Happy Thanksgiving

Start off with a turkey story. In New Hampshire, a turkey farmer has his birds drink beer to give them some weight. I don't really have a problem with that except it shows him giving the turkeys Coors. They're friggin' turkeys. Give them Milwaukee's Best. Actually, it's not that great of a story. It just gives me an excuse to again link to the greatest turkey moment in sitcom history.

On to other news. I'm sure all lawyers dream of getting appointed to their state supreme court so they can get cases just like this one. Who wouldn't want the power to decide if trying to hump a store mannequin is indecent exposure if he isn't trying to do it in front of other people? Now, I've been drunk and horny. In fact, I'm drunk and horny right now. However, I'm positive (well, mostly positive) that I've never reached the point of trying to get a little from a mannequin.

Down in Florida, some people reported seeing an orangutan running around in their woods. Wildlife officials got involved. They concluded it was a fox squirrel. Might think about bringing the DEA to that neighborhood. Here is a fox squirrel. And here is an orangutan. I can see where the confusion came from. Whenever I scratch myself in public, I inadvertently grope 16 year old girls. I get confused easily while doing that.

But at least I don't wear a nun's habit.

While I was wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, it's actually the day after which is when everyone goes shopping. Except me. The thought of fighting crowds like that drove me to the couch today. Well, that and laziness. Still, it means Christmas is here. Well, the fact that some stores were putting Christmas stuff up around Halloween should have already clued people in. And what comes with Christmas. Stories about political correct stupidity regarding Christmas. First was Australia where department store Santas were told to use Ha,Ha,Ha instead of Ho,Ho,Ho because a ho could be frightening to children (especially if she has herpes). Oh, and ho is a demeaning term for women in America. I'm sure those Santas were only a short step away from greeting children with a "Yo, bitch".

Then in England, a local school has decided to put Santa in green because the students might think of Coca-Cola. Let me repeat that. A school has decided not to put Santa in his normal red and throw away 200 years of history and tradition because students might think of a soft drink. WTF? How retarded are the people running this school? Why not ban the playing of soccer at the school because students might think of Umbros? When I think of commercialization at Christmas, Coke falls pretty low on the list. Oh, and it doesn't say much for the history department that the school really believes Santa in a red suit is the result of product marketing. Or say much for them that nobody bothered to check and find out they are full of crap.

I'll admit I don't really know too much about the music of Amy Winehouse. With my constant reading of news websites, I am well aware that she is English white trash. An unrepentant junkie who sings songs about not getting her junkieness fixed and has nervous breakdowns about her unrepentant junkie husband getting locked up. Oh, and her big ass hair freaks me out. Yet, I still can't bring myself to agree with the UN that her drug use is leading to instability in Africa.

In fact, I blame Africa's problems on Africa, especially after I read the story of the witchdoctor and the diesel fuel in Zimbabwe. Well, she is "spirit medium" which doesn't sound as backwards-ass as witchdoctor. But the backwards-ass is still there. This woman claimed she to be able to get diesel fuel from a rock which she did by hitting the rock with a stick. She just so happened to do it in front of a bunch of government ministers who turned around and gave her a bunch of money and took a year to figure out they had been fooled. The fact that these morons are running a country (into the ground) is why many parts of Africa are a basket case. There wasn't one skeptic in the bunch to actually take a closer look at the rockand notice a pipe? This wasn't a Jed Clampett story where oil was struck on the surface of the ground. These dumbasses actually believed refined fuel was coming out of the ground because she hit it with a stick.

Several men convicted of Madrid train bombings in 2004 have gone on a hunger strike. Frankly, I don't see the problem here.

I mentioned previously a man who was arrested for trying to get 911 to pick up some beer for him. Well, everyone had a good chuckle over that one, but this story out of Wisconsin shows the tragic results that can come about when a man doesn't get his emergency supply of beer. The guy was mad because his wife wouldn't bring him some more beer. So, he shoots one of their pet goats. I don't know why he's being charged with it. Goats are livestock (except in parts of the Middle East where they are sex objects). He should have just eaten it.

