren't bad for you. I have plenty of vices which I know are bad for me. The difference is I'm not eating a pizza roll while trying to smack a cigarette out of someone's mouth.
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