Even More News Of The Week

I could have waited until later to write this up, but important breaking news has occurred. Guns N' Roses' is finally releasing their album Chinese Democracy (or as I like to call it Taiwan). This album has been in the works for 13 years. Granted, they are still working out the monetary details which means it could really hit the market by 2011. I'm not going to say it will suck, but I'm willing to bet it will be pretty bland and make only a small ripple. What will suck is the fact that there may be a reality show made in connection with it. Considering how long the album took, that show could go on for years. Except it's based on one of the least liked celebrities out there. And unlike that Kardashian chick, he doesn't have a big (female) ass or a sex tape that anyone would have any interest in watching.

Speaking of sex tapes, there's a rumor out there that a Marilyn Monroe sex tape has emerged. I certainly wouldn't be interested in seeing such filth (except for strictly research purposes), but I imagine it would be more anticipated (and less vomit inducing) than another one by Chyna. Too bad some dirtbag bought the film with the intent of burying it so no one (except him) gets to see it. Pervert.

Since I've got the porno story out of the way, I guess hookers are next. It was reported a while back that Senator David Vitter was caught up as a john in the DC Madam case. Now, we're finding out that one of the hookers working for the madam was a naval officer who was stationed at the Naval Academy (poor lass was working at a place where they probably couldn't afford her services). Obviously she had to be an officer. If she had been an NCO, the only Senator she would have been interested in sex with would have been Dianne Feinstein. I like the comment that she is on leave from the Navy. She should probably stay on leave for awhile. If adultery is a court-martial offense, prostitution probably is too.

Hey, how about another hooker story. This one was a women running an escort service in her free time from teaching high school. I would make the comment that finding clients there would be even harder than at the Naval Academy except damned high school kids seem to have more disposable income than I do.

When Barak Obama got a lift from Oprah Winfrey's endorsement, I did not understand where Oprah got that kind of credibility. The fact that she spawned Dr. Phil on us means her credibility should be completely shot. His latest is posting bail for one of those cheerleaders from the gang assault. Bail was contingent on getting an exclusive from her. Now Dr. Phil is leaking that it was some low level production assistant who did it, but what's the likelihood that guy even has $3 grand on him at any time?

Speaking of Obama, his latest gaffe was a good one. He basically said that small town people lose their job and become bitter which leads them to become gun toting, bigoted religious fanatics who want to ship all the Mexicans back. But he did apologize for it. Well, he basically said he's sorry that people couldn't figure out what he really meant. I did like the fact that he's claiming he used the wrong choice of words. Strange how such a great speaker is now beginning to "misspeak" a lot when he doesn't have a teleprompter in front of him. Now, the defense is that he misspoke and he was right anyway because people really are bitter. I wouldn't argue about that since we are talking about Democratic primary voters and Democrats are just bitter people. However, it misses the point. Read the quote. Obama is explaining what the bitterness has led people to. One of which is racism (antipathy to people who aren't like them). So, basically, Obama is saying small town midwestern people are bigots. The bitterness is the reason why they become such bigots.

His opponent Hillary Clinton is making some noise about it, and to show that she understands the "little people" of Pennsylvania, she does a boilermaker with them. Of course, there is a problem. Hillary has begun attacking free trade, and especially NAFTA. And yet, when it came down to what to drink, she has Crown Royal. Blended Canadian whisky that's bottled only in Manitoba, Canada. American whiskey not good enough for you, Hillary?

But all is not lost for Hillary. Elton John has come out with his endorsement of her and appears to believe that anyone who doesn't vote for her is misogynistic. Yeah. Somehow I don't think I'll be taking my voting cues from a poorly dressed British homo who can't even vote in this country.

Oh wait, not done with the porno stories. In Italy, porn star Milly D'Abbraccio is running for something or other in Rome. Obviously Hillary's presidential campaign has encouraged women around the world to seek office no matter how stupid their campaign is. This "actress" has built her campaign around her butt (to think Kim Kardashian only got a reality show out of hers). Which is good. Why wait until you take office to show your ass as a politician?

Hey, North Korea has promised that the Olympic torch relay won't be disrupted when it's carried through North Korea. That's certainly true. Unlike London or Paris, the protection policy in North Korea will be shoot first and if that doesn't work, shoot again. England is considering dropping the international part of the torch relay when London hosts the 2012 Olympics. It's somewhat controversial because you don't want to mess with an Olympic "tradition" that began two Olympics ago (before 2000, the torch pretty much ran through the host country). I have a better idea. How about England refrain from initiating a bloody crackdown on Tibet that year?

Here's a heart warming story about parents making decisions about their 4 year old child's future. His mother thinks he should join Crips while his father wants him in the Westside Ballers. I'm thinking Child Protective Services myself. The fact that his parents could be members in different gangs and still manage to have an illegitimate child together gives hope for everyone. I think Hollywood should make a move about them. It could be West Side Story II.

Of course, I'm sure it's all a government conspiracy. Alicia Keys thinks "gangsta rap" is a big government conspiracy. Which means talent and looks can't mask latent stupidity forever. Of course, she's not smart enough to realize that she's insulting all the "gangsta rap" aficionados by saying they were duped by a bunch of bureaucrats.

This is one of the more bizarre stories that I've read in a long time. A guy balled up some bread and tried to sell it as crack. That wasn't the weirdest part. He was trying to sell it at a Florida nursing home. Doesn't he realize those people are on fixed incomes? And probably not crack smokers.

I just want to say for the record that I don't live in New York nor do I ride the subway there. Some guy is facing a life sentence for his 53rd arrest. For what? Rubbing up against women in the subway. Which means I'm thinking of moving to New York and riding the subway. Hey, if you can get away with it the first 50 some times.......