Catching Up On Risque Stories

As mentioned in the last posting, I haven't had time to update this so I have a long list of news stories that I haven't had a chance to get to. I'll start with the dirty ones.

I liked the result of this story because it establishes the legal precedent that staring at a woman's knockers doesn't constitute sexual harrassment. Not that I have to worry about such things as I would never engage in such unprofessional behavior. Unless she was stacked. Actually, I don't believe either of them. I don't believe the man stared because he had a medical condition that led to a wandering eye. However, I also don't believe her when she said it was so bad that she had to go change clothes during the day. If you knew he was going to stare and were that uncomfortable about it, don't wear something that lets you boobage hang out.

Now here's another story involving a lawsuit. A Canadian stripper is suing for age discrimination because she was let go when the club she was working at decided to go younger. Sorry. When it comes to a profession where appearance is so important, looking old can be a hindrance. So, it's not really age discrimination. It's looking aged. Sure, when a woman is rubbing her butt up against your crotch, you may not be looking for crow's feet around her eyes, but if you do see it, you may not go back. Unless that's what you're into.

With their scat porn, you would think Germany would have most of the European sexual dysfunction. Nope. France has prude nudists. I usually stay clear of nudist stories because most nudists are people I would prefer to see in clothes, but sometimes they are funny. A nudist hangout has had a rash of fires at swinger clubs, and it's being blamed on nudists who are offended by the swingers' behavior. I guess it's a difference of opinion on whether it's better to dangle it or pass it around.

At a Bills game a few weeks ago, a couple got busted for having sex in the women's restroom. I like how they termed it "inappropriate". My defense would be that there's been a lot of inappropriate behavior on the field by Buffalo the past few years. Actually, I've been to a lot of football games and that's not near as inappropriate as some behavior I've been exposed to. Someone took a massive dump at one of the Commonwealth Stadium bathrooms while I was there for a game, and the ventilation was bad. I thought I was going to die. In fact, when I ran into Joker Phillips at McCarthy's on St. Patrick's Day, I lodged a complaint with him about that. Tried to pass it off as not being his responsibility. Loser.

Disgraced former governor of New York, Dave ........I mean Eliot Spitzer, won't be charged for being a "john" to a overpriced whore. I like how the excuse not to charge him is that he didn't use public or campaign funds. Sorry, the Mann Act makes it illegal to take women across state lines for whoring. The federal government has a long history of making examples of high profile criminals to deter others from engaging in that behavior. Why does Spitzer get a pass?

Some church dude in England had to go to the hospital with a potato stuck in his ass. Great excuse. Naked curtain hanging followed by falling on a potato. Please. You need a better excuse than that. Just claim you lost a bar bet. Or you were hiding it because you thought the Irish were coming to steal your potatoes.

Also in England, a town councillor is resigning because she gets no respect from her fellow councillors due to the fact that she's also a stripper. Why is always the strippers that we must attack? Actually, looking at her picture, I'm sure she could quit. I don't think she's making that much money from it.

ARod's ex is pissed that he's dumping the children in order to spend Thanksgiving with Madonna. I'm not going to question his parenting because his kids are better off without him with that kind of judgment, but come on. Madonna has become gross. Screwing the turkey would probably be more fun.

And let's end with some school related stories. Beginning with a bus driver who offered some cheerleaders $40 to lift their shirts. How dumb was he? Don't proposition them en masse. Ask around and find out which ones are going to be willing to do it. Don't ask them in front of their more prudish friends. And make sure they're 18 so you don't have legal hassles. There are certain methods to being a pervert.

See, this guy is in trouble because he latched onto a 17 year old. He's a teacher who was messing around with a runaway who happened to be found in his closet. He told the police he didn't know where she was. He could be telling the truth. I don't know how those teenage girls ended up in my closet. Or who tied them up.

And finally, a former porn actress was found to be working as a teacher's aide at an elementary school. Some people think she should be fired because they want role models as employees, but since it wasn't illegal, the school board is worried about a lawsuit. Since it's an elementary school, I doubt she's going to try to enlist the students into the business. Plus, if elementary students know what she did previously, you got bigger issues. Now, what I found really funny about the story is that she pointed out that "our president-elect has admitted to doing crack". Even if she wasn't making a valid point, it would still be funny because of the way the reporter handled it. She felt it was important to point out that Barak Obama's admission was for cocaine, not specifically crack. Because admitting to using blow is no big deal, but that crack stuff would be a real problem.