How sweet. Paul McCartney's gimpy soon-to-be ex-wife is forcing her way into the news by ripping into rich people. You know. Like her estranged husband, and herself if she gets the amount of money she's going after in the divorce. My first thought was surely she couldn't be so stupid that she thinks no one will recognize the hypocrisy in her position that five years of sex with an aging rock star should be worth $100 million. Then you read further and find that she thinks she's on par with great humanitarians from the past who were punished for their beliefs. And what are her beliefs? Well, she is a vegetarian, and everyone knows they face incredible persecution. Oh, and she seems to think that a mediocre model/soft core pornster/high priced call girl turned gold digger has some kind of moral authority. Exactly what did she ever do besides marry a former Beatle that would endear her to any segment of the population outside of fellow amputees in need of inspiration (if their aspirations are to marry someone very wealthy)?

Just The News

A man is in trouble for repeatedly calling 911 to ask them to bring some more beer to his house. I don’t see why he’s in such trouble. It was obviously an emergency. And what did they want him to do? Drive out and get it himself? That would have been irresponsible. Look what happened to this guy. He even had a designated driver. His drunken 13 year old son. This is just an example of poor parenting. My father never would have let this happen. I wouldn't have been allowed to go drinking with him until I could afford to chip in.

Those drunk asses were probably mourning what is about to happen in Tennessee. The state may end up destroying hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniels for being sold without a license. Some are antiques worth $10,000. Typical friggin' government. They'll probably try to raise taxes while destroying something valuable.

Best birthday ever. A mistake by an entertainment agency caused a stripper to be sent to school for a student’s birthday instead of the “gorillagram” ordered. What is a gorillagram and who would want one? Anyway, the stripper put the guy on leash and led him around the room after stripping to her underwear. It was only as she was trying to make the student rub some cream on her rear that the teacher stepped in and ended it. Which bring a couple of questions to mind. Did the stripper not realize she was at a high school and there could be a mistake? Did the teacher really need to wait until that point to put a stop to it?

Awhile back I wrote about the young woman who was almost thrown off a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing an outfit the stewardess deemed too revealing (it wasn't even close). Well, she's back in the news. She's profiting off the notoriety of the incident to get a Playboy spread. I think if she can get some money out of it, good for her. I think this could be an ongoing news report that I personally should keep up with. Maybe I should get a subscription to that magazine so I don't accidentally miss it. For research purposes only.

This story shows why I stopped picking nuns up in bars (other than the fear of burning in Hell). You have a little too much to drink. Your stuff doesn’t work. They jam something up it. If I had a dollar for every time this happened to me………

I’m not a Catholic, so whether they want to have female priest is entirely up to the Vatican. However, I find this story quite confusing. Some group of rabble rousing women is trying promote that cause by having themselves ordained into the Catholic Church. The fact that the Church doesn’t recognize those ordinations and in fact, may excommunicate them means to me that they aren’t really being ordained into the Catholic Church. That’s neither here nor there. What gets me is that a Jewish Reform congregation is allowing the ordination to be done at their synagogue. The article mostly deals with the fact that it will kill any working relationship people that synagogue and the local Archdiocese, but the bigger question is why would you allow your consecrated worship area to be used for a ceremony of a completely different religion?

Here’s a wonderful story. It’s another tale that explains why Johnny can’t read or do simple math. Our school systems are run by idiots. A kid wears a ghost costume for Halloween. Some people think it could look like a Klan outfit. He gets suspended for two days because in the words of the superintendent, “Whether it was meant to be a ghost costume or not, it was not interpreted that way.” So, basically, this school system suspended a student for two days because someone may misinterpret his costume? Am I the only one who thinks this is completely friggin nuts?

Whenever I see another story about a female teacher bumping nasties with an underage male student, I'm always struck by how different it is than when a male teacher drops one on a female student. First, female teachers don't seem to get the same level of punishment as a male teacher. Even better, they often play the victim and say they fell prey to a 13 year old romeo. The other difference is that male teachers appear to just want a little nookie. Female teachers seem to fall in love. With teenage boys. Maybe this is why Johnny can't read. His teacher is a hormonal wreck. Now, here's a different, yet interesting take on the latest teacher spreading for love.

I'll keep this story in mind the next time I hear some left wing Ivy League intellectual say he does support the U.S. troops. In the hometown of Harvard University, a local boy scout troop set up donation boxes at polling places to collect items for care packages for American soldiers. There was a complaint that these donation boxes were "pro-war" so they were removed. Apparently, sending Snickers to a soldier sitting in the desert is the height of militancy. The mayor is quoted as saying it was a mistake and the council will help them realize their goals. Translation: let's do something before we look like bigger horse's asses than we already do. Reminds me of a quote from William F. Buckley: "I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University."

Well, the military has said it is stopping the beard-shaving-as-punishment for captured terrorists at Gitmo because the Muslims were getting enraged by the humiliation. Oh, the horror of getting a shave. Let's see. We're talking about a group of people who like to cut people's heads off, subjugate non-males and non-Muslims, punish rape victims, issue death decrees against authors (among many others), blow up schoolchildren (among many others), fly planes into skyscrapers and many other less than wholesome pursuits. Frankly, I'm having trouble mustering too much sympathy for them getting their beards shaved. But if that's what is bothering them, fine. Next time they a bag of crap on a guard, don't cut off their beard. Break their arm. Now everyone is happy.

This Week In Sports

I was originally going to ignore UK basketball's little hiccup (okay, vomit might be a better word) against Gardner-Webb. Sure, it was embarrassing for the local team. Sure, it led to some funny moments at work the next day as UK fans overreacted. Really, the number of booze and sex related rumors that were being spread (remember, these were UK fans spreading the rumor, not me) were quite varied. The rumor that he's had multiple drunken pullovers without getting a DUI and ended up getting university supplied driver wouldn't be that surprising. He does have a history there. The sex rumors have certainly run the gamut. There's one about him getting caught picking up a hooker in an alley. I'm sure that would have already been out, but even if true, it shows poor judgment. He can afford much better than a street whore. Then, there was the rumor he preferred boys to girls which could explain his obsessive practicing. More practice = more showers. Most likely this would lead to a few problems among the UK fan base. The last rumor was that he picked up two 19 year old girls and tag teamed them at a hotel. Can't really think of anything else to say except "way to go, dude".

But I figured it still wasn't that big a deal. Sure, Gardner-Webb was a 9 win Atlantic Sun team last year that had no business beating a UK especially so handily. But I wrote after Tubby Smith left that due to a lack of personnel, I thought UK was going to struggle this year anyway (which is one of the reasons I thought Smith jumped ship) so my expectations for them were pretty low. I thought the fact that they were ranked to start the season was a joke. They weren't even receiving votes at the end of last year, and I didn't think they would any better this year. They lost their entire front line and top backup at center (for what the giant Pole was worth). When I saw that sophomore walk-on Mark Coury (he played 20 minutes last year - total) was starting, I thought someone was nuts. Then I realized there really wasn't anyone else. UK's interior is either young (Patterson) or sucks (the rest).

In fact, I wonder how bad this team would be without the freshmen. Patrick Patterson and Alex Legion are already two of the better players, but they are screwed by some of the returning players. Guys like Ramel Bradley and Joe Crawford are ball hogs who haven't seen a bad shot they won't take. God forbid they pass that up to give the ball to someone else. Maybe if Derrick Jasper ever gets back, there will be someone to pass the ball to Patterson who is probably their best player. The last reason I thought the loss to Gardner-Webb wasn't a big deal is Jodie Meeks was playing poorly. I think based on his play at the end of last year, UK's success could follow how well he plays. Oh wait, that could be a problem.

Well, Barry Bonds was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice for lying before a grand jury investigating his steroid supplier. A lot of people thought he wasn't going to be charged, but they were wrong. Kind destroys his argument that his home run record wasn't tainted. But really, who honestly believed he was clean? The fun from the story was watching the talking heads "discuss" it on ESPN. Stephen A. Stupid claimed that the only reason a team wouldn't take a chance on Bonds now is his skills have declined, but if he was still a great player, someone would sign him. Brilliant. How's that federal indictment affecting Michael Vick's career? Then Charles Barkley was interviewed (always go to the basketball analyst when discussing a baseball player). Among his paranoid rantings was that Bonds was being persecuted because Jason Giambi wasn't indicted for steroids, but Bonds was. He was oblivious to the fact that Bonds hasn't been charged with using 'roids, just lying about his dealings with Balco. Word on the street is that Giambi spilled everything to the grand jury. Barkley also bitched that Bonds is being treated differently than other suspect players (he needs to ask Mark McGwire how is Hall of fame bid is going) and why is this steroid stuff only leaked on Bonds (Paul Byrd might have an argument with that). Barry Bonds is an arrogant, ass whose dirty deeds caught up with him.

In other baseball news, Alex Rodriguez just agreed to re-sign with the New York Yankees for 10 years and $279 million. That was in spite of George Steinbrenner's kids who run the team now saying they didn't want Rodriguez because he opted out of his contract (he had three years left) which proved he didn't really want to be a Yankee. Now the Steinbrenners are spinning that Rodriguez could have gotten more money on the open market so by taking less to re-sign, he's proven that he really does want to be a Yankee. Yeah, right. That's a load of bull. No one pays more than the Yankees. The other argument being thrown out is Rodriguez's agent Scott Boras screwed up by having him opt out because he overestimated the market for his client, and he's essentially getting what the Yankees were offering before the opt out. Boras didn't get what he hoped for, but he came out the better even though it might not have been as good for Rodriguez. The Yankees were offering to extend him to ten years for about the same total. Now, Boras gets his percentage based on the new 10 year deal instead of a seven year extension. When you consider how much 3% of $80 million is, Boras is ahead.

I have decided who the Heisman Trophy winner should be. Dennis Dixon of Oregon. Even though he may never play another college game after injuring his knee against Arizona. Oregon was rolling with him, but after he got hurt, they turned to crap. Of course, when you are forced to turn to Ryan Leaf's little brother, you've got problems.

A few years ago, Cincinnati Bengals fans were coming out of the woodwork in Lexington. Where have they all gone?

Some nutbag woman drove through a security gate at Gillette Stadium and ended up with her car left on a New England Patriots' practice field. Man, some people go crazy in an attempt to get impregnated by Tom Brady.

OJ Simpson is going to trial for armed robbery against a sports memorabilia seller. His response "As always, I rely on the jury system." Makes sense. If a jury is willing to let a little thing like murder slide, they'll be open to acquitting him on armed robbery. And hopefully soon. OJ needs to get out to the golf course and find the real robber.

Monday Night News

Remember. Election day is tomorrow (at least in Kentucky) if you're a Republican. If you're a Democrat, it's on Wednesday.

It's bad timing for me since I'm an election officer and have to be at the precinct at 5:30 in the morning. What sucks is the Steelers are playing on Monday night, but I'll only get to watch the first part of it.

An 83 year old World War II vet in Milwaukee was convicted of trying to hire a prostitute. I'm pretty curious what the sex act was that he was willing to pay $20 for and apparently able to perform. Actually, I'm a little disappointed with the jury for convicting. Sixty years ago, this man stood on the ramparts of freedom and democracy defending this great country against the rampaging socialist horde. If he wants a little nookie and is willing to pay for it, I think that's the least we can do for him.

At least he wasn't trafficking cocaine like this 93 year old man. This is who I would buy my drugs from. I could probably give him a $2 bill and claim it was a $20.

In other crime news, 75 yard gnomes were allegedly stolen and dumped in someone's front yard. I say allegedly because we don't know they were actually stolen. For all we know, those gnomes walked there themselves. They're sneaky bastards.

My favorite story of the week. An assistant high school coach and cheerleading coach at an Ohio high school were fired for taking a picture of a topless 15 year old cheerleader and posting it on the web. You know, I'm really past the point of laughing at such stupidity on their part. "Let's throw a party, invite a high school freshman, get her to pose topless, and post the picture on the internet. What could go wrong?" No, what gets me about this story is that it says the two coaches were 19 years old. Why would a high school hire assistant coaches a year out of high school? And why did the report name the football coach, but not the cheerleader coach?

EDITOR'S UPDATE - Found an update on the cheerleader story (with video). This one does include the cheerleading coach's name. And I had assumed that the football coach took the picture of the 15 year old, but I was incorrect. The cheerleading coach took the picture of both of them with their ta-tas hanging out. I'd like to hear her explanation for what she was thinking then. And maybe some more details about what went on after that picture was taken. You know because it's news.

You've got to be careful with pictures and crap that you take. A former NFL player could lose his job as a high school hall monitor because he had two nude pictures on his cell phone which he lost and a student found. Now, my first thought was "you're worried about a job as a hall monitor?" Then I realized he needs that job to coach there. This whole thing is ridiculous. They weren't nude pictures of students (one report said one was a picture of himself which is a whole other issue) nor was he showing them around, so what business is it of the school that he had them? Actually, they should suspend the bastard student for "finding" the phone and trying to pawn it even though he knew whose phone it was.

A couple of rich folks up in New York abused their servants by beating and starving them. Well, not completely starving them because they would make them eat a bunch of chili peppers washed down with chili powdered salt water until they threw up. Hey, what's the point of having servants if you can't do things to make them vomit?

Okay, we’ve got a guy who lost his leg in a plane crash, but kept the leg. In a barbecue smoker. I’m assuming he had no plans to use that smoker for cooking anymore. I hope. Then he forgot about it and all his crap in a storage locker was auctioned when he didn’t pay his bill. And now the guy who bought the contents of the locker wants the leg back too so he can charge people to see it. I’m torn here. On one hand, I can’t believe someone wants to display an amputated leg for money (or that very many people would pay to see a mummified leg), but at the same time, the guy did buy whatever was in the locker. Why shouldn’t he get it back? You don’t want to lose your leg, don’t keep it in a storage locker. Or at least pay the bill. There have been cases of people who hid their murder victim in a storage facility and got caught because they stopped paying the bill and the contents were auctioned off. If you are going to store a dead body in a rental facility, shouldn’t be the first bill you pay every month?

A medical study just came out that says Karl Marx suffered from a skin disorder that leads to alienation which probably affected his writings. It leads to skin problems (leaking pus, boils, blackheads) on your butt and private parts. So, a political philosophy that led to the death of millions of people in the last century came about because some guy had boils on his junk.

And finally, a few stripper stories. Is this something new? A stripper at a baby shower? Women better watch out or guys will start including strippers on their (formerly) mundane get-togethers like pre-work breakfasts, business lunches, after work happy hours, dinner, Sunday school, kid’s football games, and bar mitzvahs.

Or a college graduation. A man says his son was defrauded out of $53,000 at a strip club because he told them not to go above $600 but they kind of did. I am curious. It says he bought 19 bottles of champagne "between $150 and $2000". Let's assume $2000 each. That's $38,000 max for champagne. How much do they charge for a lapdance? I'm not sure who is stupider. The son wasn't too bright to not keep an eye on his tab. But I think the Dad was even stupider. First, if you are setting a $600 limit, give him cash. Second, if you do decide to give him a credit card, make it one with a limit. Mine would crap out long before it go to that point.

Finally, there's a virus going around on the internet to allow spammers to sign up fake email addresses. A picture of a hot babe pops up and says she'll strip as the user types in jumbled figures. My question is why would you play a striptease game that suddenly "pops up" on your screen? Gee, that doesn't sound dangerous at all? You've got the internet. If you're that hard up for pictures of naked chicks, it's not that tough to find some. Or so I've heard.

News Update

This could just be a straight up, preacher gone wrong tale, except it's better. A pastor from Bristol, TN got busted in Johnson City, TN (check my news reports 10/4 to see what else is going on in Johnson City) after he offered to go down on some cops and then took a leak at a car wash. Outside. Oh, he was also wearing a denim skirt which means Southwest Airlines would not have let him fly. The best part is he apparently drank half a bottle of Vodka, but only tested .08 blood alcohol content. And claims he was too intoxicated from that to know why he was wearing a skirt. Wuss. When I wash down a bottle of narcotics with Vodka, I still know why I'm wearing a skirt. It makes me feel free down there.

Of course, that guy wasn't willing to go whole hog like the principal from Bardstown who got busted for hanging around a high prostitution area in Louisville while dressed like a woman. He went so far as to wear fishnet stockings and fake breasts. At first I was happy to finally know where the hookers hang out in Louisville (for research purposes only). However, if that's what you pick up there, I'll pass. He would make one ugly looking woman.

A new celebrity sex tape may be set to hit the market. Amy Fisher's estranged husband sold one of their sex tapes to some porn distributor while they were busted up. Now, they are reconciled and Amy is angry. It's nice to see there's some white trash on Long Island. She reconciled with a guy who sold a tape of their more intimate moments. As for the guy buying it, why? Fisher is old news, and not really attractive enough to make me want to watch. Sure, back when she was 17, watching her in a sex tape would have been good viewing. For the celebrity aspect, not because she was only ..........never mind.

Local hunter took a picture of some strange looking animal, and Bigfoot researching moron declared it looked like "a juvenile Sasquatch" which is an interesting observation since no one has ever seen a real Sasquatch, let alone a juvenile one. That's because they don't exist. Someone with at least a minimum level of intelligence says it's a bear with mange.

In a loosely related story, a hunter in West Virginia says he saw an African lion wandering around the woods up there. And some guy wants it trapped rather than shot. I don't think it's a lion. It's probably just a local hilljack with mange. While I'm not opposed to someone shooting him, I do know how to trap him. Just find his little sister, put her in crotchless pants and he'll catch the scent in a heartbeat.

In political news, Hillary Clinton bombed in the latest debate and it's all Tim Russert's fault. Poor baby was being picked on by the other candidates and that meanie Russert who had the gall to actually ask her tough questions. This is why I'm loath to vote for a female candidate. She's being attacked by her opponents because she's the front runner. Would it make sense for John Edwards to go after Bill Richardson? No, you take down the person ahead of you in the polls. So, what does Hillary do? She plays the poor-little-woman card. If you're not tough enough to take it in high stakes politics, run for school board.

There were a lot of concerns about why Dennis Kucinich's only question was if he had really seen a UFO over Shirley MacLaine's house as she wrote in her book. Well, duh. That would probably be the least nutty thing he would say in a debate. I think this guy still believes he was a good mayor of Cleveland even though the city went into default while he ran it (he's the only former mayor whose picture doesn't hang at city hall).

The one question that I thought should have been asked was about their stand on the new pumpkin tax in Iowa which just happens to be where the first caucus will be held. Proving that tax departments have never met an item that they couldn't, wouldn't or shouldn't tax; Iowa is now taxing pumpkins because they are decorations rather than food even though it's technically produce. Based on that, can I write off booze as a medical expense since I drink to cure stress? That and to get drunk. Actually, that would have been a silly question for the Democratic debate. They've never met a tax they didn't like, so they would approve. And then turn around and request a farm subsidy for pumpkin farmers.

Sad story out of the world of tennis. Martina Hingis is retiring from the game because she was "falsely" accused of testing positive for cocaine. Really, who among us has not lost a job because of a "false positive" for blow? I'm glad someone is standing up to man and protecting the rights of pseudo-athletes everywhere. You know, while Hingis was never listed among the "hotties" of tennis, I would have done her..........I mean, she was excellent at whacking a fuzzy ball around.

Hilary Swank had her hair cut on Oprah Winfrey's show. I thought this was a good thing because women who look that much like a man should only have long hair if they have a mullet. Besides, I thought she should have cut her hair off a long time ago so that nobody would recognize her from The Core - one of the worst movies ever made.

In other celebrity news, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-whor ......wife is now saying that Paul was the reason their marriage broke up. I think Paul's money was the whole reason the marriage happened in the first place. Long John Mills also says she would have walked away with nothing if Paul had just admitted that it was all his fault. Raise your hand if you believe that. Actually, if you believe that, send me money (cash, no checks) for a PR campaign to rehabilitate Heather's image.

Hey, Lance Armstrong is dating one of the Olsen twins. They say it's Ashley, but how do we really know. Maybe she decided riding 100 miles a day on a bike will help her lose weight better than throwing up dinner. Okay, that's cold. They make a cute couple and Bob Saget should be proud.

A bunch of Namibian villagers (68 to be exact) got sick from eating a diseased dog. Now, I'll let the fact they were eating a dog slide. I only question the political intelligence, morals and languages of low brow heathen countries, not their eating habits. Except the French. And possibly the Russians if I could figure out exactly what they eat. In this case, I do have one question. How big was that dog to the point that 68 people could eat enough of it to get sick?

Modern parenting. Some Nebraska bimbo apparently decided to improve her relations with her cheerleader daughter by pulling the school van that she was driving next to an SUV so her daughter could lean over to a speeding vehicle to get a beer. I guess her next move to prove she's "cool" is to have a menage with her daughter's boyfriend. I think it's a cheerleader thing. Send me an email if you want a link to a dirty site with a University of Louisville cheerleader getting a little dirty.